[{Just.a.Perfect.Reflection.}]

[jenniferautumn]

You actually managed to find this...

Impressive.

I'm going to warn you now: The moment I find you, you won't feel as amazing as you do now. I suggest you put this back where you found it and continue on with your merry life. You'll be much better off with out a tail.

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[jenniferautumn]

M A R C H 10, 1977

Dear Diary,

Dear Journal,

I'm really having difficulty with this whole calling an inanimate object "dear" thing. I mean the whole personification thing... it's ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that this book isn't going to talk back to me in such a complementary manner. ...at least I hope not.

This was a birthday gift that my loving parents sent a few days ago. Attached was a note, explaining how 'journaling' was a beneficial method of letting out pent up emotions.

... as if I have any! Pfft.

Nah, I have my friend Brody for that. And baking. There's no better tension-release than whipping up a batch of lemon cookies with a friend there to eat them with and listen to your endless rants about everything. He always has the best advice. Life just seems a thousand time better after just talking to him. Who needs a journal when you have that?

I've never written in a journal before. I've been told about the feeling of satisfaction that it brings to some, watching the quill fly across the page, spilling out emotions and deep secrets.

Yeah, I'm feeling absolutely none of that. I'm not really the artistic type, I suppose. I'm pretty much writing in this to say that I have. To make them happy.

Who knows, though, this might become a habit.

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[jenniferautumn]

J U N E 2, 1977

Well, I found a purpose for this journal: Expressing what I can't say. To Brody, anyway. It's weird, not telling him everything. I have my own thoughts, I mean, it's just...

Brody passed me a note today during class. He finally asked out Emily. It seems like he's liked her for... well, ever. It really shouldn't have surprised me that he actually plucked up the courage to ask. What did surprise me was my reactions. At first, I was all for it and so happy that I'm amazed I didn't jump up and hug him. He's wanted this for so long, and he actually managed to plan our a romantic way to ask her. I've never been so proud of him.

The thing is though, I also felt kind of... sad. jealous. Of Brody. I mean, when he started asking about if there was a guy for me, well... Of course there wasn't. What kind of sad guy would actually go out with the crazy girl who spends half her time baking and the other half obsessing about her studies? Maybe that's why. Maybe I should break out and chat and flirt and... As if I can do that.

What is love anyway? Really. What's the point? A few months of happiness, then a fight and a loss.

That's my problem. I'm far too logical for love. for that kind of happiness.

And I thought I would never write in this.

He told me he's going on the next Hogsmeade trip. I might go. I mean, I could definitely use some cheering up soon.

[jenniferautumn]

J U N E 17, 1977

...I can't believe that

How could they

Life doesn't make sense anymore.


Rest in Peace, Lia.

When you look in the mirror,
Wish you were somebody else.
Just a perfect reflection,
You and no one else.

Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
Never be the same again...

[jenniferautumn]

J U N E 24, 1977

I can't believe I'm home again. Mom and Dad were certainly happy to see me. Both of them came to Platform 9 3/4 to pick me up, but after I refused to discuss Li what happened, they've been pretending that everything's normal and chatting happily since. Normal. How can anything be normal now? Lia's dead. My best friend is dead. I can't talk to them. Not right now. They're too... overbearing. Huggy. Expressing my feelings to anything but paper seems too risky right now.

I will not let myself fall apart. Breaking down is for the weaky, weepy girls that control themselves. Ridiculous. I am better than that...

No, I'm perfectly content with my distraction baking. I've been trying to figure out what's missing from my mother's old shortcake recipe. Sure, it's really good and all, but I think it's missing something... something more...

Well, a few more tries won't hurt.

[jenniferautumn]

J U N E 29, 1977

I'm forced I finally decide to leave the house for the first time all summer, and this happens. Seriously, I was staying in the house for a reason. And I was right to.

I can't that RENATA HALLOWS had the audacity to tell me off like that. I certainly wasn't doing anything wrong. And she comes after me with those RIDICULOUS "body guards"! Who does she think she is!? She’s nothing but a horrible, brainless bitch! Ugh!

…and I can’t believe Delain tried to help me like that when the wands were drawn. How could he stand up for a near-stranger like that? …and I ran away.

What’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t I even…

I ran out into this alley and cried. I had this thought. What if I’m not really alone? What if I’ve been hiding from everyone? I just finished writing a letter to Violet. She’s the one I can trust the most to write back quickly right now.

I really, really hope she does.

[jenniferautumn]

J U L Y 1, 1977

Violet wrote back.

I can't believe how happy this made me, that one little piece of paper. I'm not alone.

And she wants me to go visit her at the circus. I am so, so excited! Words can't even properly express this feeling!

I was wrong. Life can go on.

Now to ask mum about going... This should be interesting.

[jenniferautumn]

S E P T E M B E R 5, 1977

So. I'm back in school. It's just so. weird. I mean, I guess I consider Hogwarts my home away from home, but... I don't know. It's. just different. I mean, it's all the same people that I've always known, minus the graduates, of course.

...and a few other people.

...I can't wait to see Brody again.

But. It's my 6th year. I should be excited! And Delain and I are going to hang out soon! You know, after that whole awkward phase after the Renata incident, it turns out he's a pretty cool guy.

Oh! And Violet and I had SOO much fun at the circus together! I got to ride on the elephant. Other than the fact that it really did have a foul odor, it was pretty amazing.

Well. I have homework to do now. Bleh.