they made a statue of us.

[Lucy Murphy]

STOP READING NOW.

This Diary is property of Lucille Emma Murphy, and quite frankly, you do not want to know what goes on in my head. So close this. Now. Yeah, go on. Just shut it. Or else I will find out you've been reading it. And I will hurt you. Yes, that is a threat. I may be small but I pack a punch.

[Lucy Murphy]

september 2, 1977

I am an old, old, old woman. I am a seventh year stduent. As in, I am going to be done with this in a few short months. As in, I am going to be an adult. What the hell, where did my childhood go and can I please get it back? I miss sitting on the floor in my living room in my footie pajamas watching Happy Days and fawning over Fonzie and oh my God, Sonny & Cher! What the fuck ever happened to that shit?! And I miss how my mommy would make me hot cocoa on Christmas Eve and we'd all cuddle up in the living room with the fire and watch the fackin' Ed Sullivan show! Whatever happened to that! Quality television has since disappeared! Well, either that, or quality television season finales just so happen to be the month I get out of school and season premieres the month I begin school - but hey, I guess when I'm graduated I'll finally be able to keep up with my favorite tv shows. Hm. This is very disheartening. I don't think Sonny & Cher is on anymore. And as for Ed Sullivan....well...may that show rest in peace, I'm getting teary just pondering the fact that my seven o'clock slot is VACANT because FUCKING ED SULLIVAN ISN'T ON ANYMORE. Oh my soul, must you weep? My tear ducts are twitching! Ah!

Okay, enough of the melodramatics. And in all seriousness, how is it even possible that I'm a seventh year? Weird, weird, weird. I don't know what I'm going to do without all my babies. And by babies I mean friends who are younger than I. I have far too many of them, I fear, and I'm just going to be tempted to steal them all away from this place and form some sort of commune - Jesus, have I been drinking unawarely? I feel so loopy. I feel like everything I'm scrawling right now is just pure nonsense. Well maybe that's because it is but my brain is all in a hullaballoo and I don't like that! Hmpf. Stupid brain.

Anyway. Summer was...summery. And....good. Haha. ...Very good. Um. ...Will and I had Diary, darling, I have something to tell you. But you must promise never to tell anyone else. Ever. Because...ha. I feel like such a sinner writing this down, I hope Jesus finds it somewhere in that big ol' heart of his to have mercy because Lord knows I don't want to burn in the ninth circle of Hell (actually I think it's technically the second, but ninth is so much more dramatic, no?) I...uh. Will and I. ...Copulated. Fornicated. Had sex. ...........

AH.

I can't believe I just wrote that down-

OKAY, DAMMIT.

WILL AND I HAD SEX.

THERE.

I SAID IT.

WE DID IT.

...DON'T JUDGE ME YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER-

Woah.

Okay.

Deep breaths.

I know you'd never judge me, Diary, darling, you are merely a piece of paper. You have no brain. Nope. You are a tree. Well, were a tree. You were formerly a tree. Yeah. ....So no judging is happening so I'll just - dammit, that was good sex. And I mean really, I clearly have no experience whatsoever in this act of sexing but you know, it was good. All eight times. Uh. ...Ha. Yeah. So. There's that.

...I LOST MY VIRGINITY.

Haha the fuck is up with that.

WELL ANYWAY. India was great. I rode on some elephants and played with some little Indian kids and hung out in some hospital place helping and spent a great deal of my time counting my mosquito bites with Will's little sister (she covered my right side, I got my left) and...uh...yeah. Haha. Lots of other things went down, obviously, but I feel as if I'm writing a novel so I'm going to make my three month experience in India seem a bit more like a three day experience. Really though, it was amazing. What else did I do? I saw Wendy, obviously, and we hung out with the boys. Bri and Arthur got married! My darling Bri got married! It was beautiful. Lily and James also got married. ...I....I get angry whenever I think about that, so we're not even going to go there, my hand is shaking just thinking about it, it was...ugh. Terrible. Sirius and Marlene...I...I don't want to go there right now. But maybe some other time, eh? Ha. Haha. Uh shit.

I should probably go. And be a good student and fall asleep at a decent time. Even though I'm really not in a sleeping mood because I'm all hopped up on pumpkin juice.

Maybe I should find Will, make it number nine!

KIDDING.

GUTEN NACHT, DIARY.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 9, 1977

I wish my life was more eventful.

Nothing has happened this week, I tell you! Nothing! Well, okay, some things. Like me suggesting to William that we run away together, which somehow ended in a tickle fight to end all tickle fights. ...Okay, not really, but seriously, I actually peed a little bit from laughing. Aren't I a classy woman? Well. No. It's really not my fault, I mean, the tickle fight was at a shitty time, as in, it was shortly after lunch, and I had taken it upon myself to see whether or not the House Elves would magic Pumpkin Juice into the pitchers in the Great Hall when they get empty, so I just chugged the whole thing and yeaaah, okay, so, my pants peeing is excusable. And it's not like I COMPLETELY wet myself. It was only a little bit, thank you very much! And yes, I ran to the bathroom immediately. When I came back buggerface decided to tickle me again. ....At that point in time, I conked him in the nose. Aaaand it started bleeding. Good job, Lucy.

........So other than that, nothing has happened.

I've just been really tired. So when everyone else is studying or hanging out I'm like "hahhaah peace out" and I go and take a nap. ...Sometimes with Will - oh, get your mind out of the gutter, we just naaaapped together, clothes on and all! Well. I don't sleep with pants on but - OKAY, NEVERMIND.

...I never fail to incriminate myself. Even on a piece of paper who doesn't have opinions about anything.

I'm just going to shut up now.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 11, 1977

I miss Sirius and Frank.

Also. My boobs hurt.

That is all.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 12, 1977

Random [not really] observance of the day: Kieran is the goobiest of all goobers, and I love him for it.

Billywillybilliamwillam [ahaha what.] and I both made our Quidditch teams. ...Haha. .......................That'll be interesting. That's all I have to say.

...But. Ha. Diary. Sweet, sweet diary, I MADE THE FUCKING QUIDDITCH TEAM. All these years later, I finally made the Quidditch team. Not to have a big head or anything [hahah screw that, I'm going to be big headed], but I really do think if mother would have let me actually try out, I might've been on the team last year, maybe even the year before, but seriously, I'M SO EXCIIIIITED. I've been waiting for this day for such a long time and I'll finally be able to play and wear the robes and made Godric Gryffindor proud and kick ass and aaaaaaaah diary I'M ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM! I jumped up and down and squealed upon finding out and I jumped on Kieran and gave him a big smooch on the cheek and I'M SO EXCITED. FIRST PRACTICE IS TOMORROW. And I'm pretty sure our first match is Slytherin.........those baromarcú faszfej ¹are going DOWN.

Argh. Why do I keep yawning?!!!! I need sugar. Caffine. Something. School is a lot more exhausting that I thought it was previously. I conked out at like, ten last night and I woke up quarter to eight and I'm still tired. It's common knowledge that I love sleeping, but seriously? Is this really necessary? Ugh.

Bed. Bed bed bed. That's all I want right now. Bed.

lucy

¹ cattle-faced dickheads. ....she said it, not me.

[Lucy Murphy]

september 13, 1977

I threw up.

Is that grounds for skipping class?

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 13, 1977

I wish Alice and Frank would just get married and make lots of babies. Ugh. Alice. Why must ye be so difficult.

Oh. In other news. I went to class. I felt nauseous the whole time. This blows. I think I've caught a bug. Damn you, immune system. Daaaaamn you to the fiery depths of hell.

...Haha. I wonder whether or not it really is a fiery inferno in hell.

Quidditch practices have been going well. We're a good team this year, in my humble opinion. Jake is obviously amazing - he got it last year against Ravenclaw, so that's always comforting. Kye, Leena and Matt are all really great - I worry a bit about Leena cause she's so little, but whatever, I guess that's why Chace and I are around. Chace and I are good, and I'm still getting to know him and hopefully soon we'll be able to read each other's minds and work really great together. As for Sev....haha. He's good at catching balls, if you know what I mean.

...BA-DUM CHA!

Boobs still hurt.

Is it nap time yet?

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 14, 1977

So I wrote Sept. 14, because it is technically Sept. 14, only it's like, one am. And I'm sitting here having fun with Wendy and Julian and I figured because those were gossiping about Merlin knows what, I decided to take a break and say hello to my darling diary in hopes that when I come back and read this thing in fifteen years, I will always remember this night as being one of the funniest nights of my life. It was a miracle, I swear, but Wendy and I did it - we carried Julian and all 6 feet and 5 inches of him up the stairs into my dormitory. They're kind of sitting in the middle of the dorm right now...and I have no idea how we're all going to fit on this bed, but we'll make it work. ...Even if that means shoving Julian onto the floor.

I should go. Rex the hippopotamus is asking me to play with him.

Ta.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 14, 1977

I am an idiot.

I am. An idiot.

I just.

...........Fuck.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 14, 1977

Wendy's going to ask Damien to get a test.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 16, 1977

Oh, Diary, I apologize for my incredibly vague previous entries. It was a long day. A really fucking long day.

You know, you'd think I'd have realized it earlier. I'm such a fucking idiot. It's like. I just. How many nieces and nephews do I have? Eight? Oh shit, nine. I forgot Cillian. But seriously. I hang out with pregnant people all the time. And previously pregnant people. I should've realized earlier. But I didn't. And. God. Goddammit. I might be pregnant.

I don't -

No.

No, I'm not going to think about that until I know.

...Which will be soon.

Fuck.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 16, 1977

So, Diary, I will be speaking for two from now on. I am, indeed, carrying a child within my womb. Isn't that just peachy keen.

There were a lot of tears. And then even more tears. And then...shock and disbelief and...I don't know, now I'm just sitting there and all I want to do is sleep and make it all go away. But that's not possible, and I need to deal with this like a big girl. Hopefully I'll be getting some prenatal vitamins soon. And I'm going to owl Maggie. I don't want to tell mom and dad quite yet. They'll just flip. Maggie will probably flip too, but she'll want to help out. Hah. She sarcastically said if I ever got myself into something like this she'd be there and it appears I have. She's got books and stuff lying around.

...Just.

Sigh.

I'm a mother.

...........That is just about the strangest thing. Ever.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 19, 1977

Yeah. I'm still in shock. And I can't stop barfing. I'm not sure if that's because I'm freaking out, of if it's because there's a person growing inside me, or if it's a dreadful combination of the two of them.

Also. Realized I can't play Quidditch anymore. And I'm a little pissed. Hah. Hahahah. HAH. Naturally, the one year mom says I can - you know, whatever. Quidditch doesn't even matter that much anyway. And I am a professional cheer-er, anyway. Always the loudest one in the stands. Atleast I'd like to think I am. ...But no, I probably am. I remember first year, the older kids sitting in front of me kept on telling me to quiet down so I didn't burst their ear drums. ....They ended up moving. I was a bit of a bitch to them, now that I think about it. ...Huh.

So I'm trying not to think about names quite yet, just because...well, it's a bit early. And I guess I still might miscarry - oh, Merlin - but anyway, I need to keep self control. No baby names books for at least another three weeks.

...And I need to tell Will. Wendy's still the only one who knows - ugh, and Olivia, and - HAHA, Alice is going to flip. I hope I don't get kicked out of the Chastity Club. ...I hope Alice doesn't ask me to give a talk, oh God. It's not even that bad, this pregnancy thing, I mean it is what it is and a kid is going to be worth it in the end - what - God, I'm going to have a kid.

Yep.

Definitely still in shock.

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 19, 1977

Fuck. Fuck! What if I can't finish school?! What if I don't get my N.E.W.T.s?! Oh my God I'm going to jump off a bridge, if I don't get my - shit. Shit! ALKJFDLSKJFD!







Ah fuck. I ripped the page with that little scribble - anyway, I - ugh. I guess I'll have to tell Dumbledore, then. And probably McGonagall. ...And probably all my teachers, just because if well. If I start getting lazy I'll need a good excuse. ...Hahah. That sounded bad.

Also, name book it still tempting. And now I'm decorating nurserys in my head. And I keep on getting urges to clean EVERYTHING I see. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me.

OH I KNOW I'M GROWING A HUMAN BEING AND I HAVE RAGING HORMONES. FUCK EVERYTHING.

...(did i really just - AAAGH I HATE BEING SO SERIOUSLY DRAMATIC I'M USED TO BEING SARCASTIC DRAMATIC BUT THIS IS JUST - UGH)

somebody get me a fucking pickle

lucy

[Lucy Murphy]

september 19, 1977

...AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE PICKLES

THERE IS SOMETHING WROOOONNNGGG WITH MEEEEE

lucy