Spin,

[Indigo Grace]

She felt the need to point out that he was just as an unpleasant situation to her as she was to him, but she didn’t. Indi herself always tried to avoid things that got you into sticky situations, or generally somewhere you didn’t want to be. Wasn’t that just human nature? No one wanted to feel uncomfortable, no matter how confident they were. The pair of them were definitely at a standstill in whatever relationship that they had. Friendship? Hardly. Something more? Even more inaccurate. Enemies? Not quite. It’s like they’d been so many different things to each other that they were now left confused and had no idea where to leave it. “You don’t have to avoid me you know, that’s your choice.” It was, but in a way it wasn’t. If the only other choice was a brawl of words, it was obvious what anyone would choose. Still, Indigo stood by her comment.

How they would react to each other at the end of all this, no one could know. They’d probably just carry on with their silly lives, and only acknowledge one another when they had to. She hated the sound of that, even that idea popping into her mind made her angry with herself. She certainly didn’t find the honor in quitting something, especially a friend. Friends were so hard to come by, yet people lost them so easily. Indigo most of all, who was just tossing them away right and left over this past year. True her life had made her more unwilling and it seemed like a good excuse, but in the end, her home life wasn’t a valid reason for why she just didn’t seem to care. There had to be something wrong with her, there really did. Here they were, and it almost didn’t seem right that they were even looking at one another. When you weren’t with someone anymore, weren’t you just supposed to ignore them and move on? That’s what she usually did, even if the method wasn’t usually practiced by others.

Hugging her, was one of the furthest things from Indigo’s guessing list that Ethan would do. Her first thought was that he would just pull away and say he couldn’t do this, and her second was that he’d scowl at her and do something drastic like hex her. After all those years of fighting, he was bound to finally get one good hex on Indi. The way he’d been waving his arms around like a mad man, you could see what she’d get that sort of idea. For a split second she wondered if it had been wise to give Ethan his wand back. “As do I.” Indigo never specified that it was him that she hated, for it wasn’t really so. She told a fib in the broomsticks, something that was uncommon. Marlene had to be rubbing off on her. Feeling his face against her hair Indigo hugged him back tightly, afraid he’d slip away otherwise. She stayed like that for awhile; not really sure what else to do. And, for the first time in a long time, it was comfortable.

[ethan]

"[...] It left you clinically dead and made it all that much easier to lie"

It would be so easy to just pretend nothing had ever been out of place to begin with. Ethan was all for falling back into an uneven pattern that kept you on your toes. And nobody was suited better for that than Indigo Grace. He'd managed to keep an indifferent facade, but have you heard that corny expression 'under your skin'? Well, it wasn't quite like that. But it was bordering so tightly that it was starting to make Ethan wince with the cliché of it all. And then, they had dated. And then they weren't. And then they fought.

It was all so, so, so useless.

Hugging her tighter yet, his smile turned wistful. They wouldn't be stuck in this emotional limbo forever. The fine line they were walking right now, would disappear soon enough and everything would end up in a pretty dirty mess, emotions akimbo. Could you blame him for not caring? He was so tired of fighting against the current. Ethan didn't care what the current was. Call him selfish, he just wanted to be alright. And lately, that wasn't a possibility. Not even Lily had been able to cheer him up, no matter how much time he spent with her and her brilliant presence. Everything was just going downhill at his short age of seventeen. What was wrong with the world? Things weren't supposed to be like this. Things were supposed to be looking up for him, a brilliant future with a given career. He was supposed to be unstoppable.

And here he was, trapped in an unbreakable silence.

Unbreakable because he refused to break it. It was as if talking would ruin it. He knew it for certain, and he only wished that the moment could go on for just a little while. He didn't wish for forever, because being Indigo and him the subjects of it, he knew it wasn't bound to last that much, and in the end, it was for sure he was going to break the 'spell'. But it was so comfortable. As comfortable as it hadn't been in ages, and Ethan realized how much he had missed it. Sure, he had missed Indigo too. Why deny it? It wasn't as if he was wallowing in self-pity in some random, dark corner. But he missed this. The comfort of it all, this unspoken agreement of just accepting things. He didn't know where he stood with her, but Ethan convinced himself he didn't particularly care about it. No matter what, it would pass, like all things did. That was just a general life rule, so deal.

Kissing the top of her head, Ethan pulled back slightly, not taking a step backwards, but instead just separating themselves by raising his head. Her brown hair and eyes, her perky nose. Hell, he knew that face by memory. Was there something wrong with that? Because he couldn't find anything wrong about it. Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself. Who knew?

Who cared?

"And I'm suddenly speechless," he concluded, with a sad shake of his head, that dratted wistful smile still in place.

[Indigo Grace]

It wasn’t a very long silence, but to both of them, it sure seemed like it. Hugging him there, Indi didn’t know what was going to become of them, or if they could mend anything someday. It seemed like they had both taken their share in ruining their friendship with one another, probably because they had taken it too lightly. It sometimes felt that way; like she occasionally forgot that you had to try a little to stay friends with someone, and that it didn’t just stay that way without any effort. Indigo felt like it was more her fault then his, and it probably was. With Ethan’s arms wrapped around her she took in that incredibly familiar scent that she once was used to. It was so quiet, that she didn’t want to do anything. To say something at that one particular moment would almost feel like Indigo was disrupting something. Of course she understood it wasn’t going to last, but all the same.

She had missed so much. Not fighting mind you, not in a million years would Indi ever miss that, she’d had enough fighting without him. But Indigo would always miss one of these rare moments in between their words when they finally got along and were, at least in a loose sense, happy. It almost seemed worth all the anger just to have that little part. At least it was. There was only so much you could take. It’s obvious they had more in common then they often wanted to admit. First of all, they didn’t like the way their father pushed and shoved them into something. What with Ethan’s training and Indigo’s dancing. Still, with all their similar traits, pride and wittiness being just a few of them, getting along was not something that could be accomplished. She knew after this night, it’d probably end. They probably wouldn’t be able to talk to each other anymore. Indi kept telling herself it was for the best, and that’s what she gets for getting too attached. She knew otherwise of course, but didn’t want to realize that.

‘And I’m suddenly speechless.’ Somehow Ethan knew exactly what she was feeling and merely expressed it out loud. When she noticed it was his own thoughts, she smiled that sad smile. “So am I....you and I, both struck with silence, at the same time. In any other situation it would be nothing short of a miracle.” If one wasn’t rambling on about something the other was. Running into him hadn’t been a complete disaster, considering her own mood. She’d been awful to several people that day, and had no regrets. Stuff like that always concerned her, making her wonder why she was the way she was. Sweeping his long bangs away from his eyes so she could see the blue, Indi shrugged. "This is utterly confusing. But I don't care, I like being here, with you. No matter what it is."

[ethan]

"No, it's nothing that I'm proud of."

Ethan let out a bark of laughter, his eyes downcast as he shook his head at the rarity of it all. He knew that for this to repeat itself...it would be a one in a million thing, and for him to have this opportunity and waste it just like that, he would never be able to forgive himself. Ethan had to come to sorts with all the things that had happened between them. After all, one didn't just date someone because a 'why not?' factor. Weren't there feelings involved?

Yes, there were.

It was incredible. Even after all the verbal lashings they had thrown at each other, and the mental abuse they had put each other through, there was still that sliver of something that made Ethan seek her out in the castle, sometimes just to cross some barbs with her. Because that, in itself, was some kind of contact. And how sad did that sound? He knew it could be more than that. But it had been more than that, and it just hadn't worked. Why? Who could tell? He was tired of the vicious cycles, dammit. He just wanted to let things go, that was all.

"What can I say to the one person who's capable of rendering me speechless?" he questioned rhetorically. Looking her in the eye, Ethan raised his hand, his fingers automatically curling around her hair. It was all so, so foreign to him. You couldn't blame him for being a practical kind of guy, and really, it was only Indigo who managed to make him act idiotically every once in a while. "Sometimes I can't believe we actually dated. And then there are times where I can't believe there was a time when we didn't. And I'm tired of not making sense." His tone of voice was frustrated. It colored his words, and well, he wasn't planning on denying it. "Just tell me what to do. Because the only solution I see to this, is for me to keep my...distance." His tone of voice was soft, and he had decided a while ago that he wouldn't push her. After all the gross misunderstanding he'd been in, it was fair that the decision depend on her, and only her. You see, Ethan had a tendency to be selfish. And now he wasn't in a situation where he could be so without managing to involve someone else.


[acck, short & rather pointless =/ My apologies.]

[Indigo Grace]

It was ridiculous, how much they had put each other and themselves through over the years. It was sort of like 'good grief, just end it already. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.' But it was something that she could never do, she liked being around this boy far too much. Of course, he certainly didn't bring out the best in her most times, but there was always that rare moment when they connected, and Indigo didn't feel like she had to hide anything. Where would they be? It was hard for not only them, but all of there friends to say 'Indigo' or 'Ethan', instead of 'Ethan and Indigo.' Even when they weren't dating, which was a lot, they were still around one another all the time. She didn't want to admit it anymore, but this jerk was still one of her best friends. She was commonly a loyal friend when she finally made one, and it seemed to weak to just give up on it.

No more Ethigo, just..Indigo. It was a bit lonely sounding actually. In class, outside, at feasts, writing notes, making fun of someone, fighting, laughing; they were always next to each other. She was the girl who was friends and a little bit more with all the boys, and gave the cold shoulder to most girls. Now this year, everything was turning upside down. Why was she all of a sudden so cold to all her guy friends? It seemed right and left she was severing their friendships, and coming more into terms with the girls. Indi was completely lost this year, and worse than that, she couldn't see any of this coming. Indigo had a gift, which she actually thought was more of a curse, but still, she was completely in the dark as to what was in her future. It wasn't fair. At least to her.

It'd been so long since Ethan had touched her hair that she smiled before she could control it. He was one of the few people who had permission to do so. She didn't answer him on that one, one of the first times she had nothing to respond to. Neither one of them ever made any sense about that topic, and it wasn't surprising that they still weren't. "It seemed when we were together, it was too chaotic, we were fighting too much. But then when we weren't, it just wasn't enough." There was no inbetween, except friends with benefits. Indigo never minded having such a thing with anyone, especially when her idea on love was criticial, but she never wanted that with Ethan.

He wanted her to tell him what to do, something she couldn't ever have a good answer for. Ethan and her both were selfish people, and did things for their own desires. Yet here he was, giving her the final word. There was one thing she should say, one thing in the back of her mind that she wanted to. But Indigo didn't usually pay a second glance to her heart, only her mind. After all, it had no idea what it was talking about. The only thing it ever did for her was hurt her. Her mind was much more practical and thought-out, aware of what the real world was like, or at least so she thought. That four-letter-word that was burning on the tip of her tounge just couldn't be let out. It would go back on every principle she'd ever taught herself and believed, to make things easier. Indigo stared up into his eyes, wanting to say it somehow, and yet not trusting or believing herself enough to do so. It was simply not allowed. She couldn't. Shaking her head, going stiff, she answered the only thing she didn't want to. "I can't." Indigo softly shrugged her shoulders, knowing it was for his good for once, and not her own. "I can't tell you what to do, there's nothing....for me to say. You're right." As soon as the words escaped, she felt more hollow then ever.

[ethan]

"We're making an example out of you."

And her last words made Ethan's mind plumet to the soles of his feet. His stomach had bottomed out and it was difficult to even keep that fake, wistful smile still intact. Really, where was all this coming from? Since when did he care so much?

And why was he reverting to denial?

Oh yes, that's right. Something about self-preservation. It was never good for him when he was turned down, was it? Beside masculine ego and all that, the fact that it was Indigo, refusing to acknowledge it was what made it worse for him. Far from trying to convince her, Ethan just nodded resignedly. You really couldn't force someone, could you? It had been his suggestion for him to stop contact altogether, but could you blame him for wishing otherwise? He wanted Indigo to tell him that it was not necessary. That they weren't capable of keeping their distance. Because it was true, dammit. At least in his opinion, it was true. It wasn't possible. He had tried it several times, and the consequences were always the same. It just wasn't fair. And for her to give it up so easily? That was how much it was worth, was it not? That was how things were measured, whether you wanted it to be like that or not. Value...

But she had asked him to stay just moments ago. Why was she so damnably contradicting? And wasn't that one of the things he most enjoyed of her? Seeing her playing it out, not knowing what was next, what she wanted...but it wasn't half as amusing when you were the victim being played. And perhaps he had a knack for the dramatic, but what did it matter? Indeed, what did it matter. Shaking his head, Ethan looked up again, this time a defiant glint to his eye that hadn't been there moments ago. Since when were things so easy with Indigo? If she wanted him to be away, then he'd do the opposite. That was the basic nature of their relationship. Doing the opposite of what was requested, because in the end...in the end that was wanted.

History wasn't ended. It was always being constructed. And he'd be damned if he didn't make his own history. "Well, darling, I've never been one for taking orders." And his smirk really said it all. The spare moment of sobriety had passed, and now it was time for him to take the reigns again. Control. That was all there was to it, in reality. If Indigo didn't want to cross paths with him again, then she would have to double her efforts, because instead of avoiding her, Ethan would be looking out for her. And both of them being Gryffindors...it was all too easy.

[Indigo Grace]

ooc: I got kicked off the comp, but I saw what you said in the c-box, and thanks! Shouldn't be too hard for you though, you're an amazing rper


Indigo watched every expression etched across his face, and it irked her. And? Uh! He did that on purpose. He knew her far too well, far too much for her own liking, and in that way, he knew she examined every detail and emotion in a person's face. He was purposefully hiding any inkling that would lead her to believe he cared what she had just said. That's the way it went with the pair, that's the way it always started. Indigo usually got angry first, and then she brushed it off with a very cold and unattatched comment, which could generally get Ethan going. It should probably be a little disturbing how they knew the specifics to annoy the other, make them angry, make them furious, and also, if they were really going below the belt, push them over the edge. He was terribly...grrr, infuriating. Indi held her long neck up high as she eyed him, waiting slightly impatiently for some kind of response.


Watching him nodd his head, Indigo looked a bit downcast. He take that way too well. What was wrong with him? Oh sure, their friendship meant that much did it? Hmph. Forget that fact that she had just said such a thing out loud, and kept messing with his mind; one minute being angry, the next asking him not to leave and work it out, and the next minute asking him to leave again. But sometimes Indi was irrational in her thoughts when she wasn't allowed to be irrational in her own actions. Was it finally that he had just given up in his own way, and faced the facts? Pah, lord what were the facts? It didn't seem reasonable as to why they couldn't be sure where they stood with one another. If they could just say exactly what they wanted to, it would make a world of difference. But maybe that difference would just make it worse. The fear that it was just going to make things more complicated kept her silent.

Something changed in his eyes that he let her see. What was that.....did she see difiance? Instictively, because not out of want, her eyes narrowed to slits. What was that Gryffindor boy thinking now? Something obviously changed in his emotions and he was back to normal, well, sort of. Something was a bit different. Indigo knew she shouldn't be narrowing her eyes at him in this moment, but it couldn't be helped, especially at his next words. "Why....what IS that supposed to mean?" She moved her hands back to herself and placed them on her hips, a look of no funny business on her face. "What are you up to now Ethan Cartier." Hadn't they both just decided that it was best to....not be around the other? She hated the idea, but for once she decided it was better for him, despite her own stubborness and want. But ah yes, she knew that look well. He was simply going to do something against her will because he could.

[ethan]

"Well this is phase one, this is a preview."

Ethan couldn't remember when he'd first met Indigo Grace. As it was oft to happen with him, the most interesting relationships, the most delicious, if you will, were all a hazy blur stored uneventfully on the back of his head. Unexplainable? Yes. Understandable? No. He had never been able to pin-point exactly what was it that made him not remember correctly. But what was there to do about it? Absolutely nothing. So Ethan had accepted that with a sigh of resignation and moved on. There were times when he desperately wanted to remember, though, and now would be a perfectly good example to that. He knew he'd met her somewhere around her third year. Of that he was certain. How he'd come so attracted to her, he didn't. Not a single inkling. As always, it was a mystery. Wasn't it always like that with her? Yes, it was. But that was part of the appeal, he guessed. Perhaps if it wasn't like that he wouldn't be so...hooked?

Man, he was such a goner.

It wasn't even funny anymore, seeing her narrowed eyes and suspicious expression. Because all of a sudden he realized just how serious things were getting for him. And it was all a will match with her. It other words, it was simply a game. And he didn't want it to be, dammit! His own eyes narrowing, he took another step closer toward her in an almost subconscious gesture. He wanted her to see it. What it was all about. What he was all about. And maybe it wasn't the time, maybe it wasn't the moment, maybe she wouldn't manage, and maybe he didn't care. She had to know. Or, well, he had to tell her. Ethan wanted to let her know just how things were for him. How much of a mess he was in, now that he was allowing everything to flood through his careful wall of denial.

Laughing, he shook his head again, this time at her. "It means whatever I want it to mean. But then again, it could also mean however you interpret it. It doesn't matter." Shrugging he ran a hand through his brown hair, looking sideways for a moment, evading her gaze. And he was suddenly a child, nervous, the words on the tip of his tongue, but unable to utter them just because they had no beginning...and no end.

"You have absolutely no idea do you?" he murmured, raising his hand with the intention of resting it against her cheek, but seemed to think better of it and let it fall against his side. "I'm tired of all being a game with you," he said, suddenly angry. "And you just don't understand!" Ethan was exasperated. If his tone of voice didn't clue you in to that, then the flailing of his hands surely had to. But how to make her understand without actually having to spell it out?

Of course.

And without another word, Ethan closed the distance between them and kissed her. But this was no short, soft kiss like the one he'd given her earlier. If at all, it would have to be one that made her understand once and for all, that this was beyond toying matter now. His lips pressed angrily against hers and his arms, out of their own volition, had circled her waist. Even if he said to himself that he didn't care for her reaction, he was watching closely for it. And even if it wasn't positive, the cards would be laid out on the table, his move finally out in the open.

[Indigo Grace]

Indi, as well, could hardly remember the first time that they had met. She did however, know that he wished she'd bugger off at first. Indigo Grace took that as a challenge, which she so often did. He was dating some other girl at the time if she remembered right. His loathing was so much that he'd rather kiss a goat than her. In fact, she was pretty sure he told her that....but that didn't turn her away. Indigo couldn't figure out why she annoyed him so much, so she decided to get to the bottom of it. Well, it turned out that that was just a phase, and Ethan ended up liking her. They were friends for a long time before they got any more serious than that. He asked her out, and unlike the usual grudge she would have held at that point, she agreed. After that, it was still ok, there was not real akwardness. Slowly, they began to fight more often, like it was before they were friends. They always flip-flopped, and she found it the wierdest thing.

He took a step forward now and she watched every move he made, standing her ground. It was almost like a lion and a gazelle, except you couldn't tell which was which. An equal match, neither one of them was ever going to win. Of course, this wasn't a game, and there was no winning, really, there was only losing. He seemed to be frustrated with everything about her, and that was understandable. It means whatever I want it to mean. But then again, it could also mean however you interpret it. It doesn't matter. Wait...what? That really, didn't make any sense to her. Indi was once again aware that it was bedtime, and therefore she couldn't expect her brain to function quite as brilliantly as it usually did. "You always speak in riddles." She finally answered bluntly, thinking of no other way to answer that. "I'm interpreting that as, you aren't going to leave me alone, just because I asked you to. Is that right?" She stared at him, waiting for the answer so she could begin the scolding session.

"No idea of what?" Indigo asked another question, looking more clueless than ever. She knew the way she really felt about him, and not the emotions she justput on display, but the girl could never tell what Ethan was thinking. "You think everything is a game with me!" But wasn't that the impression she usually sent out to people? That she didn't take hearts seriously and everything was just there to pass the time. At least that's exactly what was seen by the people that actually confronted her about it. They always yelled out at her for being so insensitive. "But it's not. Life isn't a game, I know that. I mean, if it was, it would truely be the most depressing game ever evented." Because nothing about playing the game of life was easy, or even remotely fun in her eyes. Every time she had a bit of joy, there was a consequence for it. No, she didn't understand, she had no idea what he was trying to get through to her. For the first time, Indigo actually felt like a guy. (hehe). Watching him take sudden steps forward, her eyes caught every movement of it, but surprisingly, she didn't go all, on guard. Instead, she waited for Ethan to get to the other side of that short distance that laid like an ocean between them.

He caught her up in a kiss, and for a moment she stood there like a deer in the headlights, her arms down at her side stiffly. Indi couldn't remember how many kisses they'd actually shared that night, versus how many kisses she'd just imagined out of want. What she did know, is that she'd been spending a lot of time with Regulus, and that she was going to the ball with him. She also knew, that they were unofficially dating, and this right here, was usually considered cheating. Well, she didn't know the details of it, but close enough. Ethan's kiss was far different from any one she'd had in awhile, and she let herself get caught up, kissing him back with a passion she hadn't wanted to say outloud. Her arms went up around his neck as she held him tightly, warming up to him almost immediately. Kissing him just felt so right, for an obvious reason: she cared about him. Indi was too afraid to say that she loved him, when her motto had always been so 'anti-love.' The fact was she skeptical about its existance. But if that wasn't what she felt......what was it? Because Indigo cared about Regulus deeply, but she kept a nice tight wall up that she hadn't had when she first met Ethan, which is what got her into this situation in the first place. At that moment, she knew she was very possibly the most selfish person on the planet. And she also knew, that she also couldn't be without Ethan.

[ethan]

"Oh, and this is where, where the party is."

Smooth move, Cartier. And after this, what? his inner voice reprimanded in an annoyed tone. Apparently it wouldn't stop functioning even in important moments where you had to concentrate on feeling and not thinking. But it had been ingrained in him too deeply for him to just be able to switch it off completely. It was annoying at best and infuriating at worst, but he'd learned how to cope. The fact stood that his so-called inner voice had saved his skin countless times, so he was used to it, and somehow, accepted it. And as he felt Indigo's response, he almost didn't manage to contain his smile. It wasn't a smirk, and it wasn't smug. It was one of those genuine smiles, the ones you can only present when a feeling emerges from the bottom of your feet and spreads up your whole body in that extremely girly, but nonetheless true, tingle. It was one of those smiles. The kind you don't get too often because it's difficult to find a source for alll that...joy.

And as easy as that, his sudden anger had vanished. He always felt kind of bipolar around Indigo, one moment being civil to each other, and the next, ready to bite each other's head off. But this was bordering on a whole new level of insanity. Ethan switched moods in less than a few seconds this night, and once again, as he thought of that, he became aware of the time and the place they were in. Momentarily, his reason for being in the Forbidden Forest in the first place had all but evaporated from his mind, and now that he remembered, it was coming back with a shakening jolt. Good thing they had gotten past those awkward questions some hours ago, just before one of their arguments started up. As always, she had a good reason to be out of bed, but him? Merlin, he didn't even want to think about it. Focusing once again in the present, Ethan tugged Indigo closer to him, trying, for a moment, to pretend that after he stepped back he wouldn't be left with a huge pile of absolute crap. If he thought he'd been in a mess, after doing something so rash (like kissing Indigo out of the blue and making it last more than a few short seconds) he'd be left with disaster. But he wasn't contemplating that at the moment either. He wanted to concentrate in remembering that precise feeling of just being...comfortable with her. Comfortable. And it had taken an angry kiss to get there?

Pulling back slightly, he still didn't let go of Indigo, resting his chin on top of her head, his eyes closed, because, let's face it, if he opened them, reality would happily come crashing down on him. Rumors flew in Hogwarts, everyone knew that. Wasn't Rita Skeeter the evil, living proof of that? So of course Ethan knew that Indigo wasn't precisely what you would call an absolutely free witch. Word of mouth had it said that it had something to do with a bloke who was from another House; but it was difficult for him to picture Indigo with anyone. Perhaps it was his possessiveness and protectiveness kicking in, or maybe he was just jealous, but the fact remained that he couldn't visualize her. It was selfish and vain, and everything Ethan didn't like being, but still, that was how it was working.

If he managed to ignore that small fact just a tad bit longer, he'd be in a perfect place. His arms coming up to now wrap around her shoulders, Ethan gave Indigo a tight hug. "You have to know now. You have to know," he whispered, his lips moving lightly against her hair, like murmured and muffled confessions. "This is not a game anymore, Indigo. It shouldn't have been one ever. I don't care about anything, I don't give about anything. I just want you to understand how damnably serious I am about this. If you don't believe me, fine, I understand that, because, let's be honest, our relationship hasn't been daisies and pink skies, but listen to me telling you the truth: there's more to this." It was a rushed whisper, as if he was afraid of the words his mouth was pronouncing against his mind's advice. And in a way he was. Because he was out in the open, he was putting himself out there. After that, it wasn't about him anymore.

[Indigo Grace]

Oh bad. Badddd. What a horribly coniving, selfish little girl. Yeah......hm..oh well. Those were the thoughts running through her head at that percise moment; but any more insulting herself was completely pushed away, because she had better things to think about than yelling at herself. Cartier being the better thing. She often didn't care if she hurt or neglected other people, so this was a new-found experience for her. Another new found experience, was kissing an ex-boyfriend. That had always been a big fat NO in her book. Alas, that book needed to be re-written anyways, it was sorely outdated. She had new priorities this year. Being an angel wasn't one of them. If she were to do the right thing, or at least what she vaguely guessed was the right thing, she'd pull away right now and say she couldn't do it. Oh please, since when did she ever? Are you kidding? I'm not walking away from this. Meh, let her feel bad about it later......she knew she would, so no sense worrying now. She'd be after herself in a little while.


They had a new record for this year-the longest amount of time they'd spent together without bickering. Last year's of course and the years before it were much longer, but you had to admit they were trying harder than ever. So, all in all, it was an improvement. His kiss was other-worldy, and she'd conviently forgotten that over the summer. Indigo didn't want to remind herself over and over again what she was missing....that wouldn't have helped anything. But then again, maybe that would have just made her come to see him sooner. She should be freezing, since only a few minutes earlier....had it really been only that long? It seemed like ages ago that she was fighting with Ethan. But anyway, only a few minutes earlier she'd thrown his coat back at him defiantly, and told him she wouldn't be needing it. Indigo remembered how she found it funny that she made him feel uncomfortable....Ha, she still did. Still, she wasn't cold, probably due to the situation they were in, and he was so close to her, he blocked any cold air that could have seeped through.


His chin on her head was something that Indigo loved, and she was glad he hadn't pulled away entirely. Thousands of emotions were running through her mind, so fast that the girl barely had time to keep up. Indi had never wanted to feel so much for one single person, but, try as she might for her sixteen years of living, she could see now that it had been in vain. She still couldn't see herself as even coming close to loveable, but Ethan had put up with a lot, and I mean a lot, over the years, and he was still here with her, wanting no one else. Indi simply didn't get it. WHY did people want to be around her? What was the deal? Were they hallucinating? Such train of thoughts were always in her mind, refreshing themselves every time someone showed an ounce of compassion or devotion to her. "I missed you running your hands through my hair" She said quietly, laughing just a little, slightly pitiful. Someone as a third party would be wondering why on earth she'd say something like that, but she understand exactly why. It was the little things about him that she missed.

hat was something he always did, and it was something that should only belong to him. Her mother used to do that with her, and it used to freak her out and bring back memories, but now it was comforting when Ethan did it. you have to know now. She hoped so, but Indigo didn't want him to say it, she just wanted them to both feel it. She was worried if he said a special little word, she'd lose her composure and back out. "I never meant it to be a game, it just always turned out that way." She hugged him back, tighter than prehaps she ever had before, so fierce because she hadn't been able to do it for so long. "I don't want you to go away again, and stop talking to me for days upon days. It's part of what makes me so miserable all the time...I really don't want to be miserable anymore." Their relationship was always, Always, rocky. There was a rare period when they seemed in sync, but they had their fall outs. It was time for all of that to end. You couldn't care about someone this much, but still intentionally hurt them all the time, could you? "I really don't care if it's hard, I just don't want you to go away." Go, stay, go, stay. How many times was she going to say that tonight? But this time, she really meant it.

[ethan]

"Are you coming home?"

And there she was, saying things that sounded so damn right and Ethan was swallowing it all. It was almost as if he didn't realize the things that were happening, or where they were, or what she was saying. Yes, the words were registering, but the full weight of their meaning wasn't settling in yet. He was still in that hazy place that's somewhere between foolishness and joy. "I missed you, period," he responded easily at her comment about his hands on her hair. It was a habit of his, though he had never done it to any other girl he had dated. With Vonna, their relationship had been something rather unexplainable, with no heads or tails. And even though it had been far from bad or wrong, it had never been like...well, like Indigo. There was no point of comparison, because feelings should never be compared. Nor relationships, in that line of thinking. It seemed long ago, and he was mildly surprised to find that it had managed to last that long. What "it" was was another thing altogether. He refused to label it, because hell no, what good could it come out of it? There was no rush. There was time. There was always time.

When she pulled him tight, Ethan smiled a half-smile, his eyes closing of their own volition, his cheek resting against the top of her head. Seriously, he didn't care about how it looked, about the expression on his face or anything. Hex him, he'd let his guard down for once in a really long time, and he was in his right to enjoy it fully. After all, what was life without having your own moments of reprieve?

"Don't say that if you don't mean it." His voice was low, nothing more than a gravelly murmur, but it had to be said. Ethan didn't want Indigo to rush into things simply because of a 'moment' and didn't have the chance to think things thoroughly. Come morning, he wanted her to be sure of whatever they were agreeing to. Sure, they were accepting something, but after that? And why was he worrying about stuff like that? Weren't girls the ones who were supposed to be thinking about that kind of stuff? Since when did he care?

All he did was ask questions. And he was growing tired of that. Perhaps, just for once, he'd get answers if he simply waited. No matter how chock full his mind was, it didn't matter. Wasn't patience supposed to be a virtue? Yeah, it was. It was. So, whispering in her ear, he said words that even though he didn't want to say, had to be said. "Indigo, are you sure?"

[Indigo Grace]

I missed you, period. He said it in a much less round-about way than Indigo had, but it was the same thing in the end. She was more than surprised about everything. About how Ethan, for once, was coming straight out with it, and she was as well. Indi was usually the person who said once relationships were over, they were over. Dead, buried, time to move on. That was because she never expected anything to come from any of them. And here she was, and she actually couldn't avoid Ethan, and she didn't want to. Part of Indi thought that was insane, and she should slap herself or something to come to her senses; but the other part, the part that never got a chance to say anything, could care less what came out of her mouth as long as it was the truth. Indi had her little summer fling over the summer, obviously, but it hadn't meant anything. When the guy told her they should keep in touch, she made up some lame excuse so she'd never have to bother. No strings attached.

Don't say that if you don't mean it. Oh no, that wasn't possible. Everything she said, she meant. So even if that increasingly obnoxious part of her by the minute, told her to shut up, she wasn't going to listen. She was done listening. "I've never said anything I didn't mean in my entire life." She was warm, warmer than she should have been in shorts and a tank top, in the middle of the forbidden forest, at night. But not just warm in that way, she felt good. If Indigo couldn't stand being apart from Ethan while they were fighting, it was some kind of torture when they were getting along. She stood up on her toes, considering she was short, and gave him a kiss on the crook of his neck. Indigo, are you sure? A question she'd been asked so many numerous times, she could never count. Was she sure? Maybe she wasn't. She bit her lip and stared at the ground, ears picking up the soft hooting of her owl that was perched on a low branch, in a nearby tree.

Being sure was more than just knowing what you wanted, it was so much more. It was knowing that you would do whatever it took to get there, even if it was hard. And ugh, her father always got so mad when she dated Gryffindors. She got almost completely exiled by her family last time she was with Ethan. But was it really anything different than normal? Whether she was on good terms with him or not, she still wasn't a part of that family. Indigo didn't even want to be. The next person who came to her mind was Regulus. Indi had definitely let her guard down this year, getting all girlish and emotional. Ew, it was enough to make her want to vomit. Yet she couldn't stop thinking about him, and how he was going to feel. That was, if he felt the way she did. Oh god, she had certainly changed since last year. Now she was actually caring about people she hurt. Of course, she liked Regulus the moment she laid eyes on him, and heaven knows they got along better than her and Ethan.

But maybe it was too easy. In the end, she did know what she was going to decide. Indi had this haunting feeling that Regulus was going to end up exactly like his cousins, even though he was so different now. Everything she was seeing lately, had to do with this dark lord. Who, even though she didn't know him, she already hated. With a passion. Being forced to watch his future plans like she was watching some horror show on television wasn't pleasant. The worst part about it,w as Regulus was going to change. Unless by some miracle, something drastic happened to him, and his future turned out differently. She hoped that was so, but it was really a fool's hope. Indigo had seen a relationship like that before, where a couple had entirely different views on the world. Her parents had the same thing, and it was disasterous. Indi didn't like taking chances, she usually played it safe. And being with Ethan, no matter the consequence, was more important to her than anything. Heh, imagine that. "I'm sure. I'm sure this is what I want, even though it's selfish."

[ethan]

"Are you coming home?"

It wasn’t easy to assimilate. They weren’t biting each other’s heads off and they weren’t even trading barbs. Except there was this tranquil silence instead of the usual chatter, and this close embrace when there used to be as much space to avoid physical contact. Yes, contradictory indeed. But where was the fun in predictable? It wasn’t anything but routine, and well, Ethan had never been one to support monotony in any way. Therefore, Indigo really was one of his best options, wasn’t she? And if he was being absolutely sincere, she was his only option. Because, as unoriginal as it could sound by saying it, he really didn’t want any other options. And if they were, he was ignoring them completely, because man, who could compare to this crazy witch?

That’s right.

Nobody.

Smiling, Ethan brought his hands to cup her face and tilted her chin up slightly, trying to maintain her gaze this time without having to worry about what his own eyes would give away. Ethan was one of those wizards who believed that you could learn everything by looking into one’s eyes, and as a consequence, his blue eyes were always crystalline, transparent. He didn’t like secrets or lies. That was a commonly known fact about him, and even though he still had a couple of them hidden within, they all seemed so inconsequential and insignificant at the moment. Who would care about those now, anyway? And it wasn’t as if anyone would ever find out about them…about her, more specifically. But everything was left in the past. And when you walked right past, into your future, you weren’t supposed to look over your shoulder. You weren’t supposed to drag things with you into this thing everyone called a ‘tomorrow’.

Closing his eyes, he took a moment to assume the reality of it all. And when her owl hooted, it was the beginning all over again. He laughed sincerely, his chuckles coming from deep inside his chest as he pulled Indigo close to him and lifted her slightly in a bear hug. ”There goes reality,” he commented as he spun them both around, careless of the place, the time and the noise. Who would hear them, here in the middle of the Forbidden Forest? Doubtful anyone would even have the courage to investigate.

Placing her again on her feet, Ethan smiled crookedly, his amusement still present. ”I don’t know what the hell just happened,” he said bluntly. ”But I like it. When we’re not at each other’s throats,” he admitted, leaning in close to her, resting his forehead against hers. ”We’re pretty damn good together,” he finished, whispering as he placed a kiss on her forehead and stepped back, the smile still not dying from his lips. Yes, he was trying to push those nagging rumors of her dating someone else to the back of his mind. Redundantly, he wasn’t in the mood to ruin the first good mood he’d been in for quite a while. So the rumors could wait. They would have to wait.

”Ready to be escorted back to Gryffindor tower, witch?” he asked good-naturedly, his eyes glinting with suppressed amusement. He extended his arm to her in a chivalrous gesture, waiting anxiously for her response.

[Indigo Grace]

Indigo had to look up at his face when he tilted her chin; she couldn't look down or off to the side or up at the sky anymore, she had to just look at him. And that was fine, more than fine, because that's all that she wanted to do. She just wanted to look at his clear blue eyes, that were so different from her own, cloudy brown ones. Some people find it ridiculous that Indi adored every feature about him, but she couldn't see how anyone could not adore it. Even when he was insulting or more like picking at her, as he often did, she'd find herself in her subconscious admiring something like his voice or tone. They weren't attacking each other for once, and that felt right. Indigo half the time thought about how silly she was being when she stared at him when he wasn't looking. She usually wouldn't condone that schoolgirl kind of behavior, but she couldn't help it in this case. It was a bit like air. You couldn't live without air, no matter how you tried to go about it, it was a simple fact that you cannot. It was the same for Indigo and the way she was about Ethan. She could survive yes, but that wasn't really the same as living, now was it? That sort of need drove her crazy, because being attached to someone in that way scared her, especially when she was almost sure they didn't feel the same way.

That's what made her keep forgetting about Regulus, because she'd never given him that chance. She didn't give him the chance to become that much to her, because she didn't want to have to deal with another emotion for yet another person. It wasn't fair, but it's what it was. Indigo was in this turmoil, where she was fighting against everything she had ever believed in. Love was not real, she had Always thought that since she was a young girl. Now she felt that she was wrong, she had been all wrong. It was horrible, being wrong for that long of a time, over something that meant so much. She was beginning to think she was in love with Ethan, that's the way people always described it. Yet she wasn't so giddy and dramatic, which was the way she liked it. People who behaved like that when they were in love were downright obnoxious. She wasn't about to cross That line. If that was the case, she was in love with Regulus too. Gah, but how could you possibly be in love with two people at the same time? It's evil, that's what it is. They got the love is real part dead on, but they forgot to mention how discusting and painful it was. Evil. She smiled as Ethan picked her up off her feet and swung them around, tearing the other thoughts away from her mind. Marlene was right, as always. Uh, really, would Indigo ever get to be right, I mean, just once? That's really all that she was asking, for a little peace of mind.

As he set her down, she hugged him almost randomly. For a long time personal space had been the key, now she was living it up for what she could get. "If only I didn't have to face reality so soon." She typically avoided things, but not like breaking up with a guy. Which is what she had to do, Indi didn't two-time people. She was always very straight and actually cruely formal when she broke-up with someone, because it had never meant anything. She didn't care, and they could both go their seperate ways, and clean cut. Indi cared what Regulus thought, and cared about him. This was much more than she wanted to deal with. "I know, it's strangely peaceful. On top of that, we don't have to rack our brains trying to think up a witty reply. Imagine that." We're pretty damn good together. "If we can keep from fighting" She pointed out softly. They both had prides, they both liked being right, that's what made it so difficult when they disagreed on something. "Ha" she held out her arm to him. "Yes I am good sir." Indigo winked and then paused for a moment, before sighing. There was no round-about way to say it. "Can I have your coat back....I'm cold."