- F U N H O U S E -

[isabelle]

[isabelle]

I dance around this empty house
Tear us down
Throw you out
Screaming down the halls

Spinning all around and now we fall

Pictures framing up the past
Your taunting smirk behind the glass
This museum full of ash

Once a tickle
Now a rash

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down
I'm gonna burn it down

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1,

Fun

Echoes knocking on locked doors
All the laughter from before
I'd rather live out on the street
Than in this haunted memory

I've called the movers
Called the maids
We'll try to exorcise this place
Drag my mattress to the yard

Crumble tumble house of cards

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down

This used to be a funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down down down
I'm gonna burn it down

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1,

Fun

Oh, I'm crawling through the doggy door
My key don't fit my life no more
I'll change the drapes
I'll break the plates
I'll find a new place

Burn this fuck er down

^{Lyrics (c) Pink
Icons by laurasure @ livejournal}

[isabelle]

PAGE 1

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YOUR TAUNTING SMIRK BEHIND THE GLASS

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OCTOBER 9TH

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Wow. Of all the stupid things...

A diary.

Yep, that's right. I don't want a diary. I've never wanted a diary ever since... Actually, I'm not going to say anything. Ha, enjoy that little tidbit, Mrs. Hoff. My lovely psychiatrist. An dsince, by the way, I know you'll be reading over this, I'll just take this opportunity to tell you for the zillionith time: Fuck Off. I don't want a psychiatrist. Almost as much as I don't want a diary. But my father is being a complete idiot and actually paying you money to try and figure me out. Which by the way, you're not going to succeed in. You may have some fancy schmancy degree in the workings of the human mind or all that bullshit but you have no clue what you're dealing with and you seriously need to leave me alone.

But since reading this will probably worry you further and therefore be a hassle to me, I'll go and write some good old-fashioned diary entry. Can't warn you you'll like it but hey, if it's true than you should be happy with it, right?

Alright so my dearest diary - cringe - I guess my first official entry shall begin with a good old-fashioned rant. The topic: (surprise surprise!) my father. That one never does seem to get old does it? (The topic, not my dad. I'm well aware he's aging due to the increasing number of white hairs populating his head. Like I care.) Anyways, it seems that dear old dad has gone crazy. Poor thing needs to shipped off to the loony bin or something. Why, might you might be wondering? Weeell, after about two years of pretty much not caring one bit about what I do with my life (or you know, about me in general) he seems to have realized that I'm no longer the sweet little girl I once was. Observant, isn't he?

Bite me.

Yeah so, being all grown-up and wisely he imediately knew exactly what the best course of action would be... a shrink. Yup, that's right. A psychiatrist, or counsellor or whatever by the name of Mrs. Hoff. She looks just like the weirdest... Well actually, since she's reading this I think I'll leave that hanging. Let her enjoy the suspense and all that. But back to the subject, he sent me an owl last Friday informing me that he had made an appointment for me to meet with a psychiatrist on Saturday and would be sending a note of permission to the Headmaster about me having to leave school on the weekend. WTF? I receive a letter out of the blue informing me that my dad's gone and hired some crazy lady to deal with me.

Gee, thanks.

So I calmly wrote back and informed him that most students really don't leave Hogwarts on weekend and that I had plans with friends and a test to study for - okay, I confess, I made that up - and then politely told him that I also didn't believe a shrink was necessary although I appreciated the level of concern he was demonstrating for my welfare.

Or at least, it was either that or just you know "Fuck off." Hmm. Can't remember which.

So then, after my colorfully worded letter was sent back to him you can imagine my shock when I was headed through the Great Hall on Saturday morning and saw... Yep, that's right. My father. Here! At Hogwarts! Again: WTF? He told me that he was there to take me to my appointment and that permission had already been granted by the Headmaster. Why thank you, Dumbly, clearly you've got my best interests at heart by letting my dad randomly cart me off to see an unknown shrink. I mean, God, you'd think the feeling of having everyone against you and wanting to thwart you at all costs would get old but let me tell you something: it doesn't.

I basically yelled at my dad for about half an hour and then he basically just said that my "bottled up anger" was clearly proof that it was important for me to seee a counsellor as soon as possible. Come on. What the hell is his problem? Ugh. But passing over that, what I'm really wondering is why now? Why all out of the blue did he suddenly wake up to the fact that I'm still alive and he's still a dad but oh yeah I'm not really his same little girl anymore? I tried to ask him but he pretty much ignored me. Though his face did get all tight andd scrunchy-looking.

The meeting with Hoffy was pretty much the exact load of crap that could be expected. I swear, counsellors are bullshit, man. Bullshit. She told me I was "repressing my feelings about what happened to my mother and sibling" and I was like "Yeah gee, that was two years ago, thanks." Then she went on about I shouldn't be afraid to open up to her and how this was a "safe place." I swear, I speant most of time in there laughing my head off. Although that probably didn't help on the whole convincing-her-I'm-fine front. She'll just now think I'm suffering some mental illness. The usual crazy thing.

After babbling on and on to me for about, I dunno, forever, Mrs. Hoff then told me that she had a project for me. I was like "What is this, school? You're not seriously telling me I have homework are you?" She pretty much ignored that and then went on to tell me that she wanted me to keep a diary of my feelings and that she'd be checking up every week to see how I was coping and to make sure that I was writing in it. Aka, she'll be snooping through my "innermost thoughts." You may think you're oh-so-clever, Hoff, but honestly, an eight year old would've caught on to your little act.

Of course, when she told me that I was more than a little annoyed. As if I have time for a stupid diary! I mean I'm writing in it now, I guess, but that's only cause I can't fall asleep and at four o'clock in the morning there isn't much else to do. Well, okay, that's a lie but whatever. I don't need to explain myself to a stupid book. Or a guidance counsellor. Or shrink, or whatever you're called. The point is, I don't like diaries. First off, what if someone else finds them? They can read through everything you've written and then can you say invasion of space? Secondly, I just don't like writing in diaries because it just reminds me of when...

Ha. There's another tidbit for you, Hoffy. Gee, this might be fun after all if I get to leave little juicy bits of almost-information scattered here and there. It'll be a proper old treasure hunt for you, won't it?

Have fun, schweetie,



Oh and I hope you had a grand old time reading about how much I despised you and your stupid therapy.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 2

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AND I WOULD NEVER LET YOU DOWN

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OCTOBER 12TH

Well class was as boring as ever today so what did I decide to do?

Chat it up with none other than Miss Rose Darwin, the ex-but-still-friend, if you will. In other words, we were tight before I got to be so messed up (yeah, I'll admit that much, Hoff, but I still don't need a shrink. All teens are messed up, I just happen to be a bit more than most. With reason.) Anyways, it was an interesting conversation (via notes) to say the very least. She seemed to have no problem with the fact that we hadn't spoken in forever so it was kind of cool to just chat.

You see, Rose is one of those very relaxed kind of people. Or, in this one respect at least. She seems fine with us being friends without having to constantly check in and do stuff, you know? It's like, I guess we're friends but we can just relax and then talk when we feel like it cause we know we're friends even if we haven't spoken in forever. Does that make sense? If not, too bad, I'm not going to try and explain again.

Anyways, we passed so many notes, it was crazy. We must have set some sort of record, honestly. If they have records like that. They should, anyways. But yeah, we spent the whole class passing notes - and about the craziest things. We talked about so much, our notes could be a freaking encyclopedia XP

And ahem, since you're reading through this now, Hoff, I'd just like to take the time to point out that I do have friends I actually hang around with. Rose just happens to be one of the few old friends that are still friends of mine. I can count them all on one hand without using up all my fingers, I'd bet. But I'm so not going to get into that. Hope you had a blast reading through my "personal thoughts."

Insert eyeroll here.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 3

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THEY'RE GOING TO CRASH AND BURN

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OCTOBER 14TH

Well, well, well, it seems that I'm becoming a regular old socialite again, aren't I? And I bet you're so proud - pat me on the back, will ya? The whole initiate-convos-with-old-friends thing seems to have carried on cause today I talked to (well, passed notes with really) none other than Amory Kerr. I repeat, aren't you so proud? We were friends back when I first came to Hogwarts but we hadn't spoken in forever so I figured I might as well

[/color] seize the chance to talk to him again. Because I'm just so opportunistic... And yeah, just the kind of person to make an effort to get what they want...

Okay, the sarcasm ends here.

So, talking to Kerr was very um... different? He started by just randomly snapping at me about how I don't care about anything and have lost faith in everything and blah blah blah. Jeez, I was just trying to make conversation. It got a bit better though, I mean we chatted about normal stuff too... Well, actually not so normal. He told me about a fight he got in... And while your eyes are already popping with the idea of Kerr in fight, let me just embellish the point: it was with Rabastan freaking Lestrange! Seems I'm not the only one who's changed! But yeah, that was about as normal as our conversation got. He just kept trying to get me to talk about everything and trying to tell me how I can still "go back to who I used to be" or whatever. I swear, the kid's unbelievably sweet but also dense if he still sees that as an option. It was like he was the shrink.

I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to him.

Ha. Okay, that was a joke but now it looks a lot harsher than I'd intended it to be. There's my crude sense of humor for ya. Anyways, it was kind of tense between us. I mean he kept going on about how I'd hurt him. Like what the fuck, seriously? I cannot believe that he could be so self-focused? I lose my entire family pretty much and start ignoring him and he's the one that gets to be hurt? Please. But I also admitted something to him that, well, I dunno... I told him that I'd meant to hurt him - hurt everyone else - so that they could know how I felt to the smallest degree. So that I wouldn't be the only one hurting.

It's very messed up, I know. Like 'thing to talk to shrink about messed up.' Better yet, she'll just read it in my diary. Or Not.

On second thought, I don't think I want you reading over all of that. My day was unfuckingbelivably normal and average. Happy? In other words, ready to piss off? The whole shrink thing is getting old.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 4

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YEAH, YOU SLITHER AWAY LIKE THE SNAKE THAT YOU ARE

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OCTOBER 17TH

My father is an asshole.

But that's old news.

He decided that I need to go see you again, dear shrinky. And that is something horrid enough for me to be utteryl pissed at him. This time he's went ahead and told the fucking headmaster. So that I won't go and be all melodramatic. He said I had teenage antics or something. Yeah. This is all just me suffering through normal teenagehood. Ha. If it was, why the hell would he be paying you?

Fortunately enough, that's not the most interesting part of my day. Because while I was sitting up in the owlery all pissed at "daddy" - who I will now be calling Heath, I think - who should come up and run into me but Regulus Black, himself. No joke. Now I think it's safe to say that about 80 percent of the people at this school are boring idiots. As unfortunate as that is, it only serves to make the interesting ones more interesting. Enter Regulus Black. By virtue of his last name, he would have snagged my interest. Not because I care that he's a Black - his family dynamics just happen to interest me. Even ignoring that though, I'd say he's a pretty interesting fellow.

He thought I was some looney at first - in his defense I was sitting on the ground laughing after having just broken a window. But that's another story. And what that isn't nearly as interesting-to-a-shrink as you think. I was angry. I threw something. We all do it. The laughing was because I thought of a joke. Ha.

Anyways, I took this chance to talk to him and might have said a few things that any normal person would not have had to gall to say to Regulus Black. Oh, I'm just so daring. Whoop dee doo. Since sarcasm doesn't always translate through paper, I'll point out to you that that was it. The whole daring part. Although it's not necessarily a lie.

So we talked, and I have to say it was fun talking to someone with half a brain for a change. It's such a rare occurrence around here. Witty banter is just so refreshing.

Oh, and just to add?

I called Regulus Black a coward.

Ha. I must admit, he didn't seem all too fond of that description, really. But it was worth it, just... Priceless, really.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 5

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IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID

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OCTOBER 18TH

Met some new chick.

Well, not really "met". She passed a note to me in class asking what we were learning and stuff. She's new to the school and whatever. Shocking even myself, I was actually able to give her a halfway decent explanation of what we'd covered in the class so far, what we doing, blah blah blah. Apparently she was at the same place in the class or something so all's good. Then we just chatted for a bit.

Oh yeah, in French.

She's from France - her name's Jolie, by the way. She didn't want to move here but she was forced to by her step-dad. She doesn't like him. Already, we have something in common.

I told her about my mom and Keegan. Not only because I seemed to just be talking more in French for some reason - it seemed easier to spill things, weirdly enough, maybe cause I don't know it as well as English so there's not as many words for me to use? - but also just because she'd find out eventually if she ever asked anyone about me and I'd prefer that she hear it from me and not just get some lopsided version of what happened followed by an in depth analysis of psycho-girl.

Happy, Hoffy? I'm making friends.

Now would be another great time to insert one of those eye rolls.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 6

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GRAVITATED TOWARDS A TASTE

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OCTOBER 21ST

Bumped into the new chick.

In other words, got to actually talk to her. I was skipping class on a spare - during which we're allowed to do whatever we want, Hoffy - and I was just sitting in the courtyard smoking um, reading. Well, deciding whether or not to start reading La belle et le bête again cause I used to love it and all. And cause, as mentioned in the previous entry - I know French. And kinda like it, I guess.

My mom taught me. And that was a book she really liked - well sort of - and then I read it and loved it when I was little. Actually, come to think of it, if you read this, you'll start jumping to all kinds of conclusions about sentimental crap with my mom so

Never mind.

But anyway, yeah, Jolie came by, seeming weirdly happy to see me considering we barely know each other. Who knows, maybe it's the new kid syndrome. Although I feel kind of bad for her if I'm the nicest person she's met. Then again, I was nice to her when we first "met" so that's really the only impression she could have made on me. It's not as if she can talk to anyone else - she doesn't speak the language.

Not that I'm normally some horrible person. Don't want to end up in extra sessions or anything. It's just that there are a lot of super happy, optimistic, outgoing, friendly people at Hogwarts who'd be happy to be her welcome wagon. I'm not one of those people. But I guess none of them speak French.

Anyways, it was sort of nice to chat. She seems pretty nice. Alright.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 7

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GIRLS CAN BE SO MEAN

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OCTOBER 22ND

What is it with me and notes these days? Apparently not only to I write them to old friends, get random ones in other languages, but I also get the absolute pleasure of getting one chucked at me by an old friend. Ha. It was fine when I decided to talk to Rose or Amory but now Emmeline - sorry Emme - is talking to me again?

Well in her defense, I don't think it was meant for me in particular. But screw that, I don't care about defending her.

Because Emmeline Vance is a bitch.

Yup. Who saw that one coming? But she is. I was getting all pissed at her for going on about her stupid muggle mood ring - she's idiot enough to actually think the filthy trinkets work - and she goes and tells me I'm just being bitter cause my mom and Keegan died.

WHAT THE FUCK?

First off, that is no where near true: even if they hadn't died, she'd still be an idiot. And secondly, if it was true - you don't SAY things like that. What a freaking retard. I told her I didn't know she was a bitch and she just told me there were a lot of mean girls at Hogwarts.

No shit. I think I know that, bitch. I just didn't know that you were one of them. I mean we used to be friends! When I was sweet and naive and innocent. And now she's a bitch.

Look how we've all grown up.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 8

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TEARS ARE FORMING IN YOUR EYES

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OCTOBER 24TH

Amycus Carrow will die a slow and painful death.

No, he didn't say anything to me, I didn't run into him or anything of the sort. Kind of impossible now that he's left. This would be normally cause for celebration or something except that, oh yeah, he left a heartbroken Rose behind.

Asshole.

If only calling him that would somehow fix things.

Asshole asshole asshole.

Yep. He just left without a word to Rose. Who he was kind of dating - not sure if I mentioned that before? But yeah, Rose had a crush on him for a year, which she informed me of when we had our little looong note conversation. And then they started kind of dating? And then he left.

Again, asshole. Or, to expand my vocabulary: jerk.

I was just down at the pitch, thinking about practicing flying before me and Rose went out so I wouldn't look like a complete idiot and then I saw her. And I went over. And then I saw that she looked absolutely miserable. Keep in mind, this is Rose Darwin we're talking about. Queen of the Smiley Committee. Looking miserable.

So I asked her what was wrong, she told me, blah blah blah. Now, see, I'm not so great at comforting people. It's just not something I do. Rose is the kind of person who comforts people. Only in this situation, she couldn't do that because she was the one in need of comforting. Yeah. So I started off just saying how sorry I was, how much this sucked, how much Amycus didn't deserve her the usual.

And then I kind of went for a tough love approach.

Basically told her to get over him, he was a jerk, she shouldn't be doing this to herself, she needed to stop making excuses - yeah she was saying maybe he was forced to leave, couldn't write, was going to write, all that stuff - because it would just be worse when she had to deal with the fact that it wasn't true. If something like that did happen - which I sincerely doubt - then great, she can be all happy and surprised and whatever but she shouldn't get her hopes up, you know?

And I know I was harsh but I also did say some good things. I said that it was his loss and that someone else better would come along because Rose is the kind of girl that guys fall in love with. And I meant it.

It worked.

On Rose, I mean. She said it was exactly what she wanted to hear. I was shocked. But not as much as I might have been because oh yeah -

She hugged me.

And yes, it was Rose so I mean it was fine - she does seem to be the exception to everything - but still, I am not a huggy kind of person. Not in a weird shrink-wants-to-talk-to-you-about-it way but just in a personal space way.

But I think she was definitely feeling better after cause we started talking about these crazy, silly things. Made me realize how much I've missed having her as a friend. Then we Accioed over some tennis balls and played Quidditch-y games. All in all, the night turned out pretty well.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 9

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WELL I'M NOT THE TYPE THAT GETS VOTED MOST LIKELY
TO BE VICTIMIZED BY THESE OLD BUTTERFLIES

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OCTOBER 26TH

So I had this test today and spent last night actually studying for it. Because you know, my dad's been trying to get involved in everything lately and I figured if I could show him how completely fine I am then maybe he'd shut up about the whole shrink thing. No offense, Hoff. Well, actually yes offense. But moving on. I ended up sleeping in and missed the first part and then I just figured that I probably shouldn't go. I mean, I'm not going to change just for the sake of my dad! That's what this whole thing is about. He can just deal with it. I don't give a shit about what he thinks anymore.

Anyways, I headed out and went down to the lake just to think. I just wanted to be alone, get away from everyone. Then guess who showed up? And I don't mean that in a bad way because it was a good surprise, honestly. Drake showed up. Probably one of the only people I would have really been in the mood to talk to. I sort of might have tackled him just a little bit at first but he caught me so all was well. It was weird, cause I'm normally not a touchy sort of person but I guess you could say that Drake brings out my more exuberant side.

Anyways, when I'd first gotten to the lake, I'd had a sort of an idea... Which I then brought up later with Drake and guess what? We went swimming! In the lake! The freaking cold lake! It was so much fun, really, I just felt so happy, you know? He even walked me back to the Hufflepuff common room after.

And I know I totally don't deserve a friend like him but I'm glad to have him all the same. You know, he's the only friend that I wasn't able to push away after what happened. The only one that I never stopped being friends with. I used to have a crush on him, funnily enough. And I think he might have liked me too. But everything's complicated now. Besides, I'm pretty sure that he just sees me like a little sister. Especially since his own little sister is my age. But it's not like I have a problem with that or anything.

We're just friends.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 10

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YOU GOT MY PERMISSION TO BREAK THE TRADITION

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OCTOBER 29TH

I read the damn book again.

I have no idea why.

It was stupid.

I have no idea why I used to like it.

Or why mom did

Ugh.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 11

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DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT'S RIGHT OR WRONG
OR WRONG OR RIGHT

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NOVEMBER 1ST

So guess who I skipped class with today? Guess! Nah, don't. Because you never would, never in like a billion years. I'm not sure who exactly I mean by "you" - the diary or the shrink? Neither one is really the mark of a sane person. Talking to inanimate objects kinda usually lands you in the psycho ward and talking to a shrink... Well, if you're sane then you wouldn't have one. Oh, look at it! Looks like I'd don't need you after all, Hoffy. Tata! But by the way, I'd also like to clear up the whole issue of skipping before going on and finishing the little guess-who game. Don't get all worked up about it, everyone does it. It's normal. Which means that I, by default, am normal. Aren't shrinks supposed to help their patients be normal again? Lovely job! Just pat yourself on the back for me, kay? Guess that's it then, no? Toodleloo, Hoffy.

I'd just like to point out, in case you're stupid enough to think I was ever actually praising you, that a lot of the above paragraph was sarcasm. Like... pretty much the whole thing? Something like that anyway.

But back to skipping class. Guess who I spent the time with instead? Hmm? Oh, well, what about... AMORYSOCRATESKERR. No kidding. AmoryfuckingKerr skipped class with me. The same Kerr that recently punched Lestrange in the face. I have no clue what's going with him but I think I like it. Looks like he's growing up too, no? Nice. At the same time, with his lovely new grown spine, how the hell can he get away with complaining that I've changed? It's called growing up, thank you very much.

We all do it, this isn't bloody Neverland.

And yes that was a Peter Pan reference. Get over it.

The funniest thing about today, getting back to that, was that I didn't even mean to invite Kerr to go skip with me. I chucked the note at some other random girl and Somehow he ended up with it and said yes. Then we just devised such a sneaky little plan and escaped from the hellhole they call a classroom.

Then we met up in the courtyard. It was pretty nice actually, even if for a second there I wasn't sure if he would show. But he did and we just sat there on the grassy part and talked and caught up and I mean it was weird because I'm not really used to being friends with him but it's also familiar so... Gah, I don't know. I had a good time. Happy?

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[isabelle]

PAGE 12

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STARTING OVER NEW

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NOVEMBER 5TH

So. I never really made any New Year's resolutions last year or the year before or the year before or... Yeah, it's never been a big thing of mine. I always figured it was stupid that people would decide to make this list of all these ways they'd become a better person just because it was New Year's. Like um, if you want to be a better person, how bout you just do all those things when you think of them until saving them until you can tell them when all your friends are there and look like such an amazing person? So maybe my view of the whole thing wasn't always so cynical. But I've had a bit of problem with it. Which is why I've decided to make up my own counter-system. I'm just gonna make up some resolutions. Even though it's not New Year's Eve. What a rebel, no?

To counter the actual system even more...

I'll try and actually do what I write.

The nerve.

So here's my list, off the top of my head.

• Stop biting my nails. Or at least, bite them less.
  
• Remember to where a sweater when I go outside.
  (Protecting the health and all that - there is a reason)
  
• Wake up earlier.
  
• Less sarcasm Ha! I'm trying to make them reasonable.
  
• Be nice to friends.
  

So that would be... Rose? I guess, Amory? Drake? Three friends. Lucky me. Oh well, don't want an overload of niceness, right? Girl's got a reputation to uphold.

Ha.

Good thing I did away with the fourth resolution.

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[isabelle]

PAGE 13

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SOMETIMES, I WANT TO GET AWAY SOME PLACE
BUT I DON'T WANNA STAY TOO LONG

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NOVEMBER 7TH

So.

Shrink visit number two was today. It was supposed to be last week but it got bumped up for some stupid reason. Did I mention that? Doubt it. No reason for telling my shrink that the lesson got bumped, duh. I'm making no sense, am I? I'm just a bit... dazed, I supposed? The session was rather weird. I completely ignored my father when he came to get me, didn't say a single word. Then I went into the room, sat down. Mrs. Hoff came in, sat down. She said hello and I kind of nodded and then... Well, I'll just give a summary:

Hoff: So. How've you been, Isabelle?
Me: Meh.
H: Anything interesting happening at school?
M: - look at her like she's crazy - Um. no.
H: Oh, that's too bad. Are you involved in any activities at school.
M: No. - roll my eyes, I think -
H: Are you thinking of joining anything?
M: No.
H: You don't seem to be a very talkative mood today, Isabelle.
M: - smirk - No.
H: Is anything wrong?
M: No.
H: For real, Isabelle. You can talk to me.
M: Why? Because you're a shrink?
H: Because whatever you say to me won't leave this room.
M: Uh huh.
H: I'm serious, Isabelle. But moving on, can I see the diary I instructed you to write in? Have you been writing in it like I asked?
M: Ugh, yes. Here. - hand over diary -
H: - looks in diary - Very good, very good. I'm pleased, actually. You're showing progress.
M: - snorts -
H: What's wrong?
M: Nothing but uh... aren't you paid to say that?
H: Not at all. The longer you have to stay the more I get paid. I wouldn't pretend you're doing better than you are. - laughs-
M: - stunned to silence by the fact that Hoff made a joke -
H: I'll need to skim through this to make sure you're doing okay.
M: - rolls eyes - Of course.

Then she goes and reads through the whole thing. It was funny, she made these weird little pinched expressions a lot, probably when she read my complaints about her and the insults and all that. I don't know, and I really don't care.

H: - when she's finished - Here you go. - hands back - You know, I really liked your idea about resolutions. I think you should continue doing that, keeping a nice little list of things you want to improve in your life.
M: Ugh, whatever. So, am I good now?
H: Well I'd like to see you again still, maybe next time can be in a week or two. It'll be nice having someone you can talk to, believe me. You're doing good but of course, there's still the underlying issues we have to deal with.
M: - glare - What is that supposed to mean?
H: Well, there are reasons you're here, Isabelle. You have to keep coming until they're dealt with.
M: What reasons?
H: You know... Sometimes when someone experiences trauma-
M: Oh fuck off. -storms out -

I ran out and took the Knight Bus back to Hogwarts without seeing my dad. It was ridiculous. I mean, ugh, I don't know what to do. She's just so... weird. And then now I can't think straight about anything because, I don't know why, I'm just so jumpy and I don't get it.

Damn it, I hate her.

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