shadowland

[Emmeline Vance]

Emme's eyebrows shot up at that and she turned to widen her eyes at Gabby questioningly, mouthing 'what!?' before shaking her head, glancing at the teacher and quickly scribbling down another note.

What do you mean you weren't dating!? Then what was all that?

[Gabriella Rivera]

Gabby felt her cheeks heat up and ducked her head so that her hair partly covered her face. Dios, this was embarrassing. She felt like such a loser, admitting this.

We were...pretending. It's a long story, but basically my aunt misunderstood or..okay she was bugging me about not having a boyfriend and I just sort of blurted out that I did which was a total lie obviously and then I told her it was Jayden but then I had to tell Jayden what I'd done and he agreed to be my pretend boyfriend and I didn't want to not pretend in Hogwarts because word might get back to my dad somehow and I dunno it was kind of nice to have a boyfriend for once, too, because all of my friends seem to have significant others and it's just...it's stupid, it was really stupid of me, but now it's over and yeah.

[Emmeline Vance]

Emme read it over again and again, blinking a little stupefied at what she was reading. They'd been pretending? Wow. That... she prided herself in being pretty good at figuring people out but never in a million years had she imagined that they'd been making it up.

Oh, Gabs... you don't have to be embarrassed, it actually sounds kind of fun! I feel silly for not noticing though, you just both made it seem so real. Are you sure you were pretending? I could've sworn you liked him, and Luke says he's never seen Jayden this excited about a girlfriend before.

[Gabriella Rivera]

It's just because Jayden really likes this boyfriend stuff, that's all. I mean, we don't kiss or anything. Plus, Jayden he's...just a friend, you know? I dunno, I don't think about him that way. It'd be like dating Gideon. Only...not really, because Gideon is different, he's not like anyone. So...I dunno, Emme, it was fun, yeah, but pretending gets depressing after a while.

[Emmeline Vance]

Well, that's what I thought about Luke before. Total friendzone. Like a puppy. And now look at us. Same with Gideon, I suppose.

I think there's little things more romantic than falling for your best friend. But if you say there's nothing, then I believe you. After all, you two are both really cuddly and touchy-feely and close so I guess I could've been fooled by the hand holding and made it seem more like it was...

Are you okay, though? You seem really bummed about it. Is it because you stopped pretending or because... you don't have a boyfriend? Because you know you don't need to be dating someone. I really like being single sometimes. There's a lot more independence, and free time, and you don't lose touch with friends.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Yeah...I guess. I dunno. I dunno how I feel about anything or anyone anymore really, Emmie. I mean, there's still some feelings for Severus there, those just won't seem to go away. And...I dunno. My head is a mess lately, really.

I am bummed about it. And I know what you mean, but you can say that because you've had plenty of boyfriends before, so maybe sometimes you miss being single. But I've never had a boyfriend before, not really, and everyone around me is pairing up, you with Luke and Gideon with Jezebel and Lyle with Stefan and even Jayden went on a date with Lilah, that girl in our year group? And then there's just me, forever alone. It's not a nice feeling, Emme. I want to have someone who'll be eager to see me in the morning, who I can kiss whenever I want to and hold hands with, someone who'll tell me I'm pretty or adorable and who'll find me attractive and I don't know I just want to have a boyfriend. I know it sounds stupid to you, but it doesn't to me.

[Emmeline Vance]

Emme bit her lip at Gabby's words, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and embarrassed and guilty because how many times had she complained over some boy or another in front of her without considering that maybe Gabby might want to have a boyfriend, too? She glanced over at her best friend and felt the sudden urge to hug her, but couldn't quite do so in the middle of class, could she? She resolved to do it later and pressed her lips together worriedly, writing out a response.

Well... you know I'm not very eager about the Severus thing because he's pretty old for you and he just gives me an off vibe but maybe... maybe it's a sign? That something could happen with him at some point?

I'm sorry, Gabs. I hadn't thought of it like that, and I'm sorry. I feel like an awful friend. But... well I heard that Jezebel and Gid broke up, and Stefan broke up with Lyle, too... and I don't know what to say about Jayden and this girl but maybe he went out because he was feeling lonely too? But guys have it easier because it's much more accepted for them to ask out whoever they want, and girls have to wait around for a guy to do it to them, which is stupid if you ask me. Maybe you could try asking someone you could like on a date?

And it doesn't sound stupid, okay? Not at all. I hate hearing this from you, I feel stupid, really. Would you consider maybe letting me help you find a boy that could be nice for you? There's lots of boys here that would be lucky to date you.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Gabby suddenly wanted to bury her hands in her face out of complete shame, because she knew exactly what Emmeline felt for her right now, and it was pity. While she appreciated her friend's words and everything, there was a reason why she had wanted to keep this all to herself, because it just made her sound pathetic.

Haha. I doubt it, Emmie. I don't think I'm Severus' type at all. And I know everyone thinks we'd be a horrible match and they're probably right.

Nono, it's okay. Oh dios, please don't apologise? It's not like it's your fault. Really, Gideon and Jezebel? Stefan and Lyle?? Oh my God, does no one tell me anything anymore?!?! I haven't talked to Lyle in ages...gah he's probably been cooped up in his dormitories and I haven't even noticed! And Gideon didn't even tell me! Is Gideon okay? And Stefan and Lyle, do you know? How come Stefan broke up with Lyle, I thought they were so in love?? And oh, I don't think I could ask someone out, Emmie. I dunno if I can put myself out there like that. Besides, who would want to date me anyway? I look like a second year!

Oh...I dunno if I'm up for blind dating, Emmie.

[Emmeline Vance]

Well, yes... they decided they were better off as friends. I've been catching up with Gideon lately, you know we weren't on the best of terms after... the whole thing. So he told me. I think he was going to tell you right after, maybe he didn't get the chance to just yet. He seemed... bummed, of course, but not distraught. Hopefully he wasn't hiding it just for my sake. I really miss being best friends with him.

I don't know about Stefan and Lyle, he won't talk to me. And I'm not--I'm not very comfortable talking about that with him either, I mean. I'm trying. I'm really trying and it's so hard because it's so weird to me and feels so wrong, but he's got no one right now so I'm trying. But I don't think he wanted to tel me the specifics. I just found him crying and thought it was about his parents and he said they broke up. On Valentine's Day. Maybe... you could talk to him to? You're better friends with him than I am.

You don't look like a second year! Your boobs have totally grown over Christmas break, I've been meaning to comment on that. And you have gorgeous hair and perfect teeth and you're... you're so pretty. Ask anyone. I mean, Jayden clearly thinks you are, and he's a boy. And well it wouldn't be blind dating more like... I could introduce you to people and you could decide for yourself? I want you to find someone, and I know you will.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, he probably didn't get the chance to tell me yet. I'll ask him about it later and make sure he's okay. I think you guys are fine though, really! Gideon isn't the type to hold grudges or anything, and he's fine with you and Luke I think. You guys both dated different people after so...I think it's fine, right?

Dios, poor Stefan. Yeah, of course I'll talk to him! I have to talk to Lyle, too, of course. I feel like such a bad friend for not knowing any of this stuff! And for being sad about my own drama! Ugh. But yeah, no worries, I'll talk to them. And about Stefan's sexuality...I guess it's understandable that you'd be uncomfortable, Emmie. Don't worry about it. I just hope you accept it eventually. Or, at least, grow to tolerate it? I don't know. It's never been a problem for me, personally.

Really, you think so? I think it's just because I've gained some weight over the break. But thank you for saying that, Emme, really, it's sweet. And um...I guess that wouldn't be so bad.

[Emmeline Vance]

I really hope so. I miss hanging out just the three of us. Those were fun times.

You're not a bad friend, we've all been busy with our own lives... I just found out these things in the past week, too. I've been totally cut off from everybody up until then. I--yeah, I guess. People say that it's something you can grow to accept so. Maybe. I mean, it'd suck if he's living in my house and I get grossed out whenever he mentions a boy. So. Like I said, I'm trying. You're a much better person than I am.

Psh, you haven't gained weight. You've just filled out. And it's true! Okay, I'll try to look into it, yeah? I promise I'll find someone as nice as you deserve.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Yeah, I agree! Hey, we should all hang out next Hogsmeade trip or something! If Luke is okay with that...

I guess so...still. I feel bad. I'll have to do lots of apologising. And make lots of brownies. And yeah, that would suck. And I'm not a better person. I was just...raised on different values, I guess.

Isn't that the nice way of saying "you've gained weight"...? Okay, Emmie. And no worries about finding someone who's like...suuuuper nice. I mean. I don't want a complete jerk. But somewhere in the middle? I don't know. I don't really know my type. Never mind.

[Emmeline Vance]

I think that sounds super fun! Of course Luke's okay with it, it's not like we own each other. He'll want to see his other friends, too.

Your brownies are amazing, though. Lucky them. (:

No! Haha. I meant like, filled out your curves? Your stomach is still as flat as ever and your legs look great. Trust me, I meant it as a compliment. And I'll try, I promise. You never know until you give someone new a chance.

[Gabriella Rivera]

Oh, well, okay, that's great, then!

I'll leave some for you, too! (;

Aww. Well, thank you, in that case! I dunno maybe you're seeing something I don't see. I know, I know. Thank you, Emmie, honestly. You're such a great friend.

[Emmeline Vance]

YAY GABBY BROWNIES!

And psh, not at all, Gab. It's the least I can do after you've been there for me so many times. Besides, that's what best friends are for, right? (: