mamma mia!

[ameliabones]

PROPERTY OF AMELIA SUSAN BONES.
DO NOT READ UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
(not that you'll be able to, I've cast a spell...)

[ameliabones]

feeling: sentimental
J U N E . 1 0

So, I was home doing nothing as usual, after having sent a reply to Trey's owl, when I decided to go through my old stuff. You know, those tons and tons of boxes of stuff that you keep because you think 'I want to look through these again' and you never do? Yeah, well, I did. And I found lots of things. Old quills, scrolls of essays for school, a scarf that I thought I'd lost, some letters between me and Ted from like, 3rd year or something, photographs of me and my family on that trip we took two years ago to France, and I found this.

Yes, I apparently am the kind of girl to keep a diary, because that's exactly what I'm doing right now. Don't blame me. It was there, in one of those old boxes, all dusty and faded and it was blue, and I love the color blue and I had all these memories from the times when I used to keep this diary, and so I opened it, and read all of it. Can you believe I'd been keeping it since first year? I stopped writing in it in the middle of fourth year, when Pierre and I broke up maybe that's why.

Anyway, I got all sentimental because I'd forgotten that I felt all those things, and I realized that maybe keeping a diary wasn't such a bad idea after all, because in the future you can go back and read it and laugh about all the stupid things you cried about, and remember all the good times you had, and maybe you can even show it to your children in the future, and alas! here I am. Starting again, on a blank page, in my old diary.

Some of the pages from the past years are kind of faded, though, for some reason - so I might just copy them out on a new page after this, you know, in between the excitement of my life right now not. But whatever.

Would this count as a valid entry? Or is it just random rambling. I don't care. This will be officially my first entry in Phase Two of this diary. But don't expect me to go all 'Dear Diary' or 'Love, Mia' or any of that nonsense. It's an inanimate object, for Merlin's sake! I have a point of not talking to things that cannot hear or answer me; and yes, that includes this diary.

Mum's calling me for dinner. I'll update with my life later.

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[ameliabones]

feeling: average
J U N E . 1 1

Yeah, I forgot all about this yesterday. I just woke up and saw it on my bedside table and figured, why not? After all, if I cannot tell my life to a diary, how can I tell it to a person. That made no sense, but forget it.

Um. Okay. So. Summer. Nothing exciting has happened? Is that even allowed? I'm sixteen and my summer has been boring so far. Hopefully that'll be fixed once I go visit Trey, if that happens, and if it doesn't, when we go get school supplies, which will happen. It must.

Oh, lord. Trey. I'd forgotten you know nothing of this, seeing as everything happened last year, and I stopped writing a year before that. Where do I even start? I guess that the best place would be at the beginning, right? Before everything.

Trey and I are...friends. Yes, we're friends. Best friends. One of the closest I have. We became so not in an instant or a moment or this huge inside joke that we happened to share and therefore kaboom! we're bffs. Nah. It was more one of those progressive friendships that blooms over time you spend together and years you see each other constantly. Mhm. Anyway, so in about fourth year we became really close friends, before that we'd been more like...friend-sy acquaintances. Fourth year, right. We became close friends, and I learned all about his past, and he was dating Melody Steele (this bitch girl one year above me, with Trey) and it was all rainbows and happiness and awesomeness.

Then it happened. Fifth year. Melody broke up with Trey. They'd been dating since forever. He was like, in love with her, and she shattered his heart. Badly. You have no idea how badly. He was in constant pain and it was all he could do not to cry and I just felt so bad for him because he was one of my closest friends and he was suffering and I couldn't bear to see him like that. It was horrible.

Okay, so the drama? This one day. It was really bad, okay? They'd had charms together or something and Flitwick had assigned them to be partners (not that I remember every detail, psht, what are you talking about?) and it was really horrible, that's all I know. And anyway, I felt like I should talk to him, be there for him, you know? About a month or so had passed since they broke up and he was still taking everything personally...anyway, I went to look for him, and I found him in the library and we talked and...

Fine. We kissed. He kissed me, I kissed him. I don't know. We just did.

And it's...I don't know. It feels so cheesy trying to put it into words but it like...sparked or something. It just felt really right. So right. Sadly, it was all one-sided. Trey felt like it was nothing, just this thing that happened between good friends and urgh - I hate feeling like this! I feel like I broke his trust or something! Like I'm not supposed to feel this way, but I do. And it sucks. Horribly. He has no idea, of course, I couldn't ever tell him. And now he's all over this bitch Marielle from like, Slytherin, I mean what the hell, please? Slytherin? Trey can do so much better than that! me, maybe And they're all googly-eyed and he says that he's so into her and she's wonderful and obviously, gorgeous, and blonde. Please. How more cliched can BLONDE get? Urgh, I hate her. Anyway, he's so excited and happy that I just can't say anything against her in front of him because it would hurt him, and I don't want that. And of course nobody knows about what happened that day at the library. We agreed to keep it a secret and it's killing me and I feel so freaking unwanted cause to me it meant so much more than that...

He should dump Marielle.

But I'm not going to point that out for him, nor is anybody else for the moment. He has to figure it out himself. She's just not right for him! But he will get over her and see the light and then fall for me. I just know it. pleaseplasepleaseeee God

Still. As much as it hurts and kills me, it would be so much worse if I told him. Then it would get awkward and the amazing friendship that we have would just die and nothing would be the same, so - I cannot say anything. At all. And being the smart, responsible, innovative young woman that I am, I have made the decision to get over him. Yeah right. Fine, to try to forget him for a little, you know? Date other guys, expand the horizon. Have a little fun.

Okay, that was...refreshing somehow? It feels nice to put things into words. Words make sense. Not like feelings. Great. Yes, see? It was a good idea keeping a diary, after all. A pat on the back for younger me. And now, I'm going to get my lazy butt from this bed and do something productive.

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[ameliabones]

feeling: disappointed
J U N E . 2 3

Still summer, and still restless and stuck home. Can you believe it? This should be illegal. Ian has met up with about half of Hogwarts in the past month and I still haven't seen a single one of my friends. It's about time I did, don't you think? I've been sitting around moping and doing nothing but chores, homework, and reading.

Speaking about things that have to do with words. Like letters for example. I don't understand people who don't reply to letters. What could possibly be stopping them from doing so? They don't want to reply or the letter got lost? No, because if that were the case then the owl wouldn't have come back, would it? Then what is taking Trey them so long to reply!

.......fine. All right. Trey hasn't replied to my latest letter. We were supposed to meet up sometime. I'd go visit him or something, and we'd see each other and he'd be with me and not Marielle for a moment and it'd be perfect and I'd already asked permission, mom allowed me to go and all...but no. He decides he's too important or too busy to respond to a measly friend of his he used to care about.

This is really pathetic, isn't it? Me moping around for some guy? Who would've thought. If only I had a fresh start or something...anything to distract me from this guy who happens to be my best guy and who happens to be in a relationship.

I hate my life.

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[ameliabones]

feeling: reminiscent
J U N E . 2 8

Okay, so I read a few of my entries from third year, about the last ones that I made. You cannot believe how many things I wrote about my times with Ted. Seriously, I can't believe I didn't take up like, three diaries or something.

I'll post a few so you can see what I mean. I was such a spazz...it's actually pretty embarrassing...

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[ameliabones]

A U G U S T . 1 0
1 9 7 5

I AM ABOUT TO DIE OF HAPPINESS. Seriously. Can you die of happiness? Is it possible? I'm almost sure it is. If not dying, at least having some sort of attack or epilepsy or something. I can barely write. I'm trembling all over. This must be a dream or something, I can't believe it's just happened to me.

Yes.

Ted Tonks just asked me to be his girlfriend. Ted. Tonks. As in, the most perfect amazing hottest smartest cutest sweetest most adorable guy in the entire school of Hogwarts. As in my best friend that's a year older than me. He's fourteen and he wants me to be his girlfriend. ME! Him! As in the guy that I've been in love with the entire last year. As in the guy that I thought would have never given me a second glance. As in that guy that every girl in school must also be in love with. He chose me. I'm still in shock.

It was...so romantic! So sweet! Okay, so I had Transfiguration, right? And when I left the class - it was the last one of my day - he was standing there and he asked me to go with him; so I did. He took me to this empty classroom in one of the towers that I'd never been to before. It had a beautiful, huge window overlooking the lake and the forest and it was nearly twilight and everything looked gorgeous. Then he turned around and handed me carnations. Yes, carnations. As in my favorite flowers? Yeah. I literally melted on the spot right there, and as I stood there speechless he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend.

I will ask again: can I possibly die of happiness?

I'm never going to be able to go to sleep now. I'm Ted Tonks's girlfriend. HIS GIRLFRIEND! How can I sleep knowing that? Oh, I can't wait for it to be tomorrow, so I can see him, and talk to him, and be with him, and --!

(I'm still freaking out.)

All right, well, now that I've vented my feelings a little, I'll go try to at least dream about him or something.

the happiest person in the entire planet,

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[ameliabones]

N O V E M B E R . 1 1
1 9 7 5

Another day passed, another day that I'm Ted Tonks's girlfriend. It's been three months and one day and I still can't get over that fact. It's like...I can't believe this is actually happening to me, you know?

Like when you meet somebody famous and you think 'Seriously? I'm actually seeing him/her in person! Wow!' or when something terribly horrible happens to you and you think 'This things happen in books, they happen in stories, and they happen to others, but not me'. That's exactly how I feel right now.

I sent a note Ted's way today. I told him I loved him, again. He told me he loved me, too. I love hearing that.

We had an epic chess tournament after classes: I won. I'm sure he let me, though...typical of him. And I absolutely love it. Of course I'd never say it to his face but him being so chivalrous and gentlemanlike...it's amazing.

I really am entirely in love with him.

still the happiest person in the entire planet,

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