Deadly Nightmares (for Bella)

[bella]

For whatever reason, I decided to go back into the forest. Something was there, and it was calling to me. I wanted to go in there, some odd pull calling me there. I knew I wanted it to be Drew in the dense foliage, loving how the strange and unfamiliar place held such good memories of me and him. But as I followed the path, and I was certain it was the exact same we’d traveled along together, something was quite out of place. The forest held that eerie sense that scared me, because I didn’t have his hand to hold anymore. I felt so very alone, but I knew I wasn’t. Something or someone; it was with me. I could feel it’s presence, but of just what or who it was, I couldn’t be sure.

I was so scared, frightened, wondering why I continued to walk forward further into the dark without a guide. But it was calling to me, I knew it was. But at the same moment, my mind screamed at me to run away. I wanted to run away. But I didn’t. I kept walking, right towards whatever it was. I was positive I was going the right way. And sure enough, suddenly a faint glow lit the dirt path I was on. A pale figure in a hospital gown stood straight ahead, a wrinkled hand extended towards me. She scared me, I screamed at myself to run away, but I just kept on walking, closer and closer with every step. Until I was in front of the dead figure, and I wanted to scream – because the woman was me. “Hello,” I echoed to myself, “Bella, what are you doing out here?” I asked myself in concern. I stared at the dead me, feeling faint from the IVs strands connected to the arm of the corpse. “Bella, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t speak. I just stood right before myself, like I was in front of a mirror. “Isabella?” the dead me whispered, and I suddenly realized it wasn’t me at all – I was standing in front of my dead mother.

I let out a petrified scream, my fears finally catching up with my brain. I turned and I ran; I ran long and hard; I tried to escape the dark. And then that silly unicorn was there, galloping along side me acting as a light to guide me back to safety. But then my light disappeared, and I could see the deathly glow following me like an unwanted shadow. I screamed again, and then Drew caught me. How had he got here? He shook me firmly; I wasn’t running anymore. “Bella, what’s wrong?” he asked in concern, shaking me again. For a brief moment I was safe, until I wasn’t held by Drew any more, but the father I’d imagined I would have. He was strange and I didn’t know him – the man didn’t have a face; I’d never met my father. I screamed at him to let me go, but the echoing voice answered calmly in reply “Isabella honey, calm down, relax baby…it’s okay now…” Everything was not okay – I was going to die in here, because my dead mother was coming closer and my father was holding me there so she could finish me off. I screamed over and over again, but no one listened. No one ever listened.

Bella woke up with a start, suddenly completely wired and full of fear. She had to blink a few times before she recalled where she was, and how she’d gotten there. Bella lay stomach down in the Courtyard underneath what she called ‘her tree,’ her Potions book off to one side and her quill snapped in two in her fist. She took in a few shaky breaths, trying to calm herself down. It was just a dream, she told herself, just a dream. But she’d been having that same dream a lot, and each time it stole every ounce of sanity she had and replaced it with blind fear. What did it all mean? She let out a huff and pushed herself up, leaning her back against the base of the tree. Weakly she ran a hand through her hair, trying to focus. Potions, Bella, Potions – focus on Potions. She picked her book up and set it in her lap, trying to comprehend the words on the page. But it was gibberish, she didn’t understand a thing. Frustrated she set it back down beside her and leaned her head back against the bark as well, closing her eyes and steadily making her pulse go back to normal. Just a dream.

[bellbell]

Normally Potions was a very interesting class but today Bella couldn't seem to concentrate since her head ached from all the pointless worrying going on in her thoughts. Most of the thoughts were centered around her twin brother, Edward. He hadn't talked to her for a long time, and for some reason it was really getting on her nerves. She was his twin sister. She deserved some kind of communication from him. When at last class ended, Bella hastily walked out of the classroom. At times like this, it was very easy for her to lose control on her temper....and her power. Bella shivered as she remembered the incident in the muggle world, when her temper had gotten out of control. She had killed a muggle. Her desire for his death had been so great, and the words in her mind at that time were so...wonderful, somehow. She shivered again when the image of the boy's burnt corpse floated into mind. So much damage had been done, and that was only the minimum of her anger. She let out a sigh as she continued down the hallway towards the courtyard. On days like these, it was one of the best places to be to calm her mind.

Upon entering the courtyard, Bella noticed a girl leaning against a tree. A Hufflepuff. As her vision adjusted to the light, she immediately recognized who it was. Isabella Swan. She had heard all about the girl who held the same name as her from Edward. He had been so enthusiastic about talking to her. Bella knew jealousy when she felt it. Why had her brother been so excited to talk to anyone but his own twin? It was really getting on her nerves. The desire to hex Isabella was only brief when she noticed how fearful she looked. Curious as to why Isabella was scared, Bella walked toward the girl. "Isabella?" asked Bella, smiling "You seem a bit tense, did you remember something frightening?" So much about calming down. Bella could feel the anger burning in her heart. It was going take a lot of effort to calm down but she knew exactly what to do. She turned to look around at the plants, as a soft breeze caressed her hair. Nature was so soothing, it was the key to ending any anger that may be in Bella's heart.

Even though her emotions were thoroughly controlled, Bella's eyes had already switched to a unstable green. She knew they had switched from calm purple to unstable green when she felt the struggle of her alter ego. This was bad. Bella felt as though she wanted to scream. But resistance was a self rule that she would not willingly break. She turned back to look at the Hufflepuff that still leaned against the tree. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. Why had she apologized? There wasn't anything to be sorry about. "Are you okay?" she asked "You look a little pale. Did something happen?". Bella blinked back tears, they wouldn't fall. They couldn't fall, or else everything she worked for would have been for nothing. But why was she crying? There wasn't anything to be sad about. She was being childish. Old memories. Old pain. They were her past. She was in the present. Bella breathed slowly, making sure to not faint. This was becoming ridiculous. Why didn't she just leave, it would be so much more easier to calm down that way.

(OOC: Bella really likes Isabella as a friend, but she's close to having a break down...)

[bella]

OOC: Heh, likewise. ^^


Just a dream, Bella repeated over and over, trying to make herself believe the words. She knew it could never happen; how would her mother ever come back to life? That was childish thinking – she had to stop. But she just couldn’t; the nightmare came so frequently now she’d memorized it to the point that she knew what was coming even as she dreamed it. The only switch that ever occurred in the dream was that sometimes it was Regulus catching her instead of Drew; she could easily justify that switch. Regulus had been there with her, and naturally whether awake or asleep, he was internally connected to memories alongside her mother. Regulus had been her comfort then, but today it had been Drew’s comfort she wanted more. Bella had also narrowed down another reason why sometimes they switched: some days Bella just didn’t want to think about her mother. Period. Otherwise she would go insane. Regulus knew about her mother; he would know what was wrong. She hadn’t told Drew yet; he wouldn’t know what was wrong. He could distract her and make her laugh even if all she wanted to do was sink towards the ground and cry.

“Isabella?” Bella’s eyes jolted open and she leaped what felt like an entire foot into the air. Quickly she steadied herself with one palm on to the tree, but all over she was still shaken. “Bella,” she breathed out quickly, firmly, “Bella.” No would had any right to call her Isabella – especially now. Only her mother had ever called her by her full name; now that she was dead, she’d never have to hear the name again. And then she focused entirely, realizing she’d probably just confused the girl in front of her. She’d recognize her anywhere: Bella Evangeline, Edward’s sister. They hadn’t ever talked – of course she wouldn’t know not to call her by her first name. “I mean,” she said more slowly, her heart still pacing faster then normal, “Could you please call me Bella?” Weakly she ran her free hand through her hair once more, trying to calm down. It was okay – it was just the Evangeline girl; her mother wasn’t here. She was miles away, buried six feet under.

“I’m sorry, are you okay? You look pale. Did something happen?” Bella laughed dryly, nodding her head slightly. Of course she would look just as pale as her mother had in her dreams. Bella probably looked worse, as riled up as she was. “Um, yeah, sort of…” she muttered, trying to figure out her thoughts that she could safely tell the fourth year and evade pressing questions. “It was just a nightmare, that’s all…it’s nothing…” Bella wiped a hand over her eyes, rubbing out the tense tiredness there. “Um, what about you?” she asked, finally letting go of the tree; she’d regained her balance. “No offense, but you don’t look like you’ve had the best of days either. Is it anything I can help you with?” That would distract her – let’s focus on someone else’s problems, forget about yours. “I could go see if I could find Edward, if it’s a family thing…” she offered wildly, trying to think through coherently. “I know I might not be the best shrink in the world, but…” Bella shrugged, “I am here if you want.”

[bellbell]

How ridiculous she looked, Bella didn't know. With her unstable green eyes blinking back tears, she knew she must look like someone who needed therapy. Bella sighed, she might as well get used to being around this Isabella girl, otherwise she might actually hex her some other time when she couldn't control her temper. 'Bella,' Isabella had said, Bella turned to look at her 'Bella.' she said again. It took her a minute to fully understand that Isabella hadn't been talking to her. 'Could you please call me Bella?' amended Isabella. Bella didn't know how she'd thought of the name but quickly replied, "Can I call you Isa, instead?" she said firmly. She had no desire to call Isabella, 'Bella' because it made her feel as though her existence as Bella Evangeline was a fraud. It made her feel even more pathetic and useless than she already was. Like an existence without a cause. Bella shuddered, maybe she was an existence with a cause.

Isabella's laughter drowned out Bella's thoughts as she refocused on the Hufflepuff girl. Why had she laughed? Had she said something funny? Bella ignored the anger that came back. A nightmare? Isabella had been scared of a nightmare? Bella looked amazed at her. What kind of an nightmare caused someone to look so.....vunerable? 'Um, what about you?' asked Isabella. What about me? asked Bella dryly in her head. 'No offense, but you don't look like you've had the best of days either. Is it anything I can help you with?' The question had caught her off guard. Bella frowned, no could help her not even her own brother. She was about to say that when in her mind, she saw Edward. Edward. She began shaking as her green eyes darkened to a very unstable forest green.

It happened all too fast, Bella's knee's weakened and she fell to the ground. The tears she had been trying to keep from falling, came. She couldn't stop...."Edward...!" she whispered "Edward.." Why didn't he talk to her? Had she done something bad? Bella closed her eyes and hid her face in her hands. She was such a cry baby, always ending people's good days with her useless worries. She was so pathetic. One of her self rules was to never let anyone see her cry, she had broken that rule. Idiot, she whispered in her head, Idiot.

[bella]

Bella blinked a few times, trying to remain her mental stability – or at least what she had left of it. “Um, yeah, sure – whatever you want. Isa is fine.” What did it matter anyways? And then she realized it might be a bit awkward, calling some by your own name. It would make you sound like you were talking to yourself, which just wasn’t right. Bella was all too aware how it felt to be speaking to yourself, her dead mother flashing across her vision. She shook her head, trying to get the nightmare out of her head. But it wasn’t leaving; it was like a permanent stain inflicted into her memory.

But for whatever problems she was having, the Gryffindor seems to have just as many if not more. Indeed, she looked like she was on the verge of just breaking down right here and now. Bella wasn’t exactly sure what to do – try and comfort her or just back away slowly before she got caught in the cross fire? Before she could make up her mind, she really did crack down: the girl fell to the ground and began to sob so uncontrollably Bella felt all the more lost – what had she said?

Quickly Bella knelt down beside her and wrapped her in hug, running a hand through her hair. “It’s alright, Bella, it’s alright. What’s wrong? Please Bella, calm down…” Between the sobs, Bella scarcely made out the moans of “Edward!” over and over again. Bella realized her mistake, knowing her offer had gone horribly astray. “W-what’s wrong with him?” Bella stammered out stupidly, not understanding what was wrong. “Does he need help?” But if Edward was in harms way, why would his sister be out here, and not with him? “Bella, what’s wrong?” she repeated, foolishly feeling tears trickle down her own cheeks.

[bellbell]

Hot, salty tears streamed from Bella's face "Edward...!" She could see Isabella's mouth move as she said something. But Bella couldn't hear. The world was already darkening. She closed her eyes. In her mind she saw her muggle foster-mother. It was the time she had accidently dropped a plate. Suddenly everything was red. Blood. Then something warm held her. Bella opened her eyes to see that Isabella had pulled her into a embrace. How could she have been so selfish? She was making Isabella worried....how perfectly vulgar of her to push her own troubles onto someone else. She had to stop. But it was too hard to resist. Her desire to cry was too much to control and too much for her to take.

The tears fell even quicker now, as her unstable green eyes switched to rare blue (her eyes didn't turn blue often). "Oh, why did I have to be Gryffindor??" whispered Bella, hoarsely. "Why couldn't I have been sorted into--" Hufflepuff with Edward?? Bella closed her eyes, the picture of her foster mother coming back. Something wet was falling on her hair. Mother. At first she saw nothing and then her mother was right beside her. Her mothers pale hand was coming towards her. Bella winced, expecting the hand to slap her,"Mother, I'll be a good girl..I promise.." said Bella, as she was pushed back into the terrors of her muggle home.

Suddenly the courtyard disappeared, she could see someone coming toward her. Mother. Of course it wasn't her mother, she knew, it was her foster-mother. She felt tears stream from her eyes as the woman came towards her, "Mother....please don't hit me....I'm sorry...." Bella cringed as she felt a sharp pain across her back. She could see the drops of blood mixing with her tears. Her mother had disappeared and now in her place was her muggle foster-father....Bella weakly raised her hand towards him, "Father....don't hate me....". He slapped her hand away and smirked as he faded into the black background and then at last the final horror came....she saw the corpse of the boy she killed. His life had barely began and she had ended it. She stared at his lifeless, unmoving body, I'm sorry....I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! she shouted in her mind. It was entirely her fault. Bella removed her hands from her face, they were dripping with a red liquid. Blood. Bella fainted. I'm sorry

[bella]

“Bella?” she asked the Gryffindor in concern, trying to calm her but at a loss how. Isabella herself had been so emotional lately, she wanted to just break down and cry right along side her. But she couldn’t do that, not when she clearly had problems of her own. Bella needed her to be sane for a moment, to try and help her…even if she didn’t know how. “Bella, are you okay?” She kept muttering Edward over and over again, another something about her mother and father. “Bella?” she repeated, firmer this time.

Visions of her own painful past where beginning to resurface, and try as best as she could, Isabella couldn’t force them back down. God, you don’t need to start too… But she was staring at her mother’s dead corpse again, running down the path again, and Drew came to save her, but then it was her faceless father. Bella, don’t think about those things… But it was too late; foolishly tears began to brim her eyes, and she couldn’t do anything to stop them.

Isabella focused on trying to make the Gryffindor feel better, burying her own fears as deep as she could. Weakly she ran her hand through Bella’s hair again, trying to sooth her. “What is it? I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong…” Isabella cradled the weeping girl, trying her best to not allow any more of her own tears flow. She persisted in muttering out Edward’s name, but Isabella didn’t want to get up and leave her to go find him. “Bella…?”

[bellbell]

'What is it? I can't help---' Bella could hear someone speaking. Help me? How could anyone help me. Bella opened her eyes, blinking her eyes to keep the hot tears from falling. How long she had sobbed, she didn't know. How long she was unconscious was also unknown to her as well. Someone held her close. It was nice and warm. Bella realized she was in Isabella's arms. Damn... she thought as she scrambled out of Isabella's grasp. How long had she been held? Has she been seen by anyone? Bella fearfully looked around. No one. She let out the breath she had been holding.

Thinking, Bella tried to remember what she had done. She shuddered, remembering the dream of her past. Her past in the muggle world. Her mother. Her father. And.....that boy. She shuddered again when the image of corpse once again floated into her mind. How horrible. How ghastly. How disgusting. She had killed him with her hands. She couldn't ever wash away the memory, and her hands remained impure and covered in the red of the boy's blood.

'Bella?' Bella heard her familiar name as she suddenly remembered where she was. She was in the courtyard. She had broke down crying in front of Isabella Swan, a Hufflepuff. The fear grew, "Yes?" croaked Bella "....nothing is wrong...I'm fine...." It really was nothing....all that she was sad about was her brother not talking to her. Bella stood up, and paced in front of Isabella, trying to relax. Calm down.... she thought.

[bella]

Isabella practically staggered backwards onto the ground as Bella pushed her away, suddenly near embarrassment and wanting nothing to do with her it seemed. She stared at her in perplexion, trying to understand what she could have possibly done. What had she said? Bella had kept muttering Edward; she’d mentioned finding her brother for her; but then Bella had just sobbed out his name, over and over, but Edward wasn’t hurt, she’d already decided that… What on earth was wrong?

“Nothing?” Isabella echoed, standing up and placing her hands on her hips. Bella walked back in front of her, tear still streaming and her face flushed, “Nothing? she repeated, almost aggravated. She knew she shouldn’t yell at her, but Isabella’s voice was slightly louder then normal. “Nothing?! How can you say nothing?! You just broke down right in front of me and you’re going to try and tell me nothing is wrong? We all have problems Bella; trust me, I of all people know. And speaking form experience, it does you no good to keep it to yourself. I’m right here and ready to listen – if you had any ounce of sense in that brain of yours, you’d tell me what’s going on.”

Isabella stood them for a moment longer fuming foolishly when the last ting the Gryffindor needed was someone snapping at her. But Isabella had enough of her own problems; although it wasn’t right to take them out on an innocent by stander either. She let out a huff, her anger subsidizing. “Alright, sorry, uncalled for…” Isabella held up her hands in surrender, hoping she hadn’t truly offended her. “But you really should tell someone. I mean, I know we’re not the best of friends, but clearly no one else has been willing to listen to you…or you just haven’t let them.” Isabella let her hands drop, and then ran one through her hair, closing her eyes to think for a moment. “If you won’t tell me, is there someone I can help find so you can tell them?” That seemed like a safe enough question – she hadn’t out rightly said Edward’s name, when clearly it caused her so much pain. And then something clicked, Isabella’s eyes lighting up. “It’s him, isn’t it?” she asked quietly, “Edward, right? Did…did something happen between you two?” Isabella tried to keep an open mind, hoping she wasn’t about to be yelled at in return to poking her nose where it didn’t belong, but knowing she deserved it all the same.

[bellbell]

Bella didn't speak, she just stood there listening to Isabella yell at her. She couldn't tell her. Bella closed her eyes, feeling the wind blow against her cheek, "Isa.....I have nothing to tell or say that would require your concern." replied Bella, her purple eyes deepening to a darker purple. She knew that she had sounded very heartless.....but this was how things were. People shouldn't concern themselves with Bella's life unless they were brought into it by a specific reason or they were caught in the battle between her true self....and her darks side (her alter ego). Bella pursed her lips, "Experience or not....this topic is not up for conversation," said Bella looking at Isabella emotionlessly. This was as it was supposed to be, Isabella would have no part in this battle. Only misery and death would be the result of such including.

Isabella held such pain in her eyes....Bella didn't want to bring any more pain to those innocent eyes, even if meant breaking any hope of friendship. Duty is duty, and not everything in the world was fair. Fairness didn't exist in the world, Bella had already learned that during the time her parents died and she was sent into the home of cruel muggles. She had worked and had been beaten. Her entire life was bloody and dark.......even her own hands were dripping with blood. The blood of the boy she killed.

Bella stood unmoving, listening to the distant sound of laughter.....it was so faraway...the laughter was like a dream, non-existent....'It's him, isn't it? Edward, right?'..Bella winced at the sound of his name, her breath quickening in horror. How could she guess so accurately?....Bella narrowed her eyes. She had said his name during her breakdown. But, did she know that they were in a "unsocial" state?..."You don't need to know whether or not it has anything to do with..." Bella winced as she tried to say his name "...Edward..." Bella walked toward a tree opposite of the one Isabella stood next to. She stroked it rough bark, ignoring the stinging of pain. Then without hesitation she reached up and pulled off a leaf from its branch. Bella admired its velvety softness and lovely shade of green. It had been a long time since she had actually looked at a leaf....people's lives were like leaves and trees. The tree was all life. The new leaves were the newborns, the leaves that eventually darkened were matured adults and the leaves that fell off...were the dead and the fruits that carried seeds...were the hope of a next generation.

It had been a long time since Bella had tried talking to Edward....and so she decided to finally give it another try...Edward?... Bella asked in her mind, since she and Edward were twins they were able to talk mentally Edward?... No answer. Bella looked down at her feet, the tears once again streaming from her face.

(OOC: Ermmmm....I wonder if its possible for me to bring Ed in here?)

[bella]

OOC: Certianly! There's nothing exactly against it in the rules, and I've had one with both Bella and Kalib in it before. *Shrugs* Besides, help along with dis little plotty here. ^^ Go for it; I'll wait. :]

[edevang]

Edward had been bored the entire day, his thoughts swirled around his aching head. Bella. He hadn't talked to her for so long, no doubt she was probably getting depressed. But there was hardly anything to say....other than a few hello's and goodbyes and how are yous. They were in different houses, how could she expect anything more? Their relationship as twins were being severed slowly. House rivalry was taking its course and it was making them distant. Edward sighed, too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice the love-sick girls that flocked over to him when his class ended.

He was about to go to his next class when he noticed two girls in the courtyard. Isabella Swan.....and his sister, Bella. Why were they alone in the courtyard? He wondered suddenly curious. He would be ditching Herbology today, after all. He smiled, he didn't like the class so it didn't really matter to him.....much.

Silently and carefully Edward crept toward them, making sure that no one saw him as he did. ..Edward...? whispered a voice ..Edward?... It was Bella, she was trying to speak to him mentally again. He wouldn't answer. He soon regretted not answering, Bella had begun crying again. And he knew that it was because he had once again ignored her.

Edward could tell that Isabella had also cried, from the looks of her puffy red eyes and pale face. They were both in bad condition. What was going on here? At first he decided to remain hidden and to eavesdrop on their conversation. But Bella would probably get a vision....and find out. So, he decided that he had no other choice but to walk up to them, in the flesh, and say hello.

He tried to make himself look as casual as he could, placing his hands in a relaxed sort of way behind his head as he strode towards the depressed pair. He made himself for obvious....but they hadn't noticed him.....yet. He cleared his throat trying to catch their attention..."Hey Izzy.....and my dear, Bella" said Edward casually, hoping that he had hid the curiosity from his voice. "What are you two doing out here?....are you okay?" said Edward allowing the worry to creep into his voice.

[bellbell]

((your turn))

[bella]

OOC: Yes, terribly sorry! Vas has just been keeping me bust is all. ^^


Isabella glowered, knowing it was unfair but rather annoyed with Bella but all the same, she still was. She didn’t know what to do with crying people and even she tried to help them, it always backfired in her face. Now, was that entirely Bella’s fault? Well, no, but Isabella felt like blaming it on her anyways. “Well then what I am supposed to do?” she asked weakly, her worry clouding her anger – clearly something was wrong with the Gryffindor, and because Isabella was finding no way to help her she was allowing worry to rule her.

She had basically given up hope in trying to help when out of no where he showed up, like Isabella’s own personal miracle to save her from the weeping girl: “Hey Izzy…and my dear Bella, what are you doing out here? Are you okay?” The unsuccessfully masked concern in his voice was quite the sensation, sending a small chill up her spine. Focus Bella, she told herself vaguely, trying to follow her own orders.

“Um…” What exactly do you tell someone? Oh yes Edward, this is Bella – yeah, your sister, I know. Well, she just had an emotional breakdown and is refusing my help – I blame you, she kept muttering your name. Now what do you have to say for yourself? Yeah, that would go over great. “Um,” Isabella tried again with no greater result. And then it just sort of spilled out “Edward, I don’t know what it up between you tow but you have to talk to her, because she just started cry the moment I mentioned your name – what was I supposed to do? Help her! At this rate you’re apparently the only one who can.” Childishly she folded her arms over her chest, still irked about being rejected. Silly, but rational in her mind.

decided OOC to have thead e n d

[bellbell]

RP discontinued.