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Post by aceline20 on Oct 17, 2009 4:36:09 GMT -5
Well we're just a wet dream for the webzine, Make us it, make us hip, make us scene Or shrug us off your shoulders Don't approve a single word that we wrote This is the personal property of all events have been specifically documented for reasons unknown to the viewer. Read. Ponder. And remember through the perspective of a sixteen year old girl, the days that are sure to be the last. I know I will xoxox, [/color]
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Post by aceline20 on Oct 17, 2009 5:35:58 GMT -5
July, 18, 1977 "You know you've got everybody fooled" Dearest Journal;; It feels rather nice to be writing in one of you again. My old scraps are long gone and forgotton, which is a pity-really. All those wasted memmories. Gone and never to be seen again. But reflecting on the past is pointless which is ironic because i do believe that is the whole point of this book-reflection. So maybe i'm a hypocrite. I'd adore for somebody to try to do anything about it. Matter of fact, by the time this is read, i'll probely be kicking pebbles in my grave. But that is completely besides the point. I promised myself no cross outs. I'm going to document my time at hogwarts, emotion by emotion-raw. Since the last time I've wrote, so much has happened. Me and Noah broke up. I should probely be calling him a cheating bastard right now but I almost feel as though I'm over it. He's in rehab, so rumor has it. Nothing less than he deserves, I'm sure. His partying ways has gotton him into enough trouble-If I must say so myself. And with Massie of all people. SKANK. I heard it was all just to get back at Khai, who's now engaged to Rabastan. To think they were my friends, but I got even with them both.
Let me start from the very beginning: It's hard to remember specific details, but we were in hogsmeade. I was intending on supprising Noah but what do I find besides him in a lip lock with Massie Block, that bitch. Ran off to New York, tail between her legs too. But, anyhoo, we argued. I was highly upset to say the very least. My god, my make up looked a bloody mess that night from all the tears i cried. Khai thought it was hilarious. Said I should 'move on'. At the time Amelie, my love, was with Rabastan...so Khai had no idea what torment I was going through. She had yet to love another. At least Danni agree's with me. Says I should smite both the whores. I got Massie and Noah good, though. Wasnt even my intention. I was a wreck, as I said, and Regulus, well-he was very comforting. Now-nothing happened, mind you. But I have little doubt where our kisses were leading when Noah comes bursting through the door like some kind of fucking angel. Half dressed-we were. We meaning me and Regulus, of course. Noah, hot tempered as he is, threw the first punch and it all went reletively down hill from there. They tussled and I ran off once again in tears. I've also picked up a bad drinking habit since attending Hogwarts. Ran straight to a bottle of whiskey. Mother would throw a hissy were she to ever find out i drank with the commoners. Me and Noah split for a few weeks, where I then heard he was dating that isabelle woman. I guess all those pretty promises he gave were a lie because he most certainly wasnt writhing in agony and angst like I was. They do look rather nice together though, despite the fact that she's an insane coke head. I heard this straight from the mouth of Rita, who would never lie to me. Personally, I've never said as much as hello to the girl. Might actually be a pleasent expirience. Hm. Anyway, Me and Noah were going to get back together, because their relationship was rocky and it was clear they didnt have remotely even half of the connection me and noah had but then, god bless him, he gets sent back to America-off to some foreign rehab. I guess it's not really foriegn to him-though thats completely besides the point. He's no Kalib, trust that. But Noah...Noah's special to me. I think I might actually love him. I've been keeping my eyes open for him. I know he doesnt deserve it, but I want to give him a second chance...maybe we can makes things work because I think we have honest potential. I'm a better person when I'm with him and I think he's better off with someone like me. Who can handle him. I know past expiriences doesnt shine highly on that fact, but we've grown up alot in these past few monthes. I know I have.
On to more pressing issues, I've finally came to terms with Jolie. She started Hogwarts for awhile, but I did make her bloody miserable. She left, which was unfortunate. But I saw her again at Indigo's little house party, we talked. Although I'm not ready to call her my sister I guess I can't spite her the fact that she's alive. She didnt ask for it. I suppose she can only make the best of it. Plus, father loves her in his own way. I may not want to except that-but she is blood. Flesh and most importantly blood. Father wants me to show her the proper way ...i dont see how thats possible now that shes off with her whore mother. But, I'll try. For the sake of her having a decent future. I'll try.
I suppose thats all I'll write for tonight. I'm not nearly done with my tales, but it's late and i'm starting to grow weary. So I suppose I'll put these words to bed and speak stories of Rabastan and that wench Liam in the morning. Goodnight, Precious memmories.
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Post by aceline20 on Oct 18, 2009 13:52:57 GMT -5
July, 19, 1977 "No flaws when you're pretending" Dearest Journal;;
Good Morrow, my book of sorrows. Sincere apoligies for my short entry last night, but I was deathly tired. Back to where I left off. Shall we start with Liam? The pathetic fool. He was Tinsley's boyfriend back when I was attending Beauxbaton's. He's never fancied me and I sincerly doubt that has changed due to our most recent encounter in the great hall. He went on and on about how great he was and how he would 'ruin me'. The poor boy, doesnt even know lifes number one lesson: don't play games with someone who can play better. He will lose and I'll make sure he does so miserably. There be nothing but scraps of his social reputation by the time i'm done, tearing him to peices. Ashes to Ashes and he all falls down. I do amuse myself. Then there's Rabastan. My sweet, darling, Rabastan. I do believe I messed things up something horrible with him recently. Drunk and confused, I tried to seduce him-failing, quite sadly in fact. He won't even meet my eye at the AFLS meetings.
Speaking of Advid, a mission has been assigned to us. This weekend, at Hogsmeade of all places, we are to attack. Innocent pedestrians! You'd think it was crazy but-no. They arent innocent so dont pity them. Filthy mudbloods and scum, undeserving of every breath they breathe. I don't want to be a killer, but if that's what must be done to right my wrongs then that is what shall happen. I shall have no regrets and give my best to serve my lord. The fear washes over me sometimes at night but my lord wisperes sweet lullaby's into my hear-soothing me and convincing me and enticing me so sweetly. I have certain responsibilities, it's almost a shame we have to spill all that unclean blood. It's not even fit to seep into the ground I walk on. But it will. I'll hold my head high, despite being so weak. Despite the fact that i'm not passionate like bellatrix, or cold like Regulus or calculating like Narcissa, i'm something they'll never be. I'm determined. Determined to be the best, something they all assume comes natural with their birth. But, one thing i've learned, is it doesnt. People will never automatically respect you. They may fear you. They may despise you. But, by the time this whole riot is done, everyone will be screaming my name. I want my face to be the one they fear at night. The one that turns them over in their grave. As I will it, so mote it be, I suppose.
If I do know one thing it is that I WILL NOT FAIL. I was born for this.
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