A Burden of Butterflies (Regulus)

[bella]

OOC: I figured they could meet there, although I guess the thread will have to stay here as there's really no place to put it. Hogwart's Hospital Wing didn't really seem to work.


When Bella woke up that morning, her stomach was in knots. Today could easily be swung two ways, one ending fairly alright, the other probably not so good. It was all she could do to actually get out of bed, wanting nothing more then to crawl back under her covers and stay well out of sight. She didn’t bother pulling her robes on, settling for a pair of flared jeans and an old pink t-shirt of hers. After donning on her jacket and pulling her shoes on, she grabbed the backpack she’s packed the night previous and left her dormitory, silently thanking God that everyone else remained sleeping. She was never good with goodbyes and didn’t want to have to tell people where she was going. Bella had confined in few of friends that she was headed to St. Mungos for the weekend and they’d promised to cover for her. It had been harder with them then asking the headmaster for leave. Ms. Drivels had her ways, having been an old professor for Hogwarts.

Bella made her way down the stairs, finally giving pause to her companions for the journey – her old family friend Ms. Drivel and a Slytherin boy she’d only met a few days ago. She’d already covered everything with him, although the meeting had been short. They hadn’t said anything about it aloud, but their seemed to be a silent agreement that they couldn’t be friends publicly. She didn’t mind it so much, although at times it certainly was awkward, disbanding when any Housemates came to close. She lost herself with her thoughts, unaware that she’d made it to the Entrance Hall until that familiar voice called her.

“Isabella dear, it’s so good to see you!” She disliked being called by her full name, but had no time for corrections as she was thrown into a hug and blasted by the smell of Ms. Drivels perfume. “Hi to you too,” she muttered, but was over ruled; Ms. Drivels was still talking away: “Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you agreed to come. It’s nice you invited a friend along, how very sweet of you. Although I disapprove of it being a boy, you naughty girl. But, beggars can’t be choosers. Where is he anyways? Oh, Isabella, it’s so good to see you!” Bella was crushed again, coughing some from the perfume. Sometimes the old lady could get just a little too enthusiastic about things. She preyed Regulus would get here soon so she could be spare of more talking. Talking was the last thing she really wanted to do, her stomach already in a fit of butterflies at the thought of going to face her mother.

Yet Ms. Drivels was ever more talking, “So dear, where’s this little friend of yours? You did tell him seven, right? We really need to get a move on. Traveling Muggle style, it’s such a hassle. But I promise your dear old Headmaster…now, where is he? What did you say his name was? Richard or something?” Bella had to try really hard to not snort out a laugh, Richard? She made a mental note to keep that one to herself. “No Peggy, Regulus. Regulus Black.” Ms. Drivels gave an undistinguishing grunt and finally fell silent. Thank goodness. Now at least she would be spared the hassle of speaking.

[brett]

ooc: it works

For some reason it hadn't occurred to Regulus that he would need to bring extra clothes until just this moment. Of course it should have been obvious since he would be gone all weekend, but somehow it was always the obvious things that slipped by him. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a few t-shirts and tossed them into his duffle bag along with soap, shampoo ect. He slung the bag over his shoulder and headed out.

Most of his housemates were still a sleep and those who weren't didn't ask questions as he slipped out into the dungeons and up the staircase to the entrance hall. Really Regulus had known all along that he would be late, he always was. No matter what the circumstance he could never arrive anywhere on time...most especially classes. He smiled an apologetic at Bella as he made his way over to her hoping they hadn't been waiting for too long.

"Hey Bella, sorry I'm late kinda forgot to pack until five minutes ago," He said smiling as he blushed slightly embarrassed by his tardiness. "You must be Ms. Drivels," Regulus said turning his attention to the older woman who was waiting a long with Bella. "I'm Regulus Black, pleasure to meet you," he said extending his hand. His parents had raised him to always use proper etiquette and be polite around his elders...unless they were mud-bloods.

[bella]

Bella let out a sigh of relief when Regulus finally emerged from the dungeons, glad to finally have some what sensible company. She really didn’t expect such polite manner from him, nodding curtly at his apologies before he turned to Ms. Drivels. She seemed overly eager, shaking his hand a bit firmly for such an old woman. “Hello Regulus dear,” Ms. Drivels flaunted, “It’s so nice of you to come. Isabella doesn’t like her mother much you see, it’s good she’ll have a friend to come along with her. Such a good boy, such manners.” Bella kept her gaze trained at her shoes, trying not to listen. Didn’t Ms. Drivels know she was standing right there? “But don’t worry about it, you can call me Peggy. Now, are we ready to go?” Finally she let his hand go and clapped her hands together readily. “Alright, come on you two, no need to dally.” She set off at a brisk pace towards the doors, leading them out.

Bella fell in set with Regulus, glad to have other company besides their guide. “Sorry about that, she did seem a little bit too excited to meet you when I told her in the letter. I’ve never gotten such a long reply from her before.” Ms. Drivels was walking with something of a cheerful pep as she went down the path towards the main gate and for the first time Bella wondered just how they were getting there. She had mentioned the Muggle fashion; she preyed that was only for getting in, not necessarily getting there.

The sun was barely up, just covered by a few speckled clouds here and there. The breeze picked up curls of her hair and Bella did her best to tame them back down, tugging her jacket a little bit tighter around her frame. “So did you get out okay? I don’t think many of your friends would be happy about hearing you coming with me…but thanks anyways. I think I’d die if it was just me and her.” She nodded toward Ms. Drivels whom still trotted up ahead of them. “Sometimes she’s not the best company…”

[brett]

"Right then...Peggy," Regulus said hesitating a bit. He thought it odd to call someone that much older than himself by their first name. He would probably still end up calling her Ms. Drivels anyway or at least start to then have to do that awkward changing half way through a word thing, but whatever. Hopefully he'd remember to just call her Peggy in the first place.

Following behind Ms. Drivels but far back enough that he could talk to Bella without her being able to hear they set out. He smiled and gave a small laugh as Bella told him of the long letter she had received and was going to ask about it's contents, but decided against it. It wasn't until she brought up the topic of his 'escape' from the commonroom. "No one knows where I'm going I didn't tell anyone I was even leaving, figured I could just make up something when I get back," Regulus answered with a small smile.

"No need to thank me. I was the one who offered to come remember? If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be," Regulus added not wanting Bella to feel as though he was doing her a favor. He wasn't sure if it was for his sake or hers, but all the same it had been his choice to accompany Bella. "So...you nervous?" he asked glancing down to his feet as they moved across the grass, still wet with dew, before looking back to Bella.

[bella]

“Oh, yeah,” she answered, “I guess that would make sense. I told a few people, but you don’t have to worry, they won’t tell anyone,” she added quickly, “You might be happy to hear I actually defended you. One of my friends, well, let’s just say she’s more closed minded then I am when it comes to house unity and when I told her you offered to come, she stared at me and then laughed. Couldn’t believe a Slytherin would ever do that. I told her looks could be deceiving.” Her smile was aimed at the ground, for she was having a hard time looking anywhere else.

It surprised her when he became slightly defensive and she made the mistake of looking up. Her stomach was in knots and any quick movements were not helping her. “Well, of course,” she stammered out, having been caught off guard. “I didn’t meant it like that, I mean, I just… Well, I guess it’s just that if you hadn’t offered, I probably wouldn’t have ever gone…” She looked back down at the wet lawn, unsure.

However, it was short lived. Bella glanced back up when he mentioned nerves. Well of course she was nervous – she wouldn’t feel like she had to hurl otherwise. Though, he didn’t need to know that. She could edit that part out. “Yeah, I guess…the last time I saw her, well, she’d been healthy for one thing, but we sort of yelled at each other and it ended on me walking out.” Bella was slightly ashamed of it, but it hadn’t really been a good day, that one. “And now she’s complaining for me to come back to her…as if she cares or something…” That old resentment itched back into her tone, the stubbornness that for a long time had kept her tears at bay.

[brett]

"...I probably wouldn’t have ever gone…” Regulus nodded "I understand," he said quietly realizing that he may have been a little quick to put up his defenses. It was just kind of instinctual for him to throw up his guard especially when helping people that perhaps he shouldn't be.

“And now she’s complaining for me to come back to her…as if she cares or something…” Regulus looked to the ground seriously considering his words before speaking. "I think she does care...I think maybe she always did," he said hoping this wouldn't upset Bella, but it was the way he felt. "I think all mothers care about their children," he added revealing that this was part of one of his idealistic theories.

"She'll never admit it, but my mother cares about Sirius...That's why she tried so hard to get him to accept the family ways...I mean maybe nowadays she cares more about Sirius ruining the family name than anything, but she still cares about him..." Regulus said looking down through most of his speech, but taking small glance at Bella every now and then. He wasn't even sure if what he said was true, but he liked to believe it was. It was what gave him hope that maybe his parents would accept Sirius, but he wasn't going to hold his breath.

[bella]

Bella was surprised Regulus could ever defend her mother, after everything she had done to her. Bella had been born because of one of her stupid flings one night and out of uncaring hatred gave her up to adoption just like that. She never wrote, never came back; in fact, if Ms. Drivels hadn’t come and found her, Bella probably would have lived her life without ever knowing her mother, just like her father. No one have ever turned up for her – she had no idea who her father was, she didn’t even have a name. Her mother wasn’t much better. So she had a name and a face, big deal. It didn’t say much when it was backed by nothing.

But there was true meaning behind his words and for a fleeting moment she felt like he could actually understand what she was going through. It must have been hard, his whole family situation. It made her realize she wasn’t the only one with problems. Clearly he had his own issues to deal with…and he was giving up a few days to help along Bella with hers. It seemed she would always regret yelling at him that first day, because the more that he allowed her to know him, the more she realized just how wrong she had been. Not all Slytherins were they same, and they did have hearts. Maybe some kept there’s locked away, but they were still there. Bella felt she had never been more wrong in her entire life.

“And you really believe that, do you?” she asked quietly, although not really caring if it were answered or not. At the very least he hoped his own words were true, his tone giving him away. A single tear escaped her, but she didn’t care. Compared to the last time, one silent tear was nothing to be embarrassed about. “She sure has a funny way of showing it…”

“Oh, where is that darn thing!” Ms. Drivels snapped, coming to a halt and nearly making Bella collide with her. She blinked, looking around. “W-what’s late?” she stammered, gaining back her balance. “Oh, that silly bus of theirs,” Ms. Drivel fretted, fidgeting with a loose thread on her shirt. So they were taking…a bus…? Bella was considerably confused for a moment until the gleaming purple bus stood before them magically. She felt like an idiot, realizing what Ms. Drivels had meant. “Well, after you, come on you two…hurry up, hurry up…” After a wry glance in Regulus’s direction, she clamper onto the bus.

Bella had never been on the Knight Bus before, but she’d heard a lot about it. Although, the time she’d heard about the bus it had been said to be lathered in rolling beds. Now however there were only a few stray beds, other areas crowded with tables. “Come on, this way deary…” Ms. Drivels sat down at one of the tables and Bella followed in pursuit, feeling oddly out of place. She hoped they didn’t have to be on here long…there was an old man over on one of the beds giving her creepy stares. Doing the best to advert her eyes, she preyed the trip wouldn’t take long.

[brett]

“And you really believe that, do you?” Regulus nodded he hadn't really felt the need for words. He was "I wasn't trying to--" he began in response to Bella's next comment, but was interupted by Ms. Drivels voice. Had it not been for the interruption he would have continued to say that he wasn't trying to defend what Bella's mother had done, because he thought it was horrible. Rather he just thought she should take advantage of the fact that he mother wanted to reach out to her even if it was 16 years late.

At the mention of the bus Regulus had raised an eyebrow. He had assumed they would use a portkey to reach St. Mungo's, but he supposed then they would have even needed to bother leaving the school. From what his parents had told him the Knight Bus was a 'disgusting low class means of magical transportation.' His mother had also been nice enough to add that 'anyone who needed to resort o using that monstrosity may as well hand in their wand.'

As he climbed aboard after a moments hesitation he found that the bus exceeded his expectations, but barely. And considering how low his expectations had been to begin with it didn't really help much. It wasn't as horrible as his parents had said, but he certainly had no plans of using it's services again after this trip. Following suit Regulus made his way over to the table with Bella and Ms. Drivel, not quite willing to risk sitting in one of the chairs.

[bella]

Bella was beginning to dislike the bus more and more. The stupid guy wouldn’t stop staring at her and she had the small incentive to jump up and go slap him across the face. Stupid old hag, she thought bitterly, knowing she would never permit herself to get within touching distance of him. “They let just about anyone here, don’t they?” she muttered, still keeping tabs of the weird man.

Ms. Drivels seemed unfazed, as bouncy as ever. “Oh, don’t worry about him deary. He won’t bother us. Now, about your mother, I should probably warn you, her health is slowly lowering and she isn’t really in her right mind. Don’t take what she says too personally Isabella dear, she doesn’t really mean it…” Bella anger flared for a moment, “How am I not supposed to take it personally when it’s the truth? She doesn’t care one bit about me.” She crossed her arms like a sulky child and glared out the window.

It annoyed her Ms. Drivels seemed unconcerned, “Oh, don’t be like that. You know, if you weren’t such a delinquent about it, maybe you’d see she’s not all that bad. She misses you, but she can only do so much. Now, Isabella”-

“Stop calling me that!” Bella snapped, “It’s Bella.” Ms. Drivels look taken aback, “Don’t you dare take that tone with me!” Bella remained silent, hating herself for agreeing to do this. Of course, Ms. Drivels had done nothing wrong, but Bella absolutely hated being called by her full name – the only person that ever did was her mother.

Although as an awkward silence fell, Bella instantly regretted yelling at Ms. Drivels. Lately Bella’s emotions seemed to dangle on a tight rope and even the slightly bit of annoyance set her off. She felt worse off for Regulus, understanding he had become the third wheel in a fashion for the moment. Ms. Drivel must have noticed, addressing him kindly, “Boy, you’ll want to sit. You’re likely to be thrown backwards if you stay standing.” Almost as if on queue, the bus gave a jolt and they were off.

[brett]

Regulus had noticed the man who kept looking at Bella had he been of age he would have tossed a conjunctivitis curse at him. It would serve him right, teach him some proper manners. Sadly though he was still 16, for another few months at least. The old man really wasn't worth it, it was just creepy was all.

Regulus looked around the dingy bus, before turning his eyes back to the conversation between Ms. Drivels and Bella. The conversation quickly escalated into an argument however and Regulus found himself torn. He wanted to interfere on Bella's behalf, but talking back to a former Professor at the school whom he had only just met didn't seem all that appealing. Ultimately he decided it would be best to just keep his mouth shut until someone addressed him.

Regulus had been about to decline sitting once again when the jolt all but forced him into a seat. It had become obvious that they would be having a bumpy ride. Displeased by this fact and just the fact of being on the night bus at all had him a bit upset with the current situation, but hopefully it wouldn't take long. In any case he figured there was no chance that they could move there seats now that the bus was moving, so Bella and himself were stuck at the table with Ms. Drivel. "Bella, I'm sure every thing's going to be fine," he said finally speaking his voice calm. Somehow he felt he should be the one to reassure her since he had made her change her mind about coming.

[bella]

Bella had been keeping her gaze carefully trained on the window. If she just kept staring at it, she wouldn’t have to worry about the odd man, she wouldn’t have to act like she was paying attention to what Ms. Drivel was saying, and it would leave Regulus free to do whatever he wanted to do. So naturally, she was a bit surprised when she heard something of a clunk and noted Regulus now sat in a chair against his best intentions. Her composure broke for a moment, her lips forming a laughing grin. But then she caught Ms. Drivels eyeing her suspiciously and Bella quickly turned back to the window.

“Bella, I’m sure everything is going to be fine.” For a moment his voice seemed foreign as he hadn’t spoken in some time. She swiveled her head back around and watched him curiously. How could he possibly think everything was going to be okay? From where she was sitting things looked hopeless. Still, she tried to listen to him. Everything will be okay, she repeated to herself, finally nodded briefly before she went back to the window.

“So you’ll listen to him and not to me?” Ms. Drivel chuckled to Bella’s annoyance. “My, she was certainly correct in accepting your offer boy,” she went on happily and Bella was glad to note she’d given up on talking to her and focused her attention on Regulus instead. “I don’t know how you did it; I could hardly get her to answer my owls. Taught all those years and still I have much to learn. That’s the thing Regulus, you always have to be willing to learn more. Can’t just think you know everything, oh no. You seem to have a good head about you though, a cute one at that. I’m so happy Isabella’s got you, such a lucky girl.”

Bella’s eyes widened, “W-we’re not together or anything!” she said quickly, embarrassed by the very thought – enough so to not bother to correct Ms. Drivels use of her name again. Why did Ms. Drivels always have to do this to her? It was like she lived to destroy her life at moments, while others she seemed like an angel. Right now, Ms. Drivels was displaying the earlier. She clicked her tongue, “Oh don’t worry about it dear. No need to fret, I won’t pester you two.” Bella groaned, giving Regulus a silent look of apology. He hadn’t realize what he’d offer to throw himself into.

[brett]

Regulus was glad Bella was listening to him, though he felt a little bad for Ms. Drivel. Though she was a bit annoying. At least Regulus was minding his manners. He smiled and nodded kindly as Ms. Drivel told him about always learning and complimented his cute head. He turned a spot flushed however as he realized she though Bella and himself were dating.

Regulus had been about to speak up, but Bella spoke first. He had never even really considered the thought of dating Bella. That was probably because he was so focused on Inigo right now. He looked at Bella trying to meet her eyes for just a second. He wanted curious if perhaps she wanted to date him...or if she would ever even consider it.

Regulus gave a 'don't worry about it' look to Bella when she looked at him apologetically. So far the trip had not been what he had expected, but he had volunteered. And besides it wasn't that bad..."So, uh when are we going to get there?" Regulus asked. He was so used to instantaneous travel through floo networks and portkeys that he was becoming a bit restless.

[bella]

Ms. Drivels, although having just promised to not bug them about something that wasn’t even happening, added brightly, “You two are so shy. No need to worry dear, no need…” Bella was becoming a bit concerned – she was not going to have Ms. Drivels think that Regulus was he boyfriend for the entire weekend. Just the thought sounded a little bit comical. He had been nice to her, and taught her a few valuable lessons, but as it stood right now she didn’t think either one of them knew enough about each other to ever consider. Maybe later, sure, I mean, Bella could be open to new things, but just having Ms. Drivels flaunt about them as though they were an item was a bit unnerving. She didn’t know how to tell her that they weren’t dating without hurting Regulus’s feelings. Everything she was coming up with seemed a tad bit rude.

He didn’t seem to mind about the miscommunication though, catching his glance. It would be a little awkward pretending to be in a relationship for the entire weekend and had no plans on doing so; she figured she could just corner Ms. Drivels about it later. For right now the old bat would just have to go on believing whatever the heck she wanted as Bella was helpless to try and convince her otherwise.

She had been staring at the table now when Regulus spoke up again. She was curious about the answer herself, she didn’t want to have to keep sitting there. Although, knowing what she was soon to be confronted with, Bella had a fleeting moment of hoping the journey would take the better part of the weekend. “Oh, we should be there soon. Next stop I think…I’ll go see…” How Ms. Drivels managed to get up and walk down to the conductor’s area without falling was beyond her. She started fidgeting with her zipper uncomfortably, it just being her and Regulus now. “I’m really sorry about that. I probably should have made it clearer we’re just friends…and warned you she can be a bit of a whacko at times.” Bella was still talking to her zipper – she didn’t have the courage to look up.

[brett]

"It's no big deal," Regulus shrugged. So what if some crazy old lady thought he and Bella were dating? Who was she going to tell, her book club? "Besides you've got bigger things to worry about than who your dating, while we're on the subject however would you ever date me?" Regulus asked trying to make sure it didn't sound like he was asking her out. After all St. Mungo's wasn't the ideal location for a first date.

It was merely out of curiosity that Regulus asked. If the situation were different, he would definitely consider dating Bella. The different situation being if he didn't already have a crush on a beautiful girl he was determined to date and soon. It also wouldn't hurt if he weren't a Slytherin who probably shouldn't even bother talking to a Hufflepuff. That, however was not the situation he was currently faced with.

Regulus found himself beginning to care quite a bit about the answer would she have stipulations like he had or would she flat out say no. He certainly hoped she wouldn't say no though. Even if he had no intention of dating her he would like to think that he was at least attractive enough for her to consider it.

[bella]

Bella let out a sigh or relief. It was during that time she dully noted what an effect he’d had over her lately. Maybe it was just because he could relate to her, or maybe it was because her only other alternative was Ms. Drivels…or her mother. Given the other two options, Regulus looked like a wonderful escape. It was an interesting thought none the less, and she wasn’t sure what to do with it. Bella shoved it away, but it came right back soon enough.

“Would you ever date me?” Bella finally looked up from her fidgeting hands flipping her zipper. Due to Ms. Drivels prying, she’d been asking herself the same thing, and depended on where her mind led her at the time, she wondered what his own answer was. There were a lot of ways she could react to such a question, and all of them left how he took it up for grabs. Would Isabella Swan ever date Regulus Black? She thought about it for a moment, unsure what exactly her face was giving away.

After a moment, she answered “Yes.” Bella had long decided she wouldn’t let new things scare her. “I suppose if the circumstances were a bit different, I would, of course. You’ve been able to let me see things a bit differently lately, like the world isn’t just black and white. I’d be willing to explore that.” She smiled lightly, finding it not so difficult to look up anymore. “What about you? I told you my answer; it’s only fair I get yours.” Bella was briefly reliving there first conversation, and it made her smile grow…just a little bit.