Repetition

[mcclarence]

Presenting Jinxter Olivia McClarence

R.avenclaw|E.XTRAordinare

Mood|Light
Listening To|Amortentia ; The Weird Sisters

Dear Diary,

I've never been called anything but positive things. I guess that helps with my whole attitude towards life, wouldn't you think? But I don't find it to be a struggle. I actually find it quite easy, if we must denominate it as something. Because it's not something I have to

try to do it every day. It's not something I tell myself I have to be. I just am. I can't picture life as anything other than being what we want it to be, what we make it out as. And well, life has always been like this. Hard and not so easy, but still, what I shape it out to be in the end. I decide. Isn't that absolutely wonderful?

Certainly, I think so.

On another note, I have to share with you, dear diary, all of...this I have pent up inside. For life being happy must not mean that I don't feel anything else. How to start? First of all, you do remember that small crush I mentioned to you earlier, don't you? Well, that small crush (that was never that small to begin with) had all but disappeared from my life. I mean, Drew is my bestest friend and all, but he sure knows how to pull the disappearing act to perfection. Can't say it didn't affect me, since I was all but distracted to exhaustion until I ran into him in the library, of all places. Yes, he affects me so. Why should I deny it? I'm utterly crushed by my best friend. And he doesn't even notice it. At least I don't think he does. If he did, what do you think that would happen? I'm not panicking over it or anything, I'm just wondering. I don't have any objections on him knowing. Nobody has any objections on the subject. Nobody.

Except of course Isabella Swan.

Which happens to be none other than his oh, so perfect Girlfriend.

Yes, with a capital G. Because I sincerely believe that my tranquil Drew is kind of falling for her. Hard. You do see why that kind of makes me feel left out, don't you? But I refuse to be anything but upbeat. I don't care if he's taken. That hasn't stopped me from spending time with him before. Why should it now? I'm not mean, so I won't say that I'll try to pull them apart, but I'm not dishonest either, so I consider it my duty to report that if they broke up, I wouldn't be anything less than ecstatic. Rather selfish, since I know that wouldn't make him happy at all, and best friends are supposed to want only what's best for their friends. But what can I do? It hadn't happened before, my love life and my friendships interrupting each other in such a way. They always took separate ways. Now, I just have a mess in my hands. Not necessarily a bad thing. Feeling the way I do only makes me appreciate things more. On a different level, if you will. You start noticing the small things, the little details that you would never guess pass by so unnoticed because we take it all for granted.

I believe there's not much else to report, so I believe I shall say farewell for now.

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