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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 22, 2012 13:43:42 GMT -5
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 22, 2012 13:47:20 GMT -5
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 22, 2012 13:53:59 GMT -5
You sure? Oh, good.
I talked to Stefan.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 22, 2012 14:07:14 GMT -5
I sincerely apologize if this comes across as anything other than sincere, albeit a tad confused, but don't you normally converse with Stefan? After all, I was under the impression that you two were the best of friends.
What did you two speak about?
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 22, 2012 14:15:18 GMT -5
Well, we hadn't spoken since before the holidays.
He told me about his parents. And... okay, there's no way to say this delicately, but we talked about you, and your relationship with each other. And I don't think I'm wrong in saying that Stefan doesn't quite understand how you're feeling, and if you want to talk to someone about it... I know we're not super close but you can to me.
And I want to come clean about something, and I should have said it months ago and I'm sorry I didn't. Do you remember when there was that Pen Friend assignment? Well... I used a pseudonym for mine. My middle name. It's Amy. So... I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I promise that everything you told me stayed between us.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 22, 2012 14:22:53 GMT -5
Thank you, kindly, for both your offer and your promise of discretion. Both are greatly appreciated.
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 22, 2012 14:34:45 GMT -5
I know you love Stefan, but you don't have to feel guilty if you can't give him what he wants right now. It's not your fault.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 22, 2012 14:40:40 GMT -5
Forgive me for not quite comprehending here, but what exactly do you mean by that?
While we're at it, what exactly did Stefan say to you?
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 22, 2012 14:50:47 GMT -5
Stefan is... trying to hold on to the relationship you had when you started seeing each other. He's trying to make it the way it once was. And it's understandable. It was happy and light, and he probably wants it more than anything right now because he feels like maybe he can control it. But he doesn't understand that both of you have changed since the relationship began, and he's unwilling to let the relationship evolve. I don't think he understands that relationships aren't about what you get in return for caring for someone. I'm not trying to cause trouble between you two, because I care about both of you and I know how happy you were when you started out. And I know I'm interfering and sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but if I can help two people important to me, I will.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 23, 2012 20:58:06 GMT -5
I'm still not quite understanding. Is Stefan upset with me?
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 23, 2012 22:49:53 GMT -5
No, you haven't done anything wrong.
It's a little complicated, and my head's all messed up right now so I'll just try to sort it out and make it clearer. Sorry for confusing you. I kinda confused myself too.
Stefan is the type of person who, when upset, relies on the people he loves most for emotional support and stability. It's not really something conscious and deliberate, I don't think, but it happens anyway. With his parents gone, his friends have become the people he loves most. And you, his boyfriend, are the focus of his attention. I can understand his desire to reach out for you right now, but what Stefan and I discussed was that he sometimes feels alone, and he's scared he's going to lose you, too, and I think it's because his expectations don't match reality when it comes to amount of comfort he's received emotionally. So what I tried to explain to him was that he's not alone, he has other friends who love him too, and that he can't expect you to give one hundred percent of your affection to him right now. And I'm really sorry for what I say next and I'm not trying to hurt you, honestly. I told him that I don't think he's given you enough time to recover, and he can't think you'll just 'forget' everything to support him.
He's been really shaken up and hurt bad by what's happened, and I don't think he's fully come to realise it yet. I think he's trying to ignore his own loss by trying to make your relationship as happy as it was when you first started to see each other. But what he doesn't realise is that both of you have changed, so the relationship, while it can be happy again, will never be the same. I think you can help each other through your trauma and grief, and I think you can always talk to others if you need more support. Both of you.
The basic gist of it all is that I thought Stefan was being selfish in his expectations of your relationship, but I hope I helped to clear his head a little bit, and I think - I hope - his feelings were mostly a product of grief. And I know I'm probably meddling and being an asshole, but... I don't know, I just want you and Stefan to be okay. Sorry.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 24, 2012 21:22:13 GMT -5
There were so many terrible things about this situation -- the fact that he was hearing this from Imogen, the fact that Stefan really was feeling neglected, the fact that Stefan really did expect more from Lyle than he could give -- but the worst was having it all told to him by Stefan himself. The stupid reading spell Stefan had given him was using Stefan's voice, meaning Imogen's words were spoken to him in the soft, lovely tones of his boyfriend's voice. Which meant that Lyle was hearing it from Stefan. Kind of. Sort of. Not really, not at all, and that just hurt.
He wasn't sure if he could listen to it for much longer.
I am not ignoring you, Imogen, but I am using a particular enchantment to read your correspondence and it is making me a bit uncomfortable at the moment. I would like to discuss this further with you, but am requesting that we perhaps postpone until after class.
Would that be agreeable to you?
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 25, 2012 0:50:05 GMT -5
Yeah, that's okay.
I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to upset you or hurt you or scare you or make you uncomfortable.
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Post by Lyle Malarkey on Feb 25, 2012 23:34:59 GMT -5
He didn't respond; he simply pushed the note to the corner of his desk and turned his body away, resting his head in his arms and closing his eyes. Stefan wanted something from Lyle that he couldn't give, something Lyle wasn't even sure he had to give. His mind was reeling, a flurry of thoughts and fears and realizations. Gabby's words were in the back of his mind, and now Imogen's were there, too, swirling around and making things both simultaneously better and worse. He sighed.
The bell rang some time later, and he waited. He pulled his head up and watched everyone else leave. He bit his lip and pushed himself away from his desk, shoving the notes into his school bag. He walked over to Imogen's desk, sat down on the one in front of it so that he was facing her.
"Gabby thinks we should take a break," he announced quietly, figuring that was a good place to start. "I know what he wants. I've known what he wants for a while. Stefan isn't.... subtle. Stefan's never been subtle, and I've never been good at telling people -- telling people no," he winced, because that wasn't the best way to phrase it and now it was making him think of worse things and, no, that was exactly what he was trying to avoid, and -- "and maybe that's the whole mess of things, but -- I can't tell him no, and I don't want to tell him yes, so I've kind of just been avoiding him altogether and that's making things worse."
He took a deep breath.
"So, Gabby said we should take a break."
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Post by Imogen Sauveterre on Feb 26, 2012 21:24:43 GMT -5
She should have stayed out of it. Imogen knew that. It wasn't her place to talk to Lyle about his relationship, and she definitely wasn't being a very good friend to Stefan. But, in her reasoning, she was trying to help. She had tried to help Stefan be more patient and open with Lyle, because he was being short-sighted and even selfish when it came to their relationship. He expected Lyle to be there for him, but he didn't realise that Lyle still wasn't recovered from his own trauma. She tried to help him understand that he couldn't rely on Lyle right now when Lyle was still fragile, but that he had other friends and people who cared about him to help him through his loss. And Lyle... Lyle had to understand that he wasn't doing anything wrong, but that Stefan had just lost his parents and was scared of losing another person he loved. He had to understand that Stefan was trying to cling to Lyle because he was desperate to keep something good in his life.
Or maybe she'd fucked everything up.
She took her time collecting her things, not really feeling like going anywhere in a hurry - especially facing Lyle, since she'd probably hurt his feelings. But then he was sitting down in front of her, and she blinked in mild confusion, and then he started talking. Gabby - that girl from Potions - suggested a break. And Stefan... Lyle was making it sound like Stefan wanted physical intimacy. Imogen furrowed her brow a little, wondering when that started. Of course Lyle would be pushing away from anything even remotely sexual. It was completely unrealistic for Stefan to expect him to be okay with touching or snogging or... whatever couples did... especially so soon after everything with Mulciber. If Stefan was pressing for that stuff now, only after his parents died, Lyle could be feeling used, too. Like... like he was just a distraction, which wasn't fair to him. That definitely wouldn't be improving how Lyle felt about physical interactions. And she could relate to having difficulty saying 'no' to people, especially those you care about. Her expression became more sympathetic and she listened quietly.
"... I'm sorry," she said softly, and this time it wasn't an apology because she felt she upset him. This time, she was sorry because Lyle and Stefan were both stuck in horrible, devastating situations, and it wasn't fair. "I think... I think you need to do what makes you happy, Lyle. And I think you've been thinking that taking a break isn't a bad idea, since you didn't dismiss it when Gabby suggested it. Did you?" She chewed on her lip as she pondered her words. "I think it's important for you and Stefan to know that... you don't want to just leave because it's too hard, though. I mean... When you look at it, maybe Stefan shouldn't be in a relationship right now that's not... not entirely steady, because it is still a fairly new relationship, and when people are upset they can do... things they regret. And I don't think it's good for you to be in a relationship where you feel pressured or controlled. Look, I care about you, and I care about Stefan. And I think it's great that you found each other when you did, and I think it could take a lot of work, but..."
But what? Did she agree with Gabby? To be honest, she didn't really want them to break up. They were having a lot of issues, but maybe once they understood each other and they talked about it, things could get better. But... maybe now wasn't a good time for either of them to be in a relationship. It would hurt - especially since Stefan was scared of losing Lyle - but...
"If you think a break will help you, then you know it's the right thing to do. But if you go through with it, I think... I think Stefan just needs to know that it's not... it's not that you don't care about him any less," she assumed, anyway, "and it's not that you don't want to be together, but more... of a necessity? He needs to deal with what happened to his parents, and y--" need to recover from what happened to you "And you need to focus on yourself and get comfortable and relaxed and okay again." Two broken pieces didn't always fit together to make a whole.
"Do you think it's the right thing to do?"
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