The Take Over, The Breaks Over (Isabella)

[brett]

Season's change
but people don't

Regulus had turned the opposite way of where the hospital wing was, no doubt the nurse would be rushing to heal Cartier's broken body, or they would be rushing him to her. Either way the damage he'd done to the Gryffindor was easily fixable. Potions could wake him up, kill his pain until it went away all together. But for Regulus there would be no potions and no healing. He would carry scars from the night with him for the rest of his life.

Tears continued to stream down his fast and the salty taste as they dripped into the corners of his mouth repulsed him. He was stronger than this, he knew he was, but it had been so long since he cried he didn't know how to stop. The Slytherin pulled out his wand and switched his ball clothes for something more comfortable, and old pair of blue jeans and a gray sweatshirt. He used the sweatshirt sleeve to wipe his eyes and his nose. 'You are weak' he scolded himself inside his head. 'So weak.' And the salty taste in his mouth and Indi kissing him, Regulus kicked hard into the wall to his left sending pain throughout his leg, but it was nothing to him now he kicked again, he punched the wall, slammed his fists into it willing the stone to move but it refused to budge.

He turned and spotted a suit of armor a little further down the corridor he punched the helmet off the armor and threw the body to the ground where he continued to kick the chest plate, grunting in anguish feeling a lump rise in his throat making it hard to breathe. He collapsed against the wall dropping to a sitting position amongst the armor than now lay strewn about and he put his head into his hands and sobbed, every muscle of his arms and legs were aching, but it still wasn't enough. What was wrong with him? He couldn't control himself, he craved the pain he examined fresh blood on his knuckles, this time it was his own, the tight skin had been cut when he punched rough stone.

Hopefully his little explosion would go unnoticed, but he as this thought entered his head he heard footsteps approach. Too tired to move, or to care Regulus awaited his fate, perhaps they would take pity on the shell of what was once Regulus Black.

[bella]

{ This won’t break your heart. }

Why are you doing this? Bella questioned herself as she practically ran out of the Entrance Hall, her stomach in a complete fit of knots. For months now she’d been daydreaming about how much fun tonight would be, spending every ounce of it with Drew – and now she’d just rudely excused herself to chase after someone who wasn’t even her date. He’s my friend, she thought forcefully, and goodness he’d looked awful in the small glimpse she’d caught. Bella wanted to scream and tear at Indigo for whatever she’d done – it was her fault he was like this, she was sure. Perhaps it was her newly founded friendship with Ethan that angered her some against Regulus too, but he would be okay. That was the thing about magic – it could do wonders beyond the minds comprehension level, it was remarkable. Ethan would be okay, she’d visit him later; but right now Regulus had no one, and it was her turn to return the favor. When she’d felt alone and scared Regulus had appeared, quite literally saving her sanity. Who knows what would have happened if she’d been forced to go through all that alone? Bella gritted her teeth, now fighting tears herself – now was not a good time for a breakdown. Any other time but now.

This will only take a minute…

Drew was going to be so mad at her if she was gone for much longer, but she could deal with him. If anything he might be annoyed with her for a couple days and get over, right? He’d understand her reasons for leaving, wouldn’t he? Bella cussed out her anger under her breath, stopping right in the middle of the hallway. “Where did you go?” she fumed, not wanting to turn around without ever finding Regulus. He couldn’t have gotten that far, could he? Her silent pleas were answered, surely, as a loud bang! erupted from up ahead. Bella’s breath caught for a moment, listening to the clanking of something falling apart. There was a commotion of noise and then silence, heavy breathing all that she could hear. Bella gulped back her threatening tears and slowly began walking again, peering around the corner as soon as she came to it. Regulus was crumpled up against the wall amongst a broken suit of arms and – he was crying. For every time they had ever talked he’d always been so careful to never show much more emotion then perhaps a small frown. And now he was livid, tears streaming relentless down his face. Bella stood there a moment awkwardly – she knew him better then that, he’d want to be alone. Having anyone see him like that would hurt him too much… More then he is already? Making up her mind, Bella cautiously walked forward.

It was a lot harder to try and be strong when he looked so helpless. Bella felt embarrassed for ever having put him through that, watching her cry over someone he hadn’t even know. It was difficult for her to watch – how had he ever survived it? “Reg…?” she whispered, watching him with weariness. Bella knelt down, ignoring the fact that the floor was who knew how dirty and was getting on her dress. Okay, so maybe she shouldn’t have come. She kept waiting for the shouting to start, for him to shove her away and demand she mind her own business. She probably deserved it truth be told, but sheer stubbornness kept her there. He was her friend, dang it! She could comfort him, right? Of course, the last thing he probably wanting was female company after…that whole thing. But Bella was determined, her eyes never leaving him. “What happened?” she asked quietly, nervously placing one hand on his arm, “Are…” Well of course he’s not okay. Bella sighed and pulled back her hand, weakly tucking her legs underneath herself to sit down next to him on the floor. Her dress was likely to be covered in dirt now, but she didn’t care – a simple charm or two would fix that. It was an easy fix – Regulus on the other hand, presented a much bigger problem.

Another tentative sigh escaped her. “Regulus, I know the last thing you’ll want to do is talk to anybody, but I wasn’t lying when I said you could talk to me. I promise I won’t tell anyone anything, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Bella forced herself to keep her eyes trained on the wall in front of them, and make dead sure she wouldn’t start crying too. Now was not the time. After a moment she pulled up her hands into her lap and clasped them together, staring at her painted fingernails. It was about that time she noticed his hands, droplets of blood smeared over his knuckles. Her stomach turned queasy for a second but she ignored it. Instead, she finally looked back at Regulus – “Please talk to me,” she begged, “I’ll leave you alone if you really, really want, but…” Why was this so hard? Bella forced the tears away, “Please?”

[brett]

Regulus hadn't heard the footsteps until just before they arrived, each soft step made him hopeful that perhaps Indigo had come to find him to let him know she actually cared about and everything with Cartier was a big mistake. When he heard his name, his nickname, he looked up hopefully only to have that hope dashed by the figure of Issabella Swan. He should be grateful that anyone at all had come to look for him, but he couldn't keep himself from hating Bella, just a little, for not being the person he wanted to see. Beyond ashamed of his appearance Regulus wiped his eyes and immediately forced himself to stop crying, he choked back a few tears wiped his eyes again and recovered.

"Now really isn't a great time, Bella," He said remaining in control of his voice keeping it steady. He had to be strong now. It was one thing to have a breakdown alone in a corridor, it was quite another to do it in front of someone else. Despite his less than warm words of welcome Bella had not budged, she remained by him talking to him, wanting him to talk to her. But where would talking get him? What could talking do but expose weakness? Say he tried talking but no words would come, only more tears. He could barely stand the thought of continuing to cry alone let alone in the presence of anyone else. He could maybe talk to Kreacher, he told Kreacher everything...but Kreacher was quite far from here and there bond was not strong enough to grant telecommunication. But Bella was here and willing to listen

He had done the same for her once, so really she was just returning a favor, he wouldn't need to worry about repaying her. And maybe getting the words out would help. But where to start? What to say? "She went with him to the Hospital Wing didn't she?" he asked looking straight ahead his voice clear yet distant. Detached somehow, numb of emotion. He didn't want to look at Bella because then he could pretend she wasn't there. It seemed like an awful thing to say considering she had left her date only to have her presence ignored by a self righteous coward who couldn't even keep a girl from disgracing him in front of the entire school while simultaneously stripping him of the only good in his life.

[bella]

{ But I just think it could. }

“Now really isn’t a great time, Bella.”

The words hurt more then they should have and all she could do was nod numbly. Bella turned her gaze away form him and instead stared right at her hands. She absently ran her fingers over a small section of the silky fabric – anything to give her an excuse to not look at him. Clearly it wasn’t his desire to be thrown on the spotlight and discuss what was hurting him so badly. There was a fine line between boys and girls it seemed, the one where guys could never understand why girls cried over their feelings and why girls couldn’t understand why guys never would. She wanted to help him, she really did, but how was she supposed to do that if she didn’t know what was wrong? All that Bella had since been able to gather was that the whole ordeal involved Indigo and Ethan. She knew they’d dated before, but they were over – weren’t they? Regulus had no reason to attack Ethan if nothing had ever happened.

But clearly something had happened.

Her anger began to be fueled back towards Indigo, and loathing everything about her. Ever since their own quarrel, the two had never been the same. They didn’t smile and wave in the hallways anymore, or ride upon the same gossip line – Bella was positive Indigo hadn’t so much as looked at her since their argument. Looking back on it now, Bella almost wanted to laugh: the entire confrontation had been based on their boyfriends. Bella rattled on about how Regulus deserved someone so much better then Indigo while Indigo in turn verbally attacked Drew from every angle and claimed he was probably the worst guy attending Hogwarts. At the time she would have willed anything to break apart Regulus and Indigo no matter how many times she’d told him congrats. Now all that idiotic wishing felt like the worst thing she could have ever wanted. Was any of this, at all, remotely Bella’s fault? Well no, she’d played no part in whatever had occurred tonight – but it certainly felt that way right about now.

Bella had almost made up her mind to just get up and leave, forget she’d ever come out here in the first place. Obviously Regulus wanted anything but her company. The sheer look of disgust she’d received from him was enough to confirm that. An irritable sigh escaped her: why wouldn’t he just talk to her? Well duh, came the immediate response. Why would he tell her what was going on? It wasn’t like they were best friends – even if it had been someone else, he wasn’t going to talk. That was just Regulus. The longer they sat there in silence the more aggravated she became – why waste time here where she clearly wasn’t wanted when she had a loving boyfriend waiting for her return?

“She went with him to the Hospital Wing, didn’t she?”

The vulnerability present in his tone almost cut worst then before. Over the course of time it had taken her to become tense, Bella finally relaxed her position into a defeated slouch and dropped her face into her hands. “Of course she did Regulus,” she muttered, bluntness all she could manage. If he was going to be rude to her he best expect rudeness in return. Bella, how is that fair? She set her jaw into a lock and breathed in slowly, leaning back up against the wall on the exhale. “Obviously Ethan got to her,” Bella continued, much calmer in tone. Sympathy was there, but it was buried beneath the impatience. “And somehow you got left to wallow in self pity. That’s all I know – I can’t possibly tell you anything you’d want to hear until I know what happened.” Bella was careful to stare straight ahead; if Regulus wanted to talk to the wall, okay – fine. At least he was talking period. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase ‘life’s not fair.’” Bella couldn’t quite find it within herself to be openly sympathetic towards him just yet. She knew she should be, but it was hard when you received a welcome like that. She frowned and stared hard at the wall. “Well, welcome to it.”

[brett]

Of course she did. They words cut terribly. Not just because of what Bella said but how she said it. How it should have been obvious. How he was a fool to think his girlfriend would actually be supportive of him. He was about ready to hex her for using that sort of tone with him. He should have done it, but he didn't whether it was because he knew he had asked a stupid question and deserved to have Bella fire back what he had handed out. Or maybe he was just to tired to reach into his pocket and pull out his wand.

"Thanks that really helps," Regulus said clearly sarcastic his words dripping acid. "My girlfriend just made out with her ex-boyfriend and told him she loved him," He said crossly unable to believe Bella wouldn't be taking this more seriously. "I have a right to do whatever I damn well please. Now just leave me the hell alone," Regulus ordered standing up from the wall suddenly finding enough strength to do so. He'd already been humiliated enough tonight he really did not need to sit here and take this.

What was Bella even doing coming after him anyway, she had her own date, her boyfriend in fact, to look after. Not only should she not be here but Regulus didn't want her anywhere near him. He didn't want to sit and be humiliated by a girl who had no idea what he was going through. Who would pretend to sympathize with him then go running off to her boyfriend who didn't even liked being called her boyfriend. While his girlfriend, his damn girlfriend sat in the hospital wing pouting over a few lousy bruises he'd given the person she supposedly loved. Indigo didn't even believe in love, she was kidding herself if she'd thought she found it in Cartier and Regulus could only hope that when he inevitably broke her heart, he would be there to watch her feel the same pain she had caused him.

[/color]

[bella]

{ Cause I haven’t tried as hard as I should. }

Bella’s fuming was interrupted as Regulus made a move to get up. Immediately she was at her feet: reason one because that meant he was going to try and make an escape, and two, she wasn’t at all going to believe for a single moment he was in his right state of mind. This was why she never befriended Slytherins; rotten, slimy Sytherins who cared only for themselves. Okay, he was hurting – badly. And she was being told off for trying to help? Perhaps not in the best tactics – his tone made that bluntly obvious – but still: you didn’t see anyone else coming to offer help, did you?

Which, speaking of – why had she bothered?

The entire idea seemed worthless now. She should have minded her own business and not even cared that she’d seen Regulus stalk off. Bella should have stayed where she was and done nothing but think about dancing. Part of her wanted to spin around without another word and go do so too – but the other more dominate half told her to stay put. It didn’t matter how badly his words hurt her and she must just ignore the burning desire of wanting to hurt her blazing in his eyes. Somewhere buried deep down was her friend, right? He was pissed off – anyone would be after that. Bella was annoyed and she hadn’t even been a part of it! Of course he was mad. He had a right to be – but did that mean she was going to let him take the anger out on her? No way.

“Damn it Regulus!” she practically shouted, completely loosing her temper. “I get that your pissed, duh! Anyone with half a mind would be! But it’s not my fault. I’m not going to stand here and let you yell at me for something I didn’t do! You were hurting – you are hurting – and there is nothing wrong with that! I thought I’d be nice and see if I could help you, even if all I could do was offer you someone to vent to. But clearly I’m the last person you’d like to be talking to. What do you want me to do? Apologize because Indigo was awful to you? Say it’s all just some big practical joke and she’s waiting for you right now?” Bella shut her mouth promptly and glared at him with a passion. Why had she bothered with this? She should have just stayed out of it. This was the last time she’d try and help him, that was for sure.

And even so, she wasn’t through: “I can’t do anything about what happened. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. Anyone who would be willing to put you through this,” she waved her hand weakly towards him and his mess, “Isn’t worth trying to get back. I know it hurt, trust me – I get it. I know it’s not what you want to hear, that someone might actually know what you’re going through – because no one could possibly know what the great and noble Regulus Black goes through every day, right? News flash – life can suck, hard. But that’s why when you fall, you have friends to catch you. But if you insist on being a melodramatic, arrogant heart-break that wants to fall flat on his face, by all means, go right ahead!” Bella waved her hand again, begging him to proceed falling right to the floor. “Please, after you!”


OOC: *Sniffles* I love Regulus, and I feel bad for chewing him out – but it’d be wildly out of character for Bella not to over-react.

[brett]

"They say your head
can be a prison"

"I don't want you to do anything, that's the point! I didn't ask you to run after me!" Regulus shouted back at her his voice loud, angry, intimidating. He couldn't take this. She had just showed up and now she wanted him to tell her what to do? Like he had asked for her help in anyway?! "And there is only one person in this god forsaken world I want to talk to right now, that I could talk to, that more than anything I need to talk to, but she's to busy crying over over some git that she couldn't even wait to break up with me before she started snogging him in the middle of the bloody Yule Ball no less!" Regulus gestured wildly with his hands telegraphing his frustration at the situation. So maybe Bella could then actually see what he was trying to deal with and cut him some damn slack.

"Don't you DARE tell me you know how I feel. You could not even begin to pretend that you comprehend even an ounce of what I am feeling right now!" Regulus said infuriated by his so called friends audacity to try and sympathize with him in a situation she knew nothing about. "And if this is your idea of being a friend there to catch me then I think I'm far better off without any...but let's not kid ourselves, you're not my friend. You're here because I helped you before and now your repaying the favor, but I'll let you know right now it's not necessary," Regulus insisted sure that this was the only reason Bella would come to his aid. He actually wanted to believe that was the only reason she had come because if she had been a friend he would feel too awful about treating her this way.

But the fact was Regulus Black had no friends. That was why no one had come to his aid but Bella, who was in his debt. No one would come to comfort Regulus Black. What's worth, half the people in that ballroom (if not more) thought he had gotten what he deserved, and would like nothing more than to come and laugh at the once proud Serpentine Prince. There would be line, he was sure, if he had not tortured a boy until he blacked out all with a sadistic smile on his face. Regulus was intimidating before, now he was downright scary. He was scary because his mind was unstable, because his thoughts were darkening, because he openly attacked and tortured a fellow student before storming off with tears dripping from eyes that would now forever burn with the flames of revenge. "Now why don't you run back to your date," he added bitterly tossing his head in the direction of the ball.

[bella]

{ To separate you from everything I do. }

“Ugh, you’re impossible!” Bella screamed back, griping at her hair to keep her head from exploding, completely forgetting how long it had taken to make perfect. There was no way this could be happening – how could this possibly have happened? She couldn’t even begin to wrap her mind around the idea that she was screaming at him, or maybe she just wouldn’t. Bella had been known as a problem solver practically since setting foot at Hogwarts, and just because someone was refusing her help and not going her way she was throwing a fit. How mature was that? They were acting like children, and Bella knew it – but could she stop from feeling that way? Was it even an option at this point? She wanted to yell at him and hug him all at once. Yell because he was being a complete idiot and hug because she knew part of his current insanity was her fault and felt the burning need to apologize for it. Whether she liked it or not clearly she was doing nothing to help him. And, look at that – Mr. “I have to big an ego to admit I’m hurt” didn’t want her help anyways. Like she hadn’t seen it coming. So why then, why was she still standing there even bothering to have this conversation? If he wanted to –

“But let’s not kid ourselves, you’re not my friend.”

Now that – that hit a nerve. Instantly Bella could feel her anger deflate and the feeling was replaced with an awkward sense of emptiness. It felt like her stomach had just dropped right to the ground and it was pointless to try and pick it back up again. Not. Friends? Just those two words ran through her mind a least a million times before she was even aware he was shouting again, something about Drew. Not. Friends. So what had all of this been then? He thought she was just repaying him…? For what – making her face the person she hated most, having to watch her die? He thought she was glad about agreeing to go? She was doing him a favor right now? Getting even? Bella tried to find the appropriate shock to this revelation:

And found absolutely nothing.

Perhaps it was because she’d known it all along. Maybe that’s why her tears didn’t come forth and maybe that’s what kept her from crumpling into a heap of nothingness. The sense of surprise she should be feeling right now wasn’t coming because she’d always known, deep down, she meant absolutely nothing to him. Bella had refused to believe it and just acted like nothing was wrong – their entire friendship, if you could even call it that, had been completely based off lies. Started with lies and ended with lies. All of it, lies.

Because they weren’t friends.

Bella could only stare at him, not even sure what he expression was giving away – hurt? Betrayal? Had the shock entered yet? Understanding? New knowledge? But what did it matter anyways, what did any of it matter if after tonight he would never speak to her? Just the thought of being cut off from him hurt – Bella hadn’t realized how much she’d come to enjoy his company. His false company. Because he really believed it – she was nothing; a pawn in a game to get him further in life. That was it, maybe – if that. And it hurt.

“This is the exact reason you don’t have any friends,” Bella murmured, her voice open and torn; she didn’t even try to defend her position of being a friend – did it matter much now anyways? “Anytime someone tries to get close to you, you just push them away. You hurt them…so they’ll leave you alone…” Even her eyes were empty – there was nothing, not a single tear that should have been there. “Do you really want to be all alone? Do you really want me to leave, that badly?” Bella laughed dryly, shaking her head. “No, stupid question – clearly that’s what you’ve been trying to tell me all along. I just wouldn’t listen. I wanted to think you were right, I wanted to believe you… ‘All Slytherin’s aren’t the same’ you told me, so I accepted that. And now look…” Bella studied his outraged expression sadly, “Turns out I would have been better off thinking you were all the same. It would have saved you so much time.”

[brett]

Then these are just
Conjugal visits

He'd hurt her, that was obvious. But could he really say he regretted it? Wasn't that the reasoning behind his yelling? Didn't he want to make her so upset that she would leave and never want to talk to him again? It didn't matter, even if Regulus had wanted to take back what he said he couldn't. It didn't work that way, better he just cut the ties now. It would be easier this way. Though just by the honestly hurt expression wasn't he proved wrong? If she wasn't his friend why would the news hurt her? Again though, it was moot point. He'd lost too much face to apologize, to ask forgiveness, he refused.

"Can you blame me for pushing people away?" Regulus asked finding it incomprehensible that Bella thought that he was being irrational by keeping people at a distance. "Especially now? After the first girl I ever even started to let it ripped my heart apart?! After a summer where I saw the person I was closest to and had been since birth, storm out of my house?! What's the point in letting someone in when all it ever does is give them the power to hurt you when they leave?" He said his voice demanding a response forcing Bella to see reason. "...it's just easier to keep people at a distance, push people away before they get the chance to leave." It was perfectly logical. It was what he always believed in. It was all thanks to his fathers teachings. They seemed harsh lessons at times, but in the end it was all just to keep him from getting hurt. He went against his father once, and this happens.

A man cannot change his destiny, and Regulus had been a fool to try. Bella had made one good point, wallowing in self-pity would do him no good. Grieving the loss of a relationship he had known to be doomed was pointless. It was clear now what he would need to do. "I guess you were right...we really are all the same," he shrugged non complacent at this point, not really sure how he should feel, but he wasn't feeling much of anything except a growing desire to fulfill what he now knew was his destiny, his purpose for existence. Indigo was his last chance at fighting it. With her gone he was free to embrace it.

[bella]

{ But I would never want to come between us two. }

Not. Friends.

Well, okay. If that’s what he really thought of all…this, whatever “this” was now. Had it ever been anything to begin with? Bella couldn’t push the words out of head no matter how hard she tried. If anything she was only making her head hurt worse – which, she realized dumbly, part of the problem was that she was still trying to ruthlessly grip her hair to keep her brains inside her skull. It took effort, but she unclamped her pale fingers and dropped them to her side. The blood began circulating back through her hands, making then tingle with life. But more then anything, Bella wished she was dead. That she could just crawl up into some deep, dark corner and never have to face anyone else again. It was like she was caught between a rock and hard place – or some saying like that. One side hated Regulus and everything he stood for – all his poor morals and worthless beliefs. However, the other side was the one that felt the smallest ounce of sympathy she felt he didn’t deserve anymore. They weren’t friends, so why would he want it anyways, right?

“The only reason they would ever walk away is because you do this to them,” Bella muttered without much effort behind the words. It was a miracle she could even find her voice at this point. “Not every one is out to get you, you know,” she sighed, staring at the ground. She was tired of staring at a face that hated her. “Some people might actually like to be your friend if you’d let them. Part of learning who to give that trust to though, it involves being hurt and beaten up until you feel like there’s nothing left. Do you think people just go around handing out their trust to random people? It takes time, and sometimes once you do give trust away, people take it and break it apart. I’ll admit, I’ve never had a break up as bad as…that, okay? I don’t completely understand, but I can at least try. I know what it’s like to feel hurt and betrayed. My own parents betrayed me. They didn’t want me. I was alone my entire time growing up – and you just said so yourself, the one person you had when growing up is gone. You’ve been faced with the sense of abandonment I’ve been dealing with my entire life. Indigo just sort of…push you over the edge. And you have every right to hate her for it – just don’t hate her forever, okay? I know from experience hating someone doesn’t get you anywhere. And when they die, that’s it – no apologizing.”

It was quite possibly the longest speech she’d ever given to someone who wasn’t her friend – Bella couldn’t even think it without sneering the words – and still she wasn’t sure why she was bothering. Her brain was shouting to turn around and let him mope, but her feet refused to listen. Perhaps it was because when she was younger, being alone had always been her biggest fear – maybe it was his too? But even if it was, why did she care? Clearly she was wasting her breath on someone who didn’t want to hear it anyways. All she had to do was turn around and walk away. That was it.

So why didn’t she?

Bella was forced to glance up at him by his last comment, studying his face curiously. It was rare that he ever admitted someone other then himself was right, angry or not it was wildly out of character. “You know what?” she asked weakly, not caring much for an answer either way, “I wish you had proved me wrong Regulus, I really wish you had.”

[brett]

"People will dissect us
'til this doesn't mean
a thing anymore"

Not everyone was out to get him? "Sure as hell feels like it," Regulus mumbled. Everyone was and always had been out to get him it was him against the world. Still though he found himself listening to Bella instead of storming off. His feet wouldn't move and his ears wouldn't stop listening as Bella's words tried to inject an important lesson into his stubborn mind. Part of him wanted to accept the things she was telling him, wanted to believe her words were true, that maybe she could sympathize, but his mind simply wouldn't allow it. She may have had a similar experience but it was still completely different.

"Well, sometimes you're better off having your parents abandon you," Regulus said very matter of factly. He had told Bella this before, that she was better off without her parents, but it wasn't her he was thinking about right now it was himself. How Regulus wished that his parents had abandoned him, instead they were the only ones who hadn't...and even that was questionable. But he could answer that question. He could still keep his parents, even if he wasn't sure he wanted them, they were all he had.

"And...I don't hate her," he added not really sure he wanted to say this, but he may as well. "I know I should, but I don't. I hate Cartier for being the one she kissed, I hate myself for not being able to make her, I hate my father and her father for condemning our relationship. I actually hate just about everyone in the world at this point, except her. Her, I still love and I hate myself more for it," despite all the hate he had described feeling Reg's tone was subdued and honest. He hated himself most of all, he hated every fiber of his own being, everything in him that had made Indigo leave him. It was his fault, if he'd let her in more maybe she would have stayed, but she was so tentative to let him in it felt wrong. He could feel a swell behind his eyes which he was assuming meant more tears, but he fought them back.

Regulus cast a glance at Bella what was she going to tell him this time? So she wished he had proved her wrong. Well really he already had hadn't he? No other Slytherin would have dared take a Hufflepuff to see her dying estranged mother, no other Slytherin would admit to her the joys and wonders he felt from being around a girl who made the entire world look better and brighter. But apparently none of that counted for squat now did it? People only cared about what you'd done for them recently and for Regulus that was nothing good. "Yea, well looks like I can just add you to the list of people I've let down," Regulus said really not caring for this anymore. He had something he needed to do. "Now don't you think it's about time you get back to the ball and your boyfriend...or whatever the hell he wants to call himself?" he said his tone condescending while letting her know he was pretty much done with talking. They weren't friends and he'd let her down, sounded like the end of a conversation to him.

[bella]

{ I’ll keep your memory vague, so you won’t feel bad about me. }

Endless circles – that’s all any of this would ever amount to. Nothing more could ever come out of talking to him; she wanted to laugh – like he’d ever let her talk to him again. Everything about him now, it was all screaming at her to leave: his tone, expression, posture. She hadn’t been wanted to begin with and she wasn’t wanted now. Every ounce of time she had ever spent with him had seemed worth it when it was happening, but now all she felt was a hallow, empty feeling that might never be filled. Bella hadn’t openly thrown herself into being friends with him, and when she finally had decided maybe they were friends, he killed that belief, and he ran it straight into the ground. There was nothing left for her to grasp at anymore – she couldn’t even fake like she could ignore what was directly staring her in the face. He didn’t even look like he regretted saying any of it – any regret she could pick out all came from the fact that he’d allowed her to get close at all. Nothing could be salvaged. All of it…

Gone.

“I guess I finally heard what you’ve always told me, right?” she sighed, looking at him without the slightest idea what her face was giving away. Was there anything to give away? Everything felt dead to her, did her expression portray the same thing? “We can’t be friends – we never were; I get.” Staring at someone who’d she had thought had been one of her closest friends, and being told they never were – an awkward feeling, one she wasn’t sure how to face. Her heart felt torn – if this was the last time they ever talked, he was going to remember her like this? No self control, out of her mind, looking like she just gotten beat up? And her – what was she supposed to think of him after all this? Bella couldn’t get past the angry expression, and the words – trying to pry back any happiness she had ever felt around him was like a fabricated memory – like it had never happened. Regulus had never wanted any of it to happen; did that make it any less real? And so finally her tears began to push back against her restraints, demanding to be set free so she could cry and cry over the loss of someone who had never been hers. Because after all, they had never been friends.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time Regulus Black.” It would be the last time she ever uttered that name – even if it killed her, he thought things were better this way; Bella was going to force herself into believing it had never occurred either. As far as anyone knew, they had never spoken a word to one another. If it made himself feel better about himself, better about whatever he went on doing, Bella would suffer through it in silence for him. It didn’t matter if she ever got a single word of thanks from him – she wasn’t even sure she wanted it. It would just be another lie. “I promise I’ll leave you alone,” she vowed in sadness; the beginning many days to come. “But just so we’re straight,” Bella looked him right in the eye – the last time she ever would, “You never disappointed me.” Without another word she turned around and began back the way she had come. They were over – they had never begun. From now on she couldn’t let herself think about him, because she shouldn’t have any memories to begin with. He was but a fragment of her imagination long since lost. A childhood daydream to be locked away with all the old toys; and now it was time to get back to reality, where perhaps it wouldn’t hurt so much.

Bella made it all the way around the corner before the tears came.

She could never be disappointed in him – she was more angry at herself for ever believing she’d meant something to him. She was nothing – he wanted her to be nothing. So that’s what she would do; she was going to leave him alone. Any time they passed each over in the hallways, he was a no-name face. Whenever they had a class together, he was nothing more then a student sitting in a chair. If ever he came up in conversation, no, she didn’t know him. She knew of him – that was it. It was better that way – he wanted it that way. She had to make it that way. Bella’s face was soaked in a matter of moments, where she weakly leaned up against the wall and sobbed. She couldn’t go back to Drew like this, not yet – and so she straightened back up and headed towards the Common Room. She needed her wand, had to clean up; and then she’d go back to the Ball without remembering any of this.

It had never happened.

{ But you’ll never leave these scenes my mind replays. }

[brett]

Don't pretend you'd
ever forget about me
...We don't fight fair

Regulus had clearly hurt Bella with the whole, not friends thing, but really what could he do? And was he really wrong? Had they been friends? Reg would have liked to believe they were, but maybe it was all just lies; just like everything else in his life was. The entire friendship had been based off him wanting to prove he was different, him wanting to prove that broken families can fixed. That a happy ending was possible for everyone. All lies. Not everyone got a happy ending. very few did it would seem. And as far as Regulus could tell Bella's best shot at getting one of her own was to steer clear of him.

For him, there would be no happy ending. At least not in the sense he had once believed. He had been denied the happy ending he'd longed for with Indigo, so he would have to take the happy ending he'd been destined to chase. His happy ending would steal away so many others. His happiness would be forged through the sorrow of others. His path would be blazed with death and violence for all those who opposed him...and his new master. Regulus would gain power, he would be his master's closest and most loyal follower. Together they would achieve what no other wizards had achieved. They would make the world there's.

Yes, if Bella had any chance at being happy it lied far away from Regulus Black and the darkness that would soon consume his mind. Better that he separate from her now then when she found out who he truly was, what he had been born to be. He would make his parents and his family proud. But what of Indigo? What would she think of Reg's new path, his original path. What did it matter? He loved her, but it had become more than obvious the feeling was not mutual. What should she even care what he made of himself?

Regulus headed the opposite way of Bella as she left, giving a quick wave of his wand to reassemble the suit of armor, he couldn't leave a trail. He headed for the dungeons, but he wouldn't be heading towards the commonroom. He would be sneaking into the forest via one of the secret passages. He couldn't risk anyone seeing him sneaking through the grounds. In the dungeons the only person he may see was a younger year Slytherin breaking curfew who would either not know enough about Reg to care or know enough to forget what he'd seen as soon as he saw it. Of course there was no guarantee he would find what...or rather who he was looking for in the forest, but he had a hunch.