lover of the light

[Lilah Jackson]

Lilah was not entirely sure why she decided it was a good idea to learn how to fly with Kieran Sullivan. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. ...Because she did trust him, to an extent, as much as you could trust any new friend. And it wasn't that she thought he was a bad flyer. ...Because she was pretty sure he was a great one, from what she'd seen at the Quidditch matches. And it wasn't that she thought he'd let her fall and get hurt. ...Because she trusted him, to an extent, and she was pretty sure he was a great flyer, so of course he wouldn't. But that didn't change the fact that accidents happened. They happened a lot. And. She was just nervous, okay? As much as any person who could not feel pain would be. Then again, she reminded herself: if something did go wrong, and she fell, it would be probably be pretty easy to identify if something was wrong. She could just have Madame Pomfrey give her some Skele-gro and be on with it. Being on a broom with an experienced flyer hundreds of feet above the ground was arguably safer for her than being in a room full of people with infectious diseases. And it wasn’t like they were going to be playing a game of Quidditch or something. They were just going to fly. With hopefully no one else in the air to pummel into them.

She just needed to not be so nervous. It was her New Year's Resolution, after all: stop being such a wuss. And take chances. Reasonably. And flying on a broom with a Quidditch player seemed like a reasonable life choice! It was something she'd always wanted to do. ...Well, flying in general, not so much the Quidditch player part of that statement, but Lilah was pretty sure she shouldn't complain. In fact, it was a plus of the whole situation. Because Kieran Sullivan was sure good looking. And he had nice broad shoulders. From playing Quidditch. Nice arms too. She was always a sucker for broad shoulders. And nice arms. And he was tall. And he smelled good. And he was just dreamy in general. Oh gosh.

A quiet sigh escaped her lips as she made her way towards the Entrance Hall, where they decided to meet; she was feeling a little warm and she knew her cheeks were getting red. She could blame it on the layers she was wearing (February in Scotland was definitely on the chilly side), but she knew deep down it was probably just because Kieran made her a little nervous. Not nervous in a bad way. Nervous in a oh-my-goodness-he-is-so-handsome-and-charming-and-that-stupid-accent-and-why-are-his-muscles-like-that kind of way. But she didn’t have a crush on him! He was just… intimidating! And handsome! And older. And also very nice. And way the hell out of her league. She was sure the feeling would go away once she was used to his company, but that didn’t keep her from feeling completely silly and ridiculous and immature and pathetic and she knew he probably saw her as like a little-sister type of friend and she knew after a while she'd probably see him as like an older-brother type of friend and everything would be just hunky dory but until then she was content with being distracted by how good-looking and wonderful he was.

As the Entrance Hall came into view, so did Kieran. Reaching up, she fidgeted with her hair, and let a little smile play at the corner of her lips as she approached him, as she considered commenting on how funny it was that she was blushing around him (again!!!!). ”Sorry for being late,” she apologized, glancing down at her watch. …She actually wasn’t late, she was right on time. Huh. …But she did feel bad for making him wait, so she wasn’t going to correct herself. She tilted her head back and smiled at him anxiously before blurting out, "Gosh, you're tall," and then turning even more red because what in the world kind of conversation starter was that

like

what even was she doing

except making herself look like a blubbering fool

Dangnabbit Lilah.

She grimaced and huffed before continuing, "Sorry! It's just ridiculous the height difference between us, I feel like I need to crane my neck back to get a good look at you," she babbled, making a face and exaggerating tilting her head (and back) to see him to get the point across. He was just ginormous. And she was itty bitty. Not that it was a bad thing. She just. Continued to be overwhelmed by his existence. "We should probably head out to the pitch, yeah?"

kieran !

[Kieran Sullivan]

When Kieran had invited Lilah out to teach her how to fly, he hadn't really thought of his intentions. Which was pretty much typical of Kieran Sullivan, because he basically never thought of what he did before he actually did it, ever. It was how he wound up in detention so many times. But as he made his way down to the Entrance Hall, where they had agreed to meet, he started to finally think about why he had asked her. He'd started off speaking to her because he was, let's be honest, incredibly bored and hadn't been in the mood to do much studying, and she'd been right there looking all pretty with her wavy blonde hair cascading over one shoulder and yeah okay so maybe he kind of had a thing for adorable, tiny blondes, but he was still taking a break from the whole dating scene (did it count if he was casually dating, as in casually taking a girl out for some dinner from the kitchens and then casually inviting her to his bed if they really hit it off?). And Lilah looked so sweet and wholesome that he was kind of scared of asking her on a date and then, later, breaking her heart with his habit of not lasting any longer than three weeks. He'd gotten lucky with Jordan; she'd met someone new, someone more deserving, and been over him soon enough. And the other girls he'd dated before had never really expected a long-term relationship from him, because it never got serious. But, even though he didn't know Lilah well enough to judge, he got the impression that she was the type of girl who had expectations, who liked to go in for the long haul and Kieran didn't want to be the one to inform her that guys like him ran away from commitment, even though that was really all she wanted from a relationship. So did that mean that asking her on this not-really-but-sort-of-maybe-a-date date was a mistake?

Maybe.

Then again, maybe Kieran was - for once! - over thinking things. It wasn't something that he was accustomed to (actually, thinking, period, was kind of unnatural for a person like Kieran), so he didn't quite realise it until he felt his temples tighten with the on-set of a migraine and he realised it was because he was putting his brain through so much stress, after which he ran his fingers through his hair and easily pushed away every single thought that didn't have to do with flying. And, as soon as he started thinking about flying, he became excited all over again. It was no secret that he enjoyed flying. He enjoyed Quidditch even more, which was why he'd returned to the sport as soon as he was deemed fit enough by Madam Pomfrey and he didn't think his mother would (somehow) come all the way to Hogwarts and tell him off about it. He didn't know why Lilah didn't know how to fly, especially since he'd thought everyone had to learn how to fly during their first year, and he found it difficult to believe that anyone would dislike it, unless they had a severe phobia of heights, like Jackie apparently had. But from what Lilah had said, it seemed as if she didn't have that problem. What problem she had, Kieran had no idea, but he figured it wasn't any of his business, so he hadn't tried to pry or anything like that. Plus, it wasn't like he was extremely curious about it or anything. If it came up, then it came up. Otherwise, he wouldn't pursue the subject. He was cool like that.

When he saw her approach, Kieran couldn't help but smile. It goes to show how lost in thoughts he had been, that he came here early, since normally he was always the one running late. Him and time simply did not get along. It was why he got into so much trouble with his professors - especially during his earlier classes. Apparently, rushing into class five or ten minutes late with a crooked tie and your shirt out of your pants was unacceptable. Who would've thought it, right? "Yer not late. I'm jus' early,"

he reassured her with a gentle smile. His smile widened and then gave way to a bout of chuckles at her next comment, recognising that she hadn't meant to blurt it out. "Maybe yer jus' short,"[/color] he teased, reaching out to ruffle her hair. He did notice that she was incredibly short; she barely reached his chest, and he hoped it didn't hurt her neck too much to tilt her head back that much just to look up at him. Her babbling was incredibly endearing and Kieran couldn't help but think, once again, about how adorable she was. "Adorable" normally wasn't his type, but then again he didn't have much of a type per se and besides hadn't he already agreed with himself that he was having none of that with Lilah? Still, he could think of his friends as adorable, couldn't he? Yep, he totally could. "Yeah, let's go,"[/color] he agreed, the amusement plain in his voice and on his face. He pressed his hand gently against her back, guiding her out of the castle and towards the Quidditch Pitch.

Once there, Kieran brought out two broomsticks - his own, and one of the practices ones - and shouldered them both as he made his way back to the spot he'd told Lilah to wait for him. He handed her one of them and then furrowed his thick brows, trying to remember what they had talked about. His memory was pretty horrible most of the time. It was something he was working on. Sort of. Not really. "So uh...I dun' really remember all tha' we discussed. Did ye, uh...never try flying? Or uh...how much do ye know? Or not know? Erm." What an excellent teacher he was. "Are ye a total flying virgin?"[/color] Excellent wording, too. Just brilliant. He would have rolled his eyes at himself if he wasn't worried that Lilah would think he was a complete nutter.

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[Lilah Jackson]

She let out a laugh at him, his hair-ruffling serving as a quick reminder that nothing between them was going to happen, not ever, nope. There was nothing about hair-ruffling that said 'Greetings and salutations, excuse me while I remove my pants because I'd like to bang you'. And that was most certainly for the best; it would go no where. She was just getting to know him and just wasn't comfortable around him yet, still feeling insecure about herself and unsure how she should behave around him. Of course the obvious answer should have been to behave like herself but half the time she wasn't even really sure how she was anyway! Maybe that was why she got so flaily when she met and got to know new boys; the vulnerability could easily be confused with what it felt like when you started to get romantic feelings for someone. That made sense... kind of, right? "I might be just a tad shorter than the average girl. Only a wee bit." she replied playfully, a wide smile on her lips.

Ah, yes. That realization loosened her right up. It wasn't a crush, she'd just have to get used to him. He was too old for her anyway! And not even her type. And he was handsome, but she had plenty of good looking friends. There was nothing wrong with hanging around a little bit of eye candy. He placed her hand on her lower back and the pair headed towards the pitch, discussing the many woes of O.W.L.s. and N.E.W.T.s.. The more she chatted with him, the more she enjoyed him; why hadn't they ever talked before! Well granted, two years was a bit of an age difference, but that hadn't stopped plenty of other people from being friends. Of course, from now on she'd make it her business to talk to keep up with Kieran. He was a good guy, and she liked to surround herself with good people.

She stood by and watched as he pulled out two broomsticks from the shed, and began wondering again why she had decided to do this. Ugh. Now she was just getting butterflies from the prospect of flying through the air at high speeds and being so far above the ground, like a rollercoaster except you were using a broom. Like. A tiny little. Thing. Made of wood. And. Hay at the end of it. Not strapped in at all. Goodness how was any of that appealing to anyone?! That was bloody horrific! She groaned quietly and rocked forward and backward on her feet, the butterflies slowly becoming unbearable. She kind of felt like throwing up. She gulped down some air, remembering her very first - and only experience in flying lessons. She was nearly in tears the entire time, and although she hadn't hurt herself, she did fall and her anxiety about it was so bad she went to Dumbledore's office sobbing, asking if it was okay if she didn't learn to fly because it's not like it was a necessary skill or mode of transportation and she'd find ways around it just like she had done with nearly every other aspect of her life! And, well, probably more so for the sake of her safety, he agreed.

She laughed at Kieran’s question, kind of relieved it was him teaching her and not anyone else. Not a lot of people could get a laugh out of her when she was feeling all tense. ”Well I was in flying lessons for the first class, but I dropped it after that,” she explained, hoping he wouldn’t inquire as to why she did that or how she got permission for it because that was a conversation she just did not want to get into right now. ”So it’s been about four and a half years since I flew, and that time I barely made it off the ground, couldn’t really control it, and I fell. So.” She grimaced at him, unsure of how he was going to take all of this. He probably hadn’t ever taught someone how to fly before… but it’d be okay, she assurred herself. People didn’t get seriously injured learning how to fly. If they did they’d probably need to sign some sort of insurance waiver. Or. Well that was probably just a muggle thing. But really! She needed to lighten up, gosh darn it.

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[Kieran Sullivan]

"Only a wee bit, eh?"

he repeated, his lips twitching with ill-disguised amusement. He'd never been particularly good at hiding his emotions, never really felt the need to learn how since he personally preferred people to be up-front and honest and he figured, if he should expect that from people, then he should do the same. Plus, he'd never been a very good liar, unless he was trying to get out of detention. Strangely enough, he was fairly quick on his feet when it came to making up excuses about why he was out of bed after curfew (sleep walking, thought he heard something suspicious, got up for a snack and didn't realise it was past curfew - the last one was actually half true since a lot of the time, he was out of bed to get a snack from the kitchens, it was just that he was perfectly aware of what time it was when he did) or how he'd managed to skip an entire morning worth of classes (instead of saying he overslept, he simply told them that he'd spent the whole morning leaning over the porcelain bowl that was the toilet and throwing up into it. Because it was a pretty disgusting topic, the professors didn't generally ask him more questions. Plus, sometimes he missed it because he'd been hungover so technically, technically, it was the truth. Although, he couldn't use that excuse too often without them suggesting he go to Madam Pomfrey, who'd give him some potion that actually induced nausea as punishment for lying).

Honestly, Kieran wasn't very good at reading expressions. In fact, one might say that he completely sucked at them. If how you felt wasn't completely evident on your face then, chances are, Kieran wasn't going to be able to decipher your expression. It was why he generally didn't understand girls most of the time. They were so...secretive and always said one thing but actually meant the other and it was just so confusing because Kieran didn't understand why a girl would say she was fine if she wasn't, especially if she wanted you to know that she wasn't fine because Jesus was he supposed to call her a liar by pointing out that "haha no actually you're not fine"? Wasn't it generally rude to point out to a girl that she's lying? Or mean or something? But then sometimes it's obvious that she's not fine since she's crying so how's he supposed to react to that if she's crying but saying she was fine? Just walk away? Say okay and leave? But then what if she started crying harder and everyone thought he was a jerk and oh Merlin girls were just so bloody complicated! This is why he liked hanging out with blokes better. Sure, girls were pretty to look at and they smelled a hell of a lot nicer than most guys, but it was so hard to talk to them sometimes. Of course, and then there were girls like Lucy and Sooz and May and Lottie who were plain brilliant, mostly because they didn't exactly act like most girls. Well, Lucy had been a bit confusing lately, actually, on account of her pregnancy, but usually if he gave her pickles and she'd go back to adoring him again, or get distracted. He'd taken to carrying them around more and more recently, since he had this terrible habit of putting his foot in his mouth and he was worried that one day he'll say something wrong about her weight and she'd explode into a fountain of tears, and then Will might punch him in the face for making his girlfriend (fiancee? baby mama? what?) and Kieran generally preferred his face un punched, thank you.

...Anyhow. He digresses. He wasn't good at reading expressions, yes, but Kieran could kind of tell that Lilah was nervous. Okay, so it was more like a guess because her face looked the same to him, only her smile wasn't as wide as it usually was. He listened to her explain about her experience with flying, frowning when she mentioned dropping the class after the first try. He found it hard to believe that anyone would want to drop that class, since it had been his favourite in first year, but he supposed it was personal choice or something. He was starting to find out that a lot more people than he would have originally guessed disliked flying (but then again, he'd guessed no one disliked flying, so...). "Ohhh, ye fell," he said, as if that cleared everything up (it didn't). He supposed she maybe got scared because she had fallen, but he didn't want to ask lest she get embarrassed (or, more likely, lest he sound stupid). "Jaysus, I musta fallen off me broom like...a dozen times me first year,"[/color] he said, rubbing the back of his neck with a bit of a nostalgic look on his face. "I'd drive Madam Hooch absolutely mad 'cause I was so reckless. But I always got right back up again, 'cause it was fun. I'll show ye how fun it is, I'm sure ye'll be fine,"[/color] he told her enthusiastically, putting down one of the brooms and handing her the other. "I'll ride behind ye the first time, if ye don't mind. It's easier to guide ye with me hand if I'm on the broom, too."[/color] He paused here for a moment, his face scrunched up in confusion. "Unless, uh...unless that would make you feel...uncomfortable? 'Cause in that case, I can show ye fine on separate brooms. I just figured ye'd feel safer or sommat, if we were both on the broom, y'know?"[/color] He cocked his head to the side again, his expression questioning.

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