The Playbook ((James Potter))

[jamespotter]

So. If you're reading this.
I'm going to kill you.
Perhaps not today.
Or tomorrow.
But trust me; I'll find you.
Okay. Exaggeration, perhaps.
But you still shouldn't be reading this.

Even though...
This isn't a diary, a journal
Or any of that other sappy bull-shit.
This is a playbook.
You know.
For Quidditch.
And pranking.
And... shit.
So back off, and get out.

J A M E S   P O T T E R
C O V E R

[jamespotter]

M O O N Y ~ W O R M T A I L ~ P A D F O O T ~ P R O N G S
The Marauders

Things to Do:
[x] Make fun of Snivellus.
[ ] Sneak out of Hogwarts to do... something else.
[ ] Finish Map
[x] Find Kitchens
[ ] Date Lily Evans (okay, so it's not particularly a Marauder incentive, but Merlin's pants, I need to get that girl...)

Possible Pranks:
*Dye water in Lake-- pink? red? gold?
*Put niffler in dungeons... blast-ended skrewt? dragon baby?
^{Note to self: Find out where to buy/borrow/steal illegal magical creatures for such purposes.}
*Jinx/Hex/Curse Regulus Black --> Would Sirius care? Probably. Not? Hmm. Should I even ask?
^{Note to self: Research good hexes/jinxes/curses. I want to do damage.}
*Flood an entire floor. ---> Swimming pool floors? Preferably the floor with History of Magic. Can you drown a ghost?

Lily Evans Update:
Passed her in hallway.
Said hello.
She did not run away or sneer. (One Point)
She smiled. (Two Points)
Said hello. (Three Points)
Walked away.
Wrote about it in this notebook (Total loss of points)
Lesson Learned: Grow a pair. Seriously.

Homework:
HoM: Fell asleep-- ask Remus.
C: Essay on the benefits of laundry charms. 2 ft. roll of parchment -->M O N D A Y!!
Tr: Practice-- test on transfiguring teapots to tortoises.
Po: Wasn't paying attention-- Lily looked far too beautiful. Was too busy glaring at Slytherins.

QUIDDITCH PRACTICE SATURDAY AT NOON!

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J A M E S   P O T T E R
I N T R O D U C T I O N
P A G E   O N E

[jamespotter]

Head Boy
Dumb Boy
Boy-Who-Got-Fucked-Over-With-Some-crappy-Job-He-Never-Wanted-In-The-First-Fucking-Place

Head Douche-Bag

Rounds Report:
...Okay, okay. So I didn't actually go on rounds during the scheduled time and I may have actually gone on rounds... when I shouldn't have even been in the hallway in the first place. Get off my back. I was bored, Potions was going to kill me, and I haven't flown my broom in ages. Still, I got side-tracked, went in the forest, met this girl...

She's a fourth year who's never been on a broom before. I decided to fix that. I'm-- get this --not a very good teacher.

Huh. Who would've thought? Obviously not Dumbledore. Swear to Merlin's beard, he's smoking something in that office of his.

Prank Research:
*Dye job to the Great Lake might piss off giant squid, thus making me fish-food.
*A magical creature would cost way-too-much-fucking-money on the Black Market. Damn.
*Use cloak to get into Restricted Section-- all hexes outside of there are bust. (Seriously, what good would a jelly-legged jinx do when he's Crucio-ing my ass?)

Lily Evans Update:
Because I skipped potions, did not see her today.
Thoughts: The day has officially sucked.

Homework:
HoM: Something about trolls and elves and... their history. Ugh. Ask Remus.
C: Essay.
DADA: Read Ch. 37A
Potions: Skipped-- maybe ask Lily?

Yeah.
Like I have the balls.

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J A M E S   P O T T E R
P A G E   T W O

[jamespotter]

Fucking Bagman.

J A M E S   P O T T E R
P A G E   T H R E E