Issue Five

[rita]

I'm sorry for the delay, readers! I've been out collecting dirty gossip and living my own life, which has been sadly lacking lately. But here is your news for the week, and hopefully all this information will last you a good, long time.

Scoop 1: Adelaide Mahoney breaking mirrors in the bathroom? It's rumored to be bad luck, dearest. Horrible luck. I have a feeling I'll be writing more about you soon, and not to your liking.

Scoop 2: Apparently, Kara Wise signed Olivier's yearbook with a steamy love confession. I'm sure a good look at her diary would reveal all her dirty little dreams about him as well. What a naughty girl! I like it.

Scoop 3: A rumor has proved to be true: Domino Coburn is lusting after the shy Gryffindor prince, Remus Lupin. I hope you're reading this, Izzy darling. You might want to take care of that competition before you rest easy tonight. I would hate to see the world's strongest couple collapse. (Again)

Scoop 4: Alecto Carrow and Sirius Black have recently been confirmed as a couple. They were also seen apparating out to, as of now, an unknown spot. Coincidence? Doubt it. Knowing Alecto, they went into a nice, dark place. If I hadn't seen Sirius since then with my own eyes, I would lay down a bet that the black widow has finally sunk her poison in. Watch out, Black.

Scoop 5: It seems that Rab Lestrange and Khai Statton have finally split. I think we all expected it, really. Can't say I'm surprised, anyway. It is reported that Ludo Bagman is the one that wedged himself between them. I'm sure the gap was big enough to drive a hippogriff through, though. It wouldn't have taken much. The biggest surprise here should be that it wasn't Rab doing the cheating. Who would have thought? Anyway, Statton decided to visit her ex-darling in the hospital wing, but it appeared that Izzy Swan was there. Now that, is a surprise. I take it the meeting didn't go as planned. Swan being friendly with Lestrange? Something smells rotten here. Add to that Statton sneaking out to visit the Ravenclaw common rooms and we seem to have a love square...or even a pentagon.

Scoop 6: Not many family feuds go public. This one, though, has received the honor. Drake Valo and Sid Darley went at it in the hallways, and little Miss Swan got herself involved again. She sure likes to get her name mentioned, doesn't she? Sid punching Bella in the face, though, was the climax of this fight. I've been told that Drake would have basically killed Sid if Remus and Rabastan hadn't showed up. Remus...I've got to tell you, darling. Izzy and Rab being mentioned together so many times might need to be investigated by someone other than me.

Scoop 7: Speaking of Drake Valo, it seems he may have more than fights on his hands. Specifically, Isabelle Laurentine. Seems like Izzy Swan didn't like this: she stormed out after a note from Valo and left the classroom. Is that a new trend? It seems I'll have to try it sometime.

Scoop 8: Darley and Cissa a couple? Who didn't see this coming? They seem to be the best placed match, personality wise, that you can come up with. What may not be so expected is Andromeda and Valo. Did he get tired of waiting for both Izzy and Laurentine? I think the bigger question is this: the Black sisters aren't getting any closer, and neither is Valo and Darley. But what if their families end up tied? What then?

Enough to last you, yes?