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Post by samraisz on Nov 8, 2009 8:20:57 GMT -5
 Oh, so you've come across my journal, have you? Bugger off. Not like you'll get inside. |
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Post by samraisz on Nov 8, 2009 9:47:41 GMT -5
 entry 001mood ::
[/color] sombreweight :: 152.7lbsbmi :: 21.9calories :: ~200[/right][/font] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think we're gonna be okay
I mean, we'll have to try a little harder
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [/b][/font] Note to self: use toothbrush. Knuckles are getting red.
Today was fairly successful. Managed to skip breakfast (though I had a cup of coffee, a big cup, so I'd say around 5 calories) and lunch without a hitch. Dinner was pretty good too. Had about a cup and a half of veggie salad, let's say 110 calories. I was feeling good and allowed myself some dressing tonight, about a tablespoon of Italian, around 30 calories. I was still hungry so I had a slice of white bread - 55-ish calories, right? Drank so much water throughout the day that I feel bloated, gross. Sometimes it's hard to remember that water is completely safe and actually good for me, haha. Overall, a pretty good day. I'm happy with it.
Summer's coming up pretty quick. Oh and OWLs, ugh. I haven't really studied, but my marks this year have been okay. No O's or anything, mostly A's, and I have an E in Potions. I guess it's because I have a knack for measuring things. I've been kinda going between E and O in Potions all year, but last I checked, I was at an E. Wow. I normally don't give a shit. I still don't, I guess, I'm just rambling. Exams are right after Hogsmeade. I don't think I'll go to the next one. Not that I'm staying back to study. Just. Last time I went, I did something stupid and mega-binged on Honeydukes shit, and felt absolutely revolting for weeks after.
...I feel like shit about lying to Tori. Fuck everyone else, I feel bad trying to convince her that I'm normal. I mean I'm really glad she's with her girlfriends at dinner and I guess I'm just paranoid that everyone is watching me. I'd start skipping dinner too except that would be DAMN obvious. But like - hah, who spends dinner watching other people eat? Other than people like me who eat through osmosis by watching others. That made uh, no sense written down, but it did in my head.
I'm tired. My wrist hurts. Okay, I'm sleeping.
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Post by samraisz on Dec 1, 2009 20:40:52 GMT -5
 entry 002mood ::
[/color] panicweight :: 156.4lbsbmi :: 22.4calories :: ~600[/right][/font] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all you ever wanted
but i could never rescue you
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [/b][/font] You know. I almost don't care that I gained 3.7 pounds in less than a week.
I didn't go to Hogsmeade (knowing how to make yourself vomit and fake sick comes in handy) but Tori did.
She almost fucking died. Isaac saved her life, the big damn hero, but. Tori almost fucking DIED.
Fuck. I wasn't there to look- fuck. Wow.
God I wanna vomit.
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Post by samraisz on Dec 19, 2009 15:51:02 GMT -5
 entry 003mood ::
[/color] scaredweight :: 152.3lbsbmi :: 21.9calories :: ~5[/right][/font] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and barely conscious you'll say to no one
isn't something missing
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [/b][/font] Dars has been missing since Hogsmeade.
Shit.
Everyone else I give a shit about is fine. Good. Even Tori is better but.
Fuck. Dars. What the hell happened. God if she was one of the
She'd better be okay. Shit.
Too scared to even think about eating. Bad that I consider this a plus? Fuck I'm horrid.
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