AUDREY jocelyn BINGBLOTT

[audrey]

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{ A B O U T . Y O U }

Name: Najooj
Gender: Female
Age: 17
E-mail: [e-mail]
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Najooj
Years of RPG Experience: 6-ish
Other: Removed by Staff

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{ Q U I C K . Q U I Z }

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{ A B O U T . T H E . C H A R A C T E R }

Name: Audrey Jocelyn Bingblott
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Year: Fifth
Face Claim: Sara Paxton

Canon or Original? Original.

Facial Properties:

"Perfect golden curls" - right. Nothing is perfect au natural. Audrey spends at least an hour every morning grooming her hair. It's an actual whole process - first, she washes it carefully (because she can't even get near it with a brush when it's in it's natural, dry state), using a shampoo she had concocted with potions especially for her type of curls, and then apply another type of potion to "make it shiny", and then separates every single curl to keep it from tangling before brushing it carefully (one hundred strokes usually, just fifty if she's in a rush). If she doesn't go through this process then her hair is completely unmanageable, quite frizzy and just generally ugly. Which is exactly why she is always the first to wake up in her dormitory - she couldn't possibly let the other girls see her hair in such a state! Her pride would not allow it. And then, once it's brushed and manageable, she begins styling it. Normally, she keeps it as it is, falling down an inch or so past her shoulders in soft curls - she never cuts it shorter than that, since short + curly hair = awful, in her opinion. Sometimes, she'd add a barrette or something equally girly just to spruce it up. Quite often, she likes to straighten her hair. Whatever way she styles it, however, Audrey is very obviously proud of it, often toying with the thick locks, making sure it's in place, and more often than not the first thing she checks in the mirror is not her make-up, but her hair. One would think that she would get incredibly frustrated with hair that can be so unpredictable and difficult, but Audrey enjoys every second of making it...well...perfect.

Makes sense for someone who's a natural blonde to have blue eyes, right? Well, at least, that's exactly the case for Audrey. Her eyes are a surprisingly dark blue - she likes to think the color as "royal blue", since it's sounds so much snottier prettier. Not too dark, but not baby blue either. Her eyes themselves are slightly slanted inwards towards her nose and are set almost exactly apart, below dark blonde eyebrows that are always perfectly plucked and groomed, of course. Audrey dislikes her eyelashes, seeing as they're so light and so are not as obvious as she would've liked them, and often darkens them with make-up. Still, they're longer than natural, much to her delight, and she often skillfully uses them to get her way, glancing from beneath them coquettishly when she's flirting or "seducing" someone, batting them innocently if she's trying to get out of trouble, and so on and so forth. Of course, there's also the what-but-I-didn't-do-anything widening of the eyes along with the eyelash-batting that falls under the "trying-to-get-out-of-something" category. Naturally, it doesn't always work. In fact, she quickly realized that trying it against professors - especially Professor McGonagall ("Ugh, McGonagall. She's so freaking strict. Nothing softens her up."). Sometimes, if she adds a little pout, it could work with the male teachers. Otherwise, it always works with her father, whom she's got wrapped around her little finger - she is daddy's little girl, after all. Her mother is a lot more strict, but can usually bend under her will if she tries hard enough. Her sister doesn't take any of her crap, unfortunately, but it's not often that Audrey wants anything from her anyway, so it really doesn't matter much at all.

Audrey's lips are - she's very proud to note - quite generous. Her mouth is generally rosebud-shaped, with the bottom quite a bit fuller than the top. Everyone knows there's no such thing as perfection, though, and even if she would never admit it out loud, Audrey has features that she absolutely does not like about herself. One of these things is her showing-her-teeth smile. She always feels strange about showing them when she smiles because she knows she looks awkward when she smiles that way. She simply cannot find a way to control it properly without it looking strange, even though her teeth are as white as pearls (she would never have it any other way). Still, when she smiles, she almost never shows her teeth, and likes to think that it's pretty anyway. Her lips simply tilt upwards in a smile which can sometimes be seen as mischievous or devillish. Other times, combined with her looking-beneath-her-eyelashes expression, it can appear innocent - especially when she's anything but. Of course, there's also the typical smug or arrogant smirk she has on her lips a lot of the time. Awkward smile or not, though, Audrey would always think she's the fairest of them all. She doesn't need to have a mega watt smile to look amazing. She simply is.

Going with the stereotypical blonde-hair-and-blue-eyes - and English people in general - Audrey's smooth skin is extremely pale. Which she sees as a good thing. She shudders at the idea of tanning - what, and mar her beautiful, perfect skin with freckles and dark tans? The horror! She's convinced that having freckles is the worst thing you could ever have as a girl. Blemishes in general are awful, too. Finding a pimple in the morning could completely ruin Audrey's day. A freckle is about a hundred times worse since at least there is a possibility to hide pimples and they naturally go away after a few days, but freckles stick around longer. ("Freckles just look awful. I don't know how some girls can spend all those days in the lake, basking in the sunlight, and be happy when their faces are filled with hideous little brown dots. Ugh. Not for me.") It's why she doesn't like outdoors-y things much. Oh, she loves watching Quidditch and other such sports being played ("Are you kidding? Hot guys on brooms? Point the way!"). Overall, she has a pretty face. Her nose a bit too large, especially the bottom part. She has a high brow, which she sometimes covers with her hair using side-bangs, and high cheekbones that she adopted from her father's side of the family. Her chin is pointed, her jaw protruding only slightly and, finally, her ears are quite small - and pierced, of course, since how else could she wear all those gorgeous, expensive earrings? Finally, Audrey's make-up – she usually doesn't lay it on too thick ("Well, I don't want to look like a tart."), and usually sticks to eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss on normal days – didn't want to look too made up, either.

Physique:

One would think that being 5'8 would give Audrey reason to be self-conscious – but if that's what you really think, then you don't know her at all. Audrey almost always manages to twist around what might be considered a flaw into something good, and her towering height is no different. In her opinion being short is for girls who wanted to be "cute" or "pretty". Tall girls automatically equaled sexy and beautiful, dontcha know? Not to mention, it made you look even more slender and graceful (as if she wasn't already! Psht). And so, instead of slouching and attempting to look smaller, Audrey carries herself with the confidence that she tried her best to possess, despite the demon that is insecurity that had never really left her – her shoulders thrown back, her head held high. Of course, there are certain techniques clothing-wise that she has adopted to stop her from appearing monstrous. For example, she keeps her dresses at specific lengths: either just above the knee, smack-dab mid-thigh or, of course, floor length. Anything else makes her look awkward. And, true, she never indulged in high heels that were higher than three inches, and prefers to walk around in shoes that are flat on the ground or only slightly elevated – although not any less glamorous or beautiful than high heels, of course! When it comes down to it, though, it's the way that she carries herself that has the most influence – people stop thinking of her as "too tall". Or so it had been, from her experience. Granted, it made finding a suitable suitor a tad harder since she refused – refused! – to date someone shorter than her.

But that was still up for debate.

Her height isn't really required to "show" her as slender – she really is quite thin. Not extremely, since she refuses to be the type to be all pointy elbows and knees, but still reasonably slender enough to be considered "skinny" – or "fit" if you will – without worrying about her make out buddy err boyfriend at the time feel like he's embracing a skeleton. Much to her disappointment, she is not as well-endowed as some of the girls her own age, although she supposed they would be considered "normal" sized for someone who was only fifteen. A flat stomach (she wouldn't have it any other way) leads to wide hips, followed by long legs. Her curves are more subtle than most, but they're definitely there – and she knows she still has a while to go before she's fully developed, so she's not exactly worried about it just yet. As for clothing, Audrey, of course, wears only the finest that they can afford. She normally stays away from trousers and shorts, sticking to dresses, skirts and the like. She's not too picky about colors, either. If it looks good with her skin tone and what not, she'll buy it.

Wand Type: 12", Elm, with Veela hair core.
Wand Expertise: Charms
Patronus: Peacock
Boggart: Audrey's biggest fear is everyone seeing her for what she thinks she really is: a pathetic, stuttering mess who's confidence is a mask for the many insecurities deep down. The boggart would appear as an uglier version of her: hair in complete disarray, blemished skin, tears running down her cheeks; and then it would talk and her voice as a child would come out – stuttering over every other five words, needing to pause after ever other sentence and breathe in deeply before she could speak, sometimes unable to get any words out. She's afraid of being considered the lowest of the low, the dirt beneath someone's shoe, of being completely disregarded by everyone, of being unnoticed, passed over – or if she was noticed, it was only to be ridiculed. But most of all? She's afraid of showing the real her, because what if there is no real her? What if all she really was was what her Boggart portrayed her to be – some sad, pitiable, stuttering freak that no one would ever love?

Because everyone knows the over-confident ones are the ones who are the most insecure.

Personality:

Coming from a family of social climbers, it makes sense for Audrey to be one herself. She knows the importance of status and, while deep down she pays no mind to the whole "mudbloods-are-not-good-enough" thing (mostly because she can't bother her head about it, she had more important things to think about then how much below her muggleborns are), she still knows that she would never, ever marry anyone who is not a pureblood and from a good family. Firstly, her parents would probably disown her, and secondly, it was her goal. One of the few goals she actually had, as a matter of fact – to marry into a wealthy family with a high status. She dreamed of waiting home for her handsome – okay so he didn't have to be handsome, that was just a personal preference but she wasn't going to be nit-picky – filthy rich husband coming back from another successful day at work where he would've probably made hundreds of galleons, who would kiss her forehead and then slip her some of the money he had made, knowing she needed to go shopping because she hadn't gone in a few days, and then they would have dinner and she would be sitting at the table next to her husband and before them would be their two children, a son and a daughter – both incredibly intelligent, handsome and talented, of course. The looks could always come from her, after all. And no matter how far-fetched the dream seemed to be, Audrey knew it wasn't. Her sister Caroline had married rich, after all. So why couldn't she?

It's ridiculous to think that Audrey could have gone through all that bullying as a child and not have some sort of complications now – and it was true. The teasing, the ridiculing, the name-calling – everything had cut into Audrey, each word, each nickname, making a new scar within Audrey, and she came out of it with next to no confidence what-so-ever. She was terrified when it was time to go to Hogwarts – all she could think was, what if she really was considered stupid? She didn't stutter much at all anymore by then, but what if they still called her names? What if she really was a freak? "What if"s, as we all know, are always dangerous. They lead you into hysteria, and they were doing as such to Audrey the week before it was time to go to Hogwarts. And then her mother, who finally seemed to catch on, took her aside and spoke those words to her – hide your insecurities with confidence. She told her that, if a person was completely confident, if they hid their insecurities well enough, no one would see the flaws they were so afraid would show. Audrey took those words to heart, quite literally. From that day on, she walked with her head up. From that day on, she buried the insecurities. She took care of herself more than she had ever had before, grooming her hair perfectly every single morning, picking out her outfits carefully (this being when she wasn't forced into that hideous uniform), trying to look her best all the time. She wasn't exactly sure when that confidence became arrogance, but somewhere along the line Audrey was no longer pretending – she truly believed (on a superficial level, of course) that she was perfect. That she was the best thing around. And yet deep down, that demon of insecurity still lay, waiting to crawl its way out any moment, catch her by surprise, and leave her feeling pathetic and insecure once more. She had managed to block it out so well, however, that she truly believed – or, at the very least, liked to believe – that it did not even exist.

Her parents had never found it in their hearts to deny Audrey anything. With her "condition", it made her extra special and her parents – and even her sister – went out of their way to make everything else in Audrey's life perfect. If it meant getting her a pony for her sixth birthday, then so be it. If it meant spending on ridiculous toys, so be it. And even after her stuttering ended, Audrey was just too used to getting her way, and for them to give it to her, for things to change. Although now, Audrey's tactics became a little sneakier, a little more manipulative, managing to cleverly twist it around so that they didn't think they were giving her what she wanted until it was too late. And it is not only her family whom she employs these tactics with – but everyone else as well. The professors despair over this, convinced that if she put half as much effort in her work as she does in trying to get out of it and cleverly come up with excuses and what-not, then she would surely be a top student. The fact was, if Audrey really wished it, and she truly applied herself, she could become a top student – or so she told them, time and time again. But honestly? Audrey just couldn't care less about studies. She sneers at those who spent all their lives with their noses buried in books – didn't they realized that they were missing out on so many more fulfilling things in life that they've missed simply because they could not bother lifting their heads from those "captivating" words?

Not to mention, she just couldn't give a flying monkey.

Audrey hates it when the professors have that I-knew-you-couldn't-do-it look when they return an essay to her that she'd half-assed. It was like they were judging her – like they thought she was stupid. Well, she wasn't stupid, and she would show them – and so she threw herself into the next essay due. It wasn't a waste of time, she told herself. Because seeing that undeniably impressed look on the teacher's face when the essay came back with a big red "90" scribbled at the top of it rather than the usual "50" makes it worth it. Of course, she'd never gotten a perfect grade before in her life – except in Charms, that is, and that's only the final exam, which are really the only times that Audrey focuses enough to manage to get good grades. She knew that her future husband would want a wife that was suitable intelligent and, while she did not work throughout the year, she worked hard enough at the end (in other words, crammed, crammed, crammed…oh and sometimes asked for help if she was having a tough time. Her need to preserve her status as "perfectly marriageable" and "a great catch" overrode her pride) to get high enough percentages so far, and expects that she'll pass her OWLs with "E"s and perhaps an "O" in Charms if she's lucky.

To anyone who doesn't really know her, Audrey comes off as a cold, arrogant bitch who cares about nothing and no one – and, to some degree, that is true. She's not unfeeling, but she doesn't exactly express her feelings as well as others – unless that feeling is hate or dislike. If she doesn't like someone, she's not the type to hide it – she's up-front about it, acts like a complete bitch around them, and so one and so forth – except, of course, there are exceptions. For example, if they're someone she believes needs them to believe that she likes them, or someone who has connections, or someone that could help her get somewhere in the world than even if she completely despises them, she'd play nice, all smiles and what-not. Her ability to fake sincerity is quite incredible – so much so that, more often than not, people aren't able to tell whether she does, in fact, genuinely like them or not. Those are the friendships she makes based on what they could do for her – it was all about personal gain in those cases. And while she is not exactly sweet around them, her sense of humor and fun-loving nature shines through here – at fifteen, one is bound to enjoy parties and socializing as the like, even if she is a little more goal-oriented than most fifteen year olds. Still, there is a definite difference between how she acts around her "fake friends", however, and how she acts around her real friends. Those friends are, of course, far and few between. The ones that she could really call her "bosom buddies", that is. To those few, she's a complete sweetheart (when she wants to me), and really quite a "normal, nice" person, if you will – although her arrogance never truly fades. And while she enjoys these friendships, she still views them as a weakness – but an indispensible one. She can't help but care for them, and so doesn't try to fight it. She just makes sure to choose them wisely. During the first few years of Hogwarts – aside from TJ and Lucius – Audrey had had no "true" friends. Oh, she'd had a few who got closer and closer, but it wasn't until a few years later that she could really call them "best" friends and, even then, they weren't that many. More often than not, people aren't interested in getting to know her better. And while she's managed to convince herself that she doesn't care, that she's better off without them anyway since she has bigger fish to fry and what-not, deep, deep down?

She does care.

Likes:
+ Herself
+ Getting her way
+ Purebloods
+ Attention
+ Ballet
+ Jewelry
+ Shoes
+ Wealth, status and the whole enchilada
+ Her guitar
+ Kissing boys ("It's fun, even if it doesn't mean anything. Plus, I'm not going to ignore the fact that there are a lot of extremely attractive young men at Hogwarts. I am not about to pass up the opportunity of having a little fun with them simply because they are not purebloods or wealthy. Although, admittedly, it's more of a passing fancy. They are, after all, no more than a distraction while I pursue the 'real thing'.")
+ Tall boys
+ Shopping ("I love to splurge as much as the next girl. Of course, I probably get to do it more often, and more efficiently, than most.")
+ Teasing Lucius ("It's so hilarious, I swear.")
+ Anything containing sugar
Dislikes:
– Herself
– Her stutter
– Being embarrassed
– Being snubbed
– Feeling insecure
– Being told what to do
– Getting freckles/pimples/anything else that might mar her skin.
– Her last name ("It's one of the hardest words to say for me, even now. And besides, what kind of name is Buh-Buh-Buh…Bingblott, anyways? It is not at all a royal sounding-name, like Black or Malfoy. I hope the man I marry has a more impressive last name.")
– Being underestimated
– Playing sports/most physical activities
– When her hair becomes frizzy and unmanageable in the mornings
– Feeling vulnerable
– Being tickled ("I am incredibly ticklish. If someone so much as twitches their fingers near my sides or something, I'd jump away. It's embarrassing. I hate it. Urgh.")

History:

08/08/1968

Dear Diary,

Daddy says that sumday I'm going to get rid of this stoopid stuhter and boys will stop mayking fun of me and start wanting to marry me, but I'll pik right lyke mommy did and marry into a huge, pureblood fahmilee and be even more rich than we are now. I woonder haw old I have to be for that to hapen?

The Bingblotts are notorious for their social climbing, and had always been even since they were first "put on the map", if you will, in the sixteenth century. Every single member that was born was just as ambitious as their parents – they wanted wealth, they wanted status, they wanted to be one of the highest ranking families, they wanted to be the ones who have hundreds of galas where pureblood families from all countries would come to England especially to attend them. They wanted to be the ones that others were desperate to please so that they might get in their good graces and end up with a higher status because of that friendship. No, they didn't want to be just one of the high ranking families – they wanted to be the top. It was a long climb, though, and they weren't anywhere near the top just yet – but they were getting there. Slowly, but surely. Phoebus Bingblotts' generation seemed to be doing the best – his sister, Drusilla, married Abraxas Malfoy. As soon as the engagement was made, the Bingblotts threw their youngest daughter a huge celebration, of course, and Phoebus was incredibly proud of his little sister for having snagged such a well-renowned husband. The fact that they were family (even by marriage) with the Malfoys put them that much higher up in the hierarchy – or so they thought, at least. Phoebus himself had married a beautiful, half-russian woman who came from quite a respectable family as well; one that was not nearly as impressive as the Malfoys, of course, but he believed that it was close enough.

Maya Dawes came from a family much like the Bingblotts – a family of social climbers. They were not at an equal level as the Bingblotts, and so the Dawes were delighted by the union – it meant they were moving up in the wizarding world, after all. The marriage was not one of love – it was more of one of convenience. However, as per usual when two people with similar personalities and interests (entertaining, social climbing and being generally materialistic being the key factors), it is not unusual for a love to grow. While it is not the passionate love a person might have for their lover, but Maya and Phoebus did love each other – Maya was his companion and vice versa, and he loved her, not as a sister of course, but as a friend and soon he began to love her as a wife, especially when their first daughter was born – Caroline Vivien Bingblott. She was beautiful, of course – what could one expect, after coming from such attractive parents? They showered their baby with love and attention for three years – and then Maya was pregnant again, quite unexpectedly too. It was the result of a passionate night on their anniversary, a slip-up on Phoebus' part who'd gotten a tad too…carried away and had forgotten, since they'd really only planned on having one baby. However, that did not dim their excitement for their next born – secretly, Phoebus was hoping it was a boy.

It wasn't. And yet, they were not disappointed, for they were blessed with yet another beautiful baby girl on the 3rd of June 1962, whom they dubbed Audrey Jocelyn. The attention automatically shifted from Caroline to Audrey, as Maya and Phoebus lavished attention on Audrey – although they never did forget their other daughter, and it was their belief that they treated the girls equally. Caroline still had the typical signs of a jealous older sibling, however – for two whole years, she would do her best to make Audrey miserable; steal her pacifier, her teddy bear, anything she could get her hands on, really, and no amount of scolding could make her stop. Their parents feared that Caroline would never grow out of it; that she would continue to be hateful towards her little sister. The thought sent the ever-sensitive Maya to tears frequently. Her own sister had died when she was a little girl, and the experience of having a sibling had been cruelly stolen from her – the thought of her own two girls having that opportunity right in front of them and not doing anything about it was simply too much for her, and all Phoebus could do was attempt to talk sense into Caroline. No amount of talking would stop the jealousy Caroline felt, however. But she did stop, eventually. It wasn't the lecturing. It wasn't the reprimands.

It was Audrey's stutter.

09/11/1987

Dear Diary,

Sum bois wer meen to me agaan twodai. They saed that I was retaardeed becuz I stutter. But daddy saed that it's not tru.

But it hurts.

[/color]Audrey's stutter began when she was two years old and beginning to speak more "fluently" – supposedly. At first, Maya and Phoebus thought nothing of it. They had heard of cases where the child sometimes stutters, but it usually only lasted a few weeks. A month passed, and Audrey still stuttered; her parents began to worry, but decided to wait a little longer. After all, it was entirely possible that it was still just a phase. Two months passed, still no improvement. Caroline seemed to notice that there was something very wrong with Audrey, and, being six years old at the time, she realized that perhaps teasing her was too cruel – Audrey's stutter seemed to be worse than usual when she was upset, and suddenly Caroline didn't feel like upsetting her at all. Yet another two months passed and still, no improvement. Her parents were horrified; had they birthed someone who was mentally retarded? They both shuddered at the thought – Merlin, what a scandal that would cause. For months, it was all they could think about – how awful it was that Audrey obviously had some sort of condition. Maya fretted over what her friends would say if they find out – probably look down upon them for having such a flawed child.

And then they finally came to their senses and realized they ought to be proud of their beautiful little girl, no matter what. Audrey was three years old at the time – had been stuttering for a whole year now. It was little Lucius Malfoy's party and, of course, they were invited. Maya was trying to convince him to leave Audrey behind – they had not yet informed other people of Audrey's…"condition", if you will. They had both been unaware of little Audrey standing by the door until she called their names. They both turned and their she stood, in her pretty little, white, poofy dress that her mother had bought to her for special occasions, dark blue eyes wide. "Muh-Muh-Muh-Mummy, why are yuh-yuh-yuh-ou saying that I-I-I ca-ca—han't g-g-g-g-"[/b] She couldn't seem to get the last word out and they could both see the frustration and confusion building up within their little girl. Something inside Maya's heart broke – or maybe it was her heart itself- and she found herself scrambling to her youngest daughter, her the skirt of her silk gown whispering against the floor as she crossed it. She gathered Audrey in her arms, hugging the frail body to hers, wondering how she could have ever thought of such an awful thing as to leave their own daughter behind.

And so they left for Lucius Malfoy's birthday, sure of their decision, but still feeling quite anxious. They both knew how cruel kids could be – would Audrey be able to handle it?

Things went surprisingly smoothly at the party, mostly because Audrey didn't speak as much as she normally would, feeling awed by the glamor and wealth the Malfoys owned. She made friends with the birthday boy – also her cousin. Everyone assumed she only stammered because she was nervous, and a few of the eldery there cooed about how adorable she was. It was only a matter of time, though, before they would catch on. The party had been an off-chance. As Audrey continued to stutter whenever she visited the Malfoys – or anywhere, really – the other families began putting two-and-two together and the kids finally realized there was something seriously wrong with Audrey. And once again, Maya and Phoebus found themselves wondering whether Audrey would be able to handle it.

Truth was, Audrey couldn't. She didn't understand why, whenever she spoke, everyone started laughing. She didn't understand the names they called her – "stuttering freak", "retard", "Stammering AJ" and the list went on and on, each nickname as hurtful as the one before it. She was frequently reduced to tears. Even Lucius often made fun of her and, somehow, that made things that much worse off. The few people who she felt no stress around (and thus did not stutter as badly around them) were her parents, Caroline (who seemed to have turned a complete one-eighty and became her sister's protector of-sorts) and finally, TJ Campbell.

When she was seven years old, Maya realized that enough was enough; at this rate, her daughter would turn out to be a miserable, pathetic, insecure girl and no daughter of hers would be anything less than perfect. She had, after all, insured that her daughters were talented in every way possible – Caroline took piano lessons and was being coached in being a top swimmer, Audrey took guitar and ballet lessons. They were both taught to learn proper conduct to the "T", both had the theory of Purebloods being the best drilled into them, both taught that muggleborns – "mudbloods" – weren't worth their time. She could not have Audrey continue to be bullied. And so she and Phoebus sent her to a Healer, only to be informed there was no real cure for this condition – however, not to dishearten them, she informed them that they could send her to a muggle speech therapist. Phoebus was horrified – send his precious daughter to be practically taught at the hands of one of them? And so they went to see another Healer – and this one gave them an address to a wizard speech therapist, to their relief. Audrey honestly couldn't care less at this point. She wanted the problem to go away.

20/12/1989

Dear Diary,

Janie (I'm supposed to call her Mrs. Thomas, but she told me to call her Janie in secret) gave me a list of phrases to say. I liked one the best: "He thrust his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts".

I'd like to thrust my fist into Billy Jackson's face.

[/color]Janie Thomas did, indeed, give Audrey a list of phrases to say. They were a bit like tongue twisters – supposed to help with her articulation, hopefully stopping her stuttering, or at least slowing it down. She also gave her a few exercises to try whenever she began to stutter: singing the word away, picturing the words before you said them, taking in a deep breath before you said a really hard word, saying it in your head first, trying to find alternatives for the words and – most important of all, she told little A.J. - don't pressure yourself, because it became obvious that whenever Audrey was stressed, angry, scared or afraid, the stuttering worsened to the point where she could hardly speak. Of all the exercises that Audrey stuck to, it was the repetition of her preferred tongue twister – he thrust his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts. For some reason, it…spoke to her. Perhaps it reminded her of how frustrated she felt all the time.

Or perhaps it was the fact that she simply imagined "thrusting her fist into Billy Jackson's face".

It was a very long process. For three whole years, Audrey tried and tried time and time again to overcome her stuttering. Some days, she didn't stutter at all. Other days, it was worse than ever. After the first year of going to Janie, her parents stopped taking her since it seemed as if all the help she could give them had already been given. They were just glad she hadn't been a muggle. Could anyone imagine how damaging that would be for their reputation? As if having a stuttering daughter wasn't bad enough, but to send her to a muggle speech therapist? Personally, Audrey had never understood her parents' dislike for muggles and mudbloods, since a lot of purebloods were a lot worse than them, but she knew better than to say anything and, for the sake of appearances and her parents, she pretended to agree and have their opinions on those subjects. It was too much of a headache, after all. She had bigger things to worry about. That being? Her stuttering, of course. And Billy Jackson.

Billy Jackson was her age, but three times as big as her, and infinitely intimidating. He was the bully of the neighborhood, a pureblood of course. She was sure he was somehow related to the Lestranges – those two crazy brothers who absolutely scared the crap out of her whenever she saw them, since they just had that look about them that said if they ever found out that she stuttered, she might possibly be killed for not being a good enough pureblood. Her stuttering, in some people's eyes, was almost as bad as if she had turned out to be a squib - which, thankfully, she was not, having come into her powers when she was seven years old. She had been feeling particularly frustrated since a word just wouldn't come out – and when it finally did, it came out as a scream – and she ended up breaking a valuable glass vase, too. Her parents doubt it had anything to do with the scream itself, and they were simply too thrilled over the fact that Audrey's magic had finally shown to care about the – very, very expensive – vase she had broken. That is, not until they realized that a simple "Reparo" wouldn't fix it. They didn't have the heart to punish her, though – such was the reaction to practically everything wrong she did, after all. They simply didn't have the heart to ground her or tell her off when she had such a huge impairment. Caroline would have been jealous if only she, herself, didn't also pity Audrey.

And even at such a young age, Audrey milked it for all it was worth.

Of course, despite the seeming advantages, Audrey would have given anything to be normal – to not have this stupid, stupid "condition", to be able to speak like a normal person, the way she thought, because while she stammered her words out, her thoughts were completely fluent – not one stutter, not one hiccup, ever went on in her mind. It simply made things that much more frustrating. Especially when kids like Billy Jackson and his gang called her a retard. She was not a retard. She was intelligent, she could write well, she could read well, she was a witch, she was going to Hogwarts and finally joining TJ and Lucius and Regulus and everyone the following year. She wasn't a retard damnit. And she had made it her mission to overcome her stutter before she entered Hogwarts – there was no way she was going to get teased there too. No freaking way. No way no how. She certainly did not need another Billy Jackson at Hogwarts!

Little did she know that the hateful Billy Jackson was going to inadvertently be her cure.

20/12/1989

Dear Diary,

I thrust my fists into Billy Jackson's face today.

I also mastered the phrase today.

Not one stutter.

Wow.

What. A. Day.

[/color]Audrey is ten years old. She's in her newest dress – a beautiful white, knee-height dress with a poufy skirt and sheer, glimmering chiffon layered on top of the skirt of the dress. Her stockings were white, her shoes were white – even the necklace she wore around her neck was pearls, i.e. white. Her mother gushes about what an angel she was, how beautiful she looks. Her father beams proudly and calls her a princess – but of course she is, she has the tiara to prove it, nestled upon her blonde head of curls. Everything is perfect; the guests are having fun, the cake looks beautiful, the decorations are amazing, girls envy her beautiful dress, much to her delight. She has a pile of presents just waiting to be opened, and she is convinced that absolutely nothing can ruin her day. Oh how wrong she was. Since he came from a pureblood family, Billy was invited as well – Audrey had, of course, cried and pleaded and sobbed her little heart out to her parents about inviting "that huh-huh-huh…mean person"[/b]. They stood firm on this, however, even when she threw the biggest tantrum ever and refused to talk to them. They knew how badly their reputation could be soiled if they did not invite little Billy. They weren't happy about it, sure. But it had to be done. And so, he came. For the first two hours, things remained perfect. And then the kids went outside to play games – and that's when it all began. As soon as they were out of earshot of the adults, of course.

"Hey you stammering freak! Have your bloody birthday present, you weirdo!"

The cry was followed by a splat and there was a collective gasp. Audrey closed her eyes tightly, willing away tears, and then opened them again, looking down at her beautiful birthday dress. A huge splatter of mud was smack dab in the middle of all the white chiffon. Tears immediately collected in her eyes, despite her best efforts. Her dress…her beautiful, beautiful dress! "Whu-whu-whu-"[/color] she sobbed quietly, looking at Billy Jackson with hurt, tear-filled eyes. "Wh-wh-why did yuh-yuh-ou do th-th-th-"[/color] She was too upset, too angry to speak. Her fists clenched at her sides and the tears continued to burn in her eyes, but she blinked them away.

"Lookit that. The poor freak can't even ask me properly. You're not even supposed to be a pureblood. You're a disgrace! A freak! A stupid, retarded, freak!" With every word, Billy gave her a little shove, and with each shove she stumbled. She thought she saw TJ start towards them, but one of Billy Jackson's stupid cronies was holding him back. One particular shove sent her flying and the next thing she knew, Audrey was laying in the mud. She gave a little cry of dismay sitting up and looking down at herself. Her dress was more brown than white now – and her arms caked in it, the soppy, dark mud – even the ends of her hair was stained brown. She felt the tears gather once more and she got to her feet, spinning around angrily upon Billy, who took half a step back in surprise. Obviously, he had expected her to remain lying on the floor and take whatever he had to say. Victims weren't supposed to turn on the bully. But no more. She would no longer be pushed around. No more. No more. No more ridiculing.

No more stuttering.

He thrusts his fists against the posts-

Billy seemed to catch himself once more and smirked. God she hated that smirk. "Whatcha gonna do now, freak? Gonna cry? Are-"

-and still insists he sees the ghosts-

"-ya? Of course you are, you're just-"

-he thrusts his fists against the posts-

"-a big, stupid, retarded baby, you-"

-and still insists he sees the ghosts-

"-freak. You stupid little freak-"

She tuned him out. The words were growing louder and louder in her head, becoming a roar, drowning out any sound coming out of Billy Jackson's mouth. He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts…He thrust his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts…HE THRUSTS HIS FISTS AGAINST THE POSTS AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GHOSTS HE THRUSTS HIS FISTS AGAINST THE POSTS AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GHOSTS HE THRUSTS HIS FISTS AGAINST THE POSTS AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GHOSTS HE THRUSTS HIS FISTS AGAINST THE POSTS AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GHOSTS HE -.

"-THRUSTS HIS FISTS AGAINST THE POSTS AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GHOSTS!"[/color]

The laughter died. Billy Jackson's eyes widened with shock.

"He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts, goddamn you Billy Jackson, he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts, I freaking hate you, I hate you, he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts."[/color] All the ridicule, the seven years of being made fun of, the horrible nicknames, the pushing around, the jeering, the bullying – it all whirled in her head like a hurricane and it seemed as if she was suddenly possessed because, while she repeated that phrase over and over again she suddenly cocked her fist back and it flew –

Crunch.

Billy Jackson howled in pain, doubling back.

He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.

Goddamn you, Billy Jackson.

I hate you, Billy Jackson.

Before she could throw another punch, Audrey was grabbed from behind and dragged behind. She hadn't realized she was crying until now, but she was. Tears ran down her cheeks, leaving behind tracks on her muddy face. Billy was being taken away by his parents, who were throwing glares over their shoulders. There went that business association or whatever it was her daddy called it.

She hadn't realized she was still repeating the phrase, either, until she felt whoever it was who was holding her – her mother, she later found out – shook her. And even then she couldn't really stop. "He thrust-"[/color] sob "his fists-"[/color] gasp "-against the posts-"[/color]

"Shhh, shhh, I know baby, I know," her mother was murmuring, and it sounded like she was crying as well. "It's okay, it's okay."

"-and still insists-"[/color] sniffle . Deep breath.

"-he saw the ghosts…"[/color]

From that day on, aside from a few slip-ups on particularly difficult words that she fixed by switching around said words, or when she's particularly angry or scared, Audrey never stuttered.

07/08/1976

Dear diary,

T.J. and I are engaged?

I…yeah, I don't even know.

>.<

Now that the story of Audrey's stuttering is out of the way, let us back-track a few years. Audrey is now four years old, and her parents are setting her out in the wizarding world, starting the whole process of "introducing her to the pureblood community so that suitable candidates for the future might be picked out". One such candidate was, apparently, TJ – Todd Campbell Jr., that is. He was only a year older than Audrey, and they were neighbors. The Campbells were a family much like the Bingblotts – wealthy, materialistic, purebloods. All that good stuff. It made sense to throw their kids together. Audrey was taken to the Campbell residence quite often as she was growing up, almost as often as she was taken to the Malfoy manor. It wasn't long before she truly began to like TJ. He was a boy, sure, but he wasn't like the other boys. For example, he never made fun of her stutter. Oh sure, he asked about it, and she had embarrassedly stammered out an explanation, fearing he would do like everyone else and call her a freak – he didn't. He accepted it as a part of her. It was that day that they became that much closer.

And then TJ went to Hogwarts a year before she did. Audrey had never realized how much she cared for him until that year. They wrote to each other often, Audrey wondering if he missed her as much as she missed him and not daring to tell him just how much she missed him – although she was sure she showed him well enough the next time she saw him. In Hogwarts, she hung around him as often as she deemed it possible without looking too clingy – everyone, their parents included, assumed they would end up getting married and the whole enchilada. They were, after all, both purebloods, both almost the same age. And they did end up getting together. TJ was Audrey's first everything – first date, first boyfriend, first kiss. And for a while, she truly believed she loved him – and then it was the summer before her fourth year and they were suddenly engaged.

Say what now?

Newly-turned fourteen-year-old Audrey inwardly freaked out. This was not how she'd thought things would go. Sure, she liked TJ. Sure, she'd thought she'd loved him. Sure, he'd been practically her first everything (not counting sex since they were simply too young, sheesh). But engaged? Now? Weren't they getting a little ahead of themselves?

But she accepted, all the same. No matter how cold she could be at times, she just couldn't hurt TJ like that. And so, they were suddenly engaged – probably the youngest engaged couple in England. Her parents were shocked, of course. And, although they never admitted it, a little disappointed. Yes, Campbell were the inventors of that revolutionary soup (or whatever it was, they never could exactly remember), but they weren't nearly as prestigious as…say, the Blacks. And, of course, Audrey agreed. And she continued to agree, even more so when they went to Hogwarts and she actually saw Regulus Black from the eyes of an engaged girl – young woman? She knew the Blacks were the best of the best, the purest blood around, the crème de la crème. And, really? She found herself salivating over that kind of prestige. That kind of purity. That kind of status. And so she did the one thing she could.

Broke it off.

But not in the normal way. Because Audrey was a coward wanted to avoid any unnecessary questions, she cheated on TJ – with his brother. It was probably the lowest blow one could ever deal to their boyfriend – errr, fiancé. But she knew it would do the job. She did it right before they went off for their Christmas holidays – cowardly? Probably. And as soon as she returned? She immediately pursued Regulus Black.

And failed. Miserably.

05/04/1977

Dear diary,

Regulus is a fucking asshole and he doesn't know what he's missing out on.

That is all.

[/blockquote]

Well, still. There are plenty of other fish in the sea…right?

Sample Post: {four or more paragraphs}

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{ C O N T R A C T }

I solemnly swear that I, Najooj, have read the rules, understand clearly what my responsibilities are now that I am joining ISS, and will abide by these standards set by the staff.[/color][/blockquote]

[Andromeda Black]

A C C E P T E D !