Bella's Babble

[bella]

I had actually forgotten how much I laugh when I’m around Pierre. How pathetic. Not the laughing thing, but that I forgot. That has got to be the best class period I’ve had in a long while. He’s just such a little kid. It makes me stop thinking about all my glorious problems for a bit. I can just joke around with him. Things come very easy, very naturally. Much to his dismay, much like the brother I never had. He’s kinda cute when he’s trying to impress me though. Maybe I should just break down my own rules and date him for a day. If for no other reason then to make Remus jealous. Although, I can guess that plan would backfire before it ever got started. He would see this as me “moving on” and that this is “better” and “a good thing” and blah blah blah. He really gives me a headache sometimes, you know that? Ugh. But, for whatever insane reason, I don’t have it in me to be mad at him. He just needs his precious time to realize his life doesn’t have to be as suckish as he makes it out to be. Hmm – wouldn’t that be amazing if I could take my own advice? I suppose its all about that “is the cup half full or half empty” thing. I’ve been looking at this as half empty for a long time.

I think it’s time to dump the entire cup out and start over.

[bella]

God, why can’t there be more Drake’s in the world?

It would make my life so much easier. Never mind that he’s having some family issues, I’m talking about Drake-Drake. As the person, my close friend, would-be-a-good-boy-toy-if-I-were-into-that-sort-of-thing Drake. And honestly? I’m tempted. After all this stuff, it would be nice to just – live and let live, you know? No strings. Nothing. No “I love you’s” and no “yeah, we’re going steady.” Just me, him, and that be it. There is just one slight problem to this odd Drake fantasy thing of sorts:

I don’t want Drake; I want Remus.

[bella]

So, I’ve been thinking about this, and…

Remus is mad at me. James is kinda still mad at me. Peter never knows what’s going on. And Sirius = ? ? ?

I’m kind of…wry, to ask him? I donno, like I said before, it’s that whole “well I don’t know if he knows I know and what if he does or doesn’t” and the list is endless. I’ve been meaning to ask him, I’m just, okay, “scared” is a good word. I don’t need all of them mad at him. Although I guess if Sirius and Peter turn out to hate me too, James’ only half hates me so…

Forget it. I’ll save this for some other time. I can’t deal with Sirius being angry with me too.

[bella]

Improvements on Life:

1.) Buster is starting to not be so antisocial.
2.) Buster has stopped trying to abuse my fingernails.
3.) Moony’s weight is getting to normal ratio (he was too skinny).
4.) Moony doesn’t bother Buster so much anymore.
5.) Took B&M out to the big oak today. They didn’t run away.
6.) I’ve caught up on all my homework.
7.) I can actually pay attention in class again.
8.) Got an O on my Potions review. (Still need to study, though).
9.) Talked to Tai for a little bit.
10.) Can write/hear Remus’ name without cringing.
11.) Haven’t thrown up in a week.
12.) Haven’t cried for two days.
13.) Saw Drake in the hallway; he looks better.
14.) Haven’t seen Peter or Sirius; not mad at me (?)
15.) Took some time to sketch yesterday.
16.) Misery is tolerable; easing up.
17.) Avoided Remus entirely today. ):

[bella]

You’re the direction I follow to get home.
When I feel like I can’t go on, you tell me to go.
And it’s like I can’t feel a thing without you around.
And don’t mind me if I get weak in the knees
‘Cause you have that effect on me, you do.

Everything you say…every time we kiss…
I can’t think straight. But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you.

Months going strong now, and no goodbye.
Unconditional, unoriginal. Always by my side.
Meant to be together. Meant for no one but each other.
You love me, I love you harder. So…

Everything you say…every time we kiss…
I can’t think straight. But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you.

So, please, give me your hands…
So, please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart…
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine…
Yeah…

Oh everything you say…every time we kiss…
I can’t think straight. But I’m okay.
And I can’t think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you.

So, please, give me your hands…
So, please, just take my hand…

_{6 months, hey monday}

[bella]

And you got here just in time
To let me know I was worth saving.

If nothing more than for the heart.

[/b][/color][/blockquote]Nearly three weeks.

And he finally admits I exist.

Obviously the library is some kind of omen/good luck charm for us. I don’t know which. But I don’t either, because guess what?

REMUS AND I ARE DATING AGAIN.

!!! (!!!)

I don’t know how to write it down. Everything was kind of fast. Not like the movies. Definitely not. I’m still giddy for goodness sakes. The morning kind of sucked, I admit, and I mean, I was just trying unsuccessfully to study but he…well, he came over and we went out in the hallway and from there it’s just sort of…fuzzed. I don’t know if this means we’re going to get better or worse from here, but the we is the important part in this. He’s still a little upset, I’m sure. I wouldn’t forgive me either. But he’s back; he’s mine. And I’ve never felt happier, despite the…ah, well, it was a stressful conversation, okay? I don’t want to get into details. Not to mention, what if this got into the wrong hands?

No one wants to hear an in-depth description about Isabella Swan making out with Remus Lupin. ;]

!!! !!! (!!!)

It was…ah, indescribable. From our very first kiss to this, right? I’m still in shock to. I was surprised because he’s always been very…careful? I’m not sure. He’s just very distinct with what I am and am not allowed to do. We’ve never technically talked about it, but it’s there. And today was the first time he apparently forgot his own rules. He’s a liar if he said he didn’t enjoy it. I know I can make him crazy. For once he let that part get the better of him, and I’m not complaining. It’s a little depressing to think that was the first and most likely last time though. He’s just so darn picky. I would just forget about it and say “oh well” but…I’m a liar if I said I didn’t enjoy it, either. I want him for him. All of him. Get the picture?

Too bad that’s never going to happen.

Stupid rules.[/color][/font][/blockquote]

[bella]

Alright, so, this was my thought process: Remus & I are back together which means James’ must have cooled down by now and Sirius can’t hate me because we’re (Remus and me) not fighting anymore. So, I finally asked him today. About whether or not he hated me, too. And the surprising part of this conversation actually isn’t that he’s not angry with me.

The surprise: since when are Sirius and Alecto Carrow dating?!

But wait, it gets better: James Potter and Marlene McKinnon?

And so…

James + Lily = Obsession That relationship is apparently terminated. Wow. Just wow. I never thought I’d be alive when that day happened. I didn’t think that day was coming. He just – gave up on her? Seven years of infatuation and out of no where he decided he actually isn’t in love with Lily? I’m like…well, happy he realized she and him will never be, but – ha, talk about wasted time. If we weren’t on thin ice already, I would tease him about it…frankly I haven’t seen James’ since the last time, anyways. This explains why. Probably using up every spare minute with Marlene. Marlene McKinnon. That’s a switch. How do you go from Lily to Marlene? Oh well. Whatever. It’s not like I’m an expert on love, or how it works.

Okay, but, seriously – Sirius and Alecto? Right up there with the James/Marlene pairing. I don’t see what attracts him to her, but, hey… As he pointed out, Sirius gave me no grief in dating his brother, of all people, so I have no right to poke fun at his selection, either. And personally I’m over caring about the gossip surrounding couples. It’s all lies anyways. And either way, who cares? A couple involved two people – not two people and the rest of the school. What happens between the two is their business. No one else’s. Which is why, despite the shock, neither James nor Sirius is going to hear me complain about the girlfriend. I refuse to be the starter of a rumor. Call it my New Year’s resolution. (How many days until January, anyways?) Minimize on the gossiping. I can do that.

[bella]

I finished reading Romeo and Juliet.

That was the stupidest book I’ve ever read.

Enough said.

[bella]

So…got a note from Remus today. He has that dang owl of his pretty well trained. I don’t know how it knows where the window of my dorm is, but it does. I was reading, or trying to – Moony and Buster kept laying down on front of my book. Okay, how do I explain this? I was on my stomach, on my bed, holding my book. In the circle my arms created Buster and Moony were sitting. Just when I thought they’d settled down, Moony would pop up and go sit right in front of one of the pages. And then Buster would, and so…my whole reading thing didn’t go over very well. So on top of that, they freaked out when Remus’ bird started tapping on the glass. Rats and owls? Yeah, don’t get along that great. So I put them away, and then opened the window and took the note. Apologized to her (owl) for not having anything, shut the window, and went back to my bed.

You’re probably wondering why I’m going into so much detail about this. I would be to, except I know why I’m rambling.

The note? He wants me to meet him tomorrow. Out in the courtyards. Quote on quote “I’ve missed you Bells; I just want to spend some time with you.” There was more then that, but I won’t go into it. That’s all you need to understand this:

I’m scared to accept.

I know, I know, I know I should not be worried about spending time with Remus. Heck, I am more then thrilled he wants to spend time with me at all since we haven’t spoken for forever. But…well, I just… I guess I’m worried about what will happen. I shouldn’t be expecting anything to happen, I realize, but – oh I don’t know, what if he realizes we should have never gotten back together or something equally as awful? What if we just end up fighting again? What if – God, I don’t even want to think about what he’ll say about Buster and Moony. And then there’s that whole kissing thing…I’m not sure what I’m allowed to do anymore. Lines are blurred. And I know all this worrying it probably pointless, but can you blame me? Three weeks felt like a lifetime. Things could have changed. All these What If’s…it’s making my head hurt.

But I’ll go. I have to. I’ve missed him too much not to.

[bella]

It’s not about worrying what’s down the road,
Or where you will end up.



It’s about enjoying where you are right now.

^{manip credit
to alva (:}

[bella]

Notes of Today:

[/b][/center]

• I was worried about nothing yesterday
  
• Remus is over trying to use werewolfism as an excuse to stay away from me
  
• I’m okay with werewolfism; separation in Remus and The Wolf
  
• Remus is okay with Buster & Moony
  
• He’s an excellent romantic
  
• Remus’ self control is dying out

We ended up getting somewhat lost in the courtyard. Everything was just…perfect. My own fairytale. Ha, and my little dream? Might actually come true. Remus is getting pretty slack on his own rules. I’m not sure if he even remembers them anymore. I won’t be reminding him any time soon. Call me manipulative. He can’t hold a grudge against me if it’s his own fault. It’s kind of mean of him to let me go so far though, and then take it all back again. I’ve made my own resolve though: I won’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s the least I can do, right? Its sort of irritating our happiness’ can’t always match up correctly, but it’s working out alright. He’s cool with Buster and Moony, which was like…whoa. I assumed he would freak out. But Remus isn’t so touchy about the werewolf thing anymore… I mean, considering how he used to talk about it. We just don’t really talk about it anymore. That’s sort of nice. I mean, at least I’ve gained some trust back? I’ve been good. I haven’t gone to the library for…ah, that stuff recently. Well, anyways…today was spectacular. Except for this one minor detail that I still can’t believe:

I fell asleep.

I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night, alright? I stayed up worrying about apparently nothing. It was beyond embarrassing, but I guess I’m “cute” when I’m sleeping…Remus didn’t seem to mind, although I felt like dying. Oh but waking up in his arms…

Now if I could just have that kind of peace every day, I would be set.[/color][/font][/blockquote]

[bella]

So, I was thinking about this today…don’t ask me why because I don’t have the slightest clue. Well okay, yes I do. I just like, passed Reg in the hallway you know? Totally random, nothing special. And then I had this weird thought process:

Oh, I should say hi.
No, wait, why would I do that?
I hate him.
Why?

Just one of those odd things you think about every once in a while. He looked generally happy. Don’t know why I care. I’m rather indifferent about the whole thing. I guess it really only just hit me today that we’re not friends. I mean, friends talk and hang out. I haven’t so much as spoken one word to the guy since uh…yeah. But I think I forgave him without knowing it. Hence my little episode today. If you want to call it that. It was just awkward. That was really my only point of writing this down. Hmm. Guess that’s it?

Okay, I’m just going to shut up now. =P

[bella]

Christmas. C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. HOW (?!) DO (?!) I (?!) MISS (?!) THAT (?!) -.-

Like, seriously.

I’m still in shock. So, yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.

Um. Huh. Well. I guess I really should get on with my life here. Right. So. Today. Erm…trampled through the snow (NOT a fan of it)…waited for Remus…oh my God so on top of my realizing it wasn’t Christmas, of all the holidays, honestly, I obviously didn’t get anything for Remus [insert cringe here] and of course he gets something for me. And it wasn’t just like, a box of chocolates. Because Remus just – he goes all out on everything, you know? 110% or not at all. Well…he uh…

Bought me a “puppy.” I say “puppy” because technically it’s a stuffed animal. No rule-breaking required. At least I don’t think so, and I’m not stupid enough to ask. It’s the coolest thing on the planet, I swear, whoever thought it up is a genius. Some guy Remus knows… Didn’t ask a whole lot of questions for once. Anyways it’s this little stuffed dog that, when petted and saying a spell, jumps into real life. When he’s alive it’s the cutest thing ever. I always feel bad turning him back. Kinda silly of me, but whatever. Point is Remus is freak’in amazing and I love my present. He still doesn’t have a name, though. I’m indecisive.

OH.

Pafoot = Sirius = Dog
Wormtail = Peter = Mouse (?)

Now I realize this was stupid of me, but in my defense I didn’t think it would actually happen but: we went to the shack. Like, through the tree and…yeah. It was crazy. I’m probably never going to be able to look at that thing the same way again. Stupid Remus looked like he was on a suicide attempt at first, I was ready to just drop dead myself. But there’s something on the tree – like, a certain spot or something – and if you press your hand against it the Willow just – freezes. It’s the strangest thing. And like, whoa can Remus run. =O Ah, well, so, after that little episode…yeah, there’s this tunnel, which is damp and gross but it was alright. I was a bit distracted with the whole “20 Questions” round he offered me. I don’t get it. He goes from telling me I’m not allowed to ask him a single thing or go do any more research on my own and then he comes out with “ask away’” and takes me to the one place where he actually is a werewolf. This is supposed to help me not think about it how? I felt….out of place. Now I realize I should have figured this out waaaay earlier but… I guess, like, now… I’m a bit more conscious about what my actions can do to others, we’ll say. That’s the nicest way I can think to put it. Gagh, this is all too…just…ugh. Skipping to some revelations:

1.) He doesn’t remember things when he’s…uh, transformed. It’s just kind of a blank spot, but he said sometimes he dreams about it. That has to be strange.
2.) Transforming isn’t like a – thing to improve. It happens, and it always happens the same way and it doesn’t get easier and it doesn’t get harder. It just is.
3.) Fenrir Greyback? If I had a hit list he’d be on it. Remus was bitten when he was just a little kid… By the Greyback guy. He was like a morbid celebrity in some of those books I was reading. Almost like a freaky cult. You know, if you weren’t with him you were dead. I can not loose Re
4.) When you’re a werewolf, self control is nonexistent.
5.) (Not new news or anything, but) Remus is by far the most caring guy I have ever met in my entire life. He’s just so worried he’s going to hurt somebody.

I wish I could take it all away. It sucks to have to watch him go through it all by himself. And I can’t do anything about it. I guess he has James and everything, but being an Animagus is not the same thing as being a werewolf. He doesn’t have anyone to talk to. I mean really talk to. I don’t want to watch him hurting, but the best thing I can do is give him a hug and tell him I love him anyways. It doesn’t feel like that’s enough. If anything I think it just depresses him more. He doesn’t understand how I can feel like that. I don’t know what I could do to explain it. It just… Never mind.

Oh, and last revelation:

6.) “Not yet, Bella.” Not yet. I wonder…? ;]

[bella]

Yay for me! I’m in the Hospital Wing. That’s how wonderful a loser I am these days. It’s kind of awkward to be writing away in the open like this, but I had to get this stuff out somehow and what am I supposed to do? Talk to Rabastan some more? His jaw is probably still sore. And there I go again, starting at the end… So!

The Beginning: last night, well all day really, I’d spent my free time doing homework. After dinner I was going to go back up to my dorm and finish it. Or try to. And in my defense I did make it back to my dorm. Got my book and everything. But I just couldn’t sit there, you know? So I decided to go out for a walk. The Whomping Willow seemed a good place to start, just with everything that’s happened. I swear if I ever have to stand under that thing again I might die of a heart attack, but just looking at it’s alright. It’s a good subject for sketching. That isn’t quite the point, though. When I was walking down there I heard like – well, scream. It was awful. And what was I supposed to do? Someone could have been dying! That’s what it sounded like, I swear. So, excusing the idea that I’m suicidal, I ran in the direction of the sound and yeah, whatever, so I blindly ventured into the Forbidden Forest…not the point. How many times do I have to cover that? Alright, and now I’m getting off track… Rabastan was out in the woods. An utter madman. He was going to kill me. Do you understand that? K-I-L-L. God and now I’m talking to paper again…

Well, as the story goes…we…talked about a few things…after he settled down, mind you. Is it stupid to say that was one of the scariest nights of my life? It was just…one of those “oh my GOD” nights, I guess. Too many things happened for me to actually register. He was going to attack me. So I got his wand. But then I mentioned Khai and it was like I’d flipped a switch. “Khai” and BAM, instant defense mode. He’s nuts. I’m not that bad about Remus, am I? Of course his name has only been scribbled in here a thousand times… My one claim to fame last night is that I kicked and almost escaped Rabastan. This close, I kid you not. Ew, but then – gross, gross, gross. I’m not even going to get into that one. We’ll leave it at this:

Rabastan + Touching = N-O

Pretty self explanatory, I think. He’s a slime ball. I still feel like I need to go take a dozen more showers before I’m actually clean again. Which speaking of, last night? Best shower of my life. Excluding the whole thing about nearly falling over like, a million times. I guess I forgot to mention that throughout this whole thing it was raining, huh? And I was walking/falling/fighting in the dirt all night long. Disgusting. Oh, and that brings me to my diagnosis:

– No, I’m not dead. (Yay!)
– Minor head injuries, loss of blood (taken care of now)
– Cuts and scraps galore (mostly healed, looks nasty)
– Sprained ankle (painful, swollen…Pomfrey says I’m free in another day or two)

All I can say is how do muggles put up with this kind of stuff?! If I was stuck like this for weeks I would die. Just being in here today’s been driving me nuts. It’s such a waste of time. Did I mention it’s Thursday? Yeah, so basically Remus was in here last night, and Johnny stopped by this morning…that’s about it. Remus because – oh, hmm. Okay starting with Johnny first: Johnny came up here because he’d heard Remus telling James apparently…which I think implies Remus was trying to keep this whole thing “on the down low” since it was James. Could be wrong. But hey, whatever. People are bound to find out Rabastan got his butt kicked by a little Hufflepuff girl and a Gryffindor, right? Johnny was nice enough about it though. I think he was trying to be funny – I have a little notebook of mad libs now. Did a couple of them…I even got Rabastan to do a few with me. Amazing, right? Obviously he’s bored. Or just trying to stop moping. He’s pathetic, honestly. I’m a little worried I might have been worse about Remus. Alright, but um – so it’s obvious why I’m stuck in here. So, Rabastan. Well. After our little rendezvous of sorts…well, it’s not like I could just walk on out of the Forest by myself. (Hence the whole “touching Rabastan” thing.) Yeah, well – Remus never did actually tell me what he’d been outside for, but we kind of sort of…ah…how do I phrase this nicely?

Case scenario here: Rabastan and I are walking out of the Forest. I’m limping, clinging to Rabastan…both parties are bloody…dirty…(Rabastan smelled)…and Remus just happens to be outside. It went something like this:

Rabastan mumbles.
I look up.
My thoughts: “HOLY CRAP. Um…”
Small smile, wave at Remus.
(I’m pretty sure Rabastan rolled his eyes.)
Remus processes the scene…
AKDJHSKDBU!!! <-- [insert brutal punch or two here]
Result of that: my balance is gone, practically fall flat on my face.
Remus figures that out, hits Rabastan again, and somehow managed to catch me, too.
[Super werewolf reflexes?]
Rabastan cusses with every name in the book (and then some).
I, hastily, review [and edit] the past half hour or so.
Remus isn’t pleased.
Remus helps me to here.
Rabastan drags himself along afterwards.
(I don’t think he wouldn’t have come, except he had a gross hit across the head…)
We get up here. Nurse freaks out a little.
Hour later…I’m confined to a bed, Rabastan’s confined to a bed.

Lovely, eh?

Huh. Rab woke up. He’s not acting much better. It’s weird, to be perfectly honestly. He’s such a filthy pig but in this strange way it’s sort of like – we’re friends? I’m not sure. I doubt he’d ever talk to me outside the situation. And it’s not like I really want to. But…he’s interesting. I guess I look at him more like a test subject then a person. Sad, huh?

Oh, and did I ever say Tai came up here, too? No, I guess not. I asked him to get you my diary so I could have something to do. I’m not exactly sure how he got it…Accio charm I’m assuming. I told him where it was. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with that kind of information. Sorry, not even Remus. He does not need to see what sort of garbage I spill to this thing. Tyson would care less about invading my privacy and besides that, no one besides myself can open it. Nifty, hmm? Got to love magic. But you never know. Better to be safe then sorry. My current situation? Yeah, classic example…maybe next time I’ll learn. Well…Rabastan’s being quiet, and on one else is in here…yay for silence…not. This is so boring. What am I supposed to do? Maybe I should have asked him to get my sketch book, too…or this works. Huh. Oh forget it, this is so

Whoa. Khai’s here.

…well this ought to be interesting.

This is beyond awkward right now. I feel like I need to get up and leave. Obviously that won’t be happening any time soon. I can’t like, not just turn off my hearing though! Not that they’re exactly saying much…I think Khai’s crying, but I can’t tell from here. Heck, maybe Rabastan’s crying with her. They’re a little messy couple, aren’t they? Or ex-couple. Whatever. Is it stupid I feel bad for them? This is Khai’s fault and I’m the one feeling regretful. At least I think it’s Khai’s problem? Maybe I should ask Ludo about it…? WOW, okay, forget. I’m just going to put an end to all that right now. I do not need to go shoving my nose into other people’s business. I’m tired of playing matchmaker. Besides, I’ve got enough relationship issues of my own without dealing with other peoples. I still feel bad though… And you know, once I heal up or Rabastan heals up – whichever comes first – everything is just going to go back to the way it was, so I’m not sure why I care. Having a heart-to-heart with Rabastan Lestrange just doesn’t happen every day and it won’t happen again, either. He’s obviously bored with me already. Once he’s out of here it will be back to “Swan” and “God, you’re such a pest” and etc., etc. So he can just deal with his own problems. Hmm, I wonder if that means he’ll be converting back to one girl every night, different each time of course? It’s almost like Khai flicked a little switch on him somewhere. Personally I’d rather have a happy, not-to-freak-ish Rabastan dating Khai then a psychotic one not dating her. That’s not enough reason to start asking question, though and

I think Rabastan is crying again.

[/blockquote]

[bella]

So…

Rabastan’s sort of okay.

…

Yeah, yeah, so sue me. I know I’m supposed to hate him, but he’s actually not so bad when he’s by himself. I think this whole thing with Khai has made him realize being a jerk isn’t something a girl desires. I mean, it sucks watching him mope over there but part of me think he’s deserve it. If a good kick in the butt is what it takes for him to stop being such a menace then I’m not going to interfere. But, seeing how we’re kind of stuck here together doesn’t leave much option for us. Played a couple more mad libs…which by the way, I think I need to invest in a dictionary or something. I swear some of the words he was throwing out had to have been fake. But I didn’t have a way of checking. And he assures me they’re actual words, and after all it’s just a freak’in game, so whatever. So I need a dictionary. And so I can like, read it and out do him and his weird vocabulary. Why does he fail classes if he’s capable of retaining smarts? Rabastan’s a freak. But he’s making progress in the “I’m going to try and not hate the world” attitude. I guess that’s good. Of course I’m curious so see if that makes it past the Hospital Wing doors. I doubt I’m ever going to have quite this much contact with Rabastan Lestrange again in my entire life. And, I’m okay with this. He’s good company if he’s all I’ve got. But whenever someone else is in here he gets all pissy again. It’s almost like if it’s not just us two, he’s reminded we’re usually not friends and he tries to put his big ‘ol show back on. But they leave, he makes a comment about how annoying that was, and suddenly we’re talking again. We’ve talked a lot. About really…varied things. I tried asking him a little about Khai, but he wouldn’t say much. The glares he shoots are enough to get me to shut up anyways. Personally I think he just misses her. Yesterday didn’t exactly look like it went well…and she hasn’t been back. She left crying. I wonder if she and Ludo are really together now? Guess it wouldn’t make sense for them not to be. Weird hook-up if you ask me. Ludo’s great and everything but…huh. Ludo & Khai. Maybe the problem here is Khai’s preference. In what way can Ludovic Bagman and Rabastan Lestrange appeal to the same person? Or maybe that’s the point. Maybe she wanted something opposite. And now I’m analyzing another girl’s taste in men. Fabulous.

All this spare time isn’t healthy for me. I get even more restless. And I go into nit picking other people’s lives for lack of anything better to do. Rabastan’s an interesting specimen, though. He has the potential to be a good person, I think.

Yeah, never thought I’d say that either.