. . . infinity on h i g h

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Pathetic.

April 10

m o o d: still sad

A lot

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Is scared.

April 14

m o o d: anxious

See, the saddest thing is that you're the closest thing to love I've ever experienced.

What if that's all there is, and I let you go?

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Still pathetic.

April 20

m o o d: angry

It's been a year and a half, sweetie.

Do you realize this?

Do you think about us like I do?

Fuck me and my dramatics.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Needs to do something about this.

April 23

m o o d: anxious

I just realized this:

Photographers have portfolios.

Like, I KNOW!

How could I have forgotten this?!

Shit, I've got work to do, son.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
He likes Jacqueline Fontaine

April 24

m o o d: cheerful

Okay, so, it's going to sound crass, but I have to say it, because...it applies, okay? Please don't judge me. You're a book and I'm human. I've got the advantage here, journal, so bring it!

I'msogladJacquelineFontainedidnotoffherself.

Honestly. She's witty and gets my comments and doesn't offend easily and she'll be visiting me during the summer. Never mind that I don't really know the address as of yet, but those are the minimal details! I think I'd like to call her a friend. What say you, judgemental piece of junk?

Hell yes?

Thought so.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Knows he should stop arguing with her so much.
But won't.

April 26

m o o d: vexed

So.

Aside from me kissing her nothing much has happened on the Livy front.

Except we argued again.

Nope, I'm not re-writing a past entrance or anything. We seriously fight this much. Always. All the time. I'm not even kidding! It's even worse than when I used to date her best friend. It's gotten that bad. And it's over the stupidest of stuff! What is it with girls calling me Pierre Bear, anyway? It's a horrid nickname and I've discovered it's a huge pet peeve of mine. Like, hello? Do I look like a furry mammal to you? Exactly. I'm not cute either, so, can someone screw their heads on right again, please and thank you?

Yes.

I don't know. Maybe it's because we didn't really talk the kiss stuff out? Or maybe it's because I'm just pissy because things are like...weird. Don't even get me started on the Jenna subject, because I do believe I will explode. Livy was just the catalyst for another of my temper tantrums. Weirdly enough, she's the catalyst for a lot of those. Oh well. Life goes on, I suppose, and we'll have to apologize at some point.

Just not now.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Just had his first proper snog(s)

April 30

m o o d: confused

Speak of the devil and it shall appear.

Except I'm not sure who's the devil in this situation. I guess I could start from the beginning and save myself way too many ramblings, because shit, that's what I feel like doing. Rambling, that is. Not starting from the beginning, because then that would mean I would have to explain how I wound up in the Hospital Wing kissing Jenna Edwards. I know. I freaked out too, believe me. Especially when I woke up next to her this morning.

Before I go on though, I must say something: get your mind out of the gutter.

And why do I keep writing as if I had an audience. Nobody cares to read this piece of junk. My life's not interesting. Except, you know, I just woke up next to Jenna Edwards.

Wait a second...

LAKJDLJALKFJALKFDJAHOLYFLIPPINGSHITWHATWASTHATWHATDIDIDOOOO.


There

Onwards.

Anyway, yeah, I went there because I found through the mega douche Johnny Myers that she was in the Hospital Wing. I know, right? Like, what? Truthfully, I hadn't really made an effort to communicate with her during all that time, but man, hearing that? It made me flip out. Almost as badly as when I first found out about Livy's allergic reaction (except at that time I didn't know it was just allergies, remember?), so I took the risk of looking like a fool and steeled myself for, you know, making a total fool of myself. I hadn't really talked to her lately (did I mention that already?) because I wanted to keep my distance. I was feeling as if things were on fast forward with her and...well, bluntly put, I didn't like it. It freaked me out and I reacted the only way I could: I stopped looking her up. How I managed to do so, I have no idea, because yesterday? Yeah, I totally jumped her. Nope, I'm not proud, but in that moment I didn't give a damn, because Merlin, that girl is hot with her dark hair and light eyes and the way she responded? Intense, man. I'm so blaming my hormones for this. I mean, sure, I wanted to kiss her and I sure as hell wanted to snog her for as long as I did, but why? I'm not in the best emotional place to be stringing a girl along and Jenna doesn't deserve that. She's beautiful inside and out and here I am, kissing her, promising that I won't regret when Dani's still fucking planted in my mind.

It's not even voluntary anymore, that girl has set up camp quite cozily. I swear she even has a corner in my mind labelled "Dani's suite". It's not easy letting go, you know? And yesterday it was a succession of events that culminated in me staying the night because I simply couldn't leave. No, nothing happened except the occasional snog--and that sounds so impersonal, but it was more than that, I swear--and today, as I woke up and left without waking her up I realized how fucking messed up all of this is. I can't do this to her. I just can't. And I should be freaking out about the fact that yes, I am indeed human and yes, I do react like every guy out there with heavy makeout sessions, but that's hardly important when I'm being such a dick to such a wonderful human being.

What am I doing?

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Doesn't know the protocol for 'after snogging'

May 1

m o o d: worried

Keeping my distance means no notes, right? And it would probably do me well if I stopped thinking about the ridiculous game of 'Never Have I Ever' that eventually led up to us kissing?

Thought so.

I can't help it, okay? I hadn't really been this close with someone (physically~) and it's messing with my mind, doing weird things to my nervous system and shit. Like, I now understand PDAs a thousand times more than before. It's the chemistry, the electricity when you touch the other person. Jenna and I have that. Merlin, do we have it. I mean, it's crazy enough for it to happen without us knowing the other one properly, can you imagine that? I mean, sure, now I know that she's been to concerts and I haven't, she can't play an instrument and she's been with drunk people, but that honestly means nothing. It was a silly game.

Just a silly game.

So...

Care to tell me why I can't stop thinking about it?

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Hates stuff

May 2

m o o d: hurt

I suck at avoiding people.

Actually, no.

I'm kind of good at that.

I just suck at avoiding Jenna Edwards. I'm sorry, but her eyes were too blue today. I had to talk to her. I missed her, alright? I don't know what that means exactly. I don't know if it means I'm over Dani, or if I'm ready to even try experimenting stuff from a different angle, or if I want to, I just...today I didn't think and I just felt. I felt I missed her, so I sent her a note. I had to let her know that I wasn't avoiding her because I didn't want her, but because I'm pretty much a mess. I mean, it didn't do wonders for my ego, but at least she knows the truth, right? And that's what she deserves. To know the truth, because that's the least I can give her. I wish I could give her more of myself right now, but it's not possible. Like I said to her, I kind of need to get over Dani first before diving headfirst into something I'm not even sure of. Maybe when (notice how I didn't say 'if'? Progress!) I get over her I'll know what's up with Jenna. Or maybe not.

But whatever.

No matter, I knew it wasn't going to end well and I should be a psychic and ask for money for doing this because it didn't end well. I mean, we didn't argue or anything, but she doesn't want to talk to me until I'm sure of something. She didn't specify what, but just until I'm sure. It's more than obvious, though. She said it was too painful and blah blah blah. I didn't pay much attention after her cutting me off part. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't care for her reasons. I'm selfish. Why won't she talk to me? I talked to her first this time! But no. Of course not.

Fuck it.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Will never understand Danielle

May 5

m o o d: angry

Livy does not deserve to be used.

That being stated, I totally used her today. I even apologized, okay? I simply needed a small insight to Danielle's twisted, fucked up mind, because for real, I will never understand that girl. We were talking the other day and it was fine and normal and so damnably sweet and the next, since Sammy's there, it's as if I don't exist. It's fucking annoying. So I had to vent/question some poor innocent soul and who better than her best friend? I'm sorry Livy sweetie, but you weren't apologizing and I needed info stat.

Not that you were of much use, but, you know. At least we're on talking terms again. Because see, my ultimate need to use you does not make my apology any less valid.

...I'm a such a douche.

I blame Jenna for my weird and abusive moods.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Is nosy

May 6

m o o d: relaxed

This French woman is absolutely hilarious even when she's clueless. I had this way of inquiring if she was engaged or not and she, in a very roundabout way, squashed any doubt I may have had. I just didn't want to be so upfront about it, okay? You never know. "Ladies and their sensibilities" and whatnot. Although, I'm not really sure in what note we ended those...well, notes. Correspondence? Whatever. She may or may have not been hurt/irritated with/at me. Oh well. I still like her.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Doesn't know shit

May 16

m o o d: tired

There has been a series of notes that may or may not have an impact on my romantic life. First, she tried taking it back (as if it were that simple) and then I had to take it back, because, apparently, I argue with the girls I like. I'm exceptionally brilliant at being a douche. Anyway, I don't know where this leaves us, to be honest. Maybe it's for the best that things are left like that. I mean, we admitted we missed each other and all that kind of stuff I shouldn't be talking about because I'm stil not over Dani, but...I don't. I just don't know. I know nothing.

That's my stand from now on with girls:

I know nothing.

Ha.

Well, this thing with Jenna has taught me at least one thing: there's still hope for me. I mean, I'm capable of being attracted to other girls who aren't blonde and...Danielle. I mean, I knew this already? But like, snogging someone else? It was a huge step. I didn't even do that with Danielle. Like hell yes! I'm just not sure if I'm happy that this happened with someone I won't date.

Eh.

I suppose you can't have everything in life, no matter how icky that makes me feel.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Is competitive like fuck

May 28

m o o d: ecstatic

WE FUCKING WON.

That's all I have to say.

Thank you and goodnight.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Strongly dislikes Marlene McKinnon.
Seriously

June 10

m o o d: irritated

I swear that if Marlene Sophia McKinnon wakes up hanging from the Whomping Willow one of these days, I'll have my alibi at the ready. Some days, I can't stand this bitch girl. I've known her for a while, believe me and I know she can be a touch intolerable and a bit to handle, but the other day? The other day I was ready to lunge and forget the consequences. Screw her being a girl. As a matter of fact, I don't think she's a girl. She's an evolution. No, better yet, a hybrid between bitch and harpy. That's the only way you can accurately describe that pretty thing. Anyway, as always, I guess I should rewind a bit and start from the start, hah.

Sirius' birthday, yes?

She'd been organizing this party since forever. I think I mentioned she had handed out the invites like crazy early? Well, the day finally arrived. Sirius' birthday. I couldn't even say happy birthday to the guy, because little Ms. Prissy hogged him straight from the start. But see, she'd enlisted my help, yes? Don't even ask me how she brainwashed me into accepting to participate in this mad scheme, because I still haven't figured it out. Anyway, enlisting my help, it seems, is a synonym for cargo mule to this Bitch/Harpy Hybrid. She had me carrying cases upon cases of champagne and drinks and stuff I'm sure is not even allowed on campus and I was probably breaking about a thousand of the trillion rules we have on our handbook, but whatever. It was a party, yes? Besides, the fact that we won the Quidditch Cup is enough to keep me happy for the rest of my existence (not really, but you know), so I wasn't really complaining. Okay, so maybe I was. A little. You know how I am. How could I not complain, you know? Anyway, I digress. Not only did she have me carrying stuff for an unlimited amount of time, she also felt the need to boss me around and bitch straight in my face with people around. As if me having to stomach her for a long period of time wasn't torture enough, she had to go and try to be a smartass in front of my Blueberry Muffin and you know, people. Speaking of! It had been a while since I'd last seen Bella (aka Blueberry Muffin) and I was really glad to finally see her. She was there with eternal boyfriend (aka Remus Lupin) and I have to say, she looked quite gorgeous. If you allow me to say (and you must, because you're a diary, you piece of crap), I have quite the best taste in women. I mean, Bella Swan? Downright gorgeous. She's got this porcelain skin and almond eyes and dark hair and...nope, not going down that road again. Took me long enough to get over her.

POINT IS!

To summarize, because, I'm pretty sure I'll ramble up a storm if I don't try to be concise:

Party was a success, Marlene got Sirius a flying motorcycle (she's so in love with him, who's she trying to kid), left Alice in shambles, we all sang happy birthday (this was before the motorcycle, duh), there was some lip on lip action between Peter and Adrienne (yes, I'm a nosy dude, shut the eff up), Lily and James showed up together (oh, the scandal! We all knew those two were gonna end up shagging anyway) anddd...what else? I don't know. If I remember something else, I'll make sure to spill. I'm too gossippy not to, anyway.

So, for now, it's an "I'll see ya lataaa".

Yes, I do know I'm lame.

[pierrescham]

_________________________________________
Random Pierre Fact of the Day:
Is trying really hard not to crush on Tori

June 15

m o o d: attractive

So there's this girl who's fucking hot oh, why do I cross it out? She's fucking hot. And we call each other baby, sweetie, darling, love and all those rabid things. She's currently single, is always suggestive when around me and I just asked her to be my first shoot.

Just her.

No one else.

Just me and her.

Did I mention she wants the theme to be pin up girls?

Somebody please explain to me how am I supposed to survive this, because, so far, I don't have a fucking clue.

I know I'm going to make a fool of myself, but that's nothing new. The thing is, this is Tori we're talking about and as much as I love her and all, sometimes you can't ignore how disgustingly gorgeous she is. For you to understand the concept, you have to see her. She has dark hair, pouty lips, porcelain skin, mind-blowing eyes and a body to die for. She's tall, has killer legs and has this voice that makes you want to melt into a puddle. Yes, it's that bad. Again, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

S.O.S.!