new ways to 'fall, apart

[Daciana Gamp]

Daciana’s winter break had, for the most part, been just as good as she had expected it to be.

The Yule Ball seemed to have been a freaking disaster for almost everyone, but at least Daciana had looked hot. After picking the blonde Hufflepuff up off of the bathroom floor and sneaking the little mess into her dormitory, they had gone to sleep without much ado (although it had taken longer than usual for Daciana to actually doze off). The morning had been slightly awkward, and Daciana had to rush her out before any of her housemates realized that she had a mudblood in the dormitories, but then everyone was so focused on packing up for the train ride back to London that the rest of the day had occurred in a blur. And then she was in a compartment with her brother, and everything seemed so normal compared to the night before. She was back into the world she was born into, the world she was supposed to stay in.

For the Gamp family, Christmas was very much a family affair. By family affair, Daciana of course meant countless social gatherings with her extended family (all right proper stuck ups – she had to get it somewhere) as well as society parties for only the purest of the pure. She put on the fancy dresses, made small talk with whomever her parents shoved her way, and even gotten away with sneaking off with a cup of some particularly strong eggnog every now and then. The holidays always had been a good distraction. They were easy, and the young Slytherin was more than able to slip into the role she had been crafted to play. It was how it always was. It was better, Daciana told herself, to play this role numbly than to be faced with other concerns at school.

You see, Daciana’s life had been mudblood-free for the past few months.

It was how she liked it. Maybe. It was how she was supposed to like it – and wasn’t that enough, anyway? Wasn’t that more important?

And if she maybe secretly decided that muggleborns – that maybe-

Stop, she would tell herself. She didn’t care how Vanessa Vaughn had made out after she had left the brunette’s vicinity. She didn’t even care about whatever it was that happened between Nessa and Emmeline. She had only owled Vance because…because she really hated her and because it was all her fault that she had to pick up the pieces that had been Vanessa Vaughn. That was all. If she had really cared, she wouldn’t be avoiding everyone in black and yellow robes.

Like Gabby Rivera. (Who she certainly did not care about. In the least.)

Well, ole Sluggy had certainly put an end to that. When he had caught Daciana in the dungeon and chatted her up about her parents and her grade, he had implied that Daciana should pass their project grade on to her potions partner. It wasn’t like Daciana could say ‘no,’ she couldn’t hold out on another person’s grade, even if that person was a muggleborn Hufflepuff who was far too nice for her own good. So naturally, Daciana had sent Gabby a note informing her of their achievement – that’s all. And if she was accidently a little nicer than she had wanted to be, well, that was only because she didn’t want to have to hear the shorter girl cry or something.

It wasn’t as if she liked her, or anything.

But of course the Hufflepuff had wanted to celebrate, which, if Daciana was being honest, was both flattering and irritating. Irritating because Daciana kind of reveled in the fact that she scared the crap out of most people, and flattering because… because… huh. Daciana couldn’t actually pinpoint why she was flattered. The Slytherin shook away the thought as she pushed open the door to the clock tower with her shoulder. The sun was only beginning to make its way down from the sky, creating a dimmed though obvious source of light that shone through the building’s open windows. Daciana trudged up the stairs, coming up to gaze upon large, slowly turning cogs. Gabby wasn’t here yet, but Daciana was content to wait and take in the view. She would come here sometimes when she had a rather large joint to get rid of; the open space was good for airing out any smoke-smell, and it was just far enough out of the way for most students to be too lazy to explore. It would be a good place for enjoying some brownies. The brunette couldn’t help but smirk to herself. She had been wary about spending time with Gabriella when she didn’t have to, but when the small Hufflepuff had suggested brownies, a mischievous idea buried itself into Daciana’s mind. Daciana had to make brownies. For Daciana, her way was really the only recipe she liked these days.

It had been easier making them than she thought it would be. Daciana had already had the weed – it was the process of cooking it into a confectionary that would prove more challenging. The Slytherin was pleasantly surprised then when the kitchen turned out to have each ingredient she needed (well, it was a kitchen after all). She simply bullied the house elves into letting her use some eggs, chocolate, flour, the works, and then baked it in the kitchen’s oven. Those house elves were fortunately susceptive to threats and blackmail, and they thought the odd smell meant that she had only burnt them, and so her special brownies were baked without half the trouble she had expected. They even tasted (for the most part) just like regular brownies (thanks to the extra amounts of sugar she added to balance out the Mary-Jane).

Daciana looked down fondly at the delicious-looking finished product that she held on a plate, and couldn’t help but notice anticipation bubbling within her. She had an excuse to get high – something she always welcomed - and she was going to get high with the ever-innocent Gabriella Rivera.

“About time, Rivera. Hope you saved room for dessert.”

(gabby)!

[Gabriella Rivera]

To say the least, Gabby was...well, she was nervous about tonight. She wasn't very good at talking to people whom she wasn't friends with. It was why she sucked at making new friends - she just didn't know what to say since she was constantly worried that they would think she was stupid or naive, or she would actually say something stupid, or something to offend them. She'd gotten lucky with the friends she'd managed to make, and kind of believed that, if it hadn't been for Gideon, she might not have had that many to begin with, because she would have remained in the shadows the entire time. But, somehow, she managed to get a pretty great group of friends, like Emmeline and Lyle and Stefan and Jayden and Mica. It was true that most of them were Hufflepuffs (bar Stefan, Imogen and Gracie), but that was only because it was easier to see them all the time. Plus, Gryffindors and Slytherins made her nervous (Gryffindors because they were so impressive, and Slytherins because they were kind of mean and scary), and Ravenclaws were intimidating in their own way because they were just so smart. So when Daciana Gamp, whom she hadn't spoken to since they had finished their project, had passed her a folded-up note, Gabby had been both excited to receive it, and incredibly anxious to see what it was. And then, when the Slytherin informed him it was about their grade, and then proceeded to tell her how well they had done, Gabby had been so incredibly pleased, that the offer to celebrate had sort of been...blurted out. If you could blurt out something on paper, anyway. And she'd sent the note over without thinking, and had chastised herself afterwards because of course Daciana wouldn't want to celebrate with her, she obviously couldn't get away from her fast enough after their project was done. But since Gabby thought it would be rude to take the offer back, she'd suggested making brownies.

And had been incredibly shocked when Daciana actually agreed.

To be honest, the brunette had read over the note a few times to make sure she wasn't imagining it before responding, she'd been that surprised. And then she had become very excited because maybe, just maybe, Daciana actually genuinely liked Gabby, enough to celebrate with her at least and Gabby had walked around Hogwarts practically on cloud nine the entire day thinking that maybe she was actually likable, even to Slytherins who generally didn't seem to like...well, anyone. And even though she remembered Gideon's warnings about Slytherins like Paris, Daciana didn't seem anything like the cruel boy who'd made her do his homework and pretty much made her feel worthless. For one thing, she seemed to be too smart to ask anyone, let alone someone like Gabby, help on her homework. And for another thing...well, she'd been genuinely nice in her notes. Nicer than she had been before, anyway. And Gabby had to wonder if she'd grown on her or something. Or maybe Daciana had just been in a really good mood. Honestly, Gabby didn't know what to think anymore, which was why she was nervous about tonight. Cards on the table? Daciana scared her a little.

Or maybe a lot.

She took her time picking out an outfit, deciding to go with a sweater she'd never worn before, one of the many things Lyle's mother had bought for her during their shopping spree in New York, and a skirt that she usually reserved for special occasions. She matched the sweater with her customary pair of knee socks, which she had taken to wearing ever since she'd been attacked by a werewolf, since the scars never went away and she was too ashamed of them to walk around with bare legs so that they clearly showed. She didn't know what she would do when summer came around and she felt like swimming. Probably she wouldn't, since she'd only feel incredibly uncomfortable. Then again, no one would notice them under water, would they? She had no idea, and would probably figure it out when the time came. For now, she took advantage of the fact that it was still kind of chilly and she could get away with wearing tights and high socks. Making a last-minute decision, Gabby grabbed her one and only coat in case it was colder than she had anticipated on the clock tower, fixed the buckle of her shoe, and then waved goodbye to Emmeline, telling her she'd be back before curfew for sure. She didn't know how long Daciana wanted to hang out with her for, but it couldn't be longer than a few hours, right? Shrugging, she shifted the backpack that contained the pumpkin juice she'd taken from the kitchen (with the house elves' permission, of course) until it was resting more comfortably and then left the dormitory.

The walk to the clock tower was a lot shorter than she remembered, but maybe that was because her anxiety remained the entire walk and only began building up as she walked up the stairs to get to the top, pushing the trap door open and clambering onto the platform. "Sorry, were you waiting long?" she asked, immediately feeling bad. "I'm sorry!"

[/color] she said again, sliding the backpack off her shoulders. "I got pumpkin juice! And some other snacks, too."[/color] she said, her voice a little more high-pitched than usual due to her nerves. "And a blanket, too, so we'd have somewhere to sit,"[/color] she added, putting down the flasks and taking out the object in question, spreading it out on the floor. Now it almost seemed like a picnic, but Gabby hadn't wanted their legs and butts to get cold from the cold marble! She sat down and curled her legs next to her and then looked at Daciana expectantly. "Your brownies smell really good, by the way!"[/color]

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

[Daciana Gamp]

Daciana had tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and pushed off against the wall when Gabby entered the clock tower. She couldn’t help but smirk a little at the Hufflepuff’s immediate need to apologize for everything. Was it because Gabby was so considerate that she tried to cover her bases, or was she really that insecure in her actions? Daciana recalled when they had worked on their potions project; then it too seemed as if Gabby apologized for each thing she did or said that could have even possibly offended or perturbed the other girl. Why was that? Daciana had the mind to ask as much: “You don’t have to do that, you know. Apologize more than profusely for every little thing.” After all, Gabriella had already said ‘sorry’ twice within the first thirty seconds that she arrived. Did it irritate Daciana? A little bit. Less than it should have, unfortunately. A part of her imagined stalking over the shorter girl and leveling a glare her way, and Daciana knew that she probably would have (should have) done something of that sort if it weren’t for the safety of being secluded in the quiet clock tower. Daciana couldn’t quite say why she didn’t bother being outwardly horrible to Gabby Rivera. Or rather, maybe she could, but she just didn’t want to.

Or, it scared her a little too much.

“You’re fine, I wasn’t waiting too long, no,” Daciana added, although her greeting had probably implied otherwise. Better to mess with their minds a little, she thought, than to outwardly take anything back or have them mess with yours. She too dropped down easily onto the blanket, still balancing the plate in her hands and mentally thanked the Hufflepuff for bringing it. Daciana hadn’t thought too much ahead about where they would sit – she was too caught up in how to cook the brownies (and if she could cook them so the other girl wouldn’t be able to taste the difference). The extra snacks had been a good idea too, and Daciana berated herself for not thinking of munchies either, although she had figured that if they simply ate the whole batch of brownies, they’d be satiated. Possibly.

“You’re thoughtful,” Daciana commented in regard to the blanket and snacks, not sure if it actually sounded like the compliment she might have meant it to be. She wiggled on the blanket a little, crossing her legs and getting comfortable, before setting the plate of brownies down next to the juice and such that Gabby had brought. She was glad that she had decided to change into jeans after she was done with classes now that they were sitting on the floor. Daciana rolled up the sleeves of her striped jacket and reached over to grab a flask some pumpkin juice. ”Thanks,” she said finally in response to Gabby’s own compliment, “so have one.” She nudged the plate toward the Hufflepuff encouragingly before taking a swig of her pumpkin juice and giving what she hoped was a friendly smile. But, Daciana didn’t do friendly, not even with her friends. She used snark and smirks and snickers to communicate with her friends. Even at society events, she had a special demure quirk of the lips that she wasn’t sure qualified as a full expression at all. She hoped she was still a little convincing. She could be convincing, surely?

Why she was even trying this friendly thing…well it was because Gabby would probably be freaking hilarious stoned. And maybe, like Nessa, Gabby wouldn’t be so bad to talk to when no one else was paying attention. Gabriella was trusting but smart, and a large part of Daciana was curious about what would end up coming out of the Hufflepuff’s mouth once the drugged brownies took effect.

As if to lead by example, Daciana grabbed a brownie for herself and took a bite of the chocolaty square. She leaned back, bracing herself with her arm as she chewed; it tasted for the most part like your average brownie. It was a little sweet from the extra sugar she put in and it seemed to have a little spice to it, but that could easily be cinnamon. They were pretty darn good, Daciana decided. Sure she had made pot brownies before, but she had never gone so far to mask the secret ingredient inside when it was just her and her friends. ”Hmm,” she hummed satisfied with herself, “I think I did pretty well.” She eyed her brownie happily before looking back at the other girl and rising an eyebrow expectantly, trying to keep the edges of her mouth from creeping up into her usual smirk.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Smiling gratefully when Daciana said she was thoughtful and trying not to appear too outwardly confused by the fact that the Slytherin was, once again, being genuinely nice to her, Gabby took off her shoes and placed them next to the blanket since they were starting to pinch her feet already. They were a few years old and she knew, deep down, that she'd outgrown them, but they were her most favourite and she didn't have very many other options when it came to shoes since they could get kind of expensive and she didn't want to ask her father for new ones, not when she had a few pairs and only one of them was especially uncomfortable. Plus, she didn't want to get the blanket dirty. "You're welcome," she replied with a bright smile and, not needing to be asked twice, Gabby reached out and took one of the offered brownies. She took a moment to sniff at them, appreciating the heavenly smell of baked goods and then bit into the chocolatey confection and then made a noise as if it was the best thing she'd ever tasted - which wasn't really much of an exaggeration. It did taste ridiculously good and Gabby eagerly bit into it a second time. In two more bites, she was licking crumbs off her fingers, her eyes brighter than usual. "Ay dios mio, these are really good, Daciana!"

[/color] she exclaimed, already reaching for seconds without being prompted. "They're a bit different from what I usually make them - do you use a special ingredient or something?"[/color] She tilted her head curiously. It definitely had more sugar then what she would personally use, but there was this other undertone of...something. She just couldn't quite pin it down, but it felt strangely addictive.

Gabby bit into her second one and picked up her cup to wash it down with pumpkin juice. By the time the brownie was finished and she was brushing the crumbs off her hands, the Hufflepuff was starting to feel kind of....weird. She was in a state of euphoria that was definitely unusual because she couldn't pinpoint exactly why she was so happy. It wasn't Daciana's presence because, quite obviously, the Slytherine made her more nervous than anything else. And even though sugar normally made her happy, this felt like a different type of happy. This was a...lighter one? She felt floaty and strange. In a....good way? Gabby scrunched up her face in confusion, took another sip of her pumpkin juice, and then picked up another brownie because, for some reason, the temptation was too great. She was on her fourth when things really got weird; she suddenly couldn't stop laughing. She'd been telling Daciana about her Potions homework (why had she been talking about that anyway? She couldn't remember) when the brunette started laughing. And not just regular laughter, but really loud, borderline obnoxious laughter that had her doubling over so that her forehead was against the blanket, holding her sides. The laugh attack lasted all of five entire minutes and then she was straightening up, wiping stray tears from her cheeks and, with some splattering of giggles, she reached for another brownie.

"These brownies taste like what I would think an orgasm would feel like,"[/color] she informed Daciana in a secretive manner, and then giggled again. "I mean, I've obviously never had one before, but I read about them in my novels and they're always described as something really, really great so I figure they're probably as good as these brownies and wow I am talking a lot am I talking a lot?"[/color] She didn't know what number brownie she was on, but she was seriously starting to feel like she was floating on a cloud or something like that and she didn't even know she had stood up until she started to twirl around which, haha, was actually really fun and she wished she was wearing one of those really poofy skirts that twirl around with you because even though the skirt she was wearing right now twirled and lifted just fine. It wasn't the same as if it had been the floaty material and super long, though. Normally she would be disappointed but for some reason the grin would never leave her face. It felt like she'd been spinning for hours when, in reality, it had only been a couple of minutes before dizziness overtook her and she found herself falling over, landing on her knees, and then her face. It should have hurt, and she knew it, but for some reason she felt no pain and only began giggling again as she struggled to sit up, fixing her skirt so that she wasn't accidentally flashing Daciana anymore. And oooh Daciana she'd forgotten that the Slytherin was still here but now that she was looking at her Gabby definitely remembered her and, still laughing and feeling like she was spinning even though she was sitting down, Gabby scooted closer and peered into the other girl's face. "Did you know you're very pretty? Well, you are. Very, very pretty. Your hair is made of black licorice and your eyes are made of - brownies!"[/color] She laughed because she obviously thought her comment was very clever and reached out to twirl a strand of Daciana's hair around her finger, all manners of personal space obviously being tossed out of the window. "And you scare me, but I like you anyway. You're very smart and intimidating and you make really good brownies. Do you want me to show you how much I like you?"[/color] she asked, always eager to please as she continued petting Daciana's hair because, well, it felt soft, like Moose's fur only longer and thus softer. Somehow.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

[Daciana Gamp]

At Gabriella’s enthusiastic approval of her special confectionaries, Daciana’s smirk turned into a full-blown, cheeky grin. She knew that her own little buzz would take a little longer to kick in than Gabby’s first-time-high would, but she would enjoy the wait if Gabby kept eating at the rate she had started. “Gracias chica,” she responded in kind. Daciana forgot sometimes that she wasn’t by far the only bilingual student at Hogwarts, and that the Hufflepuff before her had a shared knowledge of the Spanish language. She popped the rest of her first brownie into her mouth and took a moment to chew before shrugging nonchalantly, “I suppose you could say that.” Daciana reached for her pumpkin juice, and added, “Secret recipe,” while becoming secure enough to wink the other girl’s way. Daciana wasn’t quite sure what Rivera would do if she mentioned the marijuana in the baked goods, but she suspected it wouldn’t be the happiest reaction. Most people don’t like being drugged against their knowledge. But, Daciana reasoned, it wasn’t like she had slipped Gabby roofies or anything – weed was organic and safe. Well, safe in the Slytherin girl’s book anyway. Whatever. Daciana told herself that, either way, she didn’t care. It was worth it to mess with the muggleborn, to get her kicks out of seeing the smaller girl high as a kite, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

As Daciana reached for her second brownie of the evening, she realized that Gabriella was practically guzzling the chocolaty treats. Oh yes, this ought to be interesting. It didn’t take long before she could virtually see the glaze frost over Gabby’s brown eyes. A goofy expression came over the Hufflepuff’s face, and Daciana muffled a laugh and tried to act as though nothing was out of the ordinary. They struck up some small talk about school or something (Daciana was observing more than actually listening) when she too started to feel the effects of her special brownies seeping in. She had finished her second one when it came over her - it was a fuzzy sort of feeling, and for Daciana it seem to creep slowly through her head before expanding down to her limbs. She’d always liked the sensation because it kind of made her feel like a giant cotton ball, or rather cotton candy as the taste of sugar remained in her mouth. She nodded along absentmindedly with Gabby when all of a sudden the shorter girl burst out into a fit of laughter that had her basically rolling on the floor. Daciana looked at her incredulously for a second before giving in and sputtering into giggles herself. Really though, Gabriella’s face had like, exploded with mirth and she just looked so funny like this that Daciana’s head fell back in hilarity too. She was really feeling something now, but she still realized just how much Gabby was consuming – which made her unconsciously snort in her own laughter. “Hahaa whoaa there tiger, más despacio!” Daciana snickered and slid the plate of brownies away from the other girl after Gabby had grabbed another, though not before snatching one for herself.

The Slytherin almost dropped the confectionary, however, with Gabby’s next observation. “I cannot believe you just said that, but you’re so right,” Daciana drawled and stretched her legs out in front of her and to the side of where Gabriella was sitting. Wait. Did Rivera read…dirty books? Daciana let out a loud cackle, kicked her legs lightly is amusement of this new information. Oh, she liked this Gabby. Not that she didn’t like the sober Gabby – waaiiit a minut “You’re a virgin!” was the exclamation that escaped Daciana’s mouth. She wasn’t sure why it came out, it wasn’t as if she expected anything differently or had even been sexual herself, but for some reason these things that had slipped out of Gabriella pleased Daciana to hear. “If these brownies were orgasms though, we’ve…we’ve had quite a few,” Daciana said, her head feeling lighter and fluffier as she finished her most recent slice of the drugged dessert, “so that wouldn’t be…that wouldn’t make sense.” And then it seemed like her thoughts drifted off, and Daciana found herself wondering if any sort of chocolate product could induce orgasmic feelings in people. Or if a potion could….hey, that could be their next project! At this thought the Slytherin let out another laugh, only being drawn away from her head when she realized that Gabby was spinning and then falling back down.

“You’re making me dizzy,” she commented as her eyes unconsciously followed the girl’s movements around and around until she flopped back to the blanket. Daciana felt like she was starting to spin for a moment too, but when she found herself blinking at the Hufflepuff’s all-too-close face, she had a good idea why. A very good idea. Daciana reached up to feel her face. She better not blush, no way, Gamps didn’t do that and…she hit her cheeks lightly as if it would control any color rising to her face. She dropped her hands though when Gabby complimented her, taking it into as much stride as she had at the moment and tossing her hair back. “I know, I know. Haa, you make me sound delicious,” the Slytherin quipped back and laughed along with her classmate. Daciana reflexively tucked her legs back under her as she watched Gabriella fiddle with a strand of her hair. Stop! Hold on, no, she didn't say those out loud, did she? She needed to, she wanted to (she didn't). She wasn’t sure exactly how close in proximity Gabby was right now – she obviously didn’t have anything to measure the tiny distance right now – but she gathered that if another pureblood had spotted them, they were close enough for Daciana to have (in her right mind) been concerned. This made the sides of her mouth quirk up and something in her chest squirmed and…she was all warm and it was the drugs, the drugs, the drugs, and it was Gabby.

“You’re pretty too,” she blurted in an odd feeling of both candor and conflicted indignation. How was it that Gabby could just get away with being so nice to Daciana? Especially when Daciana could barely get in anything nice back toward, especially when Daciana wasn’t supposed to? For a minute, it felt as if a rubber band had wound its way around her skull, squeezing her mind. Then it was as if it snapped, releasing more fuzz and Daciana was floaty again. “I’m supposed to scare you,” Daciana hummed without thinking, “S’posed to scare you so you don’t like me, so I don’t like you, but I like you very much. You’re pocket-sized and happy and cute and polite and genuine…” she trailed off, ticking the list of qualities off on her fingers before getting lost in her speech. Was she thinking those things, or saying them out loud? What had she been saying again? She furrowed her brow and instinctively leaned into Gabby’s touch; oh, did it have something to do with why Gabby was petting her? Damn, Daciana had lost her grip.

Hold on, Gabriella had asked her something – she registered that! Okay, back in clock tower now, Daciana playfully chastised her stoned self and nodded along to the sound of the Hufflepuff’s sweet chirpy voice.

Sweet like brownies. Daciana pulled the plate back within their reach; she wished for such sweet things to never be too far away.