|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 6, 2009 9:23:52 GMT -5
March 16th Afternoon ; Classroom
- - C o n f u s e d
Virginia Malone.
Huh.
Alright well there, now that I've gotten that written down before I can forget it, a bit of an explanation is probably in order. I just spent last class passing notes with Bella. And apparently... Shocker of the year!
She might have a sister.
A sister. A real, by-blood, sister. Well, half-sister. But same thing! I just... wow. That's crazy, isn't it? To go sixteen years thinking you're an only child and then find out that you might have a sister?
She doesn't seem to believe it's true. Because well - and this is where it gets a bit tricky - Regulus told her this. Not to say that his word isn't worth anything but... she's his ex-girlfriend. And he really, really isn't fond of her. And it's mutual. So, he could be making this up just to mess with her. That's what she seems to think. As for me? I don't know. I don't get why Regulus would make something like that up - maybe just 'cause I get along so much better with him. But at the same time... a sister?
In any case, I'm sort of bias. Well, not bias but... The subject of sisters hits kinda close to home. I'm doing so much to try and get my sister back and I just know that if I was in Bella's situation I would want to find out immediately if this was true, I would want to get to know the girl. Virginia. Her possible sister. But that's probably just 'cause I have such shitty relationships with my own sisters. But really, here I am saying I'd want to get to know her if I was in Bella's shoes and I barely have a relationship with one of my sisters that I've grown up with, that's almost always been in my life. Yeah, I'm trying to fix things with Bellatrix but... Not really with Cissa. Because I know it would be pointless? Because we were never really close?
I don't know.
But I realized when I was talking to Bella today that I always think of Bellatrix as my big sister. But Cissa's my little sister and just... That even sounds weird. My little sister. I'm someone's big sister... Probably the crappiest one ever if I'm only really realizing that stuff now.
But oh! This Virigina girl? Apparently she goes to Hogwarts. Here, this very school. That's why I wrote the name down. To remember it. In case I run into her?
Holy crap, that'd be weird.
Jamais Pur,
|
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 6, 2009 9:50:34 GMT -5
March 18th Evening ; Dorm Room
- - E x c i t e d
Guess what?
Guess what!
Me and Drake are going to Hogsmeade together this weekend! I know I really shouldn't be so excited merely about spending time with my boyfriend - and it's not as if I having been doing much of it or anything - but well... I have been slightly anti-social lately, at least with other people and I felt really bad so now we're going to Hogsmeade and there will be lots of other people there so that's good. Anyways, yes! Hogsmeade! I'm so excited. Honestly, I'm so grateful to have Drake right now. It's just... even just passing a few notes with him in class was enough to cheer me up. Merlin, I sound pathetic but it's just... I feel happy when I'm him. Nothing else matters, the mess I've gotten myself into doesn't matter it's just... Drake. I still can't believe I'm so lucky.
But to put a pause to the sappiness... I should probably figure out what to wear this weekend. Hmm hmm hmm. The weather's been pretty nice considering that it's March, I can probably get away with a skirt if I wear tights. Maybe my black one? It's short but not too too short, and straight... And I could wear it with... My thin, purple sweater? The soft one that buttons up, kinda like a cardigan? And then I'll just wear a tank underneath.
...Or maybe i could wear my grey, kinda-ruffly skirt? Hm. Off to browse through the closest!
I can't believe I'm in a such a good mood!
Jamais Pur,
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 6, 2009 10:07:36 GMT -5
March 20th Evening ; Common Room
- - G i d d y
Hogsmeade was amazing! Yes! A-m-a-z-i-n-g! We met up and headed down together and then just kinda strolled around without any destination in mind, heading into this shop and that. We bumped into a bunch of other people and it felt so good to finally talk to everyone! I was such an idiot for avoiding people. Because really, I'm so much happier when I'm being social. Even if I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen if he or she or they ever find out. Which, I guess, they will. Eventually. Eep.
No! Positive! Seriously, I'm in a such a good mood right now, I'm not going to let it escape me. So back to the story! Yes yes, well we wandered around a bit, talked, laughed, just had a really great time. Then we ducked into the Three Broomsticks to grab some nice, warm butterbeers and headed back with everyone else.
I'll say it again, diary:
Amazing.
Jamais Pur,
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 6, 2009 10:20:53 GMT -5
March 25th Evening ; Dorm Room
- - W o r r i e d
Shit.
So. That was a mistake. Why did I think that any good would come of it? Why? I'm so stupid! I can't believe myself sometimes. Like right now, for example. Because surely only someone barely possessing two brain cells would have done that.
I asked Regulus if he was messing with Bella or not. About the whole stuff with her having a sister.
His reaction? Well, I should have known. I should have thought before I acted but no, instead I was just thinking about the dilemma and came up with the great idea to talk to Regulus about it myself, figuring that I could get to the bottom of this once and for all. I guess I underestimated his hatred of Bella. It was... horrible. He kept saying how he was doing so much for me and I should be so grateful to him - and I am, really - and how I was ridiculous for spending my time talking to people like Bella. He kept calling her a whore and just... gah! I'm such a horrible friend, I should have stood up for her more, shouldn't I? But I mean, Regulus is my friend too... I suppose? And I did tell him to stop calling her a whore. And crossed it out. I am such a coward.
But he stuck by his story, in any case. Said that he wasn't lying, he pitied Virginia, whatever. And then went on some more about my loyalties and how I need to stop associating with Bella. But she's my best friend. And I'm not going to let that get ruined any time soon.
Oh and on another note? He wants me to pass on the message to Bella that he cheated on her while they were dating. Kissed that little Slytherin, Massie Block - apparently they were planning on getting together once Regulus and Bella were done but it didn't work out or something? Gah, I don't know. Should I tell Bella? I mean... would I want to know something like that? Well no, this isn't about me. Do I think that Bella would want to know? Frankly, I mean, she's with Remus now, she's happy, she's got enough to think about with this sister stuff... And it's not like it matters anymore so... Oh, I don't know.
Jamais Pur,
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 8, 2009 19:04:31 GMT -5
March 28th Evening ; Dorm Room
- - D r a i n e d
It's official.
All that stuff about me being so happy and not worrying about anything? That phase is done. With capital D. For emphasis. Gah, I don't know what's wrong. Well, okay, I do. I've secretly joined up with the school's renegade band of Death-Eaters-to-be and told no one. Not even my boyfriend. And while thinking of Drake had become a great way to cheer myself up, now it's having the opposite effect. Now I just worry about the fact that I'm such a coward for not saying a word. Sometimes, I really can't believe myself. Like now, for example. I mean, Drake isn't even all of it. No one knows. My friends just think everything is fine. They don't have a clue. And I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, this crazy double life. I just don't know what to do. And the more I think about it?
The more I really don't know what to do.
I skipped two of my morning classes today, by the way. The last time I skipped classes was just with some friends for the sake of being silly. Now it's 'cause I can't stand to be around so many people who have no idea. I'm driving myself crazy, just holed up in the dorm room here. I have no one to talk to about this. The only person who'd be a candidate is Regulus and he's annoyed with me 'cause of the stuff about Bella and her maybe-sister. So now I have no one. Isn't that just fine and dandy? I have no one to talk to about this, I'm just sitting in bed scrawling in my diary. This is pathetic. And yet... What other choice do I have?
Jamais Pur,
|
|
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 8, 2009 19:28:21 GMT -5
March 31st Morning ; Common Room
- - C a l m
Alright. I'm feeling better. Or at least less annoyed. Which is all that matters, really. Anyways. I guess Sirius wasn't that much of an arse. He's just concerned. Apparently it's pretty obvious that I'm all messed up. Great. Just what I was hoping to hear. But I dunno, he was just asking if I'd been sick - I actually said no, brownie points for the truth! - and if I was alright and I was just too stressed out to deal with it so I was being rather... concise? with my responses. Somehow we ended up bickering and he kept telling me to just tell him everything and he wouldn't tell a soul. So I told him that I didn't distrust his secret-keeping abilities but just didn't want him to know either. Smooth, right? Anyways, he just thought I was having problems with Drake or something. Which, I suppose, I technically am. I mean, a secret this big should definitely classify as a "problem", right?
I don't know though, the whole conversation with Sirius was just so frustrating. It was pointless, we kept running around in circles (figuratively of course, we were in class, not even able to talk, just passing notes)... It was ridiculous, though! In the end I just feigned a headache and told him I needed to get back to my schoolwork.
...And yes, I realize how obvious that was. But honestly? I just can't bring myself to care.
Jamais Pur,
|
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 8, 2009 19:44:13 GMT -5
April 4th Afternoon ; Classroom
- - B i t c h y
Just talked to Jenna.
Yes, as in Edwards.
That was stupid.
I don't even know what I was thinking really. She was just sitting right next to me and I couldn't help but think of Johnny and... Okay, I know it's ridiculous and petty and shallow for me to feel jealous of Jenna. Or threatened by her. But at the same time? Shallow and petty is something that the old Annie would have felt. So really, this must be healthy. Let's just go with that, mmk? Anyways, yeah, I talked to Jenna. Figured I should see for myself what she's like instead of just hearing from Johnny about how awesome the bitch girl is. I don't know what I was expecting but honestly?
The girl's a saint.
Figures.
I mean, I wasn't being horribly rude or anything but I definitely wasn't being all that ridiculously nice or anything... And she was. Ridiculously nice. And smart. Do you know how frustrating that is? Immensely. Gah. I wish she was this horrible bitch. Then I would be justified in disliking her. Instead, I'm just being disgustingly petty. But hey, didn't we agree that that's healthy?
In any case, I'm sticking to it.
Jamais Pur,
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 8, 2009 19:57:36 GMT -5
April 5th Afternoon ; Dorm Room
- - C o n t e n t
Hung out with Drake today.
=)
...And while I haven't normally been writing about that every single time? Well, I was actually happy instead of just worried today. So. This deserves an entry! Contrary to the annoyed state that I have the past week or so in... I'm smiling? Yes, definitely diary-entry-deserving.
Gosh, I love Drake.
I mean... like, in the casual sense of the term. Like, as in I'd say "Oh my god, I love you," to someone who lent me their notes? I don't know. I mean, he's pretty much the only thing keeping a smile on my face right now so... I don't know. I'm not in the right state of mind to be thinking about stuff like that. So let's just go with "Drake made my day. A thousand times over."
That easy enough?
Jamais Pur,
|
|
|
Andromeda Black
Ravenclaw Student[/b] Seventh Year (Second) Chaser Captain Head Girl Slug Club Member[/color]
staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Andromeda Black on Sept 8, 2009 20:31:29 GMT -5
April 8th Evening ; Common Room
- - H y p e r
Guess what?!
I have plans this Saturday! Yes, me, Miss Avoiding-Everybody has plans two days from now! For the Hogsmeade visit. Since, you know, me and a certain someone mentioned last time we talked how we should totally hang out soon soooo... I'm spending the day with Johnny! And despite his prodding when we were passing notes, it's gonna be just two of us. Just me and Johnny. Johnny and I. Whatever. Just us. And me? I'm elated. Freaking elated. I just bumped into him now and we started talking and... We're meeting up in Hogsmeade and spending the afternoon together!
Take that, Jenna.
Oh, screw crossing things out in my own diary.
TAKE THAT, JENNA.
Jamais Pur,
|
|