sometimes it's just not okay

[Gideon Prewett]

My girlfriend believes babies come from storks. I... What do I do?

brudder

[Fabian Prewett]

What? She's got to be taking the mickey. You don't believe her, do you?

[Gideon Prewett]

Wot? I know where babies come from! Mum had this talk with me already! No, she--she really believes it! I tried to tell her that they didn't come from storks and it just upset her.

I'm just really confused because... I mean... Crikey, you know?

[Fabian Prewett]

You got the talk from Mum? Blimey, I thought you'd got it from Uncle Ignatius, like me. Sorry, mate.

Your girlfriend really thinks babies come from storks? I thought you said she was smart. You've got to set her straight, though. I didn't get you those johnnies so they'd go to waste.

[Gideon Prewett]

You got it from him? Oi, I'd take Mum over Uncle Ignatius any day. Except she did talk about flowers and women having an internal garden a lot. Haha, I can't wait to laugh at Mols when she has to explain it to her kids.

She is smart! And this isn't about the johnnies, I honestly wasn't planning on using them until we were, you know, ready and stuff, but... It's not just that she thinks they come from storks, I think she thinks the storks come if you kiss. And I mean, I wanna kiss her and stuff, but what if she doesn't let me because she thinks a stork'll come?

[Fabian Prewett]

Wasn’t that bad with Uncle Ignatius. Except when he tried to give me tips. So, flowers and a garden, huh? You think that’s what she told Molly before… Never mind. Anyway, Molly won’t have to do it, she’s got all boys. It’ll be Arthur’s job. I can’t wait to hear about that.

Well, maybe you should tell your girlfriend to ask her mum about the proper way babies come.

[Gideon Prewett]

Oh. Yeah, I guess. What kind of tips? Yeah? That must have been awkward.

Yeah. Maybe. It's just so weird.

[Fabian Prewett]

Yeah, I couldn't look Aunt Lucretia in the eye for a while after that.

Where'd your girlfriend get that daffy idea, anyway? She's your age, isn't she? And still believes in storks?

[Gideon Prewett]

... Ew, gross.

I guess her mum tells her that. I mean. Mums aren't supposed to lie about that stuff for this long, right? So I guess I can't really blame her for believing her mum, but it's still... weird.

[Fabian Prewett]

Hang on, her mum's just letting her believe all that stuff? Isn't she worried her daughter's gonna land herself in trouble?

[Gideon Prewett]

I dunno, I'm kinda scared to ask I haven't asked her about it. Maybe I should write to her mum.

[Fabian Prewett]

Might want to be careful about that. Don't want to put the idea in her mum's head that you're shagging her little girl. Yet. Well, you probably don't want her to know at all...

I mean, just be careful what you write.

[Gideon Prewett]

Oi, tosspot, we're not shagging! And... she's not a little girl either, Fabian. I mean, you've seen her, she was my date to the ball. She's my age. So definitely not a little girl. Er, but you're right, I guess. Shouldn't tell her mum, in case she sends a Howler back to me.

... Do Howlers just yell? Or can they bite, too?

[Fabian Prewett]

I know you're not shagging yet, prat! And I know she's not a little girl, but her mum might not see it that way. Her dad, either.

Howlers don't bite, but there are plenty of other things an angry witch could send by owl post that do.

[Gideon Prewett]

Ack, why'd you say 'yet'? I dunno if we even will, since, you know, you don't need to shag if a stork's just gonna show up.

LIKE WHAT You're supposed to be reassuring Oh. Damn.