Shame.less

[britkneeboo]

You wanna swim in the river.
I wanna dance in the summer.

Mafalda was more excited than usual. She stood on the rocky edge of the lake and couldn't help the smile that was on her face. Normally she thought dances were stupid, but this was the first year everything seemed to be falling into place for her. Other than a date, that was. While having a date to the ball was usually first on a girls list, it was last on her's, especially since she didn't think she'd have any trouble finding one last minute anyway. She knew she had enough guy friends that at least one of them would take her if she was left without a partner by the night of the dance. She didn't even take into consideration that they might all be spoken for already.

Reaching up to the right side of her head Mafalda ran her fingertips lightly over a silver clasp that was in her hair. She had just gotten back from getting her hair done in Hogsmeade. She had gone through nearly ten different styles before she finally settled on the one she was wearing. It wasn't anything too fancy. She liked it looking natural and down, flowing across her shoulders, and pinned in one little spot to keep most of her hair to the right side. She couldn't wait to get back to her dorm room and try on her dress to see how it looked together, but first she wanted to stop and relax by the lake. She had been getting her hair tampered with for nearly four hours and the sun was just about to set over the water.

Mafalda's dress was definitely lacking in the ruffles and frills. It was slimming and silver, and looked like it might belong on a Slytherin before a Hufflepuff. Weren't Hufflepuffs supposed to wear ugly dresses, with bows up to the neck and lace poking out from awkward places? She was lucky enough to have a mother that could sew. Even if her mother couldn't create a dress from scratch, she was very skilled in taking one that was already made and reconstructing it. The dress that was waiting for Mafalda up in her room was about 6 sizes smaller than it had originally been, once had large puffy sleeves, and once went straight down without any layers in the bottom. Her mother had worked wonders on it and it now fit her like a glove.

"I hope there isn't mistletoe," she said, leaning down to pick up a rock. Her hair cascaded down into her face, but when she stood it fell right back in to place as she skipped the rock across the water.

[ludo]

Ludovic Bagman made his way down to the lake with perhaps just a bit more swagger in his step than usual...which was saying quite a bit as Ludo was almost known for his swagger. But a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he finally found himself a date to the Yule Ball, and hopefully a steady girlfriend. Of course Ludo never doubted he would find someone, it just felt nice to finally have it settled. who was the lucky girl? None other than Slytherin's own Ravenna Myriad. A bit shocking yes, but nothing wrong with a change from his usual 'type'

Ludo had considered asking Mafalda, but it didn't feel right, especially since he felt the way he did. He didn't want to make things awkward for them. He would much rather go with Ravenna a girl who he liked and seemed to like him back. She was a Slytherin, kind of odd, and two years younger than him, but still it felt like a pretty good match. Ravenna and Ludo may not look like they'd have a whole lot in common, but as all good Ravenclaws know, you can't judge the content of a book by simply looking at it's cover.

It was actually at the the lake, just the other day when Ludo had asked Ravenna to accompany him. That fact actually made it a bit ironic as he spotted the lanky blond form of the girl he had nearly resorted to asking. "What's wrong with mistletoe?" Ludo smiled coming up behind Mafalda not quite fully hearing her sentiments clearly. "I love the stuff, personally. I'm all for a little plant that allows you to kiss a girl without having to worry about getting slapped," Ludo smiled bending down to pick up a stone and toss it out into the waters as he spoke.

[britkneeboo]

You've always been the believer.
I'm always left to wonder.

The sound of her rock skipping across the water had blocked the sound of the approaching Ravenclaw boy, but Mafalda didn't jump when she heard his voice. She was usually easily frightened when somebody snuck up on her, but she was in such a good mood that she had actually just been hoping to get to talk to somebody. And, who better than Ludovic Bagman to test out her choice of hair on. The test was simple. If he noticed her hair within the first ten minutes, it was sure to attract the attention of many boys at the ball. If he noticed within the first twenty minutes, then he probably liked it he just didn't want to overact. And lastly, if he didn't notice at all she was going to have to get a new hairstyle for the ball, because obviously it was too plain. She was rather hoping for the first reaction, but the second would suffice too.

Mafalda smiled, trying not to roll her eyes at the very first thing he said to her. "I'm sure any girl trapped under the mistletoe with you would find herself suddenly really loving the little plant as well," she said, watching as his rock skipped out on the lake. It made its way significantly further than hers had. She picked up another rock, this time making sure it was flatter than the previous one, and tried again. She laughed as the rock came a couple inches short of his still. Obviously she needed to work on her skills - she hadn't beaten enough bludgers around, yet.

"I hope there isn't any mistletoe, because I wouldn't want any girls hurt by the fact that they didn't get the chance to trick you into standing under it with them. And, because I'm allergic to mistletoe," she said, adding the last part on really quickly, like it was no big deal.

[ludo]

Ludo shrugged and gave an innocent smile. It was true and he wasn't about to deny it, but he was feeling modest enough not to gloat about it either. A bit odd coming from a boy who was known for his arrogance (and talent to back it up) but why bother confirming what they both already knew? Ludo gave a short laugh as Mafalda's rock dipped below the surface short of his. Ludo had been skipping rocks on this lake since first year, so he was pretty good at it.

"Allergic to mistletoe? Is that even allowed under the laws of Christmas?" Ludo said faking astonishment. No such laws existed and he knew from experience that a person could be allergic to nearly anything. Still it seemed wrong to be allergic to such a glorious plant. "You know I hate to disappoint my adoring female public, but I don't think Ravenna would like me kissing too many other girls, regardless of whatever shrubbery is over head," Ludo smiled dropping the hint, but not coming right out with it.

"Did you do something with your hair?" Ludo asked taking a good look at Mafalda now. He had thought he noticed a difference as he approached her, but it had been hard to tell from the back, especially with his being a guy and all. But now Ludo could clearly see something was different. "Looks nice," he added deciding he was correct and answering the question that would be sure to follow. Over the years Ludo had gotten good at recognizing hairstyle changes it girls, they were usually quite thrilled when someone noticed, especially when it was him...of course all this hair talk could be just a minor distraction from the previous subject.

[britkneeboo]

The water is rushing so fast.
I think it will take us under.

Hearing Ludo's short little laugh, Mafalda made a mock pouty face. She wasn't really bothered by it, and actually thought it was kind of funny too, but she always had a good time teasing Ludovic. Her pouty face only grew more pouty when he faked astonishment at her being allergic to mistletoe. When she was younger it actually did bother her, because a lot of the little kids that lived near her thought she was lying. A lot of people didn't even know you could be allergic to mistletoe, but Mafalda was. Any part of her skin that the little plant came in contact with would turn bright red, go itchy, and sometimes little bumps would start popping up on her skin. It was something she really liked to avoid, and so it was safe to say Mafalda had never been kissed under a mistletoe. She sort of wished she could. It was supposed to be a romantic way to kiss somebody, but she was always worried that something would happen, even if kissing didn't require she touch the plant.

Mafalda was just about to defend her mistletoe allergy when she registered what Ludo said next. She wasn't sure of the name at first, but thinking about it for only a few seconds brought the face of a girl to her mind. She just smiled, deciding to not say anything about it. Obviously it was another girl that liked him and he was just making a point to state it. He often dropped names when he had a new girl to torment with his charm and good looks. It was easy to dismiss when he brought up her hair. What had it been, maybe eight minutes? That was great!

"Oh, yea!" she said, twirling around so that he could see her hair entirely. It had a charm on it so that it didn't tangle or get messy even when she moved around. The only way to break the charm was to get her hair wet, like in the shower. "I'm glad somebody noticed. You are the first person I've seen since it was done though," she said, making a point to let him know she wasn't flattered that it was him that had noticed, but anybody. She didn't want it going to his head. "It's for the ball. I'm sort of testing it out first to see if it works."

The entire time Mafalda was talking about her hair the name Ravenna was playing in the back of her head. She normally would have forgotten it already, but this time she was rather curious as to why she had been mentioned. "Umm, why would Ravenna care if you were kissing other girls? - Wait...actually why would you care if Ravenna cared if you were kissing other girls?"

[ludo]

Ludo picked up another rock and looked it over. It was no good for skipping, but he chucked it out onto the lake where it sunk down to the black water with a thump, creating a ripple a effect that echoed all the way back to the shoreline. At least Mafalda seemed glad he had noticed her hair. It was usually a safe bet to ask a girl if she'd done something to he hair...even if the difference wasn't very obvious. It was one of those situations where the pros greatly out weighed the cons.

Ludo was oddly analytical for someone as flirtatious as he was. There was a method to it all...he could never really decide if that made him a genius or just really weird. He basically used his intelligence and applied it to flirting, weighing the probabilities to make sure he made choices with a high success rate. It was almost like a game. He was gambling every time he flirted making these conscious choices and hoping they would pay out. And just like with most bets and most things in life the more risk there was in a certain move the higher the pay out if things ended up working out.

Asking Ravenna to the ball had been a safe bet, and as always Ludo had made sure he all but knew she would accept before actually asking. Some would say that takes the fun out of it, but for Ludo getting to that point was the fun, picking up on the subtle and not so subtle hints girls would drop if they were interested. Asking Mafalda would have been a much bigger risk, but the payout would have been that he may finally get a chance with her. Ludo just hadn't been willing to bet their friendship on that chance.

Mafalda's questioning though made him wonder if his chances with Mafalda were better than he had first calculated. Of course it was more likely that she just knew him well enough to know that having a date hadn't stopped him from kissing other girls in the past. "Well because I'm thinking that perhaps Ravenna and I could continue to see each other after the Ball," Ludo said a little unsure of what other reason there could have possibly been. Then he couldn't help but adding, "Not jealous are you, Mafalda?" he smirked as he skipped another rock over the lake, breaking the calm that had settled onto the still water.

[britkneeboo]

You trust too much in my bravery.
It's my safety you're taking.

The risk of asking Mafalda to the Yule ball any of the previous years, would have been a big one. She probably would have agreed to go, but she would have stressed to Ludovic that they were attending 'as friends' to the point that it'd probably make him sick and take all the fun out of the dance. Actually, Mafalda and Ludo had never had the privilege of attending a dance with each other. They usually asked or were asked by other people and never really associated with each other for the entire night. It was like they somehow knew that conversation would be awkward and strained, so they just waited until the next day to talk to each other about how their time was. She hadn't ever really tried to come up with a good reason for why they did it, probably because she didn't want to admit that it was how they protected themselves from some weird form of jealousy. This year was different though. She had expected him to ask her, or at least make it obvious that he would want to go with her. It was amazing that she didn't know better. Just because her reasoning had changed, didn't mean his had.

Well because I'm thinking that perhaps Ravenna and I could continue to see each other after the Ball.

There it was. The response that she had halfway expected, but was still surprised to hear. It sunk in hard, but she still had trouble making sense of it. It was like all of her logic had flown out the window as soon as he spoke. Continue to see each other? she thought, biting her bottom lip. She hadn't realized they were ever seeing each other to begin with. She had seen them talking before, but assumed they were friend, much like most girls assumed with Ludo and herself. That must have been her mistake, assumption. She now realized how stupid it was to ever think Ludo was 'just friends' with a girl, well at least other than herself. He was making that painfully clear. She was having an extreme amount of trouble picturing Ludo and Ravenna together. It didn't look right. It was like somebody had cut out two separate pictures of them and taped them together, trying to force something that didn't really fit.

Not jealous are you, Mafalda?

"What?" she asked, dumbly. She had heard exactly what he had said. There was no trouble understanding it, but the question that escaped her lips had done just that, escaped. "No, of course not. I'm not. I'm not jealous at all. Thats dumb. I don't...do I sound jealous? I'm not." Smooooooth... she thought, quickly picking up another rock, but not skipping it. She just stood there, even more dumbly, and squeezed the rock tight like a worry stone. She wanted to tell him she was tired and leave, quickly, but it was nowhere near late enough to be going to bed. All she could do was stand there, rock in hand, biting her lip, hoping he didn't figure her out. It was slightly possible that he wouldn't, considering this was the most Mafalda had let any feelings for him show. Maybe he would confuse it for something else. That would be nice.

[ludo]

Ludo had not gotten the reaction he had been expecting. He expected Mafalda to come up with something snappy, a witty remark that would allow Ludo to then fire back with something and they would laugh and take sarcastic shots at each other like always, but Mafalda had stumbled over and unnecessarily long denial. The what made sense, as even though Ludo was sure she'd heard, his announcing plans for a relationship with anyone could seem a bit odd, but then all she need say was no.

Ludo's instinct's told him what it meant, but his brain was still reeling in search of alternate explanations. Could he chalk this up to mere surprise and a rapid explanation to reinforce that they were just friends? It seemed improbable, but Ludo figured it would be best to proceed with caution anyway. "Well, to be honest Mafalda...you do sound pretty jealous," Ludo said once again caught between trying to laugh off the thought and being dead serious with his opinion.

Maybe she was just jealous that Ravenna would pull attention away from her. It seemed a bit selfish, but Ludo couldn't say he would blame her. If that was it though, how come she never acted this way before? Was there a history between her and Ravenna? Or was it simply jealousy? It was still the most logical explanation, but it still left Ludo wondering, why now?

[britkneeboo]

And now I'm here, my best friend dying;
And I'm the one that's still lying.

In all fairness, Mafalda hadn't gotten what she had been expecting either. She expected him to tell her that the reason that Ravenna might not like him kissing another girl was because she had a huge crush on him, and it would simply hurt her to witness such an act from the boy who had stolen her affection. It was a rather unrealistic reason for her to care if he kissed somebody, if they weren't dating, because it just didn't seem like the Slytherin girl to act in such a way - but they were obviously dating or they were planning on it. Mafalda still would have preferred that reason to the real one.

Standing there, she squeezed the rock in her hand tighter, hoping to maybe transfer all of her frustration into it. All of the emotions that went through this girls head were enough to drive a person crazy. Currently Ludo had managed to make her go from excited, to hopeful, to confused, to angry. It wasn't fair, but it wasn't his fault either. What was his fault though, was not telling Mafalda that he was interested in a girl, not mentioning Ravenna ever, not telling her that he had a date, and not caring enough to ask if she had one as well. Weren't best friends supposed to talk about these things? It seemed like the past couple of months had been strained between them. They weren't drifting apart, but there was something between them and it was keeping them from getting to each other. They needed to figure out what the problem was and fix it fast, before their friendship completely died. Mafalda felt like he was slipping away. It hurt her that Ludovic obviously didn't value their friendship as much as she did - at least, that's what she thought.

Well, to be honest Mafalda...you do sound pretty jealous.

Ouch. He had come right out and said it. It didn't matter that she had asked him in a messed up effort to play it cool, or that one thing about their friendship she loved was how he was so honest with her. Nope, those things didn't matter in the least. All she could think was... Ouch.

How did he expect her to respond to his question? You bloody idiot! I'm mad! We've known each other for two years, through a dozen dances, and you've never asked me even once! We can't even go as friends because of all the stupid girls in your life! What about me? Am I the only girl that you manage to overlook? Why? She wanted to tell him what she had just thought, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. The only way to get out of this mess was to do what Ludo usually did to her. Lie about her feelings.

"I'm not jealous that you are going with Ravenna, Ludo. I'm upset that you got a date before me," she said, taking a deep breath of air and dropping the rock she was squeezing back on the ground. "I'm so much better looking than you, yet I'm the single one." Mafalda smiled, to show she was pretending teasing. Good job. Play it off. Make a joke. He'll never know. Too bad the tension was still so thick you could cut it with a knife.

[ludo]

So, now she was trying to play it off? Ludo had two choices: call her bluff and face what was really upsetting her, or play along with the joke. It was obvious, what he wanted to pick. Calling Mafalda out would most likely lead to the revelation that she had feelings that mirrored his own, but that could also lead to considerable complications. Going along with the joke however, had no complications, but also no potential payoff. It was the safest option and Ludo knew he never really had much of a choice.

"You might be more attractive, but not nearly as athletic...or popular as I am, so you see I win two out of three. Hence why I have a date and you don't. Plus I also have the advantage of being a guy, so it makes more sense for me to go out and ask someone, rather than wait around for someone to ask," Ludo smirked, rather proud of his logic. "...so you really don't have a date yet?" Ludo asked, softening his tone. He wasn't sure why, but he assumed Mafalda had a date already. In any case asking her had been out of the question. She would have wanted to go just as friends.

That was all Mafalda ever wanted was to just be friends...which was a very difficult concept for Ludo to grasp, especially if he hadn't dated the girl before. But it had simply been to long now. He was officially in 'the friend zone' and he was never getting out. That's why he asked Ravenna. He didn't want to go to the ball with anyone as friends. He wanted a true to life date and after the ball he needed a girlfriend, not just a friend who was a girl.

[britkneeboo]

Never let your loved ones know who you really are.
People want the truth but never want the scars.

You might be more attractive, but not nearly as athletic...or popular as I am, so you see I win two out of three. Hence why I have a date and you don't. Plus I also have the advantage of being a guy, so it makes more sense for me to go out and ask someone, rather than wait around for someone to ask.

Good. So, he hadn't figured her out yet. It was also possible that he was just playing along with her, but she didn't think that. She relaxed, assuming she was in the clear with him, and decided not to push the Ravenna issue any further for fear of making Ludo upset with her. She really didn't need a reason to stop talking to him. They were best friends, and even if she was starting to feel the beginning of new things around him, it might best if she tried to push the feelings away and accept their relationship for what it had always been. They were better off that way.

...so you really don't have a date yet?

Mafalda shook her head, shrugging. "Nope, not yet. I had originally thought it was because the boys were all to scared of rejection to ask me, but you have shown me the truth. I accept the fact that it is my lack of athleticism, popularity, and gender role not allowing me the ability to ask another person to go with me." Mafalda let out an overly dramatic sigh, lifting her hand to rest pathetically on her forehead. "Woe is me. Whatever will I do?" Mafalda dropped her hand back to her side and smiled.

Around Ludovic, Mafalda had the tendency to let her goofy side show. She wasn't nearly as uptight or modest when he was around. Their status as best buds allowed her the freedom to express herself truly around him, in ways that nobody else really saw her. It was especially easy because Ludo accepted her for who she was, even with her dorky attitude, sarcasm, and inability to stand on her own two feet. She was much happier not having to impress him, like she had felt she needed to do lately. Liking him as more than a friend was taking its toll on her. She had no idea what it was doing to him. "I do hope you have fun at the dance with her, Lulu," she said, putting on a sincere smile. "I want to know all about it. We'll meet up morning after to talk about the annual Yule Ball drama? Like usual?"

[ludo]

"Haha, don't worry love, there's always the third years," Ludo beamed with mock optimism. They had slid seamlessly back into the 'friend zone' when they clearly could have over stepped the boundaries and just hashed out there feelings...but this wasn't the time or place fore that. In fact Ludo doubted such a time or place even existed. They were friends and destined to stay friends. The sooned Ludo could come to term with that simple fact the better.

"Thank you," Ludo nodded genuinely glad that his best friend now seemed to approve of his date choice. "And good luck with finding a date," he added softly. He really hadn't known Mafalda would still be flying solo, and part of him wished he could ask her, but he had a beautiful girl who he already made that promise to. One that was fine with being more than just friends with the future quidditch star.

"Oh, of course," Ludo smiled. "I daresay it just wouldn't be a Yule Ball without getting together to gossip about it afterwards," he added. It was their tradition: avoid each other the entire not other than a polite oh hey this is my date, have a nice evening...and even that had only occurred when their individual dates bumped into each other near the punch bowl. Anyway, after the night of forgetting each others existence they would jump right back onto the best friend express and talk about everything that happened. It was like the both went to watch the same movie, but in separate theaters and then once the movie was over quickly got together to discuss the plot and favorite moments ect.

[britkneeboo]

We're gonna drown in the river.
I cannot swim any farther.

Haha, don't worry love, there's always the third years.

Make fun of me, brat. A fifth year isn't much better, she thought, putting on a cheesy smile to let him know she didn't think he was that funny. It wasn't obvious to her yet that she would also be taking a fifth year to the ball. The fifth years seemed to be last resort dates to the Yule Ball this year, chosen by seventh years who didn't have the courage to ask the person they truly wanted to go with.

Thank you, and good luck with finding a date.

She highly doubted he cared that much if she found a date, especially since he had already secured one. As far as she knew, it would just give him more of a reason to tease and mock her, probably deciding to rub it in the day after the ball because he had noticed her wandering around the Great Hall alone. Oh no, that wasn't going to happen. If Mafalda couldn't find a date she wouldn't show up at the dance. 'Flying solo,' wasn't her style. She would rather sneak off to Hogsmeade and have some real fun anyway.

Oh, of course. I daresay it just wouldn't be a Yule Ball without getting together to gossip about it afterward.

"Oh goodie," she said, half expecting him to tell her he couldn't make it, and blow off their meet-up for the first time since they had gone to a Yule Ball while knowing each other. If he skipped out on that, she would officially have to stop calling him a friend. You didn't break with tradition; that was a no-no. "The usual spot, after breakfast," she said, reminding him of something he really didn't need to be reminded of. Any time they wanted to meet it was always in the same place - middle of the quidditch pitch. They both enjoyed it there so much because it was like having their own private stadium to use however they needed, without anybody knowing they were ever there. Anytime they wrote each other a note or mentioned meeting up, they never said where because they already knew. It was one of the many perks of having a best friend. "I should go," she said, reaching up and ruffling his hair just a little bit. It was the first time in a long time they hadn't made any sort of physical contact. It felt weird, because they usually always found some sort of excuse to trip into each other, bump, or hug. This time the invisible barrier between them had prevented it, but she couldn't leave until she changed it.

"See ya, Lulu." Giving him a little wave and smile, she left him standing there and headed back to the castle.

[ludo]

Something wasn't sitting right. This entire conversation had been filled with this tension and it was beginning to get uncomfortable. Ludo had thought joking would fix the problem, and at first it seemed it had, but Mafalda wasn't laughing and had no comeback which meant something he said bothered her. Of course she was having trouble finding a date and he was jabbing her kinda hard for that. But that was what they did wasn't it?

It was times like this that Ludo had to wonder why he insisted on being best friends with a girl, they were so difficult...Of course the irony was that that was the reason. Having female friends made it easier to know how to handle his girlfriends...and other than Mafalda the female friends he had were ex-girlfriends. It was all about observation learning, but still it would have been much easier to just hang out with guys, if there was ever a conflict with a guy friend they would go at it for a bit, realize they were being dumb and that would be the end of it. But girls just refused to tell you there was a problem, so you just needed find away to fix a problem that according to the person involved didn't even exist...

Finally they'd settled into more comfortable conversation and Ludo could trick his mind into thinking things were ok, at least until Mafalda parted from him. He smiled at her as she left, gave a short wave, but said nothing. He stayed at the lake exploring his thoughts for a bit wondering what he would do, if things would be awkward the morning after the Yule Ball...maybe he should just tell her. Ludo shook the crazy thought and headed back up to the school in the direction of the library, he needed sanity and sense...potions ought to do the trick.