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Post by kadence on Aug 26, 2011 2:54:57 GMT -5
If she wasn't such a good friend, she probably wouldn't be doing this.
But she was, and so she did.
See, the thing was, Kiki had, so far, a hard life. Her father died when she was twelve, right in front of her. She was in an abusive relationship for two years; the boy sucking the very life out of her body with every decision he made. Then, when she finally was free of him, she fell in love, just to have her heart shattered into a million pieces when Jack left her. Then, after spending almost two months being just shy of catatonic, she began to slowly work her way out of it, with a little help from her new boyfriend. Alas, Noah decided to cheat on her as well. So, things had not gone well,to say the least. In Kiki's eyes, there's a certain amount of shit in people's lives before good things start to happen. And so far, for Kiki, things had been pretty shitty. So according the model she was working off of, it was time for some good things. On the other end of the spectrum, she also knew that all good things come in time. But it couldn't hurt to help time along. For example. The Yule Ball was coming up. Kiki's mother had sent her the most beautiful dress by owl that very morning, and Kiki was actually starting to get excited about getting a chance to get all dressed up and parade around and dance and all sorts of Ball-type things. There was just one little problem. She needed a date. There were a lot of guys that Kiki could have asked, but if she was being honest, there was really only one boy who would make everything perfect. If she brought a guy she didn't know very well, dancing would be awkward. If she brought a boy she knew pretty well but had hooked up with before, it would be awkward and he'd probably want it again. If she went with another girl, there wouldn't be any awkward hormones, but she really liked the idea of boy/girl contact. But something that wouldn't get in the way of her good time. Someone that wouldn't try and take advantage of her most likely drunken state. Someone who would fetch her drinks and dance whenever she wanted. Someone who would make sure she was having fun the entire time. The answer was so obvious, she'd wondered why she waited so damn long.
Severen.
As Kiki made the quick ascent to the Gryffindor tower, her thoughts strayed to many topics, ranging from what shoes to wear with her Yule Ball dress, to how she did on her last Potions test, to how Jack was doing (it still stung a little to hear his name, even in her head), to why in the fuck Tori was hanging out with Imogen, to Sev. Again. Severen. The reason she was headed to the Gryffindor common room, at this very moment. She was a little worried if she was doing the right thing or not, what she was about to do. But she knew her best friend, and she knew this was what he needed. He may not have said it, out loud, for her to hear, but Kiki was nothing if not observant. And if Severen was going to have a life, any kind of good, happy life, it needed to be done. She reached the tower at last, eight o' clock on the dot, the whisper of the password being spoken, light as a feather. The portrait hole opened, and she could just make out Severen, sitting in one of the corners of the red room, awaiting her arrival. She took one last deep breath, held her head high, and marched into the room. Ignoring the looks she was getting from every corner of the room, Kiki stopped directly in front of him, her face expressionless. She shook her head as he looked like he was about to get up, and before he could speak, or move, or even take another breath, Kiki took a step to the side.
"Hello, Severen," Harley Quinn said in her soft voice, taking a step forward and stopping right where Kiki had just been standing. "It's good to see you again."
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"You're probably wondering why I'm here," Harley said softly, taking the seat next to him on the loveseat. Kiki had politely excused herself up to Severen's dorm, where she'd assured Harley she'd wait until they were finished. The soft cushion was a comfort to her, she hadn't been in this castle in months. After the incident with Severen in Italy, Harley was removed from Hogwarts to carry on her studies at home; her parents request. She had been surprised when Kiki had written her an owl that morning, asking her to come back to school, just for one night, just to talk to Severen. Harley was apprehensive at first; it had been months since she'd seen Sev last, and she knew if she saw him again, the only thing she'd be able to think about was how wonderful he looked, how familiar he smelled, how much she had missed him. And she was right. But Kiki knew what was best for Severen, and Harley had to agree. She crossed her legs, the light from the flames in the fireplaces throwing light against her porcelain skin. She looked into the fire for just a minute to collect her thoughts. She'd thought long and hard about how best to go about this, but mostly, she was concentrating on making sure she didn't slip and tell him she still loved him. Because she did. But their time had passed, and she knew that, and she wanted Severen to know that, too.
"Closure," she said, looking into his eyes, the color around the iris pulling her back to what felt like a thousand years ago with him. But she couldn't allow herself to reminisce. She was here for a reason.
"Kiki wrote me. She said you were feeling guilty. She could tell how it was eating at you, and it's not fair. She knew that the only way you'd move on and stop beating yourself up was if you knew it was true. Smart girl," she said thoughtfully, smiling just a little, before becoming serious again. "I just---- I needed you to hear it from me. I'm not angry with you. I don't blame you, and, if anything, I should be thanking you. You saved my life." The past was nothing more than a dark memory, but one thing she did remember, was when her mother told her that if Sev hadn't alerted a Healer, or even the Ministry at best, Harley would have died. It was true; he'd saved her. In more ways than one. The one thing she knew she couldn't handle, though, was conversation. She had to tell him she was okay, that they were okay. And so she did. And then she needed to leave, before she lost control of her emotions and told him that she still thought about him.
"I'm okay, Sev. I really am. Mum's homeschooling me now. She sends her love. As does Harmony. I'm seeing a doctor now to help with the phobias. Everything seems to be working. I just needed you to hear from me that everything's okay." She smiled a little, the thought of her doctor making her a little more relaxed. Even Moira had said this would be a good idea. She put a finger to his lips, urging him not to speak. She didn't want him to apologize. She didn't want him to say anything. "Everything's okay," she said, softer still, looking at him once more before rising and placing one tiny hand on his shoulder. Her body wanted to reject the touch; she knew how much she was risking her own sanity to even touch him. But she had to. Leaning in, she pressed her lips just slightly to his forehead, closing her eyes. One last inhale of his scent, and Harley took a final step back, smirking at him just slightly.
"Have a nice life, Sev," she said with one last tiny wave, Harley disappeared, the closure she needed finally given. Hopefully, she'd been able to do the same for him.
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When Kiki came back down the stairs, Sev was still in the same part of the room. She went to him, curling up next to him on the loveseat, resting her head on his chest and draping an arm across his torso, waiting for him to say something; anything. She'd wait all night if she had to. But she knew, she really did, that this was what he needed. And she was his best friend. She had to be the one to give it to him.
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Post by severen on Dec 22, 2011 3:08:11 GMT -5
 He hadn't even thought of the possibility or the likely hood of going to the Yule Ball until Kadence started talking about it. But even before the slightest invitation came into the conversation, he was envisioning the whole night. Kadence in one of her breath taking gowns, the hall sparkling in silver and a smile on her face. That's all that really mattered about the ball, really. Making the lovely girl he was with happy. But of course, they had decided that if they'd go, they'd go together. He was glad, of course. He loved spending time with Kadence, something he had been doing more frequently lately.
Severen, with a very calm demeanor, hopped down the steps to the Gryffindor common room, spotting an open love seat in the corner. His favorite, actually. It always seemed to be empty, unless, of course, he was the one inhabiting it. Plopping himself down comfortably, he folded his legs and waited. Kadence had insisted on trailing herself in the common room, despite the fact that she would get dirty looks, to meet Sev. "Eight o'clock Severen. No later!" she had said to him that morning. He had only laughed and nodded, knowing if he slipped up, she would be more than happy to correct him. The room was buzzing, people chattering about the dance and exams and such, things that really didn't matter much to him these days. He glanced at the clock just as the second hand glided passed the carefully crafted number twelve and, right on cue, the portrait hole opened and Kadence, looking like she owned the place, stepped into the room. He half smiled, the looks people gave her making him stifle a giggle. She looked comfortable but still beautiful, as usual. He placed his hand on the arm rest, ready to push himself up to greet her but he stopped himself as she shook her head. He hadn't even noticed that she carried no expression until she dismissed his smile, seating him with little clue of what was on her mind or why she had even asked him here. He wondered if he had upset her sometime recently and what he could have possibly done. Before he could even open his mouth in concern, she took a step to the side and his heart lunged inside his chest.
The petite, pale beauty he once knew as his future stood in front of him like a haunting ghost from the past, holding his beating heart in her tiny hands. His lips parted but neither words nor breath circulated through his mouth. There was no breath left, it had all been knocked out of his chest by the mere sight of Harley Quinn standing only a foot or two in front of him. She said his name and that was all he registered. His mind had gone numb, shut down like it had so many times during his time in Boston. Even recently, it would numb but he had forgotten how real the feeling was until that very moment. Before he could think or speak, she was placing herself beside him. With a forced intake of breath, he turned in his seat slightly so he could see her, dumbfounded. He blinked slowly, reassuring himself that she was really here and was really speaking to him. He knew he'd have to focus, to listen, or he would only regret it. He watched as she folded her legs, the firelight dancing across her skin and momentarily mesmerizing him. The smell of apples intoxicated him with a painful familiarity. After a brief pause, she began to speak again and this time, he was really listening. Kiki wrote me. She said you were feeling guilty. Oh. He glanced up but Kadence was gone. He hadn't even noticed her leave and now that he looked, it seemed like almost everyone in the common room had filtered out. He shook a little, not wanting to be alone with Harley. The last time they had been alone together had been the most beautiful and horrifyingly tragic night of his life. He looked back to Harley, watching her lips as she spoke. She could tell how it was eating at you, and it's not fair. She knew that the only way you'd move on and stop beating yourself up was if you knew it was true. An instantaneous flair of anger shot through him toward Kadence for telling Harley how any of this was affecting him. He didn't want anyone to know but especially not her. He didn't want them to know because it was hard enough for him to open up to Kadence, much less have his emotions be known to anyone else. But, as quickly as the emotion had come, it fled and left him listening again. I just---- I needed you to hear it from me. I'm not angry with you. I don't blame you, and, if anything, I should be thanking you. You saved my life. He blinked, clenching his teeth together. He wished she would speak slower so that he could sort through her words and the distractions that just came with her in general. Saved her life? No, he had ruined it. Or, at least, that was what he had told himself all this time. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted, wanting to speak but not having a clue of what he would say. She carried on before he had a chance.
I'm okay, Sev. I really am. Mum's homeschooling me now. She sends her love. As does Harmony. I'm seeing a doctor now to help with the phobias. Everything seems to be working. I just needed you to hear from me that everything's okay. He searched her eyes, hoping that something in them would echo what she was saying but there was nothing. Whatever she was feeling or thinking, it was no longer open to be a common knowledge for him. She kept it to herself, giving him the facts. This disturbed him a little. He wanted to ask her something, anything, just to know more but he was frozen, with fear or shock, he wasn't sure. He needed, he wanted, to tell her that everything wasn't okay. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't okay because he had destroyed everything they had had but when he went to open his mouth, she stopped him. Her finger pressed against his lips and he shut his eyes, his eyebrows pulling together and creasing his forehead in frustration. Everything's okay. He felt her get up off the couch, his eyes opening quickly and watching her move away and place her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't read her expression, couldn't understand why the room felt like it was spinning. He watched her lean down and his eyes squeezed shut as her lips pressed against his forehead. He was frozen solid, wanting to move, to hold her or push her away, to say something or scream out in agony, but he sat still, feeling every second with a hard intensity. When she pulled away, he barely had enough time to watch her vanish, the words 'Have a nice life, Sev' hanging in the air around him. His jaw dropped slightly, stunned that she was there one moment and gone the next. He wondered if he had been dreaming but the impression of her lips still lingered on his forehead and his hands were shaking. He was awake but he wished he were asleep.
For what seemed like hours, but had only been a minute or two, he sat, starring at the place where she had disappeared. His mouth was dry, his head was pounding and he wasn't even sure if he was breathing anymore. The room still felt like it was spinning and his heart was beating a million beats a second. He couldn't -- What had just happened? A figure passed across his line of vision, forcing him to blink. When Kadence laid over him, he realized that he had sat himself back, a motion he wasn't conscious of. She said nothing but she didn't have to. Even through the numbness, her presence was enough to hint at comfort within him. With a desperate attempt to take a breath, he realized how unstable he was at that very moment. So many emotions were filling him. He was terrified, knowing that he may break down any second. He was panicked because what he had tried to block out all this time had appeared out of nowhere, reopened wounds and then vanished, leaving him bleeding out alone. He was frustrated because she had been there, right in front of him and he was unable to say a word. He was angry because she had just left thinking she could just remove herself from his life permanently without leaving scars. He was just so angry. He was angry at himself, for not stopping her or getting up and leaving at least. He was angry at her for torturing him, for telling him everything was okay when it wasn't. He was angry. He was -- he was ridiculously angry with Kiki. His eyebrows furrowing and eyes narrowing, he gritted his teeth and stood from the seat, gently and efficiently pushing her off of him.
Oh, he was so angry. He clenched his fist, rage filling him. How could she bring her here, without so much as a warning, much less the fact that she had told her how all of this was affecting him. How could she break their trust like that. He took a few steps, completely ready to go upstairs and leave her sitting on the couch, just like Harley had left him only minutes before. Something inside of him stopped him though and he froze at the bottom of the stairway, shaking and dizzy and angry and entirely messed up. He blinked, forcing the tears back as long as he could. Clenching and un clenching his fists, he turned around, fighting a losing battle, and looked at Kadence sitting there, watching him back. He gritted his teeth, looking up at the ceiling as the tears filled his eyes. Whatever anger he had just had for her was evaporating with every second that passed. A shaky, broken breath later, he looked back to her and held out his hand. "I need you," he choked out through unconstrained emotion. "Please Kadence. I need you." He sucked in a big breath and he felt the hot tears run down his face. His teeth pushed down on each other like jail bars to his emotions but they could no longer be contained. His face was burning and his hands were still shaking as he looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "I don't want to be alone tonight," he sputtered desperately, "I can't be alone tonight. I need you, Kadence. I need you." He felt like the walls around him were falling in on top of him, all of his defenses being turned against him and he was sure he wouldn't make it out alive on his own. He needed her, more than anything or anyone. He needed her.
"Please."
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Post by kadence on Jan 25, 2012 18:39:48 GMT -5
*note- all the writing for kiki was written by me; all the writing for severen was done by jessie, just so there's no confusion (:*
She barely settled in to wait when he maneuvered himself away from her, and immediately, she knew something was wrong. Severen never pulled away from her, never in their years of friendship. She wanted to believe that he was just upset, he was just in shock, he was just taking it all in. But she knew it wasn't true when she saw the hard curve of his shoulder muscles as he stood up and moved away from her. And she knew, in that moment, that he was angry. Angry at her. A place they'd never been before. What in Merlin's name did he have to be angry for? She'd done exactly what she needed to do for him. And instantly, in a hot second, Kiki was pissed. She was like a fairy; only able to handle one emotion at a time, and right now, all her mind was capable of feeling was anger. Anger at Severen for being upset with her. She hadn't done anything wrong. Her gaze followed his movement, and when he stopped at the foot of the stairs, she felt some of her rage melt slightly at the sight of him losing control like he did. As he looked up at the ceiling, she still felt the anger, she still felt the buzzing in her ears, the need to yell at him, to scream, to throw things. How dare he be ungrateful?! It had taken her forever to build up the courage to write Harley, because she knew the risk she was taking, and when she'd actually agreed, Kiki knew it was the right decision, and this was how he was repaying her?! Getting angry and then having the audacity to ask her to stay? Was he fucking nuts? He held his hand out to her then and Kiki stood, wanting nothing more than to say something bitchy and leave, but knowing that no matter how angry she was, no matter how much he'd just pissed her off, that he needed her, and she was there, she always would be. But she could still be mad. She stood gracefully and walked to him, ignoring his outstretched hand and walking around him up the stairs to his dorm. She knew it would be better to just be with him, not talking, not helping, just with him. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was Kiki. She had to say something.
The dorm was quiet, everyone already asleep. She pulled her dad's old ratty t-shirt from her purse, along with her bag of extra toiletries she kept for just these types of emergencies. They each walked to either side of his bed, Kiki silently fuming as she ripped the hangings in front of her so he wouldn't see her change, she pulled her sweater off. She couldn't stand it anymore. She had to say something. In a loud whisper, aware of all the sleeping boys around her, she leaned around the curtain, only her head visible to him. "I don't know what the hell you're so upset about, I did what you were too afraid to do yourself. You could at least say thank you."
When Kadence ignored his hand and pulled around him, his outstretched hand clenched into a fist, his nostrils flaring, the anger he had felt refiling him. His eyes narrowed straight in front of him as he processed this, a completely primal reaction rising inside of him from her obvious maneuver. She had an attitude about her as she walked past him, like she was angry at him. His teeth clenched hard and he took a moment before he turned and followed her up the stairs. She was staying, like he had asked, but she walked ahead of him as if she wanted nothing to do with him. His eyebrows pulled in as he watched her back, her shoulders as she pushed open the dormitory door. The room was dark, lit only by subtle moonlight but it was enough. Quietly, they both moved to opposite sides of his bed and he did as she did, pulling the curtain shut hard. He paced a few steps, running over what had happened since she had sat next to him in his head. There was slight sounds of movement from her side and then she spoke, setting hot fire to rush through his skin. His eyebrows pulled in quickly and he took a long step, tipping his head around the bed post where she had vanished and snapped in a hushed whisper, "Thank you? Thank you for what, Kadence? I should be ripping into you right now!"
She froze when he spoke, her hands behind her on the clasp of her bra, her mouth falling open with shock. She didn't expect him to actually say anything back to her. It just added fuel to the fire. She peeked back around the post, now naked from the waist up, but hidden from him, her dark hair falling in thick layers almost down to her waist. She was furious, she couldn't believe he had actually said that. She wanted to scream, so badly, but she couldn't risk waking anyone in the dorm up. She snapped back, still whispering, with as much venom as she could muster. " Ripping into me?! Ripping into me?! Why don't you enlighten me, Severen, what in the name of all things holy and just do you have to rip into me for?!" She yanked the t-shirt over her head, unbuckling her belt and peeling off her jeans, left in nothing but her underwear and her knee high socks. It wasn't glamorous, but it was comfortable. And what did it matter, it was just Severen. He'd seen her in less. She pulled the hangings back, pulling her hair into a messy high ponytail, still fuming, unable to comprehend that he was actually fighting with her. They'd never fought before. Ever. Sure, she'd snapped at him, but he'd never fought back. She didn't know how to feel about it.
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Post by severen on Jan 25, 2012 19:33:20 GMT -5
Infuriated, he turned and moved back toward the window, pulling his shirt over his head with a force that only pronounced his frustration. His hair, getting longer than he usually wore it, was ruffled and messed up and he ran a hand through it, stopping at the nape of his neck as Kadence countered. His fingers twisted around the ends of his hair and he threw his shirt on the floor in a crumpled pile. His brow now seemed to have a permanent crease, his eyebrows pulled together hard. "Oh, I don't know, Kadence." He threw his hands up into the air exaggeratedly, his anger building physically. "Maybe for fucking bringing her here, telling her how I felt. What were you thinking!?" He looked toward the other end of the bed, as if she was there, giving the open air a fleeting glare that could melt through walls. He was shaking, the anger welling up inside of him. What was she thinking?
She stood on the other edge of the bed, mouth still hanging open, her hands resting on her hips. She could seriously not believe that they were fighting. Couples fought. Parents fought. Siblings fought. One of the reasons Kiki loved Severen so much was because this wasn't them. They were different, an exception to the rule, best friends to the end, never disagreeing. It made her worry about their future as friends, it made her worry a lot. If they fought about something this stupid, what else would they fight about? What else would get in the way of them? She was too angry to be worried right now, but later, when this was over, she knew she'd be scared. Scared because she didn't want to lose him. Scared because she knew she loved him and didn't want to let him go. But she just couldn't let go of her anger. She knew she was right. She talked to the curtains, knowing Severen was still on the other side, changing. Her voice rose, just slightly, her words stinging as they left her mouth. She hated this, every minute, but she couldn't stop. She was too stubborn to let it go. "I was doing what you couldn't, Severen! I was filling in when you wouldn't say it! She needed to hear it, she needed to know you needed the closure! How can you stand there and fight with me when you know I'm right?!" She paced back and forth, waiting for him, trying to figure out how to word what she so desperately need to tell him. Her hands tightening on her hips, she spoke through her teeth. "Harley knew I was right, and that's why she came, you idiot. She knew you needed the closure, she knew you were hurting, and she knew it had to be said. That's why she came, because she knew you weren't going to be the one to do it!"
Everything inside of him was boiling, a feeling that was unfamiliar to his and Kadence's friendship. He knew he should stop but he couldn't. He was shredding from the inside out and it was all Harley's fault. For once, he didn't take the blame of his life on himself. But Harley wasn't here and the only reason this feeling was so fresh was because Kadence had brought it all back for him. It was her fault he felt like he was dying all over again. All he wanted was to be able to escape back to Boston, to run from this feeling or be with it on his own. That wasn't an option anymore and it was so excruciating that he was ready to tell Kadence how horrible she was for torturing him so. He unbuckled his belt as she spoke, his teeth clenched endlessly, and he pulled his belt off so hard he ripped a belt loop clear off his faded jeans. "How could this be right," he growled quietly. He let his pants fall to the floor and he unfolded a pair of gray sweats, stepping into them slowly. He picked his clothing up off the floor as she continued spewing more words that didn't seem logical to him. He twisted and balled the clothes in his hand, trying not to explode. As she finished her sentence, he turned around, ripping the curtain open so hard that it almost ripped clear off it's post. Hard and fast, he threw is clothes from the day down on his trunk and leaned forward, his arms projected out at his sides defensively. "How would she have known anything if you hadn't said anything! You told her I needed, quote unquote, closure! Clearly that was the farthest thing from closure! She came and she tortured me with the things you told her! If anything, she just tore open old wounds and then left me there to drown in it!" Angrily, he turned on his heel and headed toward the washroom, stopping to face her as she spoke, his chest rising and falling heavily.
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Post by kadence on Jan 25, 2012 21:17:53 GMT -5
She was livid. She rolled her eyes at him as he spoke again, waiting for him to finish changing so they could finish getting ready for bed. It would have been funny, the situation they were in, if it wasn't so frustrating and a little painful. He was yelling at her, really angry. She could hear it. He didn't have to actually raise his voice for her to know he was mad. And she was mad too. She wanted to hit him so bad. Just punch him right in the face. He finally ripped the curtains back, revealing him bare chested and in sweats. Kiki was momentarily distracted-- had he been working out? His muscles looked bigger--- she refocused on his words, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline and her hands dropping to her sides to clench into fists. He started to walk away from her and she snatched her bag of toiletries off of his bed, snapping quietly, "Are you fucking off your rocker?! Don't you dare blame this on me, Severen Oliver! I told her because I care about you, you horse's ass!" She stomped angrily past him into the washroom, angrier than she'd ever been. Why wasn't he understanding this?! She stood over a sink, pulling out her brush and shaking her hair out of her ponytail, brushing out the snarls angrily, looking at him in the mirror in front of them. "You did need closure, and I'm sorry if the conversation didn't go the way you planned, but stop acting like I somehow twisted your words and told her things that weren't true!" She stepped back from the mirror and flipped her hair over to brush her roots. "I told her what she needed to hear, she told you what you needed to hear. Why is it so fucking hard for you to grasp the fact that I did it out of love?" She flipped her head back, dropping her brush loudly on the counter, pulling out her toothbrush. "You need to move on, Severen, and I knew this was the best way to do it. If you're angry the conversation didn't go the way you wanted, fine. Be angry at her. I don't care. But stop bitching at me like it's somehow my fault!"
He rolled his eyes when she used his middle name, a gesture to clearly emphasize that she was just as angry as he was. He shook his head as she stomped past him, pissing him off just a little more. How could she be throwing a tantrum? He thought he was more than allowed to be angry for once, especially in this situation. Excuse him for being open about it! Wasn't that what people were always trying to get him to do, show his emotions? Tell people what was on his mind? Oh, but now that he was, it was against the rules and Kadence wasn't going to let him have this moment without a fight. He turned quickly and followed her to the washroom, on her heels the whole time. She pulled up to the sink and shook her hair out of her ponytail. He pulled up right behind her, placing his hands on the sink on either side of her, leaning into her. His chest brushed against her shoulder blades and he pressed his cheek behind her ear. Trying successfully to ignore the now strong scent of her hair, he looked up in the the mirror at her eyes and growled, "Because you care?" Pushing off the sink and taking a step back, he moved to the sink next to her as she ripped through her hair, her own way of taking her anger out physically. Turning the faucet on, warm water poured into his hands and he tipped his head into the sink, wetting his hair down. Water dripped past his eyes as he looked up into the mirror at Kadence, her words flooring him. That wasn't the point, he thought. Dumping shampoo into his palm, her ran his fingers through his hair, scrubbing hard and then running the water over his scalp again, putting the angry energy in his body into rinsing his hair. Shutting off the water, he leaned to the opposite side of Kadence and shook his head, water splattering the next mirror over and making his hair a wild, damp mess. He looked back at her as she threw her brush in the sink, the sound of the impact making him cringe slightly. He watched her, listening to what she had to say, taking it all in as his defenses rose higher. Slamming his hands down on either side of his sink, he growled louder than before, "First of all, I didn't say you lied to her. That isn't the point! You shouldn't have said anything to her because everything I told you, I told you in confidence!" He took a deep breath and ran the warm water again, lathering soap in his hands. Getting frustrated, he threw the bar of soap in the sink and turned toward her. "Secondly," he growled more openly, "Love? Kadence, you brought in a nightmare and made me relive it! How is that love!?!" He turned back to the sink, rubbed the soap over his face and rinsed it, taking the pause he needed to form the words he wanted to use next. Grabbing the towel from the wall, he ran it over his face and looked at himself in the mirror as he growled, quietly now, "I'm trying to move on. I have been. My apologies if I wasn't doing it fast enough for you. Did you really think shock therapy would help me though? I am angry at her but, I'm just as angry with you! Since when is that a crime, Kadence? Since when are my emotions less valid than yours?" He pulled his toothbrush out, realizing his toothpaste was missing. Looking underneath the sink, his eyebrows furrowed as Kadence was released back onto the defense. He looked behind him, then over to the sink next to him. Opening the cupboard behind the mirror, he found his toothpaste among the rest of Aidan's toiletries. Oh yeah. Shutting the cupboard, he looked back to Kadence, his annoyance sustained, neither growing nor fading.
She'd never wanted to scream more in her life. Not when her father died, not when Jack left her, not when Cameron was trying to take advantage of her. He just wasn't understanding. How could she make him see? She pulled her toothpaste out and squeezed some out onto the toothbrush, rolling her eyes as he talked, her eyes cast upward, listening, but not looking at him. She couldn't look at him right now, she was so angry. She brushed her teeth vigorously, her gums beginning to bleed just slightly from the force of it all. She spit roughly back into the sink as he turned away from her, her emotions a spectrum of color and sound. She was seeing stars, she was so angry. Every word he spoke was like a dagger to her heart, anger finally making way for pain. It was like he thought she was doing this to hurt him, like she liked watching him hurt the way he was. She was still angry, oh, she was so angry. But now there was more. It was hurt. It was sadness. It was pain. She washed her face in silence for a minute, unsure of how to go on. She wanted to say so many things, she wanted to tell him he was stupid, that he wasn't listening. It seemed hopeless at this point. The water ran over her shaking hands as she rinsed the soap off of her face, grabbing a towel from the sink and wiping her face dry. She looked in the mirror finally, catching a quick glimpse of her face, her eyes wide with frustration and hurt, her cheeks pink from rubbing them, her lips trembling slightly. She was the most vulnerable after her make-up came off. It was like it was the real Kiki, the Kiki no one else could see. She looked at him in the mirror, strangely quiet. "Sometimes confidence has to be broken, Sev." She used his nickname to get his attention, the anger still shaking her body, but under control now. "I told her because it isn't just about you anymore. Harley needed to hear it, too. You think she was doing just fine the whole time, moving on without you? Living the high life, having a great time? We've been writing back and forth, you know." She turned back to her reflection, leaning over the sink to lotion her arms and legs. "She was hurting too. She was afraid you were the one who just moved on like nothing happened and everything was just peachy. I was the one to reassure her that you were in agony. I had to do it, Sev, don't you understand?" She was pleading now, her gaze locked on his reflection in the mirror, her pain cracking through her hard exterior. Gathering up her things, she sniffed once before returning to his bed, dropping her stuff at the foot and returning to her side of it, the moonlight glinting off of her bare thighs. She took another deep breath, whispering now. "She had to know you were suffering too, or she'd never have come. She would have never come." There were tears in her eyes now, the last ten minutes playing and replaying in her head. She hadn't wanted to tell Severen she'd been talking to Harley, but it needed to come out. "She needed to let you go, in order for you to be able to do the same, and I knew it would never happen if she didn't know." She stood there in the dark, looking at him, her whole body trembling, afraid of what was happening to her. She was so upset, she was so angry, she was so hurt. "How could you think I wasn't doing this out of love? Of course you weren't moving on too slow. I just knew you needed help. And I never, ever said your emotions weren't valid. Of course they're important. They're the most important thing in the world to me." Her voice was shaking now, she could feel her control slipping. There was one more thing she had to get out before she lost it, before she wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore. "I just---I---I love you. I didn't want you to---to hurt anymore and I thought this would be the best---" her voice cut off and her composure collapsed, the tears running freely now. She took a deep breath with one last whisper of, "I thought this would be the best way. I'm sorry."
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Post by severen on Jan 25, 2012 22:56:02 GMT -5
In their spanning silence, she looked up to the mirror after washing her face and Severen could see how upset she truly was now. He pursed his lips, dropping his head quickly in respect, almost embarrassed of his anger. He took an inaudible breath and turned back to his sink, running his toothbrush under the water and giving himself a reason to keep him mouth shut. He could feel his anger fading, the last bits of it truly escaping in the silence. As he brushed, she spoke, softer now. He recognized the calmer tone of her voice, the way she said his name. He looked up and met her eyes in the mirror, aware that this was the first fight that they had ever had in the three long years they had known each other. He listened intently, knowing she was right about one thing. It was never just about him. But as she continued, he felt as though he was in pain, the sting of betrayal in his heart. They had been writing, communicating. He was almost jealous, envious, as if Harley was taking him place in Kadence. His eyebrows furrowed, confused and sad, the hurt swimming inside him. He didn't understand and that was why she was upset with him clearly. He wanted to but everything was clouded by an endless ache. Spiting into the sink, he rinsed his mouth out, wiped it but stayed bent over the sink as he looked up at himself, his sad dark eyes starring back. "Since when is Harley your best friend," he mumbled, clearly calming down but the edge was still apparent in his voice. She didn't reply but he didn't really expect her to. He took a deep breath, containing the rest of his emotion deeper and deeper inside of him. He wouldn't let this escalate anymore. He followed her back out to his bed, stopping at the night stand to put his wand in the top drawer as she spoke. He paused, still bent over the drawer when her voice started to shake and he turned his head to see her. The moonlight was lighting the left side of her body, curving perfectly, which is what he noticed first before he realized she was trembling. His mouth parted slightly as his eyes followed her curved shape up until he saw her face, the tears that had formed in her eyes glinting in the subtle light. Pushing the drawer in, he kept his eyes on her and he straightened his body, facing her.
He must have been holding his breath because when she explained that she loved him, the compassion in her voice soft and the hurt obvious, his breath came rushing out of him. She continued but her voice cut out and his eyes widened, his forehead relaxed and his jaw dropping slightly, completely ashamed of himself now. His thoughts and anger had been valid but to take it out on the one person outside of his family who ever really cared was just shameful. He knew he had been wrong now and, as her tears started to run down her cheeks, his stomach sunk. He closed his eyes when she had finished, both of them standing across from each other in silence. The pain he had was overwhelming but, knowing he had cause Kadence pain was even more painful than he had imagined. It took over the hurt he was feeling early and replaced it with a stinging that only he had caused. A few moments passed before he opened his eyes, Kadence's small figure still shaking in the low light. He took a quick, staggered breath in and slowly walked around the bed, reaching for her left arm and gently turning her toward him. One hand found her hip and the other found it's way to her neck as he leaned his forehead against hers. He ran his thumb over her jaw line gently, his own frame shaking softly. He swallowed, concern invading his facial features. "I am so sorry," he whispered slowly, " I am so, so sorry." He hadn't noticed that he was crying until he felt the warmth of a tear sliding down his own cheek. "It just hurts," he whispered, even softer, the pain finding it's way into his voice, "It hurts so much, Kadence." They stood quietly, for what seemed like ages, tears falling down his face, mixing with hers. He was shaking lightly, the only thing truly keeping him from collapsing was the one person he had just tore apart only a minute or two ago.
Naturally, he whispered, as soft and gently as he could, "I love you too, Kadence." It came out like a song, something that sounded like it could change the world. Just five, small words. It relieved the anger in him, left him raw with the ache in his body. It was a sore, rough ache that only a broken heart could have caused. What he hadn't realized until now was that his heart wasn't just broken because he had lost Harley. No, it was also broken because his trust was broken and he had gone out of his way to break Kadence's. He knew, now that he was calm and attempting to separate himself from the situation, that Kadence had only done what she thought was right, the only way she could see fit. She cared for him, didn't want him to hurt anymore. Although, by bringing Harley to him, it had ripped open old wounds, now they had a chance to heal properly. This time, he wouldn't have to heal alone. "I'm so very sorry. It just--" he sucked in breath, completely unable to hold back any emotion from her anymore. "It hurts." With that, he pressed his lips against her forehead, wishing there was a way he could make this all go away. It just hurt so bad.
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Post by kadence on Jan 26, 2012 0:15:44 GMT -5
She wasn't looking at him now, she couldn't. Instead, she stared at her hands; her trembling, shaking hands, her blood red nail polish looking black in the dark. She could feel herself shivering, and it wasn't from the cold. So much had changed in the last ten minutes, and at the same time, nothing had changed at all. She didn't know he was there until she felt his hands on her. One on hip, the other on her cheek, their foreheads pressed together. So intimate, yet so simple all in one gesture. She felt herself being turned toward him, the moonlight lighting only one side, the shadows thrown across the stone walls dancing as they shook in each others arms. She forced herself to look up at him, and when she did, the tears came quicker. He was crying, too. She reached for him, one hand finding purchase on the hard, lean muscle of his bicep, the other around his waist. They stayed like that for a while as he apologized, over and over, so many times it sounded like a mantra. He told her he was hurting, that it hurt, and she pulled him tighter to him, hoping she could hold him together until the right girl could come along and do the ladylike thing. Fix it herself. Yes. That's what she'd do. She'd hold him together. It was the least she could do. Merlin, she just needed to find him someone who could take care of him. Someone who would laugh at his jokes. And listen when he needed it. And get along with his family. Someone who could love him the way she did---
In a split second, it was like the world exploded in front of her. His hands suddenly felt white hot on her skin, his lips on her forehead felt like live wires, alight with the electricity of a million volts. It was so clear, so sudden, how could she have not seen it before? Of course. Everyone always said the same thing to her. "Love, real love, will come when you least expect it." Or the old standby, "Sometimes your soul mate is standing right in front of your nose, you just weren't looking." She thought it was all bullshit, everyone just read it in a book somewhere, that love didn't just randomly expand in front of you like an explosion.
She was wrong. She'd been wrong the whole time. Because there it was. Right between them. Her eyes flew open, and again, the scene changed drastically right in front of her eyes, and yet everything was still the same. He was still holding her, she was still holding him, but now her gaze carried weight. Her hands felt light as a feather, her body floating on a cloud. It was like nothing mattered anymore, all that mattered was him. Severen. Sev. Her best friend. He'd been there the whole time, right in front of her nose, and she'd never thought about him like this. In this situation. Maybe all it took was a real argument. A fight. Something like this was what made people realize how important someone else was to them. And it was true, everything was true. All the stories were true. She could feel it inside of her, pulsing like her heart, beating faster than it ever had. She had never felt this before. She thought she did with Cameron. She thought she did with Jack. But this? This sudden need to protect him from everything the world threw at him, the urge to kiss him and for it to mean something, the flash of an endless future together? This was love. Real, unabashed, pure, beautiful love. She raised her head to look at him, her gaze steady, her body no longer shaking. She leaning slightly into him, then stopped. What the hell was she doing? Just because she'd just realized she was in love with her best friend didn't give her to right to suddenly tell him. No. He was hurting. Badly. She needed to be there for him. Maybe one day she'd tell him how she felt. But right now she just needed to be here for him, even if everything had literally just changed right before her eyes. She pulled away from him, very slowly, and took the single step backward until she was sitting on his sheets, keeping her eyes locked on him while she slowly lay down on the bed, the tears dried on her face, her heart filled with nothing but desire and affection for the boy in front of her, nothing but the moon to light their night. She hoped her expression didn't give her away, didn't show that she was now thinking only of him and what he wanted and what he needed and what he deserved. Nothing but him. She smiled, just a little, three little words that sounded nothing too out of the ordinary for him, but for her, they meant everything. Said with so much love and affection, she felt her heart stop completely because it couldn't handle it.
"Come to bed."
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