Post by Remus Lupin on Sept 22, 2012 15:29:18 GMT -5
HE WAS ALWAYS DISTRACTED
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CARRIED ON LIKE LONG DIVISON
Itching power, acid pops, inflatable tongue. The possibilities were endless for the newcomer, but when you had already preformed every trick in the book you became limited. It was acceptable to reuse some of the more popular pranks but you couldn’t do that for everything. Remus perused the aisles in search of new items he could show off. Remus didn’t often use these devices on other people; he saved them for a comedic moment on a friend. You might think that because Remus and his friends were now graduates that they would be beyond such childish pranks. You would think wrong. To them, the classics never really got old. A person could not go wrong with hiccough sweets nor an anti-gravity hat. Wait. A nose-biting teacup? Smiling, he picked up the box that held a perfectly unassuming, dainty porcelain cup. It assured the user that those who tried to drink from its vessel would get a surprise nip on the nose. He placed it in his basket and continued to walk down the aisle. It was nice to have a temporary release from everything difficult and have a good laugh once in awhile. Don’t worry; what he was buying was on sale. Remus was a bargain hunter make no mistake. Laughs could be cheap and no one but he would ever have to know about it. Something sprung out from the shelf at Remus’s eye level and cackled at him. He jumped a foot back because of the suddenness of the event. He really wasn’t sure what THAT was supposed to be so he shrugged his shoulders and walked by it, listening to it cry as he did. You had to expect something of that nature to happen when you were in Zonko’s Joke Shop. If you weren’t paying attention the joke would be on you. That was part of the reason why it was always so noisy in the store. Someone was laughing, or screaming, or gagging, or making another bodily noise every minute. You were allowed to try out the products to ensure customer satisfaction. Zonko’s probably didn’t have returns on their merchandise very often.
A pretty woman walked by Remus in the narrow aisle and he plastered himself against the shelf to avoid touching her. Suppose she turned around and thought it had been on purpose? That would have been awkward. He was being polite, it wasn’t as though he was afraid of girls. Not really. If he was afraid of them, it was only because he was smart and girls were unpredictable. But like I said, he wasn’t afraid of them. Remus had been out with girls before. Sweaty palms and croaking voices aside, it had always been pleasant. No second date just meant they didn’t have anything in common, and nothing more. When she had passed, Remus could take back control of the aisle. His thoughtless decision to lean against the shelf had come at a price – some little colorful, spiky things were sticking to the back of his shirt and he’d been sprayed with something clear and wet. He needed to get out of this aisle. He plucked off one of this soft spikes but it just stuck to his hand. So that’s what they were. They were probably a nightmare to get completely off of your body. Remus was certainly faring worse in this store than he usually did. He had to dodge some Hogwarts students who were here for the weekend when he exited the aisle. Remus decided to make sure he was finished shopping and purchase his items first before he dealt with the matter of those weird little critters on his back. The cashier rung him up and paid no mind to anything unusual. He had probably, after all, seen worse. Remus recalled a day when he was in the store and students, against the warning label, had opened a box. There were stink pellets flying literally everywhere and the store had to be evacuated. Imagine that – Zonko’s Joke Shop actually needing to be evacuated for one of their own pranks. Well, the stench was unbearable.
Once his items were in a bag he walked to the back of the store in a corner where overstock items were stored. Nothing interesting – just large quantities of what was already on display and items from last season that didn’t sell well. There he plucked away at the little spiked balls but it benefitted him nothing. It was hard for his arm to stretch that far backwards and half the time when he reached for one of them, the little spiked ball wiggled away further up his back, making it more impossible to reach. Remus sighed. He didn’t care much in here, but people were going to stare at him outside if he didn’t get them off. They had to be some instructions…….he looked at the box they normally came in. Nothing. They were like little parasites. “Ow!” Remus looked down at his finger and realized that one of them had bit him. It was just a prick, it didn’t even leave a mark, but it was as if they little…whatever-it-was was warning him. Remus narrowed his eyes. Okay, that’s it. He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, because as I said, he was in the only deserted section of the store. Then he shook his shirt wildly, trying to resist shivering as the air conditioning hit his bare skin. When he shook his shirt enough, they began to one by one drop to the floor like dead weights. One of them tried, however, to crawl up his shoe and he took a step back before stepping on it. That seemed to deactivate the beasts. Deactivate. Remus smiled triumphantly and dropped his shirt on the floor, stomping all over it like he was putting out a fire. Yeah, because that didn’t look strange at all.
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tags;; ANYONE!
music;; Long Divison - Death Cab for Cutie
notes;;
