fell towards me;;

[kadence]

The morning after was always the toughest time.

It was like all the bad decisions, and not just your own, were out for everyone to see, splayed across your face in a shameful expression. It was like taking responsibility for everyone's embarrassments. Everyone's imperfections were just sitting right in front of you like a painting on display. Kiki Valentine hated the morning after. It represented everything she hated about herself, it was like everything she'd done wrong in her life came rushing back, all within a matter of seconds after opening her eyes and finding herself in someone elses bed. She hated the way her mouth tasted, she hated how she felt so dirty, she hated it all. She hated looking over and seeing who she'd ruined, seeing who she could never again be okay with. It didn't matter what anyone said; wake up next to a guy after a night like that, nothing will ever be the same. Kiki was a big believer in guys and girls being friends, but she contradicted herself every time, because nothing was ever the same. She got attached. She'd never admit it, but she did. And it was terrible; a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, knowing that she'd screwed up another friendship because she was drunk or stupid or lonely, or even just bored. The morning after was the worst time in the world.

This was nothing like that.


She could feel herself floating in the in between place; conscious but not fully awake, and the happiness radiating from her core was warming her from head to toe. Like Honeydukes chocolate, warmth was spreading to her fingertips, and she could feel the smile play across her mouth, even still half asleep. She was too happy right now, all the memories of last night washing over like a tidal wave in a hurricane, fast and relentless. It was an exhilarating feeling, this. Before she opened her eyes, she stretched her muscles reflexively, figuring out where she was in relation to him. One of her arms was draped loosely across his bare chest, his breathing so calming to her. Her other hand resting against her cheek, her hair flaring out behind her like it always did. Her eyes finally fluttered open, a yawn slipping out before she could control it. She looked up at him, and it was like the realization she'd had last night happened all over again. It was still Severen as she knew him, but it was like her eyes were fully opened now. She could see it in the line of his jaw, the creases in his eyelids, the shaped muscles in his bare shoulders (which was doing nothing for her concentration), it was like he'd been there the whole time, but he was a brand new person. She wanted so badly to tell him, she wanted him to know she loved him now, not just as her best friend, but if this was going to work, it had to happen the right way. He had to figure it out himself. She just had to be careful not to let too much of her brand new affection for him slip through; she'd have to be extra careful. But it was worth it.


She yawned once more and took the last few precious seconds before she woke him up to memorize the contours of his abs, the curve of his arms, the bones in his wrists. She wanted to lock this image away; keep it deep down inside her to pull it out for a rainy day, something she knew would cheer her up, no matter how low she was. She scooted up a little now, running her index finger down the length of his face, waking him up softly. She grinned at him, careful not to breathe out of her mouth; she hadn't brushed her teeth yet. She sat up, pulling her hair to one side of her shoulder. She looked back at him and had the sudden urge to kiss him, really kiss him, the new found desire for him knocking the breath out of her. She wasn't ready for it, but covered it with a cough anyway, hoping she hadn't given anything away. Peeking around the curtains, she checked to see if the coast was clear; luckily none of his dorm mates seemed to stick around for the morning. It was Saturday, thank god, so they had the day to themselves. Originally, Kiki was going to spend it with Skye and Tori as usual, but something told her she needed to be with Sev. She turned back to him and slapped his chest lightly. "Get up, wanker, we're going shopping," she ordered, giggling a little as she slipped out of his bed, stretching her arms high above her head. "I'm going to go change, I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall in ten minutes," she said called out to him as she slid her jeans on from last night and grabbed her purse, walking quickly back to her dorm, shivering in the cold, taking all the back routes she could find. Most of the teachers and students were in the Great Hall, so Kiki didn't run into many people. Ten minutes later, she emerged into the Great Hall, ready in record time, her tote swinging over her shoulder. This feeling she felt for Sev; excitement, a little nervousness, all the signs of love she'd read about in books, it was all here. And it felt perfect. But not just perfect. It felt right.

[/color]

sev

[severen]

Everything seemed cloudy, even the gloomy morning light that barely found it's way to his shut eyes, as he adjusted to the movement in his bed, the ghost of Kadence's touch on his face lingering subtly. His eyes fluttered open reluctantly, catching the fading instant while Kadence looked at him thoughtfully. He would have asked her what she was thinking but instead, she was already peeking out the curtains and sliding out of bed, making him painfully aware of how cold his feet were when she wasn't in bed with him. For the past few years, Severen had worn socks to bed every night because his feet got so cold that he would wake up shivering violently. Well, almost every night. If, at the time, he had a lady friend, he wouldn't be caught dead with his socks on in bed. He hadn't even thought of it last night. Now, if only for a silent and frustrating moment, that's all he could thinking about, wishing she'd just come back to bed. She pulled the curtains back as he rolled onto his back stretching his arms over his head, the muscles in his shoulders and pecs flexing hard, a feeling he absolutely loved in the morning. Lowering his arms to his sides, he barely had time to watch her when she turned and smacked his chest playfully, calling him a wanker and mentioning shopping. He jumped slightly, raising his eyebrows a little as he watched her leave the dormitory. He sat up, about to stop her but she was already gone. Laughing, he grabbed his shirt from the night before and threw it at the door, shaking his head. He needed to find a way to make it humorous to him when a girl left without letting him get in a word edge wise. The sharp pain of the night before, well, before he and Kadence had settled their differences, hit him hard in the chest and his smile fell of his face, leaving him frustrated. He ran a hand through his hair, then back down his face, letting a loud breath rush from his lips. Rolling his eyes, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, walking to the bathroom.

He stood, starring into the mirror at his reflection, the differences so apparent to him from that past summer. He wasn't the same man he had been with Harley. He was completely different now. But she wasn't. It was disturbing, really, how little she had changed and how terrible it made his heart ache for her. He couldn't say he still loved her like he had before, that much was certain, but there was still something there. He turned around, still looking in the mirror but this time, his eyes followed the long scar down his back. It seemed as though his scar collected memories, all pretty bad memories, from what he could tell. From the day he got his scar, his brothers' torment thick and obvious, to the day Skyler had asked him about it. He was so embarrassed, he never did tell her. He remembered every single time someone asked about it, how they reacted when he wasn't willing to tell them and what became of them afterward, as if all these memories imprinted themselves on the scar itself. He hated it, like it was a constant reminder of all the things that had gone wrong in life after that day. Nothing good had ever come of it. And now, he had to live with the memory a wonderful and equally tragic night that had almost killed Harley. He surveyed it for a moment longer before he resigned to wash his face and brush his teeth. A few more thoughts of Harley before he let the whole situation melt away and run down the drain with the soap, toothpaste and the rest of his waste for the morning. He ruffled his hair, never actually caring what it looked like and walked back to his bed. Lifting the top to his trunk, he pulled out a tight white shirt, one of many tighter plain colored tees he owned. Pulling it over his head, he reached back in for his cardigan when he noticed a plainly wrapped paper package tied with strings. He lifted his eyebrow. It was for Kadence, something he had picked up recently because when he saw it, he instantly thought of her. After the night they had had, after all she had done for him, he realized he could no longer save the gift for the holidays. He pulled it out, setting it gently on the bed and continued to dress himself, putting socks on before pants because if he didn't do it soon, he thought his feet might freeze right off.

As he made his way through the halls to the Great Hall, he noted how absolutely freezing the halls were. Thinking back, he shook his head. Kadence had left in nothing but jeans and a tee shirt. She must have froze all the wall to the dungeons! Laughing quietly to himself, he walked a little taller, feeling like a small weight had been lifted of his chest and he could breathe easier. When he turned the corner into the Great Hall, he saw that Kadence was already at the Slytherin table, eating across from Isaac who seemed to be keeping to himself this morning. Coming up behind her, he gave her a platonic kiss on the cheek and laughed quietly in her ear, whispering, "You probably wouldn't have had such a cold walk back to the dorms if you had given me enough time to give you this." At that moment, he slipped the package in front of her, simultaneously stealing a blueberry muffin from the bowl in front of her and then moving to sit next to her, straddling the bench and watching her. "Go on, open it," he laughed and took a big bite into the muffin, crumbs falling onto his cardigan. He made a funny face and looked at the mess he was making, completely unphased that he was most likely one of the messiest eaters on the face of the planet. He looked back up in time to see her pulling the strings and pulling apart the paper. Embarrassment flooded him. He didn't like opening presents in front of people and he also didn't like to watch people open a present from him. He turned to face Isaac although Isaac had already disappeared. Instead, he looked up at the high ceiling, conscious that the paper sounds had stopped and he swallowed quietly. "After last night, what you did... I just couldn't wait any longer to give this to you," he mumbled, still avoiding her, not quite ready to see her reaction to the gift. He wasn't good at these sorts of things. He looked back down at the half eaten muffin on the table, then to Kadence out of the corner of his eye, smirking slightly. "Happy early Christmas," he mumbled quietly, blushing slightly and then picking up his muffin, standing up and nudging her with his hip. "Come on, you wanker," he laughed loudly, "I thought we had shopping to do?" At that, he started to stroll down the isle way, turning to make sure she would follow momentarily and smiling at her. She was the best friend he could ask for. He knew that. And the best part was, he didn't ask for her. She was a blessing that he cherished. He would never let her forget that. He had heard Arthur call Brielle mon petite ange many a time and he wondered if the same name applied to Kadence as well. She was his angel, whether or not either of them would admit it. He knew. She was the one who knew how to save him and would never let anything stop her from doing so. He wanted to be the same for her and he would be more conscious of it now. Because he loved her and she meant so much to him. Nothing could ever change that.