Liabilities

[Marlene McKinnon]

JOURNAL ENTRY 102

[ Well it's love, make it hurt

So Juliette has convinced me that I'm in love with Sirius Black, and all of this shite that has been going through my head is because I'm head over heels in love/jealous with him of him? No, not jealous of him, Merlin. That'd just be weird. I'm jealous of Alice, apparently. That's why I glare daggers at the witch every time I spot her with him. It's not that she's not nice...she's just too nice. Oh, wait, that sounds familiar. Huh. Why do all of my exes LIKE TOO NICE GIRLS?! It's insanity. It's disgusting. We're so much more interesting, we're all for the thrill, but they settle for nice.

Jules suggested I go after Sirius.

I almost died with excitement I'd rather not.

He looks kinda-semi-whatyoucallit happy with her, and while that makes my blood curl, I guess it'll be enough for me--some day.

Just not now.

[Marlene McKinnon]

JOURNAL ENTRY 103

[ Starstruck

Am I really in love, though? Because with Sirius, I don't feel like I did with James. Well, I mean, I get butterflies, and I get this ridiculous grin on my face, but things with James were so...easy, they just fell into place. One day we were friends, and then the next we were hanging out on the common room, him so close to me, our noses touching and lips colliding. And with Sirius it's just been so complicated, drama after drama, things never seem to fall into place no matter how 'forever' we are. Take now, for example. Some sense is finally slapped into me, and what is he doing? Dating Logan. Bitch please.

Maybe it's a sign or something. We're too good to ruin it by dating and--

Oh, who am I kidding?

I love the stupid dolt, and I can't do anything about it except pine from afar and steal some time away from his girlfriend. Which should be me. Why am I scratching that out? It's true. Everybody believes it: It should be me. He should've picked me above everything else, because he told me he loved me, and if only now he'd say it again to me, my answer would be so different now, because I'd just be able to look into his eyes and say "I love you too." Because he said it first, damn it!

[Marlene McKinnon]

JOURNAL ENTRY 104

[ Starstruck

I mean, look at her. She's like, the antithesis of hot. She's...cute. And chippery, and UGH. I CAN'T DO THIS, OKAY?! FUCK TO HELL WITH THEM BOTH.

I'VE GOT A GRADUATION TO GET READY FOR, AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING, I JUST KNOW THAT I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS SITUATION/ARRANGEMENT/WHATEVER.

[Marlene McKinnon]

JOURNAL ENTRY 105

[ Love song

Graduation came and went, and I didn't care, because, guess what? Not only am I out of here for good, but I'm with Sirius.

I'M.WITH.SIRIUS.

I'm with Sirius, and that's all that matters. I don't care about stupid Alice Logan's broken heart, because thanks to her, mine was almost broken today. Fine, call me a bitch, I don't care, because I have Sirius, and he loves me too, and he said it, and honestly, nothing matters. Sorry, have to party, can't have a heart to heart right now, you immobile thing to which I keep talking to. I'll write to you later, with all the gory details of how the Alice-Ditching came to be. Oh, wait, maybe I won't see you later. This is the last page of this thing! Oh, how fricking appropriate. This is amazing, amazing, amazing I tell you!

I love you, Sirius Orion Black.

I always will, I swear it.