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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 2, 2011 14:05:13 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
WILL I LIKE WHAT I SEE?
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 16th mood: sore 
 My legs still hurt, but I don't want to go to Madam Pomfrey because it's not that big of a deal. She couldn't seem to fully heal the wounds, and she says I'm going to have permanent scars, so now the back of my legs look really ugly and I have to wear knee socks all the time because I don't want anyone to see it. It looks so horrible.
Serves me right.
Gideon and Fabian aren't mad at me anymore, which is a surprise. I'd be still mad at me if I were them. I mean, honestly, on a scale of one to ten, without one being 'understandable' and ten being 'really, really stupid', what I did was about a twenty. I just - ugh. I can't even talk about it anymore, not even to my own diary, because I just feel so stupid and I just - ugh.
I have to go. I promised Paris I would go to his dormitory again because he needs help with Herbology and I'm pretty good at it. I hope I don't screw that up, too.
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 2, 2011 15:41:13 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
LOOK RIGHT THROUGH ME
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 16th mood: hurt 
Well, Paris wanted to snog me again, so I let him. I'm not sure why he keeps wanting to do that, I'm sure he can get much more attractive females to kiss, but I suppose he was bored. I was trying to explain to him why botober pus was so important, but he kept dozing off and then, like last time, he just sort of blurted it out. Maybe studying gets him in the mood? I've heard there are certain triggers for males. And, well, females, too. They're called aphrodisiacs or something. Like oysters and chocolate. I didn't think studying could be an aphrodisiac, though. But apparently it is one for Paris? I mean, what other explanation could there be? So, he wanted to snog and I said yes.
I dunno why I agreed. I mean, I do find Paris extremely attractive - he has a wonderfully strong jaw, and lovely arms - but that wasn't it. I think I just...I just didn't care if he did or not. Snog me, that is. Is that bad? Does that make me bad? It probably does, doesn't it? I mean, I let him snog me. And then I let him put his hand up my sweater. Well, I mean, I suppose I didn't have much of a choice on that front, since he sort of just did it, but I didn't stop him from doing it. I don't know, it felt really, really...weird. And I can't tell if it was in a good or bad way? It was just...weird. No one's ever touched me that way and, well, I didn't expect the first time I get to second base would be with Paris Parkinson, of all people. Anyway, we snogged for a bit and then I stopped him and said that we should get to work and he kind of rolled his eyes and fell back and told me I was a tease. Well, not in so many words because he kind of said the f word before it, I'm just paraphrasing I guess, but that's what he basically meant. That I'm a tease. And then he told me to leave. And I guess I'm kind of...hurt? I mean, I didn't realise I was being one. He was the one who initiated it and I - I let him snog me and I let him put his hand up my shirt! Just because I didn't want to - to have sex with him doesn't mean I'm a tease.
Right?
I'm going to bed. It's been a very long two days, and I really haven't been myself.
[/b][/u] [li] Tell Gideon and Emmeline how I feel about their relationship(?) [/li][li] Make Fabian cookies(?) [/li][li] Finish essay on Flobberworms for COMC[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 3, 2011 4:55:12 GMT -5
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
THAT'S ME IN THE CORNER
THAT'S ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 18th mood: pleased 
I made a new friend today! His name is Cameron, and he's Emmeline's ex-boyfriend. He's really very nice. I'm very proud of myself for starting the conversation and taking the step to get to know him! I think that's definitely progress for me, isn't it? I mean, I'm putting myself out there and everything! And it's finally paying off! Admittedly, I might have gotten lucky in the case of Cameron since he was so nice, but it's still a step in the right direction! I found out that he likes climbing trees as well and, as a matter of fact, we're going to be climbing trees this very afternoon! He's going to help me find a lost kitten, seeing as I've always wanted to own a kitten but we've never had enough money to keep one. I can feed her stuff from the dinner table, though, or ask the elves if they'd provide me with appropriate food for her or him. Oooh, I could ask Cameron what would be the right thing to feed her! He loves animals, you see. He has a pet Orca! That's the proper name for a killer whale. I didn't know you could keep them as pets! Isn't that brilliant? Her name is - oh, sugar, I forgot what her name was, but it was a pretty name and it was obvious Cameron cares about her a lot, and misses her very much. It was so sweet!
I don't know a lot about him besides that (oh, and also he has a crush on Imogen Sauveterre, whom I haven't really met but I hear she's very nice!), but I already like him! I hope we get to be good friends, that would be lovely!
[/b][/u] [li] Tree-climbing with Cameron [/li][li] Homework?? Paris'?[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 4, 2011 7:36:37 GMT -5
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RUN, DON'T WALK
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 19th mood: depressed 
Fiona just woke me up. Apparently I fell asleep on my table in the common room and started drooling all over my Transfiguration text book. She said I was mumbling something about monkeys falling off tree branches. Dios, how embarrassing! I've just been so tired, staying up to finish my homework and researching stuff so that I can help Paris with his homework and then needing to keep up with studying for OWLs so that I don't end up having loads of chapters to study for right before the exam, so I'm trying to study stuff as soon as we take them, and then there's cheerleading practice, Emmeline is working us harder than ever and ugh I'm just so exhausted all the time and I barely see any of my friends and I miss them all so much and I just - ugh. I'm whining. I'm sure the Seventh Years are having a much harder time, since they're doing their NEWTs and everything, but I'm just so stressed out and I've missed a couple of days of my period which, you know, is kind-of worrying, but I read somewhere that that could happen when you're stressed out about something so I guess it makes sense and I just want to sleep for days and relax, but I can't because I'm just so busy and now I'm just really, really depressed because I miss my friends and I miss having fun and I miss climbing trees and I'm just so tir
[/blockquote][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 4, 2011 7:43:49 GMT -5
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SHARPEN YOUR TEETH
SINK INTO ME
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 19th mood: sleepy 
Fell asleep again. Moving to my bed because this is getting ridiculous and at least I'll be comfortable. I'm setting the alarm for five in the morning so that I can get this Charms essay done before breakfast, though.
Oh wait. Tommorow is Sunday. Thank God.
[/b][/u] [li] Charms essay [/li][li] Sleep [/li][li] Fabian something[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 4, 2011 14:43:03 GMT -5
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BREATHE IN AND OUT, CALM DOWN
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 20th mood: stressed 
Okay, so apparently I need more sleep because I fell asleep again at the library earlier today! Can you believe it? And I drooled all over Paris' Everlasting Elixirs essay. At least I didn't start talking in my sleep, though! That's a relief! A small one, but it's still one! Apparently, Stefan talks in his sleep, too, so he would have understood - he's the one who woke me up, did I mention that? Mhm, threw the paper at me. Apparently Madam Pince was starting to give me the evil eye. I don't know why I fell asleep! I slept, like, six hours last night! Of course, I didn't sleep at all Friday night, tried to pull an all-nighter, hah. Guess it's finally taking a toll on me. AND apparently I COMPLETELY forgot about this Transfiguration essay we had and it's due TOMORROW!! Thankfully, though, Stefan helped me and it's done now. Gosh, I can't believe I forgot about that!! How could I?! kfdsjgfg I guess I've just been so stressed, and I'm still not done with Paris' essay because I had to take a break to work on the Transfiguration essay and dkfjldgdf the Christmas Hols can NOT come soon enough!! I'm soooo ready for it (them???), like you would not believe!
Innn other news, apparently there was this strip poker thing organised by these two Gryffindor sixth years and Lyle and Stefan were there (and so was Fabian!!! Isn't that strange? I wonder if Gideon and Emmeline were there, too? Forgot to ask Stefan, oh well) and Stefan got drunk and apparently he snogged Coco! I don't know her at all, but apparently that's something big and it was his first kiss and he can't even remember it! The poor thing ): I'm not surprised Lyle didn't tell me about it yet since, hah, I've been sort of buried under all these silly responsibilities and I haven't talked to him in a bit and anyway, I just have the conclusion left for Paris essay and then I'm done with that and then oh God I can't remember if I have anything due, maybe I should ask Emmeline? fdskfjg ahhhh I'm just so exhausted and I want the holidays nowwwwwww.
[/b][/u] [li] dskfjdalkjfalkdf;af [/li][li] more dskjfalfskfkflslf[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 4, 2011 15:47:31 GMT -5
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LET'S GO BACK
BACK TO THE BEGINNING
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 21st mood: horrified 
GIDEON AND EMMELINE MIGHT BREAK UP?!!? I was just talking to Gideon and apparently this weekend they had some sort of date in the tower and at the end of it Emmeline told him that she loved him and and he didn't say it back and now they might break up?! dfjdagjlddg OHMYGOODNESS have I really been so selfish and busy with everything going on with me that I hadn't even noticed Emmeline was upset?! Oh my gosh, what a terrible friend I am! Unbelievable! Seriousy, I just...oh my God, poor Emme! I'll bet she's super hurt and her best friend isn't even there to help her because she's got school work and oh gosh! I can't find her anywhere! I neeeeeed to talk to her and make sure she's okay and sjfkldgdf I can't believe I've been so negligent! Ugh and GIDEON, he's totally freaking out about this! Apparently they haven't talked since and I can only imagine WHAT Emmeline is thinking, probably that Gideon is going to break up with her or doesn't like her at ALL or something and oh my gosh, I don't want them to break up! They're so perfect for each other! I mean, okay, perfect might be a stretch but I can't think of anyone better suited for each of them, so I guess they are kinda perfect and oh I hope they work things out! Gideon told me he didn't want me to talk to her first but oh gosh, I need to find her and and at least show her that I'm there for her!
Okay, yes, I'm going to go find her now!
[/b][/u] [li] FIND EMMELINE [/li][li] Drop off Paris' Potions essay ASAP[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 5, 2011 4:36:12 GMT -5
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ARE YOU WORTH THE WAIT?
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 21st mood: listless 
Oh, I just got a letter from my pen pal! Oh gosh, I had completely forgotten about it! He or she sounds kind of miffed that I didn't write to them first. I...didn't realise I was supposed to? Besides, like I said, it completely slipped my mind between everything. I wonder if we'll get in trouble for being so late with this pen pal stuff...I hope not! I'd hate to have caused trouble for whoever it is. I'm going to go write back to them quickly, I hope they're not too mad! I wonder who it was...eh, I probably wouldn't know them anyway, even if I did learn their name. Are we supposed to know each other's names? I've read stories with pen pal situations, and sometimes they stay anonymous and sometimes they don't...oh well. I guess I'll just have to wait and see!
[/b][/u] [li] Finish up my Charms essay. [/li][li] Tutoring Paris this Thursday I hope he doesn't snog me again[/li][li] ...I really miss my long hair.[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 5, 2011 5:51:02 GMT -5
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ALL THE RIGHT SHADES
ON THE WRONG PAGE
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 22nd mood: flustered 
His name is Lucius Malfoy and he's kind-of......
mean
a jerk
arrogant
........special? Right. I'll go with special, it sounds less mean. He's definitely, um, special. He's one of those purebloods, you know? I should've known, I've heard his name around before, so yes definitely one of those...pureblood-y sort. He's kind of...interesting? It's obvious he's intelligent, but he's not very...friendly. He's very polite and stern. I mean, I doubt he has a funny bone in his body! Oh, that was mean but probably true. He's just...yeah. Very, very serious. And kind-of needs to loosen up maybe a little. But maybe it's because I'm a muggleborn. He didn't seem too impressed by my "family history". Gosh, I don't think we're going to end up being very good friends at all. I was kind-of hoping I'd make a new friend through this thing but...ah, well. Perhaps Dios has some sort of plan for us, perhaps there's a reason Fate brought us together. But, I don't really know if I believe in fate, to be honest. I mean, I believe in God, for sure, but I don't really believe in Fate bringing people together? I think it's usually more of a coincidence or something? I don't know. Well, anyway, we'll see how it goes with him. Hopefully we end up on at least kind-of good terms. I at least don't want him to hate me? Dunno. We'll see.
Oh, gosh, and I talked to this girl, Juliette Benoit in Potions today - or, well, actually she talked to me and apparently my crush on Severus is very obvious! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!! That's so...embarrassing! Like, oh my goodness, is it really obvious to everyone?! I mean, it's not a secret from my friends, really, but...but...dfksjfakldfjklgd how embarrassing! Jules said I should change the way I dress, and she helped me after classes to pick out something more 'sexy' and 'mature'. I ...don't know if I feel entirely comfortable in it? It's just...it's not me. And she didn't let me wear my knee socks, either, even though I told her I had to. I don't...well, I'm not going to flaunt my scars, you know? Gideon and Fabian are the only people who know about the...incident. Oh and Madam Pomfrey, too, and probably Professor Dumbledore was informed about a werewolf being on the grounds. Anyway, I really appreciate what Jules did for me, but...I dunno. We'll see. I don't quite know if I even want Severus to really notice me. It's been so long and I sort of just want to get over him because I'm tired of not being noticed and I don't want to try and then fail because that's much worse than him just not paying any attention to me, you know? No, I like things the way they are now. I...yes. Is that cowardly? Whatever, I'm going to go write back to Lucius now.
[/b][/u] [li] Cuddling session with Lyle [/li][li] Put my hair in curlers before bed [/li][li] NO HOMEWORK TODAY!!! [/li][li] ...Get over Severus Snape(?)[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 22, 2011 5:11:05 GMT -5
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TWIST && SHOUT
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 23rd mood: chipper 
Guess what, diary?! TJ Campbell wants to start a club for the environment and he wants ME to help him run it! Isn't that so awesome?! I love how conscientious and caring he is about the environment! Very few people are like that. Why, just the other day, I saw a Slytherin second year chucking some rubbish onto the floor! I had half a mind to go up to him and tell him he ought to pick it up, but he seemed to be in a hurry so I picked it up myself and put it in the bin. Honestly, I don't understand why people would harm the environment like that! Don't they love the Earth? It's theirs, and they're just...ruining it! Gosh, it just makes me so mad sometimes when I think about it. I mean, really, it wouldn't take that much energy for a person to find a rubbish bin and put their rubbish in it. Or even just put it in their bag or pocket for later! I just wish students here would be more considerate, it would really help if others were picking up after themselves. Then Hogwarts could be really clean. I hope they don't throw stuff in the lake, too, because I don't know how to really swim very well so I couldn't clean that up, and I'm sure it bothers the Giant Squid and other creatures living there. I wouldn't want someone dropping litter in my house, and I'm sure others would agree with me! So, if they can be neat in their own homes, why can't they be neat outside?
It just makes no sense at all to me.
Maybe that should be part of the campaign. Telling people to treat the outside the same way they treat their own home. Granted, it might not be extremely effective since I'm sure there are slobs who don't take care of their rooms, either. But it would be a start! Maybe it'd get people thinking or something. I could ask Gideon's friend, Milo, if he would maybe like to draw a posted or two for us, seeing as I have no drawing abilities what-so-ever. I'm not sure whether he'll be interested or not, but it wouldn't hurt to ask, right?
[/s] Plans for Environmental Club:[/b][/u] [li] Ask Milo about the posters [/li][li] Recruit members (?) [/li][li] Talk over details with TJ [/li][li] Come up with a slogan [/li][li] Ask Professor Sprout if I can set up a booth or something outside the Great Hall to inform people about it. [/li][li] Maybe make brownies for the event if Professor Sprout let's us.[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 22, 2011 5:51:25 GMT -5
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WHEN YOU'RE NOT
WHERE YOU WANNA BE
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 26th(changeable) mood: excited 
Oh gosh, today's the day I finally get to meet Danny! I'M SO EXCITED!! It's about darn time, I've been looking forward to this for weeks! I didn't have time to make him brownies, unfortuntately. I'm sure he'll understand, though? I mean, I hope he does. He seemed like a very nice, understanding person! I'll have to send his mum some, too. And Fabian's mum, too! I really need to remember to do that. Luckily, I'm done with Paris' homework, and mine, so this whole weekend is free! I kind of feel bad for agreeing to see Danny still, even when Fabian told me to stop talking to him, but really what harm could it do? Anyway, can't write for long, I have to get ready. Eeee, so excited!
[/b][/u] [li] Brownies for Mrs. Prewett. [/li][li] Biscuits for Fabian. [/li][li] Brownies for Mrs. Mulciber. [/li][li] Set up lessons with Lucius to teach him Spanish[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Jul 22, 2011 7:07:34 GMT -5
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LET ME SEE YOU STRIPPED
DOWN TO THE BONE
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 27th(changeable) mood: numb 
Something terrible happened yesterday. I did something really stupid again by going to see Danny. And. And Lyle's in the hospital wing. And Gideon and Fabian are really, really mad. And I feel really, really stupid. And I'm really, really worried about Lyle because he got really, really hurt. Like...badly hurt. Worse than me. I hope he'll be okay.
Gideon's really, really mad.
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Aug 1, 2011 11:18:07 GMT -5
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FACE IT,
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE UP, UP AGAINST
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 28th mood: morose 
I can't believe I was so stupid. I mean, Gideon and I almost died. How could I trust Danny like that? After Fabian told me not to? I just - I need to stop making these stupid mistakes, because one day it really is going to kill somebody that I really care about. It almost did already! And...God, I just keep thinking about how the curse almost got Gideon and ugh I just hate what I did and how...how I led Danny on and...and let him bring me up to his room and it was so stupid because I knew he didn't just want to give me a 'present', but I just...I didn't think he'd want to go that far but he was so rough and - and he scared me a lot. It was just - I just really thought he was going to rape me. And I had a horrible nightmare last night that...that he did. That Gideon didn't get there in time and...and, oh God, it was terrible. And then...and then Gideon did get there, but then Danny...Danny killed him and I woke up screaming. And then...and then when I went to cuddle with Gideon, he asked me why. He's never asked me why before! And it's...it's not really a big deal, but he's never been this angry with me before, and I just hope this doesn't destroy our friendship, because I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. I'd probably die without him, and I'm probably not being dramatic, either.
I dunno, everything is just one, big mess right now.
[/b][/u] [li] Finish Paris' essays. [/li][li] And then tell him you're done tutoring him. [/li][li] Make a Dreamless Draught(?) Do I deserve it?[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Aug 20, 2011 19:39:02 GMT -5
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MAY YOUR SMILE
SHINE ONE
-------------------------------------------------------------------- november 30th mood: grateful 
I had another nightmare tonight, but I didn't want to bother Gideon about it again so I went to the Potions classroom this time and when I was there, Severus caught me. I thought for sure he was going to kick me out and I was so embarrassed because I was making an Amortentia potion (I mean, I wasn't going to use it, I just wanted to make it) and it's supposed to be illegal and stuff because it's the strongest love potion. Anyway, so I was just about to figure out a way to stammer out an apology when he actually comes up and starts to help me! And, ay Dios mio, did I mention that he knew my name? Like, my actual name. Gabriella Rivera. He knew my name! I wasn't just another student to him! Or, well, I guess I still am, because I suppose it doesn't really mean anything, the fact that he knows my name, except that it does to me and I guess it's just..nice to know that the man you're practically in love with actually knows your name, you know? Not that...oh that came out wrong. I'm not in love with him. It's just...a stupid crush. A really, really, really stupid crush.
But oh Dios, at some point he put his hand on mine and it was so warm and I thought for sure that the butterflies that were already fluttering around like mad in my stomach had exploded! Anyway, he helped a lot with the potion. Apparently, the text books don't tell you everything. It turns out the exact shade the text book said it would be! And he let me keep a bit, although he confiscated the rest. I guess just so that I can remind myself that I managed to make an Amortentia potion, which is sixth year work. Not that that's such a big deal, since I've been doing sixth year work almost all year, but still. It counts for something. I just can't believe how nice he was being. Fabian is totally wrong about him, Severus can be really sweet. Or, at least, not mean. I just hope someday someone can crack him open. I mean, I know it won't be me, haha, as if it would be me! But I just hope someone will draw out the amazing person I know him to be on the inside. I owe him that much for making me feel so much better.
[/b][/u] [li] Just sleep for now.[/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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Post by Gabriella Rivera on Aug 20, 2011 20:36:36 GMT -5
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STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT
-------------------------------------------------------------------- december 2nd mood: melancholy 
Wel.
I tried to be sociable and talk to this girl I did a project with last year. I...really don't think it went that well at all. I don't think she particularly liked me. Like, not at all. I don't understand why? I'm positive I didn't insult her, actually I complimented her hair because Daciana really did have nice hair that day, but she kept saying how we completely wouldn't get along and that I was better off trying to be friends with someone else, and for some reason I just kept going after it because I was determined to get her to like me and in the end I think I just really, really annoyed her and it was making me sad so I let her go I suppose. I think she was relieved, too. She looked relieved. Maybe I should just stop trying to talk to people. But how else would I make new friends that way? And I do want new friends. Maybe Emmeline can introduce me to someone or something since I'm doing a pretty horrible job of it.
Oh, and on that note, I also managed to annoy a complete stranger. My offenses just keep piling up, don't they?
[/b][/u] [li] Stop trying to talk to people you haven't met before. You just annoy them [/li][li] Paris' Potions homework has to be finished tomorrow. [/li][li] Don't tap your feet when you're anxious [/li][li] Freddie snaps his wrist band to punish himself[/s][/li][/ul] [/blockquote] [/blockquote][/color][/font] |
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