i never made a scene

[Alice Prewett]

[Alice Prewett]

december 1st -- content -- entry one

words of wisdom:
I suck at keeping diaries.

Figured I should give this diary-writing thing a shot. Mum suggested it during the summer since she thinks I'm not good at talking about "things" and "problems" and what-not, so maybe writing down my feelings will help me. Like I'm emotionally stunted or something? Ah well. Figure it won't kill me to at least try it. Who knows? I might actually like it or something. Merlin, I don't even know what to write in here! Last time I had a diary was in fourth year, maybe, and that was still when I was still flailing about crushes and what-not. Ugh. Okay. Seriously now!

Hi, journal - diary - piece of paper - book? Am I supposed to name you? Is that supposed to ease the process of feelings being poured into you? I guess I can do that. I'll name you...Han. Yep. Okay, so, Han. Hi! I'm Alice Prewett. I'm seventeen years old. I'm in my last year at Hogwarts and quite looking forward to graduating as then I can finally start my career as an Auror. And yourself, Han?

Dear Merlin, I'm adressing an inanimate object. Note to self: never take mum's advice again. Ever.

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[Alice Prewett]

december 9th -- creative -- entry two

words of wisdom:
I love Lucy more than twelve-year-old Alice loved cake. ...Oh, fine, and seventeen-year-old Alice, too

Dear Han,

Lucy and I have an awesome plan for the Yule ball. I'd write it down here, but then someone might pick this up and find out and then the shock factor will be gone! Although, I do hope no one picks you up, Han, I mean, I'd hate for someone to be sucked into the insanity that is my brain. Hahahaha, can you imagine someone being sucked into my brain? Hah....that's actually really gross, I don't know why I tried to imagine that, ewww, Alice, that's just gross. But anyhow. We have biiiiiig plans and it's going to be fabulous and no one will see it coming and I'm sure we'll get bunches of glares for it, but then again I'm sure quite a few people who are grateful for giving them a nudge~ in the right direction (at least I hope so, UNLESS THEY'RE ALL UNGRATEFUL WENCHES!). Ahem. Anyhoo.

Oh! Speaking of which -- the Yule ball, not ungrateful wenches -- IIII do not have a date to the ball. I know. It's sad, but true. Siiiigh. I'd ask someone myself, but it just seems rather desperate. Besides. Who would I ask? I think all of my male friends are taken. I seriously gotta stop making friends with people in relationships. Even LIVY finally managed to snag a boyfriend in Pierre (which, BTW, they are uber adorable and I'm glad Pierre finally came to his senses because the whole sexual-tension-y-we're-in-denial-even-though-it's-totally-obvious-we're-in-love-with-each-other thing was getting old. I wonder if I should give her The Talk or something. Merlin knows what repression does to people, and Pierre and Olivia are probably like off the repressed charts for sure. Then again, she's best friends with Sooz, and I'm sure Sooz has already been kind enough to sit down with her and talk to her about it. I seriously do need to befriend more single people, though. Or start dating again. I haven't been on a date in weeks. Not ever since Calixto and I broke up. Well, actually, that's a lie. I did go on one date, but it was that Scott guy and he was a grade-a jerk. He called Star Wars lame! STAR WARS IS NOT LAME, STAR WARS IS AWESOME AND ANYONE WHO THINKS IT'S LAME DOES NOT DESERVE TO JUMP ON THE ALICE WAGON. Okay, so maybe I let him kiss me and I didn't complain when he put his hand on my bum, but he was gorgeous, okay? Seriously. His jaw just did things to me. I did not, however, agree to go on a second date with him. Please, I have morals! Like I'm going to continue going out with a Star Wars hater. Pfsht. Aidan would disown me if he ever found out. But still. Being single is frustrating when you're surrounded by cute couples everywhere you go. Even Aidan got together with Danielle shortly after breaking up with Alessa (although probably not for long; I adore Dani and everything, but everybody knows Donnelly always comes running back to Alessa 'soon as they make up. Bound to happen sooner or later), Ian's "with" Wendy, Lucy's head-over-heels with Will, Lily and James are being Lily and James-like, Livy is a total goner for Pierre, even Isabelle and Noah are together. I think. Last time I talked to her they were. Then again that was ages ago, and Noah's not much of a talker -- well, anyway. May's probably like the only person I know who's single and I'm positive that's a personal choice. Ugh. What is this. I NEED NEW FRIENDS. MINE ARE ALL LAME AND IN LOVE.

Ugh. Who needs love anyway. I have my comic books. I don't need a Peter to my Gwen. Then again, I'm not entirely sure I want to be Gwen, since she ends up dying, and at a very young age, too. Now, I can't predict my own future, but I doubt I'll be dying anytime soon. I mean, really, there's still so much I have to do. Like watch the Star Wars sequel (because of course there'll be a sequel! - as a matter of fact, I expect there to be more than one if there's any fairness in the world). And get married and have children, those are on my list, too, of course. Not entirely sure how soon I'll be doing the latter, though, with my newly-single streak. Which I should try to enjoy, I guess. Gosh. I just don't know how to do single very well. Maybe I'll ask May how she does it!

...That sounded offensive. I admire her for being independent and stuff, honestly. And not wanting to deal with the whole boyfriend stuff. And not needing it. And...
Yeah.
Oops.
I'm glad she's never going to read this.

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[Alice Prewett]

december 12th -- contemplative -- entry three

words of wisdom:
The number of minutes I waste writing this entry is directly proportional to how much I don't want to study.

Dear Han,

You know, Han, I'm starting to wonder what being super careful about your health and your self and education and what-not really is about. I mean, we only get to live once, right? So why bother spending 90% of your time with your nose buried in a Transfiguration book when you could be enjoying life? I mean, it happening all around you, and instead of participating in it, you're spending so much time studying for things that, while can sometimes prove to be useful (the technical aspects, at least), are certainly not worth losing the experience that is out our fingertips and the chances that are sliding away from us by the second. I mean, what if, while you were reading up on the transformation of human beings into objects, the love of your life just passed by you, but you were too busy revising to notice and you lose your shot at true love forever? Or, what if the opportunity of a life time just passed you by because you were completing your Defense Against the Dark Arts essay? And let's not mention the hours that could be spent enjoying sweet, blissful sleep that were wasted away on our education! WHAT IF, HAN, WHAT IF. And, dammit, if I want to eat a huge piece of molten chocolate cake for dinner, then I will if I damn well please!

...My own procrastination tactics aside, May has agreed to join in my and Lucy's shenanigans, so that's definitely a go. I still don't have a date to the Yule ball, but I'm thinking of asking Kieran because, really, as far as romantic interests go, I've been seriously lanking in that department. Which is, you know, sad, but I guess it's a nice break, being single and all. Okay, actually, being single is not as brilliant as I thought it be. It's actually kind of boring. But, alas, such is the life of being a boarding school, and being in my last year. But then again, I've never had muuuch of a problem with dating the youngers years. Hah.

IIIIIIIIIII'm not particularly proud.

Oh! On the subject of dating. Or not dating. I have a non-date date during the Christmas holidays with Frank Longbottom! I'm introducing him to the fantastic world of Star Wars. I'm sure he'll love it. And if not, then we probably can't be friends anymore. I did miss him, though! Him and Fabian. Even though they did traumatize me years ago with their snowball prank. But I do miss the big lugs. I should probably write to Fabian soon or something, make sure he's not getting into too much trouble or doing something too stupid. Frank says he's doing fine, though, and I guess I believe him.

Okay, I guess that's enough procrastinating. Time to continue wasting my precious time on Transfiguration. I hope McGonogall realises the sacrifices I might be making for her.

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[Alice Prewett]

december 14th -- excited -- entry four

words of wisdom:
Sometimes a pretty girl just needs to date a pretty boy.

Dear Han,

I have a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaate. We flirted during class and it was fun and light and successful, obviously, since I have a date. He's a little cheesy, and a little Slytherin-y, but whatever he's very good looking and I'm very dateless. Whiiiiiiich makes me sound desperate, but did I mention that he's very good looking? Tall, dark and handsome, and I've always been a sucker for those. I might even let him kiss me at the end of the date if he wants to. Depends on how well it goes, that is. He's determined to prove me wrong about Slytherins or something. Not that there's much to prove since I know they're not all bad. It's only gits like Regulus Black and bi witches like Caoimhe that give them a bad name. I mean, my sister's a Slytherin and she's fantastic. Granted, I may be a little biased because I think the sun rises and sets on her pretty little butt, but whatevs. Also, I'm allowed, she's my baby sister. And beneath the rebellious act - which I'm convinced she'll grow out of eventually - she's really just a big softie with a huge heart. Ad I'm sticking to that argument until further notice, no matter how much Bethie dislikes being called a big softie at heart.

On another note, I'm pleased to announce that I definitely aced that Transfiguration quiz. It was a piece of treacle tart! I expect I'll be getting a nice, round 'O' tomorrow when she distributes them again. I'd chat some more, Han, but there's only an hour left to sunset and I need to get ready for the date! I'm wondering if I can chance wearing a skirt. It's pretty cold out, but then again I do want to look good, and I kind-of want to wear my lucky mini skirt for, you know, good luck, obviously. And the sweater will have to be a boatneck, of course. A teasing glimpse of the collar bone should suffice. I mean, I want to look good, but I don't want to catch frost bite or something.

Sweet Merlin, it's so difficult to look sexy during the winter.

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[Alice Prewett]

december 23rd -- exhausted -- entry five

words of wisdom:
I'm gunna miss Hogwarts. A lot.

Dear Han,

The Yule ball was pretty darn great. I danced a lot, May and Lucy and I made tons of people kiss against their will, which was super fun, although we did catch some couples that got pretty heated, even though I tooooottally didn't see it coming. We were gonna do it to the professors, too, but then we figured we really didn't want to see 50+ year olds snogging in the middle of the dance, because it'd be kinda very gross, so we decided against it. The decorations were gorgeous, I kissed a cute boy under the mistletoe even though I didn't even get to catch his name, and I spent much of the night with people I adore, so I'd say it went pretty swell. It's kind of sad to think that this is the last Yule ball I'll ever attend at Hogwarts. Actually...it's very sad. Aw. I'm gunna miss it. It's so much fun to dress up and prank people during fancy parties. I wonder if I can bug one of the younger years to bring me as their date next year...

Anyhow. I can barely see what I'm writing right now, I'm so tired. Night, Han! Tomorrow: hooooooome.

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[Alice Prewett]

december 26th -- sad -- entry six

words of wisdom:
parents lie.

Dear Han,

I can't believe my parents have been lying to me my entire life. Seventeen years! Seventeen whole years they've been pretending to be in love, lying right to my face, and I took it like the complete dolt that I am! Seventeen! Bloody! Years! It's un-freaking-believable. I just...how could they do this to me?! How could they pretend to be so in love, to have two children, and then decide one day "oh maybe we should tell our kids the truth, that we actually only tolerate each other and aren't actually in love. Oh, yeah, and by the way, Alice, we're dating other people. You're okay with that, right?" UM. NO. I AM SO NOT OKAY WITH THAT. ON THE SPECTRUM OF OKAYNESS, I AM NOT EVEN ON IT. BECAUSE THIS IS SO NOT OKAY. What am I suppose to tell Beth? Oh God, she must have been just as clueless as I was! I know I should go back home and tell her, but I just...I can't right now. I just can't face them. So I'm gonna stay with Frank until I feel calm enough to look at them and not feel utterly betrayed.

In other news, Frank has a dog named Tails. Why did I not know about this?

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[Alice Prewett]

december 29th -- rushed -- entry seven

words of wisdom:
why do i still use this thing?

Dear Han,

This is going to be fairly short because I have sooo much preparing to do, but I'm back home for the next few days since I'm throwing a new year's eve party. Mum and dad let me have the house for the night and I sent out the invitations the other day. I'm hoping quite a few people will turn up. No date yet, but ah well. My name is not Alice Prewett if I can't find a date within forty eight hours.

In other news, Fabian's in the hospital and seems to think I'm a squirrel. And I miss Frank's waffles. And Frank's dog. And I'm looking forward to running off with Coco after the party to Merlin-knows-where. That girl does know her crazy good adventures.

And now I really gotta run 'cause Lucy's here to help me with NYE preparations.

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Rest in peace, Marlene McKinnon. You were an amazing Gryffindor, and even more amazing person. You will not be forgotten.

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