,,l o s t in {translation}

[olivia]

mood theme credit!

[olivia]

^frustrated

I. Am. Such. An...ugh. Idiot. Jerk. Butt head. Meanie pants. I'm a terrible person, not to mention a terrible friend. Like, seriously, it's been what two years? TWO. WHOLE. YEARS? Well, maybe not exactly that much but, ugh, come on. Since fourth year? Really, Olivia? You'd think I'd be over him by now, but nooo. And the worst thing is that I'm actually starting a diary because of him. Trust me, that's nothing small. I'm awful at keeping diaries, always have been, always will probably, but I feel like if I don't write about it I'll just explode. Or implode. Whichever. And that won't be a pretty site, believe me. Ugh, God, this is all his fault.

Darn you, Pierre Scham, for being so damn lovable.

Like seriously, how on Earth did Danielle go and get a freakin' boyfriend so quickly after he broke up with her? I mean, really. And I still feel horrible about having feelings for him when the two of them were together. I mean, holy shiz, I was jealous of my best friend. How much more of a terrible friend can you get? I mean, seriously. It sometimes got to the point where I had to make an excuse to leave if they got lovey-dovey around me. Seriously, I should have been happy for them, because my two very good friends were happy, but I wasn't.

See? Horrible person, I am.

Oh and how does Olivia Destiny Thompson deal with it? Why, she gets a boyfriend, of course. Niko Fletcher. Gryffindor Beater. Overall, a great guy. Like seriously. And what did I do? Used him, practically, just to get over Pierre-frickin'-Scham. And you know what? It didn't work!! I mean, I shouldn't have expected it to work, but I did!! I mean, I thought if I had a boyfriend it would get my mind off him but apparently not. I mean, if I hadn't already been in love with had a very, very big, gigantic crush on Pierre, I probably would have fallen for Niko, but as it is...I dunno, I guess there was just no...chemistry? Spark? Gaaaah, I dunno. But, thankfully, he saw it too because it was a mutual break up, thank God. We're still good friends -thank God to that too since we're both on the Quidditch team so that would have just been really bad if we were on awkward/bad terms or something.

Thank goodness for small favours. Apparently, the Gods don't hate me that much.

Now if only Cupid would kindly point his arrows away from me, life would be just lovely.

I mean, sure they're not together anymore and Danielle has moved on and everything, but now? Now I'm still in an awful position. Let's see the basics here:

• Pierre is best friends with Dominic, my big brother.
  
• I've been hanging around with them ever since I was a titchy little first year and they were second years.
  
• I've been in love with him since fourth year.
  
• I'm his ex's best friend

What does that all add up to? Either Pierre thinks of me as "best-friend's-little-sis" or "ex's-best-friend". Or both.

GREAT JUST GREAT.

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[olivia]

^smitten

So, it was Pierre's birthday today.

I don't know why that's important. It's not. Not really. I mean, it just means he's eighteen. Wow, that means he's two years older than me, but then in February it'll be back to a year and -- why does that matter again? It doesn't, really. Bah, I'm so random, aren't I? Okay, back to the point...wait, did I have a point to begin with? Oh, whatever!

Annnnywaaaaaaaaaaaay. As I was saying before(), it was his birthday and...I wanted to get him a present. I didn't of course. I mean, we don't know each other that well, after all, so I thought it might be weird if I, you know, get him a present...you know? Holy shiz, I'm addressing a journal again. Note to self: stop doing that!! Okay, anyway, I did send him an owl with "happy birthday" on midnight so that I was technically the first person to wish him a happy birthday. Am I cool or what? Hah, insert eye-roll here. I'm sure that makes me super special.

Blah, I gotta stop being so sarcastic.

I've decided to make a to-do list for myself that I am determined to complete during the new year, '77 since the new years is fast approaching! I will probably update it every now and then. And there it is:

Things to do during 1977:

• Confess my feelings for Pierre
  
• Get over Pierre (Like, seriously, it's been long enough!)
  
• Get a boyfriend(?) (I don't particularly like being alone, plus having a boyfriend might help with that first one)
  
• Learn how to make brownies (Then I can have an endless supply of them whenever I want!)
  
• Figure out a way to smuggle Lady into Hogwarts with Lila's help. (I miss my little puppy )
  
• Update my stash of sweets (seriously, it's almost done! I can't have that!)
  
• Concentrate on Potions more often (I don't want to flunk!! My aunt and grandmother will kill me -not to mention so would Lila and Dom!!)
  
• Work on sign language (I'm getting rusty, but who on Earth am I supposed to practice with? Hmm, maybe if I ask Jacob...?)

That's all I got 'till now, we'll see what else I can come up with.

I highly doubt I'll be able to do the first one anytime soon though, unfortunately. I'm completely and utterly smitten with him. Like, I saw him today (with Bella Swan, I think) and I swear there was the whole butterflies-in-the-stomach thing, even though I highly doubt he even saw me. Heck, not even butterflies, more like bats or something, I dunno. Well, whatever.

Happy Birthday Pierre Scham.

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[olivia]

^gloomy

I talked to Pierre today.

It had been the first time in quite some time and, yeah, I was the one to initiate the conversation of course. I think he still sees me as the little sister. Did I ever mention how much that absolutely stinks before? I have? Well, I'm going to say it again: IT SUCKS. And you know what sucks even more?

The fact that we spent most of the time talking about Danielle.

Yup, the boy is still hung over Dani. Can't say I blame him, I mean I guess she's not someone you get over easily, right? I bet she was just his type too -tall, blonde, leggy. Everything I'm not? Gaaaah, what am I doing?! This is Danielle! My best friend! And I'm jealous of her! There is something seriously wrong with me. Like, really, really, really wrong with me. I need to get my head examined or something! Or I just need to get rid of all these stupid thoughts and feelings that are associated with a certain seventh year Gryffindor named Pierre Scham. If only I could!! Ugh, why did he have to be my brother's best friend and my best friend's ex? Why couldn't he be just random guy? Why does he have to keep emphasising the fact that he's still pining over my best friend even though it's been one whole friggin' year

Life is SO not fair, I swear.

Cupid? You've done a TERRIBLE job this time. Either that or you hate me. Why do you hate me? Is it because I started dating late, is that it? Because you know that's totally Dom's fault, and-

Oh. My. God. I'm talking to something that probably doesn't exist.

Off to St. Mungo's for me! Woopeedeedoo!

Pierre, I hope you're happy. You're driving me absolutely bonkers, I swear.

And why does he have to be so bloody...ugh...likable?? Like, seriously, I'm pretty sure he came up with a dozen of different little nicknames to call me (not that I'm special or anything, he does that for everyone unfortunately. Hmm, let's see, there was:

• Livy
  
• Livy love
  
• Honey/Hon
  
• Little Olive (he added a my once, I think, but that doesn't mean anything...)
  
• Just plain 'Olive' -not sure if I like being named after food that's tiny and green and doesn't taste that great...
  
• Darling
  
• Sugar
  
• Sweetheart
  
• Sugarcube

And yes, because I'm totally lame, I went through all the notes and wrote them out. And yes, I kept every single note. His writing sucks, but I don't mind. God, I am such a sap. Seriously. Just...ugh. This is not the way to get over him! Let's see, thinking of ways to get over him...he...he...umm...

...he insulted Pooky! Well...sort-of. He called him a thing! Pooky isn't just a...a thing! He's practically a human being! Only he can't, you know, talk or move or else that would be really creepy. And he's not, you know, alive, because that would be really, really creepy too. So that's...um...really....annoying.

Only, it's not. Darn it. STUPID Pierre Scham with his STUPID pretty blue eyes and his STUPID cute nicknames and his STUPID...ugh...okay that's not working either.

Stupid Olivia Thompson.

God, this is depressing.

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[olivia]

^excited

Yay, Christmas is coming soon, and that means, Christmas break! I can't wait until this Christmas break, I'm getting a little rusty with my sign language and I want to go back to it before I completely forget. Alex would be so disappointed if I forget, and I can't do that. Dom doesn't want to practice with me since he sucks at it -his words, not mine, although in my opinion, he does pretty much suck at it- so I dunno who else to ask. The only person I can think of that would actually know sign language is Jacob Edwards, and I dunno if I can exactly go up to him and go "Hey, Jacob, I need to practice sign language, can I practice with you?" I mean, okay, so we're team mates and we're friends and all, but it'll just be so random, you know? I mean, I'm not even sure he knows that I know how to sign. I don't exactly go around telling people about it. In fact, not many people know about Alex anyway. Lila and Dom's strict orders, and I kinda agree -I mean, I'm not ashamed of him, that's not it at all, it's just...people can be cruel, you know? Most hate things that are different from themselves, and even magic folk, who are supposedly open-minded, just don't like to accept people like Alex. Once again, it's not all people. Mostly kids and stuff.

Danielle knows, though. Pierre doesn't.

Ugh, broke one of my resolutions. Did I even make it a resolution? No? Well, okay, I'll make it now:

• I will stop writing about Pierre Scham in my diary.

It's going to be one of the ways that I'll get over him...apparently. I dunno, it's not exactly working. Nothing is working. See, if I was in another house or something, that might make things easier, but as it is the fact that we're both in Gryffindor, coupled with the fact that he's Dominic's best friend, just makes it all the harder to avoid him and thusly that much harder to get over him.

Gah, breaking the resolution again. Okay, from now on, this diary will be Pierre Scham-free.

If only I could actually go through with that.

Well, anyhow, I can't waaait until I can do some Christmas shopping. I have no idea what to get anyone. No idea at all!

Okay, I'm going to allow myself just one mentioning of Pierre this time: do I get him anything??? And if so, what on Earth am I supposed to get him???

Ehh, time for some sugar so that I can brainstorm.

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[olivia]

^homesick

Dominic showed me a letter that morning adressed to the both of us from my aunt, telling us that we'd have to stay in Hogwarts for Christmas because she and grandma have to go see her aunt, who's very ill, and they're taking Alex with them and we won't be able to come. This is so depressing. I was really looking forward togoing home this Christmas. I told Danielle, and I think she's secretly pleased because she's staying at Hogwarts too this Christmas, so with me there she won't be alone. She spent the whole day trying to cheer me up, mostly by stuffing sweets into my hands, but now I'm in the "sugar low" phase, so I'm pretty much even more depressed. God, what am I going to do here all Christmas? I've never spent a Christmas away from my family.

In no particular order:

I miss Alex.
I miss Lila.
I miss Aunti Lena.
I miss Grandma Lara.
I miss Lady.
I miss our home.
I want to go back home : (

Too depressed to write anything else. More later.

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[olivia]

^creative

Seriously, who needs potions? I mean, really. I've been sitting in this class for the better part of half an hour and I'm seconds away from bashing my head against the desk repeatedly if only to knock myself unconscious because then I can escape the torture that is this potions lesson. The fact that I'm writing in my diary to entertain myself should show just how desperate I am. I wish I could pass a note to the person sitting next to me, but he looks pretty engrossed into whatever the teacher is saying and I think he'd probably snap at me for interrupting his concentration or whatever. Seriously? I just have the worst luck ever, apparently. Still, writing in my diary is better than what I was doing before, which is drawing this all over my parchment:

Yeaaaah, I broke my resolution again. I think that's the hardest one, after the getting over him one that is. Which is why I'm getting rid of it, because I hate not sticking to resolutions and I don't think they're any way I'll be sticking to this one. Ugh, I'm seriously pathetic. I can't believe I'm acting like those stupid girls who draw stupid hearts all over their books and everything. I tore up the parchment, of course. I can't let anyone see that. Besides, I'm not exactly the best drawer or whatever. Even my heart looks weird and crooked, and the lines of the arrows aren't straight and...ugh, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.

I'm happy to report that I'm back to my happier self again, at least. I'm still upset that I won't be able to spend Christmas break with my family, but hey I still have Dom. And I think Pierre is staying too? Not that it matters. Danielle will be staying, so I'll have my best friend to keep me occupied too. So really it shouldn't be so bad, right? Plus, someone told me that Hogwarts is always decorated beautifully during Christmas and everything, so that should be nice. And-

Oh crap the professor is looking my way. Oh I think he saw me not taking notes. Oh geez, he's coming over. More later!

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[olivia]

^silly

I met this Slytherin today. Through notes, that is. She wasn't particularly nice, but she wasn't completely horrible, at least. Suffice it to say that she was a distraction from potions, at the very least. Of course, if I keep finding distractions from potions I might just end up failing it, and then Aunti Lena will flay me alive, with the help of Lila. They're really all for the whole "study your butt off and get the best marks!" even though I'm not sure I have the mental capacity to be on the top or whatever. Sure, I'm smart enough, I guess, but I don't have any interest on getting top marks anyhow. It's not like I want to become a Healer or anything. Huh, now that I think about it, I have no idea what I want to be.

Should I be worried?

Oh well, that's all going to be in the future...I mean, I still have this year and then next year. Lila works in the Ministry, and Dom wants to be a Healer...I just don't know what I want to be yet. Hey, maybe I'll be a HOM teacher or something. Or...a historian. Or one of those adventurers! Like a...a tomb raider or...or...hey, maybe I could be an archaeologist! Are there any wizarding archaeologists? Must be. See, I do have some sort of idea of where I'm heading, HAH!

Not so worried now, admittedly.

Besides, I still have plenty of time ahead of me.

...Right?

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[olivia]

^hyper

FIVE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!! YAY!!

Did I ever mention how much I loooooove Christmas? I didn't? I did? Well, whatever, I absolutely ADORE Christmas. And plus, it's SNOWING. It's freezing cold, yes, but oh my gosh the castle looks beautiful. And there's a Hogsmeade trip and everything and I'll finally be able to get those presents. I still haven't decided what I'm going to get for everyone. It'll come to me eventually, though. I'm a pretty good gift-giver, according to my friends, mostly because I know what they want. Some of them aren't exactly subtle about it, though. I have a strict budget, though. Nothing too overly expensive. Aaaand, I won't be able to update my stock since all the pocket money I have will go on Christmas gifts. I'm just going to have to count on my friends to get me candy and all as my presents. Psht, forget things like jewelery, I need my sugar, darn it. Even though Dom doesn't seem to agree with that, but what does he know? I always feel just fine. Like, right now, I'm on this lovely sugar high. I mean, it's going to dwindle soon, but until then I feel great.

As a matter of fact, I'm too restless to stay sitting here on my bed for too long. I think I'm going to go outside for some fresh air. It's not snowing anymore, and there's this fresh blanket of snow and everything. Have I mentioned how pretty it all looks? I did? Oh, I think I did. Well, anyway, I'll say it again. It's so beauuuuuutiful! So lovely and enchanting and Hogsmeade is going to look something right out of a Christmas card with all it's little shops with their roof's caked in snow and, oh I can't wait until the Hogsmeade trip!

The best thing that could happen? Is if me and Dom could somehow be able to go back home for Christmas. That's all I really want for Christmas...even more than the sweets, which is saying something, believe me. Siiigh. Well, anyway, I'm off for some cold, fresh air! That should serve to cool me off after the little happy dance I did when I realised that Christmas is in less than a week. And yes, I did sing into a hairbrush too. In my defense, no one was around in the dormitory. And the girls are used to my random bursts into song and dancing anyway, so why should I worry about that?

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[olivia]

^blah

THREE DAYS AND COUNTING YAAAAY!!

Everyone's already left or leaving for Christmas break, though. Quite a few people stayed this year, so I guess that's good, but still. I really, really wish I could go home for Christmas. Not that there would be anyone there since they're all at my Great Aunt's house, but still. I wish I could have gone to her house, but Aunt Lena said it was better if we stay here. She says that her Aunt's getting a bit better, though, so that's good at least. And I actually got a letter from Alex. Yup, that's right. He wrote to me. Well...sort of. It was with a lot of help from my Aunt, obviously, since he can't write by himself and his writing isn't that great, but still. He attempted to write. For me. I got the letter yesterday and started blubbering like an idiot as soon as I received it.

Annnd, here it is:

Seriously, isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever seen?! I want to cry again just looking at it. I miss him so much. And Lila wrote to me, too. Her job is stressing her out, which is why she hasn't written in a while. She asked me about Pierre...yeah, she knows. She's the only person I told. Even Dom doesn't know -he's one of the last people I'll ever tell, him and Pierre and Danielle. They can never know. Anyway, she asked me how things were "going with him" -in other words, had I told him yet? I wrote her back and told her that, no, I haven't told him yet, and I'm not planning on it. Because I'm not. See my resolutions? I'm sticking to them. Seriously. After the new year, there will be nooooo mooooore thinking of/liking Pierre.

Honestly!

Good luck with that, Olivia Thompson.

Ehhhh, anywaaay. Christmas Eve in two days! And then FINALLY Christmas!! I soooo can't wait!! I got presents and everything (went shopping yesterday). And I got Pierre a present, because it would be crappy of me not to since he's my friend. Basically, I just got him a singing card (I thought it was funny, I just hope he'll appreciate the humor ) and four boxes of Bertie Bott's Beans. Yup, four. Two are the one's I "owe" him, the other two are the actual present, haha. I wasn't sure what else I could get him without it seeming to personal or whatever, so sweets are the safest bet, right? He'll probably appreciate them. I got Danielle this beautiful, intricate jewelery box because I know for a fact that her other one broke and she's constantly losing her things, so it seemed like the perfect gift. For Dom, a sweater because the idiot doesn't seem to realise that when it's cold you're supposed to wear winter clothes. I got Alex a teddy bear and a children's fairty tale book - I'm still trying to teach him how to read, and I'm determined to prove the doctors wrong -after all, they said he wouldn't be able to write, and, see, he wrote me a letter! I got a snow globe for Lila because she loves that sort of stuff, knitted a scarf for my grandmother since she appreciates those kind of things (even though I messed up in some parts, I just hope she doesn't notice!) and, finally, I got my Aunt this beautiful necklace that I simply couldn't resist buying for her. She's done so much for all of us (my siblings and I), it's the least I can do -even though I was practically broke afterwards so that I had to get the rest of my friends simple things, like sweets and such, but it's worth it! My family and close friends deserve the best, after all.

The updating-my-sweets-stash resolution will have to wait longer than anticipated, though. Oh well! I'm sure Dom will be happy, haha.

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[olivia]

^shocked

I can't believe this. I just...I can't believe this. HOW CAN SHE DO THIS TO ME?? I mean, she doesn't really know WHAT she's doing to me, but...but...but...HOW COULD SHE??? I can't do this, I really, really, really, really can't do this. I mean, how can I tell him?!!? I can't, I just can't! And she convinced me in the most UNBELIEVABLE way. Bribery with brownies, Danielle? Really? Ooooh, that was low. She knows (she KNOWS) that I can't say no when brownies are involved and, oh my God, they were such heavenly brownies, but - that's not the point. The point is, she TRICKED me. Sort-of. Okay, okay, so she only bribed me, but STILL. She exploited my weekness.

Who knew Danielle Olivier had an evil side?

Seriously, though, I can't do it. How can I? How can I tell the person that I love, and have been in love with for all of two or so years, that his ex-girlfriend wants him to just move on? Seriously??? He's going to be devastated. Because, as aforementioned a few entries back, he's in love with her. Pierre will not take the news well. So how am IIIIIII supposed to tell him, huh?!?! I can't do that to him. But, apparently, I don't have a choice. Because a promised. Well, sort of. And I can't back out now anyway. I mean, that would make me a very crappy friend, wouldn't it? I just bloody wish she hadn't asked me to do it. Why am I always the messenger? Seriously! Like whenever Dom and Pierre have a falling out, IIII have to be the peacemaker. And now apparently when Danielle is too...ugh, I don't know, too something....I have to be the one to muster up the courage and tell him what she wants to tell him.

No. Fair.

What she wants me to say? Something along the lines of "he'll always be important to her, but it's been a year and she thinks it's time that he moves on". How am I supposed to tell him all that?? And she said "say it more nicely" but how am I supposed to say something like that "nicely"?? It's impossible! I can't believe how much of a pushover I am around my best friend!! God, she owes me BIG TIME. My christmas present better be a good one! I'm considering giving her a lump of coal after what she did...

...nah, I love her. She's almost as close to me as Lila is, I mean we're practically sisters! Therefore, I will do this for her.

Somehow.

I dunno how yet.

Eek.

Still, at least now I can cross off one of my resolutions and it's not even the new year yet! Sooo...

Updated list of resolutions for 1977

• Get over Pierre [yeah right]
  
• Get a boyfriend [look above]
  
• Learn how to make brownies [thank you for that, at least, Dani!]
  
• Figure out a way to smuggle Lady into Hogwarts [I dunno how to go about that one yet. Hmm, what if I ask one of those guys who always have something up their sleeves, aren't they experts at this kind of stuff? Hey, maybe Dominic knows someone who could help! NOTE: ASK DOM]
  
• Update my stash of sweets [not happening anytime soon either ]
  
• Concentrate on Potions more often [ehhhhhh...]
  
• Work on sign language [oh, I almost forgot about that! Hmm, maybe after Christmas break I'll actually get enough guts to ask Jake. I just have to find a way to make it sound as non-weird as possible]

Let's see if I can manage to cross off any more anytime soon!

Aaaand, on another note; it's CHRISTMAS EVE!

Wish I could be more excited, but I'm all out of sugar and the whole Pierre thing is casting a dark cloud over my head.

Dang it.

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[olivia]

^jubilant

IT'S CHRISTMAS. FINALLY!

And you know, I had the absolute BEST wake-up method. Well, it wasn't the best at the time, but still! I woke up to something licking my face and, admittedly, it made me shriek, but thankfully everyone else was still awake, but anyhow - what woke me up was a kitten. And not just any kitten, either, because I know for a fact it doesn't belong to anyone else -it was one of my Christmas presents. I'm completely serious. I got a kitten for Christmas. A joint gift between Lila and Dom and Alex (he picked her out!). I have no idea how they got her here, but I'm glad because she's absolutely adorable. She can't be more than a few months old and, honestly, she's just the cutest thing I've ever seen (after Lady, that is)! Dom must have heard me complaining all the time about how much I miss Lady and all, and so they got me a kitten! Or so it said in the note that accompanied her, anyway. Of course, no one can replace Lady, and I still miss her and wish they could have somehow brought her to Hogwarts and convinced the teachers to let me keep her, but Tinkerbelle is so cute!

Yup, that's what I called her. Tinkerbelle, Tink for short, because she's just tiny! I already took a picture of her...

Just looking at it makes me go AW, what do you think looking at the real thing is like? And she's super playful too. I got a string and dragged it around the dormitory and she chased after it and wouldn't let go when she sank her little claws in it. And she's so soft and cuddly, too! I think I'm already spoiling her and I haven't even had her for a day, but I just can't help it! I absolutely love my siblings for doing this for me. Honestly, it's the best Christmas present!

Well, okay, so Pierre's came a very close second, but that's only because it's Pierre. He got me a card and a friendship bracelet. Nothing too fancy or anything, but it was from him.

Gah, anyway, guess what? I can cross off something else from my resolutions, because I am fully stocked with sugary goodness again! That's right, most of my friends did the same thing I did -although for a different reason, probably, namely that I'm well-renowned for my fetish for all things sugary- and now I have a huge amount of candy. Yay me! Did I ever mention how much I love my friends?

Things to do during 1977 generally since it's not '77 yet and I've already cross off some xD

• Get over Pierre [hahahahaha...oh, wait, I'm being serious >.>]
  
• Get a boyfriend [...]
  
• Learn how to make brownies
  
• Figure out a way to smuggle Lady into Hogwarts [well, I do have Tink now, but I still want my Lady Gosh, I hope they get along when they meet during the summer!]
  
• Update my stash of sweets
  
• Concentrate on Potions more often [working on that, honest!]
  
• Work on sign language [uh...fine, I'll ask Jake next practice >.>]

Well, it seemed pretty pointless to keep 'during 1977' since it's not even the New Years yet and I've already fulfilled to of my to-do lists. Hmm, maybe I should add on things I'd like to do in the future...

• Own a sweets factory [endless supply, oh yes]
  
• Become an archaeologist? []
  
• Get married [well, yeah...]
  
• Discover/make up another means of communication with Alex
  
• Master the wroski feint [I'm not even close.

Well, that's all I can think of now..

I...uh...still haven't talked to Pierre about what Danielle asked me to do. As a matter of fact, I'm...kind-of avoiding him. I mean, I doubt he noticed or anything, but yeah, I'm avoiding him. I'm dreading the conversation. Seriously.

But...Danielle never said when I had to tell him, right?

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[olivia]

Ummmm...I think Danielle is going to kill me....

...Or she's getting really fed up with me...

...Or...yeah, no, I'm pretty sure she's ready to kill me...

...Because I still haven't talked to Pierre.

Well excuse me for not exactly looking forward to this! She keeps asking me to just do it over and over again and she just doesn't get that I don't want to! I'm seriously not looking forward to this conversation! I like being Pierre's friend, thank you very much. I don't want him to, like, hate me. And he probably will, when I tell him what Danielle wants me to tell him. I'll get to it though! I mean, does it matter when it has to be said?!

When I asked Dani that, though, she said yes it does.

Well, whatever. I promised I would do it, and I will...eventually. I never break a promise, I'm not about to start now.

GAH wish me luck with that.

I've stopped avoiding him, at least. I can never do that for too long, apparently, and plus I couldn't avoid him since he was one of the few people that I knew who stayed during the Christmas holidays and I couldn't hang out with Danielle all the time.

Seriously, how am I supposed to tell him?

Ugh, my life stinks.

I need a hug

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[olivia]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's FINALLY 1977!! I am DETERMINED to complete at least a few of my resolutions, and the main one being? Getting over Pierre, of course. I can't keep going like this. I seriously can't. I mean, it's been going on long enough, you know? And he was right, I do need to get out there more. I mean, Dom likes the way I am right now just fine since he doesn't have to worry about anyone "hurting his baby sister" or whatever (seriously, I don't get Dom sometimes, I really don't). Maybe I am too shielded. All right, my newest resolution?

• Fall in love with someone else.

Is that too optimistic? Okay, let's change it up...umm...

• Start dating

Oh wait, don't I already have that on my list? Well, whatever. I'm determined to fulfill this one, too. Seriously. It's the only way I can think of moving on. Because I just don't see me and Pierre getting together. Why? Because he'd never think of me that way, duh. Have I not mentioned more than once that I'm his best friend's little sister? This isn't some teenage romance novel. These sorts of cliches never work out, okay? And the Danielle thing -

-ugh, I'm just repeating myself and depressing myself, which is unacceptable! I just enjoyed an extremely tasty lollipop and - oh! I have something else to add onto my list!

• Invent a never-ending lollipop.

...Because that sweet ended entirely too quickly. Honestly.

...Was that as random as I thought it was? It was, wasn't it? Oh well. That's what sugar does to me. Maybe I should consider cutting down...?

...Nah.

Anyways...YAY FOR THE NEW YEAR.

And...that is all I have to say for now

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[olivia]

See? I said I couldn't keep a diary and, look at that, I obviously can't since it's been two weeks since I've written in this thing.

Nothing really to report, though. I...uh...still haven't talked to Pierre. I keep putting it off, admittedly. Danielle hasn't snapped at me yet for not doing it sooner. I think she's finally realised how awkward it will be for me, so she's not nagging -but she didn't ask me not to do it though, unfortunately. Oh well.

Mission Getting-Over-Pierre is not going so well, either. I don't even love him a little less.

?!?!

What gives?

I don't even get it, really. I mean...okay, so he's an amazing guy. And he has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. And he's just...ugh, okay, I get it.

STILL there are PLENTY of other fish in the sea, right?!

But...I just want that fish.

GRRR.

Okay, this is so not helping. Let's think about other things! Like...the fact that I constantly refer to my diary as a person who can reply to me. That can't be good. Gotta stop doing that.

...Right.

Gosh, when did I get so weird? Like really. Was I always like this?

Probably.

Ahh well. I blame the sugar.

Really, I do. It's all it's fault...

...right?

Being normal is over-rated anyway, right?

Riiiight...

Ehhhh anywaaay...

...Nevermind, I have nothing else to say >.< More later?

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